Authors: Tessa Dayne
Darren watched her as she walked through the apartment, a frustrated look on her face as she looked at her surroundings. He knew she was trying to remember. She had gone through all her papers in her desk just an hour ago. He worried every hour, knowing that there was a possibility that she would remember everything.
“What did Darcy say about you going back to work?” he asked, hoping that talking about her job would distract her.
“I can start anytime I want, but I’m still missing those days in December. How can I do my job, and do it well, if I can’t remember parts of my life?”
Darren crossed the room, stopping in front of her. “Listen, it doesn’t matter if you remember. We can move on from this point, start our lives from right now.
“But I had a life! We had a life, didn’t we? If I don’t remember, where does that leave us?” Tears of frustration slid down her cheeks. She wanted to remember, dammit. She wanted her life back.
Darren wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. “It leaves us right here. Calm down, babe. Shh….calm down.”
Paige stiffened in his arms, the words he said washing over her. But they weren’t his words that she heard. They were Jonas’s.
~*~
Chapter
Twenty-One
~*~
March 15
Jonas walked through Grant Park, taking pictures of the people he saw there and the various statues and fountains. As he snapped photos, his mind wandered to Paige and the fact that he hadn’t seen her since she left the hospital.
He had listened to William’s advice and had given her time, but now he was wondering if that advice had been wise. He was giving Darren all this time alone with her and he knew that he would be doing everything in his power to win her back. What was he going to do, if he lost her? How could he live without her?
“That’s a beautiful sight, isn’t it?”
Jonas turned and found Paige standing behind him, staring up at the massive Doric columns from the demolished Chicago Federal Building and a wrought-iron pergola at the entrance to the Richard & Annette Bloch Cancer Survivors Garden.
“This garden was built to help people fight and recover from cancer. I come here when I want to think about my mother.”
“It’s a beautiful garden. I was just going in. Would you care to join me?” Jonas asked, hoping to spend a little bit of time with her.
They walked through the columns and under the metal arch, neither speaking, just taking in the quite serenity the gardens offered. As they headed down the walkway, the huge planters on one side of them, benches on the other, Paige began to talk quietly.
“There are twenty-four of these gardens throughout the United States. One day, I am going to see them all.”
“Paige…”
Paige stopped, turned to look at him and smiled weakly. “I’m sorry I haven’t seen you before now.”
Jonas shrugged. He knew it was hard for her. She still hadn’t remembered everything, at least as far as he knew she hadn’t. “I understand. How are you?”
“I am still trying to piece things back together. I have remembered fragments, but not enough to have everything back. It’s frustrating, you know? I mean, there have been things, memories, that I know have nothing to do with Darren. And yet, I can’t seem to fix those feelings to anything substantial.”
She eased down onto the bench and leaned back, crossing her arms over her chest. When he joined her, she turned to him and reached for his hands.
“Can’t you tell me anything about what happened between us? I know there’s something. I can tell every time your name comes up, that Darren is upset about something. But he says that you were just someone I met at Sara’s wedding. I don’t believe him. There has to be something more to it.”
“Paige, I want to tell you…I do. But the doctor said you needed to remember on your own.”
Paige threw her hands up in the air and huffed out a frustrated breath of air. “To hell with the doctor! I need to put my life back together. And something tells me that you are a part of the mystery my life has become to me. Why won’t you tell me?”
“I want you to be sure of what you want. If I tell you what I want you to hear, what I want you to remember, how will I know that it is what you truly feel and not what I have planted in your sub-conscious? What if by some off chance that when you remember for yourself, that it’s not the same as how I remember things? Where would we be then?”
Paige closed her eyes and sighed. “Dammit! I guess you’re right. But this is so frustrating. I want to remember…”
“I know you do, but you need to stop, Paige. Don’t overthink this…just feel…”
Paige felt his hand cup her cheek, his fingers sliding into her hair. Slowly, he eased his tongue between his lips, stroking her bottom lip until she opened her mouth to him. The kiss was sensual and full of promises for the future. Paige wanted to put her faith in him, in them, in the promises that his kiss held. When Jonas kissed her like this, it was all so easy to believe.
Paige opened her eyes and stared at him. “What did you say?”
“What? I said not to overthink everything…to just feel…you will remember.”
“I think you have said something like this to me once before. I remember you kissing me.”
