“I know you’re right.
I just hadn’t thought it through like that.” Kellie spirits lifted at her
mother’s words. “And I know Daddy’s getting better every day. He’s taking baby
steps, but every one is a step in the right direction.”
“Yes,” her mother
agreed. “And he knows we’re here, even when he can’t properly voice his
feelings. It means the world to him. I can see it in his eyes.”
Kellie sat next her
mother, quiet for some time. “I wish I could be here more,” she said finally.
“It doesn’t seem like enough to come on weekends.”
It isn’t enough.
“Don’t be so hard on
yourself.” Her mother patted her hand. “You have a husband and a job. Daddy
understands that, even if he can’t voice it. We all do.”
For
some reason, Kellie couldn’t let the idea rest. In her heart, she yearned to do
more. In her heart, she saw herself here—every day—alongside her
mother. She wanted to play an important role in her father’s healing. He needed
her. “I could take some time off of work,” she said, suddenly determined.
“But you’ve already
done that.” Kellie’s mother gave her a quizzical look. “You lost over a week’s
work already.”
“No. I mean
,
I could take an extended leave of absence.” Kellie paused,
deep in thought. “Or, better
yet.
. .” She felt her
excitement rising, “I could work from here. I could try my hand at day trading.
As long as I have Internet access, I could make it work. I know I could.”
“Day trading?”
“Yes. I could work a
few hours in the morning and then come up here for the rest of the day. I know
I could handle the workload.” Her income might drop a little, but what
difference would that make, in the grand scheme of things? She could make up
for it later.
“But what about
Nathan?” Her mother’s eyes registered concern. “Think about what you’re saying,
Kellie. You might be able to make it work for you, but it would be terrible for
the two of you to be apart. I watched you try. It’s not fair to him—or to
you.”
Kellie felt as if the
wind had suddenly been knocked out of her sails. “I know.” She sighed deeply.
“If only there was some way
to.
. .”
“To have your cake and
eat it too?”
Kellie looked up as
she heard Nathan’s quiet interjection. “Nathan.
H.
.
.how long have you been standing there?”
“Awhile.” He sat next
to her and leaned his head back against the wall.
“I’m sorry,” she
whispered as she leaned her head against his shoulder. “I know I’m not making
much sense.”
“I understand, Baby.”
He kissed her on the forehead. “This is hard.”
She sighed. “Have you ever wished you could be in two places
at once?”
Nathan pursed his
lips. “Only when you were here and I was at home alone. I wished it every day.”
She dropped the
subject right away. “I’m sorry. I know it’s impossible. Just wishful thinking
on my part.”
“No harm in that.” He
slipped an arm around her shoulder. “I wish I had the answer for you. I really
do. But we’ll keep praying. God will give us direction. I know He will. And in
the meantime, we’ll keep coming every weekend. We’ll be here as often as we
can.”
Kellie nodded.
Lord, I
wish I had his faith.
She looked up as Dr. Koenig, her father’s
neurologist, joined them in the hallway. He spoke in hushed tones, as if
somehow that would shield her father from whatever he had to say. In truth,
Kellie had to admit, her father probably wouldn’t make much sense of their
conversation, regardless of the volume.
Dr. Koenig gave them
all a sympathetic smile. “I know you’re anxious to see him progress.”
Everyone nodded in
agreement. Kellie gripped Nathan’s hand in her own.
“He is progressing,
even if it’s not apparent to the naked eye,” the doctor continued. “We can’t
discount how far he’s already come. The fact that he’s awake and able to move
is very hopeful. And his ability to speak, albeit it just a few words, is also
a good sign.”
Kellie immediately
fought to push thoughts of frustration from her mind. The few slurred words
coming from her father sounded little like the man she knew and loved. “How
long?” She voiced the question everyone surely wondered. “How long will he be
in here?
How long before he’s back
to.
. . to normal?”
Dr. Koenig drew in a
breath and looked her squarely in the eye. “I wish I could answer that. I
really do.” He paused and shook his head. “Some of my neurological patients
enter the rehab in dire straits then end up staying just a few weeks. They
leave as if nothing had ever happened. And
then.
. .”
Kellie glanced up as
he gestured down the hall to the recreation hall, where patients with varying
degrees of neurological problems visited together. Some watched television.
Others struggled to stand, to walk. Some swore at nurses and shouted insults to
those walking by. Still others sat in silence in their wheelchairs, staring out
of windows.
“Some of my patients
have been here quite some time,” the doctor explained. “There’s truly no way to
predict. It’s too soon to tell how quickly Kenton will progress. But I’m very
hopeful. And he needs you to be, as well.”
“We are.” Kellie’s
mother reached out and placed her hand on the doctor’s arm. “We’re not going to
give up and neither is he. I know that man of mine. He’s a fighter. He wants to
get through this.”
Kellie felt the
familiar lump begin to rise into her throat. She tried to push it down as she
spoke. “We’re going to be here for him.”
“That’s the key
thing.” Dr. Koenig smiled warmly. “He will respond to the familiar. The more
time you can spend with him, the better. I can’t express how important that is.
Having your support will be better than any medication I can give him.”
Kellie couldn’t help
but notice Nathan’s palm grew sweaty in her own.
As the doctor turned
to leave, she turned as well. Kellie looked her husband in the eye, and
prepared herself to ask him for the impossible.
***
Nathan listened
intently as he drove to his mother-in-law’s house. Kellie’s heartfelt words
left little to the imagination. In truth, they brought to light feelings she
had not fully voiced in the days prior, feelings he now struggled to reconcile
with his own. With tears flowing, his beautiful bride poured out her heart,
expressing her desire to stay in
Greenvine
so that
she could be closer to her father.
