The 3 Mistakes Of My Life (20 page)

'He told me, Inshallah, you will go. Ali mentions Ishaan bhai's name at least

ten times everyday. Sometimes I feel Ishaan bhai is more his father than me. Goa,

Australia, I never say no to him. Why isn't he here?'

'Well he and Omi are...'

'At the other rally, isn't it? Don't worry, I understand. Your choice.'

i am a businessman. I have no interest in politics,' I said, in fact, I'll go now.'

He fell into step with me. 'I'll come and say hello to Ishaan

bhai.'

I wanted to tell him it was a terrible idea for him to come to Mama's rally.

Politics may be his pastime, but for Mama it was lift and death. I kept quiet as we

walked back to Mama's rally. Hasmukh-bhai was still on, with lots of hand

gestures. 'Put your hand on your heart. Don't you feel wronged as Hindus? And if

we had the best culture and administration thousands of years ago, why not

now?'

Mama saw us from the stage and pointed a finger. A few people in the crowd

looked at me and Ali's father.

'Hey, who is that?' a party worker said.

The crowd booed at us. Ali's dad's beard looked extremely out of place.

'Get lost, you traitor,' said a person from the crowd. 'Let's teach him a lesson,'

said another. Hasmukh-ji stopped talking. Luckily, he kept quiet. Ali's abba

raised his hand to wave to Mama and Hasmukh-ji.

'Go away, Ali's abba,' I murmured without looking at him.

Omi came running to me and grabbed my hand. 'What the hell are you doing? I

sent you to spy and you bring back another spy?'

Ali's dad heard Omi and looked at me. I shook my head. He gave me an all-

knowing smile and turned to walk back.

I don't give a fuck about this,' I shouted back. I doubt he heard me.

Thirteen

First Goa, now Australia. What business do you do?' said Vidya, her eyes the

size of the new one-rupee coins.

'Fred kept his promise when Ish wrote to him again. We received tickets in the

mail,' I said. We had finished class and I wanted to tell her about my impending

absence.

'So who are the two people going?' she said.

'Not two, four. Ali and the three of us are going,' I said.

'Lucky bums,' she laughed.

'So, I will be away for ten days. But your books won't be. Vidya, all my students

do well. Don't let me down.' 'You also don't let me down,' she said. 'How?'

'Forget it. So where are you going in Australia?'

'Sydney. Fred is from there. Ali will practice in his academy for a week. When

your brother sets his mind on something, he goes real far.'

'Unlike me. I can't focus. I'm sure I will flunk my medical entrance. I will be

stuck in this hellhole home even in college. And then I will get married into

another hell-hole in some backward part of Gujarat.'

'Gujarat is not backward,' I retorted.

'Maybe I am too forward.'

We locked eyes again. In an entrance exam for insolence, Vidya would top easy.

I opened her guide books.

'Why are studies so boring? Why do you have to do something so uninteresting

to become something in life?'

'Vidya, philosophical questions, no. Mathematical questions, yes,' I said and

stood up to leave.

'Will you get me something from Australia?'

'Ask your brother, he will get you whatever you want.' I restacked the books.

No way would I spend more cash than I
needed to.

'Anyway, we are on a tight budget,' I clarified. She nodded as if she understood.

'So, will you miss me?' I continued to look down.

'You have a budget for how much you can miss people, too?' she asked.

'Do your sums, Vidya. Focus,' I said and left.

★

'You guys tired or wanna hit practice?' were Fred's first words of welcome at

the airport.

'Where is my bed?' I wanted to ask.

We had taken an overnight train from Ahmedabad to Mumbai, waited six more

hours to board a fourteen-hour flight to Sydney via Singapore. Thirty hours of

travel in cramped environments and I wanted to kill myself with sleep.

'Oh, so we made it in time for practice?' Ish looked out at the streets of Sydney.

At 7 a.m. in the morning, joggers clogged the pavements. Picture-postcard coffee

shops advertised delicious muffins.

I patted the khakras in my bag. We couldn't afford any cakes In
this town.

'I go to the academy ground in the morning,' Fred said as he stepped on the

gas. 'I've put you up in a hostel. Take a nap first I'd say. Philip will pick you up

for the evening practice.'



Guys, this is Ali. He is a batsman,' Fred said to the other players who came for

practice. Apart from Philip, there was a beefy guy called Peter and a spectacled

spinner called Steve. I forgot the other names instantly.

Fred screamed, 'Five rounds everyone. Close to the boundary line, no short-

cuts.'

The first two hours of our Australian practice was the practice of death. Five

rounds of the academy grounds equaled twenty rounds of Nana Park and fifty

rounds of the bank's courtyard. After the run, we did innumerable sit-ups, push-

ups and crunches. Three personal trainers supervised five students each. The

first lime I groaned, one came running to me. The next time he said, 'Cut the

drama, mate.'

We came to the pitch after endurance training. I told them I was no player, but

I had to field anyway.

'Here, bowl,' Fred tossed the ball to Ali.

'He doesn't really bowl,' Ish said.

'I know, give it a burl,' Fred clapped his hands.

Philip took his fielding place at the boundary near me.

'What's burl?' I asked him.

