Tears on a Sunday Afternoon (15 page)

“It depends.”

That’s the thing about life; it always “depends.” I sensed that she was trying to fuck and I wasn’t interested at the present time.

“Not that, Donald. Besides, you look like you’re in love.” She winked at me, still sounding excited. “Seeing that we’re in Manhattan, I can take you by my dream store—the boutique I’m planning to buy with my share of the take. You’ll love it.”

“Give me a minute,” I said, getting out of the car.

“Tell her I said hello.”

I waved my middle finger from side to side at Donna.

I took out my phone and double-clicked on Julie’s number. She asked me what I was doing the following evening. I told her that I would be spending it with her. After she paused to think about it, our date was set. I put the phone away and got back into the car.

Donna gave me an inquiring look. “I must meet that woman who was able to do what I couldn’t.”

“She’s not into games.” I started the car once more. “You two will never meet because you’re worlds apart.”

“Keep believing that, Donald. She has tits and a pussy. She ain’t no different than me.”

“Where to?” I asked, hoping to get off Julie.

“Take Sixth Avenue and turn on 23rd Street and then back onto Fifth Avenue.”

I followed her directions and headed up Fifth Avenue. “You always wanted to open your own store?”

“This is a dream. Imagine me owning my own store on Fifth Avenue. It doesn’t get any bigger than that. Did you think I dreamt about being a fucking secretary? Hell no. Who the hell grows up with aspirations of making coffee for their boss? It is true that I took full advantage of this position but, like I said, the pussy can only hold for so long.” Donna didn’t play with the English language. In no sense of the word was pussy a vagina and dick a penis.

“I guess hard work pays off.” I maneuvered around a yellow cab that had stopped in the middle of the street.

“Hard work and some carpet burns.” Donna laughed at her own joke. “In this world, it’s never about one thing. Some of us might be able to combine hard work and some luck to equal success. Some of us could be in the right place at the right time combined with a certain look and you are tops. Look at you.”

“Me?”

“Yeah, you!” she shouted. “Do you think that there are a whole lot of ugly guys pushing thirty-five and living in Mill Basin? You don’t think that your brains got you there? Because, if you do, you can let me out right here.”

I continued driving, knowing that she was speaking the truth. I didn’t have much to offer a woman like Lauren. I was nothing more than a reproductive showcase for her family. There’s a saying that states you have to know who you are to get where you are going. I knew who I was and I was about to use it to get where I was going. Donna had said that Julie wasn’t much different from her, but I also realized that I wasn’t any different from her. I turned down Fifth Avenue.

“This is it. Right here.” The excitement in her voice was beginning to make her voice quiver.

I pulled the car over and parked. We got out. I didn’t bother putting any quarters in the meter. Donna stood outside the boarded-up two-story building. “So, this is where the new Donna Karan starts?”

“Yep, I’m going to call it Rochelle’s, where the fancy people go to shop. We won’t be talking about ten-dollar dresses.”

“Don’t knock the ten-dollar dresses. With the right body, a ten-dollar dress could make a woman look like a million bucks.”

I recalled some women from my past. They didn’t have the money to buy the expensive clothes, but whatever they wore made them look like they had stepped out of a fashion magazine. One such woman was Carol. Carol was a student attending Columbia on a full scholarship. She lived in the Glen-wood projects but you could never tell that Carol was poor by the way she carried herself. She never wore any ghetto-looking clothes that showed too much of the wrong things. She wore clothes that accentuated her positives. Her long skirts encased and molded her long, gorgeous legs. Her mid-cut blouses never fell below her waist; making her ample breasts a feast for the human eye. Her heels were never more than two inches above the ground and her effortless, sexy walk left men longing for a turn.

“I know what you mean. Believe me, I’ve seen some five-hundred-dollar dresses that I would throw in the garbage before I gave them away. But, I won’t be selling anything inexpensive. My store has to be a name-calling store. When women mention that they’re going to my store, I want people to know that a Rochelle bag means that the person purchased something expensive. It’s like a Bloomingdale’s bag, which is a far cry from Conway. I want people to walk around with the bag just because the store is expensive.” Donna tapped on the glass window.

“Yeah, I know what you mean. A lot of women put Conway stuff in Macy’s bags,” I said, laughing.

