Tell Me It's Real (31 page)

Oh, there goes the chance for the three-way. Maybe they’re a monogamous couple and Vince just sprung this on him out of the blue.
“Oh!” I said back loudly. “That’s… I don’t know what that is.”

“No, it’s fine,” he said, as if trying to reassure me there was a chance it could have been
not
fine. “I’m just surprised that Vince jumped into this so… quickly.”

“That’s what
I
told him.”

“It’s a good thing I don’t listen to either one of you,” Vince said happily. “God knows where I’d be then.”

I rolled my eyes right as Darren did, and I felt a strange kinship with him, at least for a second, that we could both be exasperated by Vince. Darren caught my eye for a moment and a small smile formed on his face. It was either genuine or calculating, and since I didn’t know him, I couldn’t tell which. The next words out of his mouth didn’t bode well for the latter. “Hey, Vince. Why don’t you go buy us a round of drinks. I’ll keep Paul company here.”

Don’t leave. Don’t leave. Don’t leave.

“Sure! Paul, what do you want?”

To not be left here with the Homo Jock King.
“SKYY vodka cranberry is fine. With a lime.”

“And I’ll have a beer,” Darren said, obviously way manlier than me. “No lime.”

Asshole.

“Be right back.” Vince leaned in and kissed me briefly, then took off through the crowd.

Darren and I sized each other up for a moment, and I realized only then just how big he was. Vince and I were almost the same height, but Darren had to have at least three inches on me. He was also very
wide
, built like a tree trunk. A very intimidating tree trunk with pale-blue eyes that were more shrewd than I cared for. He was all hard lines and planes, and I felt soft and squishy inside
and
out standing next to him.

He looked away for a moment to watch Helena perform a complicated series of kicks and twists, as if he knew her routine and when that part was coming up. Helena had worked months on getting it just right, and it was a sight to behold. His eyes softened a little bit as he watched, and I had this strange moment where I wondered if he liked what he was watching before the look disappeared and he turned back to me.

“So,” he said.

“So,” I replied.

“You and Vince, huh?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

He moved closer to me so we could hear each other above the music. I wanted to take a step back to keep space between us, but he wouldn’t allow it, crowding me near the wall. “I’ve never known Vince to have a boyfriend,” he said.

“Oh? That’s… cool.”
With the reception I’m getting from you, I wonder why.

“And then he disappears for a few days and comes back with bruises and the biggest grin on his face.”

“I’m not abusive,” I said stupidly.

He laughed, but he didn’t sound like he thought it was funny. “Didn’t say you were. Though I’d appreciate it if you didn’t hit him with your car again.”

“I
didn’t
—” It was no use. Forever I would be defined as
that
guy. “Fine. I won’t ever hit him with my car again. Next time I want to get his attention, I’ll ask him for it.”

“Vince isn’t smart,” he said suddenly. “Not like I am and not like I’m assuming you are.”

This caused unbidden fury to roil through me. “He’s perfectly smart,” I growled at him. “You better not be calling him an idiot.”

Darren seemed amused as he held up his hands to placate me. “I’m not,” he said. “I’m just saying… he doesn’t think like most people. He needs to have people watch out for him, otherwise he ends up getting hurt. He hasn’t had that a lot in his life.”

“And you’re saying you think I’m going to hurt him? No offense, but you don’t know me and I’d really like to tell you to go fuck yourself.”
And, um. I’d really like to take that back but I’m trying to be intimidating here. So, sorry. Didn’t really mean it.

“You’ve got some balls, don’t you?” I couldn’t tell if that impressed him or pissed him off.

“Last time I checked.”

“What do you want from him?”

This baffled me. “What? What are you talking about? I don’t want anything from him. He’s the one that came after
me
.”

“If you don’t want anything, then why are you here?”

This pissed me off even more. I was tired of getting questioned. I was tired of doubting myself. But you know what? Out of all of it, I was tired of having it sound like I wasn’t good enough, like I didn’t deserve to breathe the same air as the homo jock royalty, that I didn’t deserve to have Vince come after me like he did. I’d had enough.

