Tender Stranger (15 page)

He laughed softly, delightedly. “He kicks,” he whispered. “No more bird flutters.”

“He’s very strong, the doctor says,” she whispered back.

He lifted his head and looked at her, at the tiny line of freckles over her nose. Sometime in the last feverish few minutes her glasses had been removed. He glanced around and saw them on the coffee table and smiled.

“I’d forgotten where we were.” He sighed, kissing her again. His hands slid up her sides, and his thumbs moved over her breasts, feeling their swollen softness. “Will you let me watch you nurse him?” he asked lazily, and laughed when she blushed. “Will you?”

“Yes,” she said, and buried her red face against his throat.

He kissed her forehead, her closed eyes. “Dani, is it gentle explosions for you, the way it is for me?” he asked hesitantly. “Do you feel what the French call the little death when the moment comes?”

Her breath caught. “Yes,” she whispered. She clung to him. “I didn’t know…”

“It was never like that for me,” he told her softly, and his arms slid further around her. “Never, with anyone, the way it is with you.” He shuddered.

Yes, but it was only physical, she thought miserably, and closed her eyes. Still, it was better than nothing. She smoothed the hair at his nape. It was a start.

* * *

They went to Chicago on Monday, after Dutch had taken time to call Dr. Carter to make sure it was safe for Dani to make the trip. He watched her closely, with narrowed dark eyes, every step she took. It was almost amusing, the care he was taking of her. Amusing…and very flattering. Perhaps he was growing fond of her, at least.

He hadn’t loved her again. Afterward, he’d been protective and gentle, but he hadn’t touched her as a lover. She wondered why, but she didn’t provoke him by asking. She’d long since decided to take one day at a time, to accept what he could give without asking for more. Somehow she’d learn to live with him. Because she couldn’t leave him now.

Chapter Nine

D
ani wasn’t sure what she’d expected Dutch’s friends to look like. But when she was introduced to J.D. and Gabby Brettman and Apollo Blain, her face must have given her away.

“Yep—” Apollo nodded as he shook her shyly outstretched hand “—I told you, J.D., she expected us to look like the cover of
Soldier of Fortune
magazine.”

Dani blushed and burst out laughing. “Well, I’ve never seen professional mercenaries before,” she explained. “Anyway, at least I didn’t come in looking for camouflage netting, did I?” she asked reasonably.

Apollo chuckled. “Nope, little mama, I guess not.”

She lowered her eyes with a self-conscious smile, feeling Dutch’s arm come around her shoulders.

“Animals.” Gabby glared at the men. “Shame on you.”

“Well, we’re curious,” J.D. said defensively. He studied Dani through eyes as dark as Dutch’s. All three men were wearing lightweight suits, and Gabby was in a green-patterned dress. Dani felt as though she stood out like a sort thumb in her maternity garb.

“Of course we are,” Apollo seconded. “After all, it took some kind of woman to catch Dutch, didn’t it?”

“I won’t argue with that.” Gabby grinned. “Come on, Dani, you can help me in the kitchen while these three talk shop.”

“I think I’d better,” Dani confided, throwing an impish smile at Dutch. “At least I know a potato from a head of lettuce, even if I don’t know an AK-47 from an Uzi.”

Dutch smiled at her, possession in his whole look.

She followed Gabby into the kitchen. “What can I do?” Dani asked helpfully.

“You can tell me how you did it!” Gabby burst out delightedly, smiling from a radiant face. “Dutch, married! Honestly, J.D. and I almost fainted!”

“It’s a long story,” Dani murmured dryly, sensing a comrade in Gabby. She sat down at the kitchen table. “It isn’t love, though, you know,” she added quietly.

Gabby studied her. “For you it is. Yes, it shows. Are you happy with him?”

“As happy as I can expect to be,” Dani said. “I can’t hope to hold him, of course. He’s very protective, and he wants the baby. But it isn’t in him to love.”

Gabby poured two cups of coffee, checked the timer on her microwave and sat back down. She pushed a mug of black coffee toward Dani and offered the cream and sugar.

“You know about Melissa?” she asked after a minute.

Dani knew instinctively whom she meant. “The woman from his past?”

Gabby nodded. “I wouldn’t know, but Dutch was badly wounded once, and he blurted out the whole story to J.R. Dutch doesn’t know,” she added, lifting her eyes to Dani’s. “J.D. didn’t let on. But that woman…!”