“You got it; image is everything. There’s a black middle-class that has a lot of money to spend while they try to keep up with the Joneses. I plan to help them spend that money.” Donna opened the car door. “In the process, I plan on opening hundreds of Rochelle’s all over America. Some people merely need a start. What are your plans for the money?”

I was at my worst. Donna had a lot of dreams that would never materialize because she would never get the ten million dollars. Unlike me, she had the world waiting for her respect. The money was going to change her whole life. To be honest, once I came to the conclusion that I would have to kill Malcolm to get my son away, the money wasn’t important. I would maybe take Julie on some wondrous trips and put some money away for Emerald. Beyond that, I had no dreams. I didn’t have a restaurant that I wanted to open or some plan for a money-making business. As long as my son was taken care of, I was good.

“I’m planning to use mine to get out of hell.” I didn’t feel like going into details with Donna. “You want me to drop you home?”

“Yeah, maybe you can come in and meet my family,” she said. “I already told my husband about you.”

“No, I’ll take a rain check.” I drove down the West Side Highway toward the Brooklyn Bridge. Donna was a true player; she knew introducing her husband to me would take away suspicion. After all, you wouldn’t bring the man you’re fucking on the side home to meet your husband. This was something a woman could do and get away with but, if a man did that, the woman on the side might flip.

The ride was smooth as we went through Manhattan, then turned onto Chambers Street before taking the ramp by One Police Plaza onto the Brooklyn Bridge. Tomorrow was going to be another day. I had happy plans for the next day. If there was ever such a thing as a soul mate, I had indeed found mine. My only solace in a cruel world was that at the end of it all, Julie awaited. My cell phone vibrated again and I picked it up and looked at the number. It was Brenda. Brenda had a lot going for her, but someone else was occupying my thoughts. I put the phone back into my pocket amid a questioning look from Donna. I didn’t want anyone else but Julie.

I
jumped out of the bed as if an explosion had rocked my head. I looked over at the BOSE CD clock on the nightstand. It was 4:00 a.m. I picked up the cordless phone and dialed Julie’s number.

“Donald, what happened?” She sounded groggy.

“I’m coming over now,” I said and hung up the phone. I went over to the closet and grabbed a pair of jeans. The house was deadly silent as I made my way down the stairs. I turned the alarm off before I opened the door, then turned it back on after I had opened it. I jumped into the S5 and slowly started to back out of the driveway. I saw the upstairs master bedroom light come on and noticed a figure at the window. I pressed the remote button to close the gate. I drove through the streets of Mill Basin, mindful that only the restless souls would be on the road at that time of the night. I hadn’t bothered to ask Julie if Brian was with her. I looked over at my cell phone to make sure that it was on. I’m sure if she needed to talk to me, she would have called.

As I pushed the Benz on the Belt Parkway, I contemplated on what had gotten me on the highway. I had thought about Julie before I went to bed and had spent about an hour thinking about us having dinner that evening. But then I woke up and the need to be with her became overwhelming. I didn’t want her. I needed to be with her. I had never experienced that feeling before. Yes, on occasions I had awakened wanting to fuck and I had made booty calls that resulted in me getting some. And sometimes, if nothing was available, I would put on an X-rated movie and jerk the fuck off. But this was different. I didn’t just want pussy or a blow job. No, I needed Julie right then. I was lost in the desert and Julie was my water. I had lost both my kidneys and Julie had the only one that would be a match. I didn’t know when it had happened, but Julie had gotten into my head.

I pulled into her driveway and parked my car behind hers. I looked around to see if any other souls were in my predicament but saw none. There was a car waiting at a stoplight down the block. There were no other signs of human life on the streets of Queens. I walked up to the door. Before I could ring the bell, the door opened and there she was.

Julie was standing in the middle of the doorway in a black, see-through, opened silk robe. The robe barely hung onto her shoulders. I had been with hundreds of women, but no one, and I mean no one, could even come close to Julie. For the first time in my life, I was in total awe of a beautiful woman. I gazed into her eyes and saw a lust that would devour me. I flew into her arms with the fire of the afterburn and as my tongue reached into her mouth, bringing us to a place where dreams were made and lives were lost, I welcomed the loss of my life. She responded by taking my tongue and pulling it into her mouth like it contained the cure for a hundred diseases. I took my foot and kicked the door shut as I relished our passion. The softness of her breasts against my chest, the warmth of her vagina against my leg, was sending my head into orbit. I stepped back from her to open my shirt, but my response was a little too late. Julie grabbed my shirt and ripped it open as I unzipped my pants and dropped them to the floor. She pulled me back into her as I stepped out of my pants. I kissed her on her face, her cheeks, her nose and her eyes.