“Look,” I said with a scowl. “You don’t know me. I sure as shit don’t know you. But I
do
know I don’t have to explain a goddamn thing to you. So you can stand there and look all badass and like a big, fat fucking jerk, but you’re not going to chase me away. I’m sorry if you want to fuck him, but you can’t because he’s
mine
. He picked
me,
and sure as shit, I’m not going to back down just because you’re having this little bitch fit of yours. Go bench press a llama, you fucking ’roid queen, and stop being an asshole.” I quickly reviewed my words and thought it went quite well (except for the llama thing. And the part where I insulted him. And the part where I sounded slightly douchey).

His eyes went comically wide. “Do you talk to Vince like that?” he asked.

“He was annoying for a little bit,” I admitted. “I thought he was trying to play a joke on me by asking me out so much.”

Darren shook his head. “Vince doesn’t do shit like that, Paul.”

“Well, I know that
now
.” And I did. For the most part.

“Look, I don’t think you understand. Vince doesn’t pursue
anyone
. Usually, it’s all these shitty fucking guys trying to get up on his nuts for a good fuck, then dropping him as soon as they’re done using him. He tries not to get his hopes up anytime someone new comes along, but he keeps getting shat on, and I fucking hate it. They like how he looks, they like how his body moves, but they don’t like it when he talks because of the dumb shit he says.”

“I like it when he talks,” I said. Which was weird, because I didn’t know when that started happening.

“Good, because you’re the first thing he’s been excited about for a long time,” Darren says. “And I have no problem telling you that if you fuck this up, I will break you in half.”

“Really?” I asked as I caught him glancing over at Helena again. “You do that and I won’t introduce you to a certain drag queen you seem to be eyeing.”

He stiffened. “Go fuck yourself,” he rumbled at me, not meeting my eyes.

Oh, Sandy’s going to shit himself silly.
“I don’t want to hurt him,” I said seriously. “I promise you that. But….”

“But what?”

I shook my head. “Never mind. It doesn’t matter.”

“Of course it matters. You wouldn’t have said it if it didn’t. Don’t be a dick, Paul. What is it?”

I hesitated. “You’ve known Vince a long time?”

He eyed me warily. “You could say that.”

I wanted to know what he meant, but didn’t ask. “You know his… parents?”

“Uh. You could say that.”

“I know who they are.”

He hung his head. “He said he hadn’t told you. That you hadn’t figured it out.”

“He didn’t. But I know.”

“You can’t be mad at him for that.”

“I’m not. I… will he tell me? When it happens? You know, with his mom?”

Darren watched me for a moment before answering, as if trying to gauge my sincerity and trying to choose his words before speaking. “He trusts you,” he finally said. “I don’t know how it happened or why it happened so fast, but he does. I think he will. He’s not going to let you think it’ll hurt him, but it will. Maybe not destroy him, because there’s too much bad shit between them. But it’s still going to hurt. He’s going to need you, I think. He’ll need me too, but I think you’re going to be the one he leans on. If you let him.”

“Okay.” I hoped he was right.

“Hey, Paul? You’re okay, you know that?” He was looking at me with something that bordered on respect. Homo jocks were so confusing. They were supposed to be pounding beers and twinks, not talking to me.

But he was right, so I nodded. “I am pretty awesome.”

He laughed, glancing over at the bar to check on Vince. His eyes hardened quickly and the smile slid from his face. I followed his line of sight and saw Vince up against the bar, drinks in front of him, another guy bent over near him to speak in his ear. I bristled immediately when I saw it was hottie Bear Dude from last weekend, the one that had been grinding up against Vince on the dance floor. Bear Dude was trying to get pretty chummy with Vince again, crowding up against him, his hand on Vince’s bicep, squeezing it tightly so that I could see the dimples in Vince’s skin. It was a possessive grip, and the man’s stance screamed
mine
. I tensed, not able to stop the flood of doubt washing over me.

“Wait,” Darren breathed next to me. “Just watch.”

I didn’t want to watch. I wanted to push my way through the bar and piss in a circle around Vince so that everyone else stayed the fuck away from him. My skin crawled a bit when Vince laughed at something Bear Dude said, and Bear Dude leaned back, smirking at him as if in victory. Bear Dude nodded his head toward the door, wanting Vince to leave with him. Vince shook his head and pointed back to where we stood and said something in return. This appeared to piss Bear Dude off because he frowned at Vince and tugged on his arm. Vince took a step back and shook his head again. Bear Dude turned and left.

