“Really?” Shauna
looked up in amazement. “You’re so great with all of the kids, even the hard
ones. How did you do it?”
“It just takes time,
honey. Pretty soon you’ll fall so in love with them that leaving each day will
be painful.”
Was that possible? “
I.
. .I hope so.” Shauna sighed.
“I know so,” the older woman said with an encouraging nod.
“And you’ll have to trust me when I say that I didn’t learn that in any
university or classroom.”
Ouch.
Shauna looked down at her hands as she spoke. “Please give
me another chance with Charity. I’ll try harder. I will.”
“I spoke to her father
this morning. Mr. Chapman wants to make sure his daughter is not singled
out—that she receives the same love and care as all the other children.”
Shauna’s stomach
flip-flopped at the mention of Kent’s name. Had he called to complain about her
involvement? “If you give me time,” she said, “things will get better. I’m sure
of it. You won’t be sorry.”
“I hope not, honey.”
Mrs. Fritz gave her another concerned look. “That little girl has lost so much
already. She needs all the love we can possibly pour out on her and more. We
can’t take the place of her mother, but we can show her what loving women are
like so that she can grow up to be one.”
Shauna’s heart
wrenched. “You’re right.” She pressed away the lump in her throat. “I know
you’re right. And from now on, I won’t just tolerate Charity. I’ll ask the Lord
to give me a love for her.”
Mrs. Fritz gave her a
warm smile then patted her on the shoulder. “Now that’s the kind of answer I
was looking for. And don’t be ashamed of the fact that you have to ask Him to
give you that love. Sometimes it doesn’t come naturally. One of these days,
you’ll have your own children, and your love for them will be overwhelming.
Natural. But in cases like these, sometimes love has to grow. I predict Charity
will learn to love you, too.”
Shauna stood, and the
older woman wrapped her in a warm embrace.
“It’s pretty amazing what a little love will do,” Mrs. Fritz
said with a smile. “A little goes a long, long way.”
Shauna drew in a deep
breath and stepped toward the door, prepared to begin a new phase in her
journey.
***
Kent paced across the office, toying with the idea of
telephoning Shauna. When his fractured nerves could take it no more, he picked
up the telephone and punched in the number. Her phone rang four times before
finally transitioning to the prerecorded message.
“I’m sorry I can’t come to the phone right now,” her cheery
voice greeted him. “I’m probably hugging a child or teaching someone their
ABCs. Leave a message, and I’ll get back to you during nap time or after
school.”
With a lump in his
throat, he left a raspy message. “
Shauna.
. .Shauna,
this is Kent Chapman. I really need to talk to
you.
.
.” His voice drifted off as he thought about what to say next. For some reason
he couldn’t seem to think clearly. Her beautiful smile seemed to penetrate his
heart, making words impossible. “
I.
. .I…Could you
call me back? This isn’t really about Charity. I just
wanted.
. .needed to talk to you.”
He clicked off,
feeling like an idiot—not just for the choppy message but also the call
he had made earlier this morning to Mrs. Fritz. Had he made a mistake by
telephoning the school’s director to offer critique? Had he come down too hard
on Shauna? Maybe she just needed someone to help her understand Charity’s
special situation—her need for female role models.
Kent couldn’t help but
smile as he remembered Shauna on the night of their date. She had looked so
happy to be with him—so carefree—and her eyes had twinkled merrily
as they made their way into the restaurant.
Of course, there was
that one part where she had commented on the unruly child. What was it she had
said about parents allowing their children to get away with too much? And
hadn’t she complained about her job that night, letting him know that her
situation at work was nearing the unbearable point? Could she have been talking
about his daughter, or were there other things to be factored into the
equation?
He sighed, knowing in
his heart that he had, at least in part, spoiled Charity. In so many ways, he
had made allowances for her behavior because of her situation.
Perhaps
more than made allowances.
In his heart, Kent had to acknowledge that he
had played a role in the development of his daughter’s poor habits.
I’ve given her everything she ever wanted. I’ve
let her get away with far too much. I’ve allowed the temper tantrums to go on
without really stopping to discipline. All
because.
.
.
His thoughts shifted
to Faith and tears stung his eyes.
I’ll
never know how Faith would have raised her. But I know what God is calling me
to do. I have to raise her in the fear and admonition of the Lord. And if that
means a little
discipline.
. .
So be it.
Kent stood outside his mother’s bookstore, waiting for
Shauna. His nerves were a jumbled mess. They had been, ever since her phone
call, agreeing to meet him. He fought to balance his feelings of guilt with his
need to explain his daughter’s behavior.
Lord,
please give me the words to say. I don’t want to blow this. I really like
Shauna.
I really like Shauna.
For the first time, he found himself facing
the truth of the matter. He liked Shauna. And he wanted Shauna to
like—no, love—Charity. But he couldn’t make that happen. Only the
Lord could manage such a seemingly impossible task.
When Shauna’s white
Saturn pulled up, he walked to the driver’s side and opened the door for her.
She seemed a bit surprised at his gesture but greeted him
with a quiet, “Hello.” Restrained. But he didn’t blame her.
“Hello to you, too.
Glad you could make it.” Kent gave her a bright smile and led the way into the
coffee shop at the back of the store. She followed behind in silence. He hoped
to break it with the offer of something warm to drink. “Would you like some
coffee?” He nodded toward the counter.
She gave a little
shiver. “Yes. It’s really getting chilly out there.”
I sure hope it doesn’t get chilly in here.
“Almost feels like fall,
doesn’t it?”
Her lips curled up, the first hint at a smile. “I love our
long summers, but I was happy to see that cold front come through. I was
starting to think it would never happen.”