With a lump in his throat, Nathan fought to respond. But
what could he say?
How could he
begin to reciprocate when he wasn’t even sure they could make this work?
In truth, Nathan couldn’t make much
sense out of Kellie’s emotional request. Could she really be serious?
How could they possibly settle in a town
like
Greenvine
, even for a short period of time?
And, if so, how could he possibly go
along with such a thing?
How would
they continue to work?
What would
happen to their condominium, their jobs and their lifestyle?
He drove in silence, conscious of her breathing as the tears
continued to fall.
Lord, help me. I don’t
want to blow this. Give me
Your
words to say.
“I didn’t know I would
feel this strongly,” Kellie explained with great passion. “I’ve never been
through anything like this before. I don’t have anything to compare it to.”
“We’re both on a
learning curve,” he acknowledged.
“I guess this whole
experience has just made me reconsider some things.” She looked over at him
with those puppy dog eyes and Nathan forced himself to stay focused on the
road. He bit his lip and continued to drive.
“What kind of things?”
“Things like fancy
cars, expensive condominiums and high-paying jobs,” she said. “These days I
spend more time thinking about the things that are really
important—family, relationships and quality time with the people you
love—that sort of thing.”
“I hear you.” Nathan
chose his words carefully. “And I agree that those things are more important. I
just don’t see an answer to this problem, at least not one that would satisfy
both of us. I know you want to be with your dad—”
“And with you,” she
said adamantly.
“That’s why the
only way it would work is if we were both in agreement.
Together,
both physically and psychologically.
But that means we’d both have to be
willing to make some changes.”
“I don’t do change
well,” he said. “And, to be honest, I can’t even imagine staying here. Your mom
already has her hands full, and I don’t think I’d want to give up my privacy by
staying in her house. It just wouldn’t feel like—”
“Like home?” she
asked.
“Right. Home.”
“I think I have a
solution.” Kellie smiled and Nathan realized she had already come up with a
plan, had already worked all of this out in her head.
Without
him.
“What’s that?” He turned onto her
mother’s street and listened carefully as she explained.
Her eyes sparkled with
excitement as she spoke. “What would you think about renting a house?”
“What?” He hit the
brakes and pulled the car off to the side of the road so that he could make
sure he’d heard correctly. “Renting a house here?
In
Greenvine
?”
Her energy level rose
with each word. “Yes. I’ve given this a lot of thought, Baby. There’s a house
for rent just two blocks from here. At least, I hope it’s still available. I
saw the sign out front last time we were here. It’s so inexpensive, you’re
going to laugh when you hear how much they’re asking.”
“I doubt it.” He
pursed his lips.
“I know what you’re
thinking.” She grabbed his hand and gazed at him with a look of desperation in
her eyes. “You’re thinking we won’t be able to balance everything out. But I
think we can do this, Nathan.
I.
. . I know we can.”
She raced ahead, near breathless. “I can still work over the Internet. I can
spend time with my mom and still have plenty of time with you in the evenings
and on weekends. And it’s not really that far for you to drive, is it?”
“Kellie, I don’t
know.”
Her eyes widened more with each impassioned word. “I mean,
an hour and a half each
way.
. . people do it every
day. We could keep our condominium. Or rent it out. Whatever you think. I mean,
we’re only talking about a few months, after all—not a lifetime.”
He shook his head in
disbelief. “I’m just floored. I don’t know what to say. It sounds like you’ve
got everything worked out, right down to the house. But you’ve completely left
me out of the equation.” He fought to keep his temper in check. How in the
world could she possibly see this as an answer?
“
I.
. . I’m sorry.” She lowered her head and droplets of tears fell onto her blouse
as she spoke in hushed tones. “You’re right. I just don’t know what else to
do.”
They sat in silence
for some time before Nathan put the car in gear again. Try as he may, he simply
couldn’t think of anything to say. With a heavy heart, he turned the car in the
direction of his mother-in-law’s home.
Kellie crossed the parking lot of
the small community church with her husband’s hand tightly clutched in her own.
She couldn’t help but smile as she spied the new education building off to the
left. Children raced across the sidewalk, scurrying from place to place. Not so
many years ago, she had been one of them. “This place has really grown,” she
said.
“It
has?” Nathan looked around, clearly surprised.
Kellie
had to laugh. “I know it doesn’t look like much, but it’s about twice the size
it was when I was a kid. And my mom tells me they’ve renovated the sanctuary. I
can hardly wait to see it.” In truth, she could hardly wait to see the people
inside the sanctuary. How many would remember her?
How many would she still connect with?
They
entered the building and Kellie braced herself for the inevitable. Sure enough,
as they crossed into the foyer, a host of people greeted them.
“Why,
if it isn’t little Kellie Conway!” An elderly woman grabbed her hand and
squealed in glee.
“It’s
Kellie Fisher now, Mrs. Dennison.” She smiled broadly as Nathan extended his
hand. Her heart swelled with pride as she introduced him. “This is my husband,
Nathan.”
“Nathan.”
The older woman released her hold on Kellie and grasped Nathan’s hand. She
looked him in the eye. “You’ve got an amazing girl here. She was quite a little
pistol as a child. I should know. I was her Sunday School teacher.”
Kellie
felt her cheeks flush. “Mrs. Dennison actually taught my Sunday School class
for several years,” she explained. “She took us all the way through the Old and
New Testaments. We studied over a hundred Bible characters, in all.”