Temptation: A Novel (20 page)

59. Madly Crazy

I think Lily is just trying to look hot to get looks from everybody at the party and laugh about it. Which is fine by me because she’s by my side the entire time and doesn’t seem to mind being there. I’ve become one of those guys I can’t stand, the one always hovering next to his “lady,” the one looking at others looking at his girl. The “stupid guy with the hot girl.”

Part of me doesn’t even know yet if we’re together. I mean, we are—she likes me, and I want to run off to Mexico with her. So yeah, that’s together, right?

I guess I don’t need a ring or anything.

The party is at a house in Hendersonville. I guess this guy used to go to Harrington and then got kicked out. Makes me wonder what he did. His parents moved to Hendersonville, and the big question is whether or not he ever finished high school.

Doesn’t matter, because half the students at this party are from Harrington. The drinking isn’t as obvious as the last party I went to, but I can still tell that kids are drinking or doing other stuff. I’m fine just being here with Lily. That’s enough for me.

I’m having a great time laughing and not thinking about anything. No distant ancient relative with a lisp is anywhere in sight. Nor is a pastor or a near-dead person on the street.

Just some teenagers and some college-aged kids. That’s all.

Just people like the tall, leggy blonde walking around in a short skirt.

Wait a minute.

That’s not Lily I’m talking about.

No—Lily’s wearing jeans with a pretty revealing top.

No—this is—

Leaving me speechless.

“Hello, Chris,” Kelsey says.

Or the woman who possessed that cute girl I got to know in art class.

“How’s it going?” she asks.

Wonderful, come to think of it.

“Good,” I manage to get out.

“Good,” she says.

Her hair seems a little more—messy perhaps? No glasses, the outfit, the attitude, that smile, and something else.

“You—you don’t have your braces?”

She keeps smiling, proud of her teeth that have finally been set free. “I know. About time.”

“You’re
so
not going to believe this,” Lily says, interrupting us and grabbing my arm before she sees Kelsey. “Oh, hi, sorry.”

“No, it’s fine.”

The formerly confident face suddenly breaks out in a full-on blush.

Just like something I’d do.

And Kelsey seems to know it, too, because she puts a hand up by her cheek to shield it. But her whole face is red.

“Well, aren’t you a cutie,” Lily says, making me smile. “What’s your name?”

“Kelsey. I go to Harrington. We’re in English.”

“Yeah! That’s right. I thought I’d seen you. I love the dress. Where’d you get it?”

It’s great to watch this, because Lily isn’t being nice just to be nice. They start talking like girls, and I zone out.

Everybody is watching us.

That’s right, keep looking. I’d be looking too, but nope, I’m right here, that’s right. These are my ladies and

“Hello, space boy, come back home,” Lily says.

“What?”

“Kelsey said you guys went to prom last year.”

I nod, wondering where I’d gone and how they had this conversation while I was in my happy place. “Yeah.”

I'm surprised Kelsey said this since we didn't technically go with each other.

Are you?

“You two make a cute couple,” Lily says.

We do?

As if to make sure that Lily’s point isn’t thought about anymore, Kelsey looks across the room and waves. “Excuse me—I gotta go.”

“Who’s that?” Lily says.

“Todd,” Kelsey says. “He goes to UNC-Asheville.”

“Older boy. Good for you.”

Kelsey leaves, and Lily stands there watching her. “You didn’t tell me about her.”

“What’s there to tell?”

Lily rolls her eyes.

“What?”

“I’ve seen her this week.”

“Yeah?” I ask.

“She didn’t look like that.”

“Well, she’s got a hot date.”

Lily looks over at Kelsey and Todd and then nods as if unconvinced.

“What?” I say.

“I don’t think she wore that for Todd
.
Who, by the way, doesn’t even look like he’s into chicks.”

“So then who’d she wear it for?”

Lily smiles, then gently touches my cheek. “See—that is why I’m falling madly crazy in love with you.”

She laughs and then makes me come with her to talk to some other kids.

I don’t believe that she’s “falling madly crazy in love” with me, but still.

I mean—she could, right?

It’s not the craziest thought, is it?

This whole place is full of crazy, so why can’t I be a part of that craziness?

60. Losing My Mind

The bathroom downstairs has a long line, and Lily suggests I go upstairs, saying she asked the kid who’s hosting and he said why not. I tell her that he might say something different if I asked him, and Lily tells me he can get over it.

I love her fire. I guess looks can do that, give you an inner strength.

Yeah, but she was born strong, and looks didn’t have anything to do with it.

I head up the stairs and get to the top and suddenly feel something.

A cold. A cold like I just stepped into a walk-in cooler.

This isn’t good.

Any time the temperature just changes—that’s not good. That’s like the couple in the woods, about ready to go skinny-dipping, hearing something. That can’t ever be good. That’s the sign—you
know
it’s a sign—to bail.

But I have to go to the bathroom, so I try and not think about how cold it became. Maybe the air is on up here.

I open the first door I come to, thinking it’s the bathroom.

But it’s a bedroom. A kid’s bedroom, with a lot of pink all around. I’m guessing a girl’s bedroom.

I hear someone crying.

Leave now Chris just leave.

It’s a soft whimpering sound.

The air is still cold. I can tell my arms have bumps all over them from the temperature change. A small lamp on a dresser is lit, but I can’t see anybody.

“Hello?”

The crying continues.

The sound is coming from a closet behind two folding doors.

I open them up and see a little girl hiding there, her arms clutching a big bear, her face buried in its soft white fur.

“Hey—what’s wrong—are you okay?”

