Authors: Sherryl Woods
T
racy was waiting exactly where Hank had told her to wait, inside the office at the gas station. Sitting on a chair, shoulders slumped, her expression glum, she looked like an abandoned waif, rather than a beautiful young woman just emerging into adulthood. Seeing her like that scared him. He didn’t have any experience at handling something like this. What if he said the wrong thing? What if he only made matters worse? How had Todd survived all the years he’d been a single parent to Kevin? How did Ann cope on her own with the steady stream of kids she’d taken into her home and heart? He wished he’d taken the time to call her for some quick advice on parenting before barreling down here, but he hadn’t. He was on his own.
He opened the door to the office and stepped inside.
“Tracy,” he said quietly.
Her gaze shot up and her eyes filled with tears. She launched herself into his arms and clung like a frightened child. He held her tight. “It’s okay, sweetheart. Everything’s okay,” he soothed.
He turned to the attendant. “Thanks for letting her stay inside.”
“No problem, mister. I just wish more girls used their heads these days and called home when things got out of hand.”
When they’d gotten into the car, Hank handed her a tissue. “He’s right, you know. You did the right thing by calling. Don’t ever be afraid to turn to Ann or me when you’re in trouble.”
Tracy fidgeted nervously. She glanced sideways at him.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“You’re not going to tell Ann, are you?”
He hesitated, torn. Finally he sighed. “Not unless you say it’s okay.”
“Thank you.”
“Wait a minute. I think you should talk to her about it yourself.”
“But she wouldn’t understand.”
It was the cry of teenagers about their parents from time immemorial, but still Hank stared at her in astonishment. “Ann? Sweetheart, she’s the most understanding woman around. Of course she’d understand.”
“But she’s so perfect. She never makes any mistakes, at least not really dumb ones like this.”
Hank thought of the story Ann had told him just last night about her own youthful error in judgment. If only she would share that story with Tracy. It would bring
the two of them even closer, bridging the gap that even Ann was all too aware of.
“Talk to her,” he urged again. “I think you could be surprised.”
An hour later when they walked into the house together, Ann looked up from her book, her expression welcoming until she spotted Hank with Tracy. Alarm warred with dismay. Hank could read the entire gamut of emotions in her eyes. As always, concern for one of her kids won out over her own feelings.
“Is everything okay?” she asked, looking anxiously from one to the other.
“Fine,” Tracy mumbled, not meeting her gaze directly. “I’m going to sleep. Thanks for picking me up, Hank.”
When she’d gone, Ann stared hard at Hank. “Is she really okay?”
He nodded. “Just a little shaken.”
“What happened? Was there an accident? Why was she with you?”
“I gave her a ride home.”
“Don’t be deliberately obtuse. Why?”
“Ask her.”
“Dammit, Hank. She’s practically my daughter. If she’s in some kind of trouble, I ought to know about it.”
He knelt down beside her so he could gaze directly into her worried eyes. He placed a reassuring hand on her knee, but removed it when he felt her go tense. “She’s okay, Annie. I swear it, but I promised her I wouldn’t talk about it. I think she’ll tell you herself once she’s had some time to settle down a bit.”
She frowned at him, then asked furiously, “Where the hell do you get off deciding what’s best for one of
my kids? I’m responsible. Whatever happened, I should have been there, not you.”
He recognized the frustration and guilt in her voice and wanted more than anything to put her fears to rest, but he’d made a promise and he intended to keep it. He knew enough about teenagers to understand that Tracy would never trust him again if he betrayed her now, no matter how well-intentioned he might be.
“She called me,” he reminded her gently. “What was I supposed to do?”
After a long silence, she finally let out a deep breath. “I’m sorry. You’re right. You had to go. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you, but, Hank, I’m really worried about her. She was acting funny all day long.”
“She really is fine.”
“I’m not so sure. I’m not just talking about whatever happened tonight. I’m talking about how she handled it. She insisted on calling you earlier today, too. I’m sure that was part of the same thing. I think she’s developing a full-scale crush on you.”
The comment hit him from out of the blue. It rocked him back on his heels. “Come on, Annie. Don’t be ridiculous.”