Jonas leaned over and touched her lips with his gently. “Kissed you like this?” he asked. “Or like this?” he questioned, kissing her again, only this time more deeply, with a sense of urgency, leaving her breathless.
Paige pushed at his chest, her breathing heavy. “I…I have to go…” she said, jumping up from the bench.
Jonas reached for her hand, curling his fingers around hers. “I’m not sorry I kissed you…,” he said softly.
Paige looked down at their hands and smiled. “I’m not sorry I kissed you back.”
She pulled her hand from his, leaving him to watch as she walked away. Slowly, Jonas leaned back, his eyes on her back as she left the gardens and a smile on his lips. She didn’t regret their kiss and maybe, just maybe, it would give her something to think about.
~*~
Paige wandered Grant Park, finally finding herself at Buckingham Fountain. Being the middle of March, the fountain was not in operation, but Paige could remember coming here when the water show would fascinate hundreds of people every hour. She knew that Jonas would enjoy something like this, if he hadn’t already seen it. The center jet would shoot water a hundred and fifty feet into the air and at night, lights and music would accompany the spectacular water show.
Sighing, Paige continued her walk. She was supposed to meet her father back at her apartment. He wanted her to come and stay with him for a few days. After the memories that have been assaulting her senses, she felt she needed the time away from Darren. She had been remembering, but couldn’t seem to associate any one memory to either Darren or Jonas.
The one thing she knew for sure, knowing that Darren had lied about replacing the wine glasses had her doubting the things he told her. She had remembered throwing the wine glass, breaking it against the wall. She just couldn’t remember why she had thrown it in the first place. For him to tell her she dropped it and when it broke, they replaced the set, well, it made no sense. Why would he lie to her?
All her artwork being packed and stored bothered her too. Why would she agree to have Darren’s paintings in the apartment? She could understand asking him for a few to go to the office, but her apartment was her refuge. She never brought anyone that could help his career to her home. At the office, any one of her clients could see his work.
Paige exited the park and approached the intersection. Stopping at the corner, she waited until the signal changed so she could cross the street. She had just stepped into the crosswalk, when a car, its horn blaring, flew by her, nearly hitting her. Her heart hammering in her chest, she jumped back, stumbling on the curb.
“Oh my! Dear, are you alright?” an old woman asked her, noticing that she was trembling.
Paige looked at her, a blank look on her face. She was not focusing on the incident that had just happened. She was flashing on another accident, with snow on the ground and icy conditions. A horn had blared then, just as it had now.
Feeling strong fingers tighten around her arm, she glanced up and found Jonas, concern written on his face.
“Paige? You’re shaking like a leaf. Are you okay?”
“That car ran a red light,” the old woman said, shaking her head. “People are just in too big of a hurry these days,” she muttered, moving on.
“Paige…are you hurt?”
Paige looked up at him, shaking her head. “No…I’m not hurt. I…” she began, looking around. “I remembered the night of the accident. It was cold and snowing. The roads were icy. The car slid through the intersection…”
“Paige, c’mon, let’s get you inside.”
Jonas led her across the street and into her building. They rode up the elevator and stepped into the hallway, where they met her father.
“William…help me get her inside,” Jonas said, indicating the door.
“She’s shaking like a leaf,” William said, opening the front door.
“She just had a near accident down on the street. A car ran a red light, nearly hitting her. It caused her to remember the night of the accident.”
William took Paige by the arm and led her to the couch while Jonas went into the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water. He returned to the living room and pressed it into her shaky hand.
“Drink,” he said softly. “What do you remember?”
William glanced sharply at Jonas, wanting to tell him not to press matters. Paige had been through enough, did she really have to relive the accident?
“I just remember how cold it was. The headlights blinded me and then nothing.”
“You don’t remember anything before the accident, like why you were out in the street?” Jonas asked, hoping for the breakthrough they all had been waiting for.
William took the glass from Paige’s unsteady hand and shot Jonas a warning look. “It’s okay, Paige. Let’s get you packed.”
Jonas watched silently as Paige headed into her bedroom to pack a bag. She was still unsteady on her feet and he wanted to rush to her, but he resisted.
“Stop pushing her, son. She’s starting to remember and it’s only a matter of time before all the missing pieces have been revealed.”
“It is so hard, knowing that she is so close to remembering everything,” Jonas said, easing into a chair.