“I love you; I love you,” I said as I kissed down to her breasts. Going from left to right, I sucked them as if they were the juice of life.

“Donald, Donald,” she whispered between bites on my earlobe, driving me to a state of frenzy. As I brought my face back up to hers, I went back to greet her tongue with mine. I spread her legs with my arm as she jumped up onto my waist, her secretions warm against my stomach. I went down on one knee, then another, taking her with me to the middle of the living room floor. I quickly pushed my feet out, one after another, as I brought Julie down onto my manhood.

Inch-by-inch she allowed me into her. It was God’s wish, the devil’s party and our passion. There was no past, no future, just the present and everyone wanted a piece of it. I had never needed to be inside a woman like I needed to then.

“I love you, Donald,” she said, as a tear fell from her eye onto my shoulder.

“I do, too, with all my heart,” I said as she started to ride me, pulling me deeper into her with every movement. I reached over and brought her face to mine as, once more, I wanted every liquid in our bodies mixing at the same time. I had thrown caution to the wind. If, for some reason, Julie was harboring the deadly sexual diseases of our time, I had given them access to my body. I wanted her and everything that she had. As she continued to use her passion, her body and her spirit, I felt the tremors in her body. Her tremors were soon joined by a weakness in the evolution of man. She had reached out on passion hill to me and together her body shook and my thrust came up in uncontrollable passion. This time it was her who locked my mouth with hers and man and woman were back to their essence. She went into uncontrollable convulsions, taking me and my gift of life far up inside of her. We both fell to the side, my penis still inside of her; our bodies locked together. I stared into her eyes and saw what the angels sang about; what men and women had killed for over the years. I saw a union of two souls.

There were no words to be spoken as we lay locked in each other’s arms. Her eyes told me everything that I wanted to hear. Her eyes fluttered, then closed, and I soon joined her in a land where two people who found each other stayed together forever.

“I guess you really like the food here,” Brian said as he took a seat opposite me. “Or maybe just the owners.”

I had told Brian about my encounter with Brenda, whom I was meeting for dinner. He had called me a little after 2:00 p.m., after I had left Julie’s. I agreed to see him before Brenda arrived.

“You want something to drink?”

“Yeah, something very strong, like a Black Man’s Heart Attack.” Brian drummed his fingers on the table and looked around the room. “Julie has done a complete three-sixty on me.”

The waitress had seen Brian take a seat at my table so when I lifted my hand, she came right over. “Let me get a Black Man’s Heart Attack.”

“Do you want double the Hennessy for five dollars more?” she asked.

I looked over at Brian, who hadn’t even noticed the curves on the waitress. “Yeah, I think he needs it.”

“I agree,” she said with a sexy smile that made you want to holler out her name.

“I don’t know what happened with Julie. We were doing so well. Now she doesn’t even want me to touch her. Do you think she’s seeing someone else? I know she isn’t like that but something’s going on with her.” Brian looked to me for answers.

I drank some more of my Hurricane. “I don’t know what’s going on with Julie. I know she’s preoccupied with the planning of the robbery, but that’s about it.”

“But, Donald, that shit ain’t right. You can’t go from being all over me to not even wanting to be near me.” He seemed extremely frustrated. “You’ve got to talk to her for me. You guys go way back. She’ll tell you what’s going on.”

I was the last one to talk to Julie. Even though I felt sorry for Brian, I was glad that Julie wasn’t sleeping with him anymore. “Do you think Julie will open up to me, knowing that you and I are friends?”

The waitress put Brian’s drink in front of him and he took a long gulp. “Yeah, you’re right. She won’t tell you anything. She knows you’re my boy and you would tell me about it.”

“What you need is a woman to get your mind off of Julie; a little thing on the side. Don’t let a woman stress you. Did you see the waitress?” I asked.