“It’s not ridiculous and you know it. You may well be the first man who’s ever treated her with respect and tenderness. Why wouldn’t she fall for it?”
“Hell, I’m old enough to be her father.”
“Age is irrelevant in a situation like this. Young women who’ve had absent or abusive fathers often think they’re in love with older men who are like the idealized fathers they never had.”
He got up and started pacing. The movement only seemed to increase his agitation. Finally he sank down
in a chair and ran his fingers through his hair. Ann was making a sort of twisted kind of sense, but he was convinced she was way off base. He wasn’t that insensitive. He would have known if Tracy had a crush on him.
“You’re wrong, Annie. She’s thinking of me as her father. I’m sure that’s all it is.”
“Maybe. Just be careful. Whatever her feelings, if she begins to depend on you too much, she’s going to be devastated when you leave.”
“Who says I’m leaving?”
“Hank, be realistic,” she said impatiently. “The job will be over sooner or later. You’ll go back to Miami. We may all run into one another occasionally on holidays at Liz and Todd’s but that will be the extent of it.”
He studied her closely. Her expression was determinedly unemotional, her tone flat. Still, he had a feeling she was voicing her own fears now. “Is it Tracy you’re worried about now or yourself?”
She flushed. “Leave me out of this. I’m an adult. I can handle it.”
“Can you really? Look what happened last night.”
“Nothing happened,” she pointed out with a touch of wry humor.
“I was referring to how upset you got, but let’s put that aside for a minute and deal with what’s really bothering you. You know perfectly well that I stopped making love to you for all the reasons you’re talking about. I probably will go back to Miami in a few months and when I go, I don’t want you on my conscience.”
“How very noble!” she said, her blue eyes flashing fire. “Don’t do me any favors, mister.”
Troubled by the hurt behind her remark, Hank tried
to sort through the mess they seemed to be in. “Do you want me to move out now? Maybe it would be better for everyone if I went before the attachments got any deeper.” That went for him as well as them, though he wasn’t willing to admit it.
“Maybe it would be,” Ann said in a voice that was surprisingly weak considering her angry state only moments earlier.
There was a sharp ache in his gut, but Hank nodded and got to his feet. “I’ll pack my things.”
He was halfway across the room when he heard what sounded like a muffled sob. When he turned, Ann was hastily wiping the tears from her cheeks. He was beside her in an instant. Kneeling again, he took her hands in his. “Annie, is this really what you want?”
The broken sound she uttered was part laugh, part sob. “I don’t seem to know what I want,” she confessed. “For the first time in a very long time I don’t have the vaguest idea what’s right.”
“Then I guess we’re in the same boat. I don’t seem to be sure of anything anymore, either. Liz and Todd seem to have this crazy idea we’re meant for each other. They set us up, you know.”
She nodded and smiled ruefully. “Think we should wring their necks?”
“It’s crossed my mind. On the other hand, they are our best friends. They know us pretty well.”
“What are you saying?”
“Maybe we should stay right where we are and play out this hand like a couple of grown-ups.”
“Now that’s a risky notion,” she joked feebly. Tears trembled on the ends of her lashes, then spilled down her cheeks.
“Hey, I’m a gambling man, remember?”
“Maybe so, but
I’ve
never gambled on anything in my life.”
With the pad of his thumb, he rubbed away her tears. “Who knows,” he said. “Maybe you’ll have beginner’s luck.”
The only trouble with this new game plan was that they didn’t seem to know how to begin. For the next few days, they were both so wary Ann thought she would scream in frustration. Every time Hank so much as brushed accidentally against her, he apologized profusely and bolted. She was rapidly reaching the end of her patience.
Nor was she one bit sure how she felt about Hank’s decision to insinuate himself into their lives more completely than ever. From her point of view, particularly after their talk about Tracy, she still thought a little caution was called for. When she told him exactly that one night after dinner, he snapped back, “You can’t have it both ways. I can’t stay here and back off at the same time.”
“I don’t see why not,” she said stubbornly.
He simply stared at her.
“Okay, so it’s not logical,” she admitted finally. “I’m not feeling very rational.”
“How are you feeling?”
