Looked like Julia’s enthusiasm
wasn’t limited to her daughter’s social life. Kellie couldn’t help but wonder
about her friend’s lifestyle. Did Julia spend her days as full-time mom and
activities director, part-time home decorator? Whatever she did with her time,
it certainly brought her joy.
“I’d love to come by and see the
house sometime,” Kellie said. “And you too, of course. When are you free?”
“I’m
pretty open in the afternoons,” Julia said. “Of course, I’m still teaching art
classes at the Junior High in the morning. They were great to work around my
schedule.”
“Oh!”
Kellie nearly squealed again. “You’re an art teacher. I’d almost forgotten. I
sure could use your help choosing paint colors for the house.”
“I’d
love that.” Julia bounced Madison up and down on her hip. “When do you want to
get started?
“The
sooner, the better.”
The
two dove into a lengthy discussion about paint chips and name brands. They
contemplated color choices and textures. They debated faux finishes and
wallpaper. In short, they had a grand time talking about the what-ifs of home
decorating.
After awhile, Kellie changed the
direction of the conversation. She had been wondering about Julia’s husband for
some time now and couldn’t wait to ask about him.
“What’s
Frankie like?”
“Oh,
he’s awesome.” Julia’s face lit up. “He’s got the most amazing sense of humor.
He keeps me laughing all the time.”
“What
sort of work does he do?”
“He’s
a mechanic. He works at Clayton’s Automotive up on 290. You’ve probably been by
it a hundred times.”
Recognition
registered. “Oh, I think I’ve seen that place.”
“I
met him when my alternator went out.” Julia chuckled. “We’ve always said the
Lord brought us together. Only problem with that theory is it cost me about
three hundred dollars to have the crazy thing fixed.”
Kellie
couldn’t help but smile.
Julia
continued on with great enthusiasm. “But you should see him with Madison.
They’re the perfect father-daughter team. And he treats me like such a queen.
He does most of the cooking—not because he doesn’t like mine, but just
because he enjoys doing it. He might not be the most handsome
man.
. .” She paused for a moment, and seemed to disappear
into her thoughts, “and we’ll probably never live in a really nice home or
anything like that. But he’s the man of my dreams, no doubt. God knew just what
He was doing.”
Kellie
looked at her friend with newfound admiration. “Well, he sounds great. And I
can’t wait to get to know him better.” A thought suddenly came to her, one she
could not let go of. “You know, I think Nathan could use some friends from the
area. He’s really private, but I can tell he gets a little lonely sometimes.
Maybe you and Frankie could come over sometime for dinner. Maybe we could watch
a movie or something after.”
“Sounds
like fun.” Julia’s brow wrinkled as she continued. “But I’d have to bring the
baby. Would that be okay?”
Kellie
reached to play with Madison’s curls once again. “I wouldn’t have it any other
way.”
Madison
began to fuss a bit and Julia placed her back in the front of the basket. “I
guess I’d better get this little girl home,” she said with a sigh. “Her daddy’s
going to be arriving any minute now.”
Daddy.
As soon as the word flitted through her mind, Kellie’s eyes watered.
Lord,
please heal my dad. And
Lord.
. . Give Nathan the
desire to be a dad.
Where
the words came from, she had no idea.
***
Nathan awoke early Saturday
morning. He glanced at the clock and groaned. 5:55.
Why
couldn’t he ever sleep past 6:00?
He knew the answer, of course. His
body had grown accustomed to the early morning hours.
But on
Saturday?
Surely on the
weekend he could catch a few more winks.
The first hint of sunlight peeked
in through the window. Nathan closed his eyes to shut it out. Unfortunately,
nothing could drown out the noise of birds chirping in the tree just outside
their bedroom window. He would never grow used to it, not if he lived here a
hundred years. In his heart, he yearned for the noises of the city—the
sound of cars racing by, horns honking, tires squealing, people hollering back
and forth. He strained to hear those wonderful, familiar sounds.
Nothing.
Only
the irritating hum of crickets and the wind blowing through the trees.
How did people live like this? Nathan rolled back over and punched the pillow.
I’m
going to sleep if it kills me.
He lay in silence for a few minutes, willing
himself into a slumber. Kellie’s gentle breathing almost made him envious.
He
drew in a deep breath as he pondered that thought. In all honesty, he had been
more than a little envious of her over the past couple of weeks, though he
hadn’t admitted to anyone. Even himself. But how could he not feel some small
degree of resentment? It must be nice to be able to sleep in every day, then
wake up to a quiet home. No people shouting orders, racing up and down
hallways, pressing into elevators. No looming deadlines or irritable
co-workers.
He
punched the pillow once again.
Be fair, Man. She’s working from home. It’s
not like she doesn’t have a job. And even if she
didn’t.
. .
The
concept hit him like a meteor plunging from the sky. What if she didn’t?
What if Kellie turned out to be one of
those women who simply wanted to stay home and raise babies?
Would that really be so awful?
He swallowed hard, thinking about it.
Sure, it interrupted their well-conceived plan, but what if God had a different
plan in mind all along?
Nathan
lay silently as he pondered the thought.
We’ll have children one of these
days and they’ll have everything we can afford to give them. They’ll go to the
best schools, they’ll get the best possible care from a private nanny, if need
be. At any rate, they’ll be well taken care of.
Well
taken care of.
He looked over at Kellie once more. Her back rose and fell with each
breath. Nathan couldn’t help but notice how she’d changed over the past few
weeks. She’d lost the frenzied, worried look that so often etched her eyes. In
its place, a bright-eyed, well-rested woman greeted him each night as he
entered the house.