“He told me all of it,” Dani said quietly, sipping her coffee. “He was devastated when he found out I was pregnant.”

“Did you know what he did for a living when you married him?” Gabby asked.

Dani smiled ruefully and shook her head. “I found out when the airplane we were coming home on was hijacked.”

Gabby forced air through her lips. “What an interesting way to find out.”

“Yes.” She lowered her eyes to her cup. “He thought we could make a go of it, each leading our own lives. I didn’t. I walked off and left him.” She sighed. “Several weeks later I learned that I was pregnant. He came back…” She laughed. “We’ve been going around and around ever since.”

“I remember the first time I ever heard of Dutch,” Gabby recalled. “J.D.’s sister Martina had been captured by terrorists and we went to Italy to see about the ransom. Dutch was J.D.’s go-between.” She looked up. “J.D. wouldn’t even introduce me to him. He said Dutch hated women.”

“He told me so,” Dani said, smiling. “When did you get to meet him?”

“At the wedding, when I married J.D. He wasn’t at all what I expected. At first I was a little nervous around him,” Gabby said. “Then I got to know him—as well as he lets outsiders know him.” She held Dani’s curious eyes. “He talked to me about you when he was here before. He wanted to know how I’d feel if I were pregnant and J.D. couldn’t give up the old life. I cried.”

Dani drew in a shaky breath. “I’ve done my share of crying. I don’t know what to do. I don’t feel that I have the right to ask him to change his life for me. But I can’t live with what he does.” Her eyes were wide with fear and love. “I’m crazy about him. I’d die if anything happened to him.”

“That’s how I feel about J.D.,” Gabby said quietly. “I envy you that baby,” she added with a sad smile. “J.D. and I have tried…” Her thin shoulders rose and fell. “I can’t seem to get pregnant.”

“I had a girlfriend who couldn’t get pregnant at first,” Dani said, recalling an old friend from years past. She grinned. “Five years after she got married she had triplets, followed by twins the next year.”

Gabby burst out laughing. “What a delightful prospect!”

“What’s all the noise in here?” J.D. asked, opening the kitchen door. “Are we eating tonight?” he asked Gabby.

She got up and kissed him tauntingly on his hard mouth. “Yes, we’re eating tonight, bottomless pit. And we’re laughing about triplets.”

His eyes widened. “What?”

“Tell you later. Let’s eat!”

It was late when Dani and Dutch got back to his elegant lakeside apartment. She hadn’t expected such luxury, and it emphasized once again the difference between her lifestyle and his. During dinner the conversation had inevitably gone back to old times and comrades whose names Dani didn’t recognize. And then mention was made of the new job Apollo had offered Dutch, and Dani listened with wide eyes as it was outlined. It wasn’t as dangerous as what he was doing now, of course, she reminded herself. There wasn’t half the risk. She’d have to get used to it. She could, too, if she tried.

“I don’t think I can manage a desk job,” he told her as if he sensed her deep, frightening thoughts.

She turned from the window, where she was watching the lights of cars far below, and the city lights near the river. “Yes, I know that.”

He looked at her for a long time, hands in his pockets, eyes narrow and dark and searching. “But I’m going to try.”

She nodded. “I won’t ask you for anything more than that,” she said then. “I’ll settle for whatever you can give me. I…have very little pride left.” She sighed and she seemed to age. “I’d like to go to bed now, Eric. I’m so tired.”

“It’s been a long day. You can have whichever bedroom you like.”

She looked at him across the room, started to speak, and then smiled faintly and walked down the hall.

“Dani…”

She didn’t turn. “Yes?”

There was a long, trembling silence. “My room is the first door to the left,” he said thickly. “The bed…is large enough for all three of us.”

Tears stung her eyes. “If you don’t mind,” she whispered.

“Mind!” He was behind her, beside her; he had her in his arms, close and warm and protected. His mouth found hers in a single graceful motion. She clung. He lifted her, devoured her. His dark eyes sought hers as he kissed her.

“Now?” he whispered, trembling.

“Now,” she moaned huskily.

He bent to her mouth again and she trembled with delicious anticipation as he carried her slowly into his bedroom and closed the door behind them.

* * *

Two weeks later she had to go back home for her checkup, and to hire someone else to help Harriett at the bookstore. Dutch flew back with her since the weekend was coming up. But he had to be in Chicago for a conference on Monday.