Brian looked at me like I had cursed his mother. “Donald, I don’t want anyone else. I want Julie. I’ve had my share of waitresses. A phat ass don’t mean shit to me. There comes a time when a woman flips you over. Julie’s done just that to me and I’m not giving up that easily.”

“Take my advice, Brian, don’t fight for a woman’s feelings. It’ll only fuck you up,” I said.

“That’s easy for you to say. You’ve never loved a woman in your entire life,” he stated angrily. “I can’t live like you, Donald. I need more.”

“You obviously didn’t learn from the past. They say whoever doesn’t learn from the past will be punished by the future. In less than a week, you’ll have some serious cash that you can use to see your daughter. I suggest you think about that instead of the emotions of a woman.”

I looked at the time. Brenda should have been there at any moment. Even though it was her father’s restaurant, I told her I would pay for dinner. I asked her what her parents thought about her dating older men. She said they were cool with it, because it was better than her bringing a thug home.

Brian put the glass to his mouth and swallowed the rest of his drink. “Donald, I’m sorry if I was a bit harsh, but Julie is fucking with my head. I don’t know what to think. Do me a favor and keep your ears open for me. I want to know if there’s someone else in the picture. Here’s your young thing.” He stood. “She is fine.”

I reached out to shake his hand and sat down, my back to an approaching Brenda. She had called me a few times before. I returned her call and agreed to meet with her. When she walked over to the table, I stood to acknowledge her presence.

“You’re looking good,” I said. She had on form-fitting jeans and a white shirt. Her shiny black hair was combed out so that it dropped down close to her shoulders. She had on some unnecessary makeup because you could tell her skin was spotless below.

She sat down. “Not enough for you to return my phone calls.”

I deserved that so I didn’t reply along the same line. “What have you been up to?”

“Staying away from the South Street Seaport.” She looked me directly in the eyes. “Because good memories are hard to forget.”

“Okay, I admit I deserve that, but can we get past it?” I asked.

“If you promise to go with me to Puerto Rico next week, we can.” She again looked to me for answers.

“How much time do I have to decide?”

“Not much. I have my ticket. I could buy yours tonight,” she said.

The waitress returned with her pad in hand. She looked surprised when she saw Brenda. “Good evening, Miss Jackson, can I help you with something this evening?”

“Donald, are you ready to order?” Brenda asked.

I looked through the menu and ordered the house salmon special. Brenda ordered the steamed lobster. The waitress took our menus and left.

“How often do you eat here?” I asked Brenda.

“Not very often. I like cooking and, if I don’t cook, I order something in Manhattan. Sometimes I don’t feel like coming over the bridge. When you met me the last time, it was because my friends wanted to come and eat here. I think they were more interested in the free meal. Now let’s not change the conversation. Are we going to forget about Puerto Rico?”

“There seems to be an ultimatum in there somewhere,” I said.

“Well, you haven’t called me and, even though we had a great time at the Seaport, you seem distant. Now I could wait and hope to see you again sometime or you can tell me to fuck off. I’m a big girl. I can take it. I thought what we had was special and I hope you thought the same, but only you can answer that. I’m never the pursuer in a relationship, yet I feel compelled to be with you. There, you have it; we are either going or we can thank God for the memories.” Brenda looked at me for a reply.

“Brenda, you are a beautiful woman, but…”

“Donald, fuck that shit.” Brenda got up. “I don’t need you.”

She slammed the napkin down on the table and walked out.

I remained seated. A few minutes went by before the waitress returned to my table.

“Do you still want your order?” she asked.

“Yeah, but let me have it to go,” I said.

“I’m getting off in an hour if you want some company,” she said, that “holler” smile on her face.

“No, I’ll take a rain check on that. But I could do with another Hurricane.”

“Well, this one is on me and my offer still stands.”

I reached out and grabbed her hand. “You don’t want any part of this.”

She squeezed my hand. “Yeah, I do. I’m sure you live a very interesting life. Look at you; not too many men are able to walk away from a woman as beautiful as Brenda. She has had men breaking down in tears over her, but you didn’t hear that from me.” She slipped her hand out of mine.

“Brenda is special,” I said.

“But so are you. I’ve got to go before I get fired. I’ll be back with your drink.”