Tempting Sydney (13 page)

Her eyes lit up and she made a beeline for the kitchen.

I smoothed my hair, taking the time to
really
look at Jax and caught my breath. Jeans and a dark blue crew neck sweater never looked so good. His shirt was tucked into the front of his pants, a square, metal belt buckle holding up his jeans. I kind of hated that buckle. His eyes met mine, and held. I smiled. His lips lifted in return as I made my way across the room.

“Hey,” I said, moving my hand in the direction of both men. “Charlie, this is my friend, Jax. Jax, this is my friend and the executive director of CARE, Charlie.”

Jax nodded, and tilted his head toward Charlie in acknowledgment. “He introduced himself when I got here.”

“How did you two meet each other?” Charlie asked, looking from Jax to me.

“He rescued me one night when She-Ra died. He works at Red’s.”

Charlie eyed him with interest. “I bet it’s nice for Syd to have a mechanic around.”

Jax lifted his shoulders slightly, almost uncomfortably, and changed the subject. “Ready to go?”

“Yep.” I grabbed my coat and purse. “I’ll pick She-Ra up later tonight if that’s okay, Charlie?”

“No problem,” he answered. “Have fun.”

I followed Jax outside to his truck. This was the first time I’d gotten a look at it when I wasn’t drugged. It was a metallic grey Ford with chrome accents.

He opened the door for me and pointed to the running board that I could use as a step. Once we were both settled, he turned out of the CARE parking lot and started driving.

“So, where are we going?” I was so curious about the date and what he had planned. I’d spent far too much time the previous week marinating over it, and my homework had suffered as a result. I just couldn’t decide where a man like Jax would take a woman on a date. He was a mystery.

Jax grinned in response.

“Seriously? You’re not going to tell me? Not even a hint?”

The corner of his lip ticked up even more. He shifted in his seat, his left leg falling open, relaxed, his body angled toward mine. “You lied to Charlie.”

“What?” My brow pinched in confusion as I noted that we were now headed up into the mountains.

“About how we met. Your car was the second time I saw you. The first time was at the Soup and Spoon.” He draped his arm over the steering wheel and glanced at me, eyes alight. “I guess you forgot.”

Oh, I was
well
aware of that particular memory. The smirk Jax was sporting indicated he knew I hadn’t forgotten, either. “It doesn’t count as
meeting
when we didn’t even speak.”

One eyebrow went up at that. “Communication is more than just words. I thought we said plenty.”

So had I. My heart sped up as I remembered it in detail: his eyes, his biceps, his dare to approach him. “Why didn’t you come over and talk to me that day?” I asked.

“Why didn’t you talk to me?” he countered. “I extended the invitation.”

I folded my arms across my chest. “With your eyes. Eye invitations are hard to read.” Really, it hadn’t been. I knew exactly what he was saying, and it involved a lot less clothing than either of us had been wearing at the time.

“You missed out.”

Arrogant. “So did you!” I argued back. “What if you’d never seen me again?”

“That wouldn’t have happened.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because I would have found you.”

That was a little creepy. “Like a serial killer, huh? That’s your get-laid strategy?”

“No, like the guy who protects the girl from the serial killer.”

I nodded, wondering if he thought that kind of alpha-male assholery was attractive.

Okay.

So it was.

It really, really was.

Some primitive part of my psyche found the protectiveness insanely appealing. It was probably also the part of my psyche that thought Ragnar Lothbrok from
Vikings
was the sexiest man on the planet, and made me wish I’d been a hot Viking’s wife.

“How did you get involved with CARE?” Jax asked.

I relaxed against the seat. “My mom was sick for a while. Cancer. We stayed at CARE while she was being treated. I loved the staff, and everything they did meant so much to me and my dad.” I paused, remembering how hard it was to see my mom so helpless. Even now, just the thought of going to the doctor gave me a mini panic attack. But things would have been a lot worse if we hadn’t had the support of the CARE staff to help us through it all. Having other people who were going through similar problems really helped us deal with everything that was going on. And I think it helped my mom to know we had that kind of support network, too. “I wanted to be able to help people, like my family had been helped, so I decided to volunteer.”

Jax was quiet for a minute. “How old were you?”

“She was diagnosed when I was nine.”

“And now?”

“She’s fine. I mean, she still goes in for check-ups, but they caught it early enough that she was okay. She got treatment and then things went back to normal, and we went back to moving around. I grew to love Winchester while we were here, though, and decided to come back for college.”

He nodded, taking it all in. I always felt weird telling people about my mom; it felt like they didn’t know how to react. Jax didn’t seem uncomfortable with the information, he was just quiet. “Where do your parents live now?” he asked.

“Southern Florida. My dad’s retired, but you won’t convince him of that. He keeps taking on work here and there. He gets bored easily. My mom used to be a project manager at an insurance company, but she’s retired, too.”

That was more personal information than I’d ever given Jax…and the first time he’d ever asked. I took it as a good sign that he wanted to know more about me.

I looked out the windows and noticed the brilliantly colored leaves. Vibrant shades of crimson, gold, orange, and pink blanketed the landscape. I loved this time of year. A memory clicked in my head as I thought it. I remembered saying something along those same lines to Jax a few weeks ago when he’d been helping me clean gas off my car—before the bottle ejaculated on him. Did he remember me telling him that? Naw, guys weren’t that perceptive, at least not the ones I’d been with in the past. Jax was different than other guys in a lot of ways, though, so maybe he was different when it came to being attentive, too? “Did you bring me up here to see the leaves?” I practically blurted it out, and felt like a complete fool for it.

He looked over at me, his eyes bright. “Maybe.”