“I don’t like leaving you here,” he said curtly, glaring around at her small apartment. She’d become so much a part of his life that it felt odd to leave her behind.

She didn’t want the parting, either, but she hadn’t switched to a Chicago doctor yet, and she needed to be sure about the baby.

“Don’t worry about me,” she told him, holding his big hand in hers as she walked him to the door. “I’ll be fine. The nights will last forever, but I’ll manage,” she teased.

He didn’t smile. He touched her cheek, feeling tremors all the way to his soul. It was because of the baby that he felt this uneasy, he told himself. Only because of the baby. “I’ll be back day after tomorrow,” he said. “We’ll spend the week here, getting things in order. Tell Harriett I said to look after you.”

“Harrie will.” She smiled. “Do I get a goodbye kiss?”

He pulled her against his tall frame. “I wonder if I’ll make it out the door if I kiss you?” he murmured with a dry smile. “Come here.”

He drew her up on her tiptoes and covered her smiling mouth with his. It was like flying, he mused, eyes closing as he savored the taste of her. Flying, floating. She made his head light. He lifted his lips finally and searched her loving eyes. It didn’t bother him so much these days, that adoration. Perhaps he’d gotten used to it.

He brushed a last kiss against her lips. “Behave. And watch these steps, okay?”

“Okay. ’Bye.”

He touched her hair. “’Bye.” He walked away without looking back. She closed the door, and realized she hadn’t felt so alone since her parents had walked away from her years and years ago.

Chapter Ten

H
arriett was all ears, fascinated by the news that Dani’s unlikely husband was actually going to try to settle down.

“He must feel something for you,” she said, smiling at Dani. “I don’t care what you say, no man is going to go to those lengths just because of a purely physical involvement.”

Dani had been afraid to think that, much less say it. But she stared at Harriett for a long time, wondering.

“In some ways you’re still very naive, my friend,” Harriett said with a wicked grin. “He’s hooked. He just hasn’t realized it yet.”

If only it were true, Dani thought, praying for a miracle. If only he liked the job Apollo offered him. Even moving to Chicago wouldn’t be any hardship. Harriett and Dave would visit. And she could come back to Greenville from time to time. Harriett could be godmother. She smiled.

With her mind on Dutch, not on what she was doing, she went to step up on the long ladder against the wall to get a book from a high shelf. She was halfway up when she slipped. Terrified, screaming as she hit the floor, she looked up at Harriett, her face white.

“Oh, God, the baby!” she sobbed, clutching her stomach.

“It’s all right,” Harriett said quickly, soothing her. “It’s all right, I’ll get an ambulance. Lie still! Are you hurt anywhere?”

“I don’t know!”

Harriett ran for the phone. Dani lay there, panic-stricken, clutching her stomach. No, please don’t let me lose my baby, she prayed. Her eyes closed and tears bled from them as the first pain began to make itself felt in her leg, in her back. Please, please, please!

The next few minutes were a nightmare of waiting, worrying. The ambulance came, the attendants got her on the stretcher, took her to the hospital, and into the emergency room, with Harriett right behind. She hardly knew Harriett was there, she was so afraid of losing the baby.

She was examined by the emergency room doctor, who would tell her nothing. Then the tests began and went on and on until finally they took her to a room and left her shaking with worry. Her doctor would talk to her when they got the test results, she was informed.

She cried and cried. Harriett tried to soothe her, but it was useless. She was feeling a dragging pain in her lower stomach, and she knew she was going to lose the baby. She was going to lose her baby! Harriett asked her for something, a name in Chicago to call, to tell Dutch. Numbly, she gave her J.D. Brettman’s name and closed her eyes. It was no use, she wanted to say. Dutch would come, but only out of responsibility…and then she remembered the other time, the other pregnant woman, and she was terrified of what he might do.

Dr. Carter came walking in a few hours later, took one look at her and went back out to call for a sedative. He came in again, took her hand and nodded Harriett toward the door. He didn’t speak until she was gone.

“The baby’s going to be fine,” he said. “So are you. Now, calm down.”

The tears stopped, although her eyes remained wet and red. “What?”

“The baby’s all right.” He smiled, his blue eyes twinkling. “Babies are tough. They’ve got all that fluid around them, wonderful protection. Of course, you’re bruised a little here and there, but bruises heal. You’ll be fine.”