“If you could call it a cold front.” He chuckled. “In Houston,
when it dips down into the sixties, we pull out our coats. I remember one
winter it actually snowed about an inch. They let school out for the day.” He
chuckled, remembering.
“I was in second grade that year.” Her face lit up. “We
tried to build a snowman, but it melted before we could get it put together.”
“I was in sixth grade that year,” he said. “And you know
what? We tried the snowman thing, too. Isn’t it weird to think we were probably
building snowmen at the same time just a few miles apart from each other?” They
stared at each other for a moment in silence.
“Building puddles was more like it,” Shauna said, finally.
“By midafternoon the temperature had risen into the fifties, and our front yard
was a muddy mess.”
“I remember that.” He gave her a curious look. “That’s
Houston for you. Just about the time you think you stand a chance at a real
winter, a heat wave appears.” He grinned.
She pulled her sweater a little tighter and nodded toward
the counter. “Speaking of
which.
. .let’s get that
coffee.”
“Sure. And maybe when we’re done, I can show you around the
bookstore. My mom manages the place.”
“She does?” Shauna’s face lit up, and he couldn’t but notice
the sparkle in her eyes. “I love bookstores. Always have. Especially the kids’
section.”
“They’ve got a great one here. I’ll show you everything
after we visit for a while.”
They walked to the
counter and, much to his
surprise,
Shauna ordered a
Pumpkin Latte—something he would never have considered. He chose the
usual Mocha Java. With beverages in hand, they made their way through the crowd
to a tiny table in the back of the room. Nearly each table along the way was
abuzz with activity. People sat holding laptops, typing madly. Others talked on
cell phones. Some sat alone, reading the newspaper or a book.
Kent and Shauna
finally located a small table in the back of the room, and they sat down
face-to-face. No longer could they avoid speaking to one another.
This wall has to come down.
Shauna took a sip of her drink then fanned her mouth. “
Ew
, that’s hot.”
“Careful.” Kent
smiled, thinking of how many times he had used that same word with Charity.
Careful, honey! Don’t spill.
Careful, baby.
Watch what you’re doing!
“I always manage to do
that.” Shauna set the drink down on the table to let it cool off.
Silence enveloped them again, and Kent knew he must dive in
or they might never speak again. He began the conversation with a random
thought. “This is a strange time to be living,” he said as he glanced around
the room.
“What do you mean?”
Kent gestured around the room, slightly distracted by all of
the conversations going on around him. “Look around you,” he said. “Half the
folks in this room are talking to people they’re not even with and ignoring the
ones they are with.”
She looked first
right, then left,
then
slowly nodded. “You’re right. I
guess I never thought about it that way before.”
“I think about it all
the time. We don’t have a lot of time with the people we love these days. And
when we are together, sometimes we don’t really connect.”
She sighed. “I know
what you mean. By the time I get home from work, I don’t really spend a lot of
time talking to my parents. They’re busy. I’m busy. Or I’m on the Internet
checking my E-mail.” Her cheeks flushed slightly as she mentioned the last
part.
Talking to her
boyfriend, perhaps?
Why did that idea
suddenly hurt so much? Kent struggled to understand his own feelings, mixed-up
as they were.
“I hear you,” he said
finally. “It’s just a shame, you know? We’ve got people right in front of us,
and we don’t always take the time to tell them how much they mean to
us—or even to relate to them at all.” He paused. “I guess I’m just so
sensitive to this because there are so many things I wish I’d said to Faith
before she died. You know, I never told her how pretty she looked on that day.
She had fixed her hair a different way, and I never even commented on it.”
“I’m sure she
knew.
. .” Shauna gave him a sympathetic look. “She knew you
loved her, and women who know they’re loved don’t always need to hear those
things.”
“Still, it’s important
to take the opportunity when we have it.”
He could see a look of
pain in Shauna’s eyes, and he wondered if she had misinterpreted his words. She
began to speak, and he felt sure she had.
“Speaking of opportunities,” Shauna
glanced down at the table, “I just wanted to start by saying how sorry I am for
coming down so hard on Charity.” She looked up, and he noticed the glistening
of tears in her eyes. “I’m ashamed and a little embarrassed to admit that I’m
on such a learning curve. There are so many things I still can’t
handle.
. .”
“I understand,” Kent
said. “Maybe more than I let on. I know how hard she can be, trust me. She
wears me out sometimes.”
“Really? You’re not
just saying that?” Shauna gave him a weary look.
“It’s hard enough to
be a parent,” he explained. “Even harder to be a single parent who works all
day at a brand new job. I haven’t had a good night’s sleep for a really long
time. It’s not because I’m not tired, that’s for sure. I’m exhausted.”
“I hear you. By the
time I get home from work, I just want to fall into bed and forget about the
day. I’ve learned a lot over the past few weeks. It’s one thing to talk about
working with children. It’s another thing to actually work with them.”
Kent’s heart felt
heavy, and he knew there were still words he must speak, as well. “You’ve
apologized to me, but I need to do the same.”
“Why?” An expression
of curiosity crossed her face. “What did you do?”
“I overreacted that
day at the school, and
I.
. .I telephoned Mrs. Fritz.”
“Ah.” She nodded. “I
knew that. She told me. But she didn’t come down too hard on me. In fact, we
had a really pleasant conversation. She helped me put things in perspective.”
“Sometimes I wish I
had someone to help me do that,” Kent said. “Besides just my mom, I mean. She’s
great, but I really miss having someone
like.
. .” His
words drifted away, and he looked down at the table then took a sip of his
coffee.