Then the girl looks up at me and I don’t actually believe what I’m seeing.

Her face is all bruised and swollen. Not bloody, but rather literally black and blue.

I back up in fright.

One of her eyes is so swollen it can barely see me. Her lips are cracked and cut up. Her jaw seems swollen as well.

She has to be—I don’t know—five or six years old.

I reach out to touch her

’cause maybe deep down I don’t believe what I’m seeing it’s just like that guy in the alleyway

but as I do she jerks back in terror and howls in pain, as if I’m doing something to her.

“No, no—it’s okay. Really. I’m not going to hurt you.”

But she buries her smashed-up little face back in her teddy bear and continues to cry.

I feel sick to my stomach, wondering who could have done something like this to her. I leave her in the closet and hurry away to find someone, anyone, to help this poor girl out.

I’m downstairs and then I spot Lily.

I think of what happened at the police station.

“What’s wrong?” she says.

I’m not sure what to tell her.

Don’t Chris don’t tell her.

“What’s going on?” she asks.

“Can you do me a favor?”

“Yeah, what?”

I ask her to go to the first bedroom at the top of the stairs and tell me what she sees. Surely she will find the little girl and freak out and find the owners of the house.

Lily appears curious, but she does what I ask. Minutes later she comes back down.

Her expression tells me that she didn’t find any little girl crying.

“So?” Lily asks.

“What was in there?”

“Just a bunch of boxes. A desk that’s not being used. Why—what’d you see in there?”

My head is hurting, and I have no desire to stick around.

“Chris?” Lily asks.

“Would you mind if we took off?”

“Why? What’s going on?”

“You can stay if you want.”

She just gives me a look that makes me feel stupid.

“What?”

“Yeah, I want to stay here because this party is so rocking,” she says.

“I’m just saying.”

“What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing.”

“What did you see upstairs?”

“Nothing.”

She’s not buying it, but she doesn’t press me.

“Okay, fine. Come on.”

I follow her out. But before I leave, I spot Kelsey one final time. She looks over at me and gives me a friendly smile. I haven’t seen it in a long time. No matter how adult and different she might look, she still has that sweet and friendly face.

It’s quite the opposite of the sweet but beat-up face I saw upstairs in the closet.

And even though I’m not going to tell Lily this, I
know
I saw it. I’m not losing my mind.

If I lost my mind I did so months ago.

61. The Sex Chapter

I don’t want to just drop her off and go back home.

No way.

I feel Lily holding on to me as I ride my bike, believing that this machine is maybe the best thing to have ever happened to me. I refuse to let her just go away into the night. I want to stay with her. I want to do things other kids our age are doing. I want to—finally—just give in and get it over with so I don’t have to be thinking about it all the time.

But when I get to the familiar bed-and-breakfast where Lily stays, I see a man waiting by a car. She curses. It seems like he’s waiting for her.

“What?”

“Nothing—I need to go.”

“No.”

She gets off the bike and stands, brushing back her hair. “Yes, Chris.”

“I don’t want to leave you.”

“Well, you’re going to have to.”

“Who is that guy?”

“Nobody.”

But he definitely looks like somebody. Everything about her has changed.

“I’ll go ask him myself,” I say.

“Chris—that’s my father.”

I can barely make out the guy—he’s about my height, pretty solid build, still has his hair, which looks dark. The guy doesn’t seem
that
old.

“Please, Chris.”

I’m so tired of dropping her off and letting her go. So tired of seeing Lily and smelling Lily and then sending Lily home.

Half of me wants to go up to the man and introduce myself.

Hi, my name is Chris, and I want to marry your daughter.

But I realize that marriage isn’t the thing weighing on my mind right now.

I’m sorry, but my name is Chris and I just want your daughter.

Lily leans over and kisses me on the cheek. “Thank you, Chris.”

“Are you going to be okay?”

She glances at her father, who’s still just resting against the car. “No. But that’s okay.”

“I can wait.”

“No. I’ll—I’ll contact you later.”

Soon I’m back on the road, driving in darkness, the beam of light looking as lonely as I feel.

No, it’s not lonely. It’s hungry.

When I get home—

Do I even need to say it?

Repeat track “Home Alone” over and over again. It’s a long track on the album
Cabin Fever.

I check the fridge but don’t see anything worth eating. I turn on the TV but don’t see anything worth watching. I keep checking my phone, even though it’s only been fifteen minutes—now twenty—now thirty—since I saw Lily.

I go upstairs feeling restless, just like always.

I really had some strange feeling that it might happen tonight.

And that’s weird because it’s not like I’ve ever done it. Not officially, technically, all that. Trish and I were a thing back in Illinois, going out then not going out, changing status on Facebook (well, she changed hers—I think it’s stupid even having a status to change). And the subject came up, but Trish was scared. She said she felt like it wasn’t right to do before marriage, and I remember laughing, wondering who even said stuff like that. Then she said most of all she was scared.

We got close. But that was it.

Then I moved.

Then came this dark-haired beauty named Jocelyn, and there was that one time—but that was different. Everything was different with Jocelyn.

Everything’s been different since coming to this hole in the world called Solitary.

I sigh, because I don’t want to think of Jocelyn. I don’t want to wonder if she’s up there in the clouds watching me wanting to have sex with Lily. I’m seventeen, eighteen soon enough, and I can’t really say I’m saving myself for marriage. Mom sure would like me to and Dad has told me that’s the right thing to do.

But they’re not here.

Then again, nobody else is here either.

I wait to hear from Lily.

And I keep waiting.

And I keep waiting.