I stared at him. He shifted his eyes back to the winding mountain road, so I had time to study him. I couldn’t figure him out. At all. “What’s your deal?” I finally asked.

“What do you mean?”

We really hadn’t spent that much time together, and for the life of me, I couldn’t figure out what his interest in me was, or why he’d asked me out on a date. I mean, my interest in him involved a vision of him mostly naked in his apartment, and a lot of muscles I couldn’t pronounce correctly, but why would he want me when he could walk into a room and pretty much hand-pick any girl there? And it wasn’t like that information was a secret. He was absolutely aware of his effect on women. “You’re spending a lot of your free time with me, and now you’re doing thoughtful things like taking me on a drive in the canyon because I mentioned I like the fall colors. Plus, you asked me out. With anyone else, I’d say they were interested in something more—like a relationship. But you don’t do relationships.”

“Maybe I’m taking you on a drive because I like the fall colors and wanted company?”

Oh. Now I felt super stupid. I stared out the window, noticing the trees, but not focused on them like I was before. He’d said this was a date, though, hadn’t he? So why was he suddenly acting like it wasn’t? Jax was so guarded with his feelings, it was hard to get a read on him. But I’d spent enough time with him now to know he used statements like that as some sort of defense mechanism so people couldn’t go too deep. I wasn’t going to let him get away with it. Especially not after I’d just shared something really personal about my own life.

I turned toward him, ready for a chat. “You might have wanted to see the fall colors, but that’s not why we’re here. You just don’t want to admit you thought of me and made an effort to do something you thought I’d enjoy.”

The muscles at his jaw pulsed. Finally, he said, “Maybe.”

And that’s all I got. I sat in the passenger seat getting more and more annoyed. When we got to the end of the road, he parked. We got out and climbed a hill overlooking the valley. I took a deep breath of the crisp mountain air and closed my eyes, then opened them again, like seeing the scene for the first time. The mountains made a beautiful backdrop for the gorgeous autumn colors painting them. I pulled out my phone and snapped a few pics of the scenery, then eased down next to Jax on a large rock.

We sat in silence, looking out over the area, but my mind was racing with thoughts about what had happened in the truck, and the way he’d deflected me. I had fun with Jax. He was a good friend, and he was the definition of man-candy, but true friendship requires a level of intimacy that goes beyond making jokes. And relationships require even more than that. He said he didn’t want one, but I wasn’t sure he really knew what he wanted at all. I knew what I wanted, though. I wanted to get to know him. The real him—not the mysterious, reserved version he put out there for the rest of the world. What was he hiding? And why wouldn’t he open up?

I turned to him, unable to hold my feelings in any longer. “Look, Jax. I like you. You’re funny, you’re smart, you force me out of my comfort zone, and I really like hanging out with you.”

“Thanks!” he said, leaning back against the rock and resting his hands behind his head as he looked up at me. He gave me a wide grin. “I know.”

I narrowed my eyes. That. It was
that
attitude that needed to go—or at least be tempered by some honesty and real moments. “But you’re also hard to read because you refuse to let anyone in. You can have friendships and relationships like that, but they’re surface relationships—and they don’t last. Not to mention, it’s a pretty lonely place to be. Who do you confide in if you have no one you trust enough to be real with?”

He looked away. “I get through things fine on my own.”

I shook my head. “No one does. Everyone needs a constant. Someone who’s always there for them. Someone to count on.” I paused. “If you want this friendship to go deeper and mean something, you have to let me in. If you don’t, we’ll stay just the way we are.”

He didn’t say anything for a long time. “I don’t mind the way we are.” He paused before adding, “I mean, I wouldn’t argue if you wanted to lose some clothes, but other than that, I think things are good.”
He was doing it again: using jokes to deflect away from the real issue so he wouldn’t have to deal with deeper emotions. I shook my head and laughed in disbelief as I stood. “Well, I tried. Surface it is, then.”

His brows knit together like he was trying to figure something out.

As I started to walk away, I looked over my shoulder and shot back, “But just so you know, surface doesn’t help
this
—“ I gestured between me and him, “—move forward. And it definitely won’t get my clothes off.”

I took off back down the mountain, enjoying the beauty around me by myself.

“Where’s Brynn tonight?”

I sighed. I’d hoped we’d make it back to CARE without talking since we didn’t seem to be too great at words today. I was wrong. We pulled into the parking lot and Jax parked next to She-Ra as I answered, “She’s at a party. Why?”

He ignored my question. “Where’s this party supposed to be at?”

“One of the frats.”

He leaned back, watching me closely. “You’re both in grad school. Why is she still going to frat parties?”

I shrugged. “We just finished undergrad in May. We still have friends at the frats.”

“You don’t strike me as the frat party type. In fact, I’d have guessed you’d be home studying most nights.”

I was totally bugged he’d pegged me like that. That was the old Syd. “Guess you thought wrong.”

He folded his arms across his chest. “I didn’t.”

I wrinkled my nose. Annoyed again. “Fine. Brynn likes going to frat parties, and I don’t like her going alone so I usually tag along—just like when I follow her to bars. Some of them aren’t bad, though. Almost everyone there is always super drunk or stoned, so that’s pretty entertaining. We know most of the guys and have friends there, so it’s safer than going to a bar and hanging out with random guys. And since I’m always the designated driver, I’m one of the only people at the party who can remember what happened after it’s all over, so that gives me good blackmail material.” I paused, making a decision. “Plus, some of the guys are hot.”

His amused expression slipped ever so slightly. His mouth formed a thin line, and a vein pulsed at his temple. I’d said the “hot” comment on purpose—not because it was the truth, but because I wanted to see his reaction. I turned away, trying to hide my own feelings. He was bothered by me looking at other guys. And I liked that it bothered him. A lot.