“Like I’m being ripped in two.”
“Me, too.”
Suddenly she started laughing. The whole thing was utterly absurd. They were two supposedly mature, rational adults with advanced college degrees. Between
them, surely they had sufficient brainpower to come up with a solution.
“I’m not sure I see what’s so funny,” Hank growled. “We’ve got a problem here.”
“Exactly. Would you care to define it?”
“We’re…” He fumbled for an explanation.
“Horny,” she provided.
“Annie!” Shock registered on his face, though she could see from the look in his eyes that she’d hit the nail on the head. Hank was not a man used to going for long without a woman in his life. Ironically, he was probably equally adept at avoiding emotional intimacy. In their current situation, the tables had been turned on him.
“Well, that’s the problem, isn’t it? If I were any other woman, you’d have taken me to bed days ago, wouldn’t you?”
“You are not any other woman.”
“I suppose I should thank you for that,” she said dryly. “But at the moment I’m not one bit grateful.”
He chuckled. “I see your point.”
They sat there staring at each other. “We could go to a movie,” he suggested finally.
“It is nearly ten o’clock at night.”
“We could rent one.”
“And sit side by side, curled up on the sofa,” she said, deliberately taunting him.
“Bad idea.”
“I knew you’d see it.”
“How about chess? We could play a game of chess. It’s dull, hardly the stuff of erotic fantasies.”
“I don’t play chess.”
“Checkers, then. Hell, help me out here, Annie. I’m trying.”
“Okay, checkers. I think Paul has a set in his room.”
“You get ’em. I’ll make a bowl of popcorn.”
“I should have known you’d try to sneak in junk food.”
“I’ll bring grapes for you.”
Fifteen minutes later they had the checkerboard on the table between them, along with a bowl of buttered popcorn and a plate of grapes. Five minutes after that, Hank had won the first game.
“You’re not concentrating,” he accused.
“Who can concentrate? You’re over there crunching away on the popcorn.”
“Popcorn does not crunch. At least not a lot. It’s hardly enough to distract a really good checkers player.”
“I never said I was any good. Even Tommy can beat the socks off me. You’re the one who wanted to play.”
“I wanted to do something that would keep my mind off taking you to bed.”
“Is it working?”
“No!”
“That’s what I was afraid of. It’s not working for me, either.”
“Do you know why?”
“Physiologically or psychologically?” she inquired. He glared at her.
“It’s because we’re living here together, playing house, so to speak. Only we’re not…you know.” His voice trailed off weakly.
“See,” she gloated. “You can’t even talk about it.”
“Do you honestly want to talk about it?”
“It’s been my experience that talking usually helps.”
Hank was shaking his head adamantly. “Not in this
case. Take my word for it, Annie. Talking about sex will not get our minds off it.”
“It might put it into perspective.”
“Right now about the only thing that would put it into perspective for me is a cold shower, which I intend to take.” He got as far as the door before turning back, a wistful expression on his face. “I don’t suppose…”
“I am not taking the shower with you.”
He grinned. “It was worth a shot.”
The next morning they were both bleary-eyed and grouchy.
“What’s wrong with you two?” Paul asked when they’d both snapped over something totally inconsequential.
“Not enough sleep,” Hank said, staring pointedly at Ann.
“Whose fault was that?” she retorted, slamming a teacup down in front of him and pouring him some herbal tea.
“I want my soda,” he said, pushing the cup aside.
“I threw them all out.”
“You did what!” he bellowed, sounding like a wounded bear.
She smiled. “Try the tea.”
“I will not drink this watered-down excuse for tea. There’s no caffeine in it.”
“That’s the point.”
In midargument Ann noticed that the kids were following the battle as if they were at a tennis match, looking back and forth, back and forth, as the barbs flew.
“Enough,” she said with a sigh. “Truce.”
“Does that mean I get my soda?” he inquired hope fully.
“It means we’re going to stop fighting about it.”
“We’re only going to do that if one of them turns up on this table in the next ten seconds.”
“Oh, go fly a kite!” she said and stalked out of the house. Openmouthed, the kids stared after her.
“Is Mom okay?” David asked hesitantly.