Vince must have felt us watching him because he glanced over our way and saw us staring at him. His gaze immediately went to me, and he jerked his head in the direction Bear Dude had disappeared and rolled his eyes. Then he brought his hand up to the side of his head and made a pistol shape and committed fake suicide, blowing his imaginary brains out and collapsing on the top of the bar. Then he rose up and winked at me. He picked up our drinks and started moving out back to us. Through his little performance, not once had he looked guilty, like he’d been caught doing something wrong.

“He’s different,” Darren said near my ear. “He’s not like you or me, or anyone else for that matter.”

“His mime skills are obviously going to waste in the insurance industry,” I said, unable to think clearly.

Darren cuffed the back of my head as if he’d been doing it for years. “Don’t be a jerk,” he scolded me. “You know as well as I do that the thought of doing anything with that guy never even crossed his mind. He doesn’t think like that. Remember that, Paul. Remember that and he’ll give you everything.”

“Why haven’t you gone after him then, if he’s so great?” I asked, honestly curious.

Darren’s eyes went instantly dark. “That doesn’t matter,” he muttered and looked away.

But it did. In the end, it did.

I Am So Fucking Screwed (Figuratively And Literally)

W
E
DIDN
’
T
stay long at the bar. There was something odd building in the air around Vince and me, sort of like a strange static charge that caused the hairs on the back of my neck to stand on end and the palms of my hands to feel itchy. Vince kept shooting these hot little glances over at me, catching my eyes for longer and longer while I tried to maintain a conversation with Darren. I tried not to flush under his gaze, but it became more and more impossible as he watched me for longer periods of time.

And then the touching began.

At first it was nothing major. Just his hand at the base of my spine, his thumb pressing slightly to let me know it was there. A bit of brief pressure, the scrape of a thumbnail through the shirt I wore, and then it was gone.

The second time it happened, he waited until I started to take a drink of the cocktail he’d gotten for me. Again he put his hand on my lower back, but this time, he pointed his fingers down toward my ass, the angle of his arm slightly awkward. I felt the tip of his middle finger lift the hem of my shirt and graze against the skin of my back. I choked on my drink, cranberry juice dripping down my chin. I mumbled an apology as I used my arm to wipe my face. Vince dropped his hand, and I refused to look at him. Darren didn’t seem to notice.

And on it went. There would be a grip on my arm as Vince tugged me to the back patio, biting his fingers into my skin, part of me relishing the pressure, another part wanting it to stop immediately before I sprouted wood right then.

He would slide his hand down my arm when it became impossible to walk side by side, slipping fingertips along my forearm, my wrist, my palm until his fingers would catch mine, pressing our hands together as he led me through the crowd.

We reached the patio outside, and conversations were happening all around us, voices running together until they were just a wall of noise that I couldn’t separate into single words. Vince kept glancing back at me as he pushed his way through the crowd, a little smile on his face, his eyes narrowed with something I couldn’t quite place. I didn’t know where Darren had gone, only that he was no longer with us, and I didn’t know where Helena was, only that her show was over and the people around us moved and swayed and danced and writhed.

Vince found a dark little corner, near a set of stacked chairs, away from the crowd, away from the noise. It only took him a moment before he had me pressed up against the wall, putting his hands on either side of my head, standing so close that I could feel his breath on my face, but no part of his body touching mine. I tried to control my breathing so it wouldn’t seem like I was panting, but that was exactly what I was doing.

I opened my mouth to speak—to say what, I didn’t know—but it came out as a croak, a low noise that sounded as if I groaned. Vince quirked his lips, trying to become a smile, and I became fascinated by his lower lip, how full it looked, how it had tasted in my mouth, how plump it had felt as I rolled it between my teeth. His tongue came out, a flash of pink against a darker red, wetting his lips. I saw the hint of teeth, strong and white. He shifted his right hand slightly behind my head, scraping his fingers along the brick of the building, the sound like a roar in my ears.