With a beautiful meal on the table, to
boot.
“She’s
well taken care of now.” He whispered the words, and then sat up in the bed to
look at her more pensively. Here, in this place, she appeared to be thriving.
The only thing missing from her life
was.
. . well, to
be honest… him.
But there’s nothing he could do about that.
It wasn’t his fault, either.
Nathan had wrestled with the Lord a
few moments over the issue. How could he handle so much at once—a
mortgage, rent, bills,
the
commute—and still
give her all the things she really needed?
Surely he had shown Kellie in a dozen different ways how much he loved
her, even if he couldn’t give her all of the time she wanted.
Nathan
thought back over all the gifts he’d given Kellie over the past three years.
Gifts to make up for not being there as much as he should. Gifts to bring a
smile to her face. Gifts to replace the one thing she really wanted:
Time.
All she needed was time with him. That’s all she’d ever needed or wanted.
She’s
all about quality time. That’s how she wants me to show her love. But how,
Lord?
How do I do that when I have
no time?
Then
again, he had time right now. Nathan reached over and ran his finger across
Kellie’s cheek.
She awoke with a start. “Nathan,
is everything okay?”
“I’m
sorry.” He pulled his hand back, repentant. “I really didn’t mean to wake you.”
He drew closer to her and kissed her on the cheek. “Unless you want to be
awake, that is.”
“What
time is it?” She looked at the clock and groaned. “Whoa.”
“We
can sleep awhile longer.” He leaned back against the pillow and yawned.
“Okay.”
She rolled over and leaned her head against his chest. Just about the time he
thought she’d fallen asleep again, she reached to plant a tiny kiss on his
shoulder. Nathan responded by wrapping her in his
arms.
. .
. .
.and giving her all the time she needed.
Kellie nudged Nathan with her
elbow more than once during Pastor Jamison’s sermon the following Sunday.
Frankly, she didn’t see how anyone could doze through such a life-changing
message. How long had it been since she’d heard the gospel preached with such
clarity?
And how long had it been
since she’d found herself in such a peaceful setting to take it all in?
She
glanced around the room, still listening. The same organ sat to the left of the
stage, the grand piano to the right. She’d played that piano as a child. At a
recital, if memory served her correctly.
And that pulpit.
How many sermons had she heard from behind
that beautiful wooden pulpit?
How
many times had Pastor Jamison given a call for people to come forward for
prayer?
And how many times had she
found herself at the altar, weeping?
All of those memories now faded into one clear reality. This room held a
host of
memories.
. .all wonderful. In this place, she
had given her heart to the Lord. In this place, she had come to understand His
call on her life. And now, in this place, she sat with her husband at her side,
content.
Kellie continued to look around
the room as she listened to the pastor’s words. The stained glass windows
caught her eye. Each was unique to itself, perhaps not as brilliant as those in
the city churches, but with every bit as much meaning. Perhaps more. Her gaze
came to rest on one in particular—Jesus making his way up the hill toward
Calvary. Sunlight from the outside brought the colors to light. Each red and
blue seemed more brilliant than she’d remembered.
Though Kellie couldn’t read the
inscription from where she sat, she knew from memory what it said:
In loving memory of Kenton Conway,
Sr.
—her grandfather—one of the founding members of this church.
She remembered his laugh and the way his breath always smelled of mint. She
remembered his silver hair, each one sculpted in place with slick hair gel. But
more than anything, she remembered that eventful Sunday during her seventh
grade year, just a few short months after he’d passed away. Pastor Jamison had
dedicated the colorful window with tears in his eyes. In fact, everyone in the
place had tears in their eyes.
Just
like she did now. But the window stirred other feelings now, as well. Feelings
she couldn’t seem to control. Staring at the window made her think of her
father, and brought a sense of sadness. She pushed it aside and focused on
Pastor Jamison.
Of
course, it was a little difficult, with Nathan dozing off to her left. Every
five or six minutes his breathing changed, grew heavier. Then, just about the
time she found herself captivated by the message, he would let out the tiniest
bit of a snore.
The little girl in
the pew in front of them seemed to find it amusing. The darling youngster
turned around on several occasions and made funny faces. Kellie tried to stay
focused but found it difficult. Thank goodness her mother was off in children’s
church. She was the sort to find this funny, as well. Kellie found the whole
thing a bit more difficult.
On
the other hand,
she reasoned as she jabbed her elbow into his side for
umpteenth time,
it wasn’t like he was
getting enough sleep. He was wearing himself out driving back and forth so that
she could be here. He was making all of the sacrifices and
she.
.
.
She pursed her lips as she
contemplated what Nathan must think of her.
Does he think I’m lazy?
Does he think I don’t care about his
workload?
I do care.
But had he
misinterpreted her motives?
Had she
in some small way let her love for her father seem more important than her love
for her husband?
Kellie
gave a little shiver as the thought sank in. She tried to stay focused as the
pastor wrapped up the message, but couldn’t seem to let go of the thought that
Nathan must be harboring some internal frustrations he simply wasn’t voicing.
Perhaps they would have a good, long conversation about it all. This afternoon.
As
the service drew to a close, Nathan seemed to be more himself. He sang
reverently, with eyes shut, during the invitation and stood in silent prayer
for those who responded. In short, he was back to his old self.
He clutched her hand and eased her along
through the crowd toward the back of the sanctuary as the service was
dismissed. They encountered more than one interruption along the way.