'Aussie slang, mate,' Philip laughed, it means give it a try.'

Ish offered to be the wicket keeper, but Fred told him to stay at the slip

instead. Ali's bowling was no match for these state level players. Roger slammed

the ball towards the boundary several times. Once the ball came between Philip

and me, and we had a tough time catching it.

'Rattle your dags, mate,' another fielder shouted at me. No one had to translate

'hurry up' to me.

I threw the ball back. What was I doing in the middle of this Australian

ground?

As the day progressed, so did my Aussie vocabulary. 'Onya' was short for 'good

on you', which meant well done. An easy ball was a 'piece of piss', while a good

one 'packed a wallop'. The mosquitoes were 'mozzies', and soft drinks 'coldies'.

When I took a loo break, Philip broke into some more slang. 'You got to siphon

the python, is it?'

It started to get dark.

'Pack-up time,' announced Fred though Ali hadn't batted yet.

Fred raised his eyebrows at a glum Ish in the locker room.

I am fine,' said Ish. Omi and Ali were taking a walk outside the dub.

'Fair dinkum?'

Ish looked up from his wooden stool.

'He is asking if you are telling the truth,' I showed off my newfound linguistic

skills.

'When is practice tomorrow, Fred, in English if you can,' Ish said.

'You a whinger?' Fred said. 'Whinge means...,' I said as Ish interrupted me.

I know what whinge means, can someone please explain the point of calling a

batsman from thousands of miles away and not making him bat?'

Fred smiled, 'Oh, you wanted your little discovery to bat. What for? So he can

hit a few sixes. You want the kid to be a show-off from day one?'

That's not what I...'

'Mate, I see a lot of talent. Every AIS scholarship kid has tickets on himself. If I

don't break their pride, they will stay hoons for the rest of their life. Sportsmen

aren't movie stars, mate. Even though your country treats them like that.'

'But Fred...'

'You Indians have good talent, but the training - trust me on that mate.'

'We are only here for a week,' Ish sounded helpless. 'I'll make the week

productive. But today's lesson was important. If he isn't humble, he won't last

long,' Fred said, then looked at his watch. 'Promised the missus some time. I'm

off like a bride's nightie.'



‘Cheers!’ everyone cried. We clanged our dark brown bottles of XXXX beer, also

known as 'fourex' stubbies. 'Hi!' our server Hazel, too hot to be a waitress, hugged

Fred. 'Oooh...,' Fred's students egged him on after she left. 'No way, mate. The

missus won't tolerate me making eyes at anyone else,' Fred said. 'But you guys

are single. You must have pretty girls all over you in India.' Everyone looked at us.

'We don't have girlfriends,' Omi said.

'Why not? Indian women are
hot,'
said Michael, rolling his

'Too busy with work,' I said.

'Busy? Never heard a bloke too busy to root, mate,' Roger said.

Everyone laughed. Root meant, well, whatever. 'Check those honeys out,'

Michael said as four girls walked

in.

"The one in brown, she's ain't bad,' Michael said. 'NCR 5.'

'NCR 10,' Roger said.

'And the blue one?' Philip said.

'She's NCR 0. Bring it on, man,' Roger said. Everyone laughed.

'What's NCR?' I asked as there was a whiff of maths in the

air.

'NCR is Number of Cans Required. The amount of beer yoi need to drink to

want to have sex with a girl,' Fred said.

'Michael dated an ugly bitch once. He admits it, NCR 40 Roger said. Everyone

roared with laughter.

'Here you go, hungry boys,' Hazel said in a flirtatious tone she passed the

plates.

The Australians mainly ate meat dishes. We had stuck to a pizza as it was the

only recognisable choice.

'You got to do more protein,' Michael said, his biceps flexing, as he ate.

Omi said, I drink two litres of milk everyday.'

Ish sat next to Fred. I could not hear their conversation However, I saw Ish's

frequent nods. I left the Aussie rooting stories and moved to Ish.

'If you're the bowler and you've got the ball in your hand, you're controlling the

game. You've got to make sure the batsman know who's the boss,' Fred was

saying. 'Same for Ali. He doesn't just need to hit shots, he needs to show the

other team who is the boss.' 'Right,' Ish said.

My players will eventually figure out new ways to bowl to Ali. A determined

mind can counter a gift. A champion has both.' Ish nodded.

Hi Govind!' Fred had spotted me. 'Don't want rooting tips? We are just doing

boring coach talk.'

Ish's chest swelled with pride as Fred had called him equal in role.

I remembered something. 'You mentioned a scholarship yesterday. What's

that? In fact, how does the whole sports thing work
in Australia.'

'You want to know why Australia always wins?'

it doesn't always win,' Ish said.

'Not always, thank goodness. We love to dominate opponents, hut also love a

fight. When there's a challenge, it brings out the

best.
'

'Yeah, even if not every time, Australia does win a lot. Every Olympics, there is

pile of medals for Australia. In cricket, the domination continues. How come,

Fred?' 1 said.

'Plenty of reasons, mate. But it wasn't always like this.' Fred sipped his

sparkling water, in fact, in the 1976 Olympic games in Montreal, Australia didn't

win a single medal.' 'But you guys did well last year,' Ish said. 'Yes, in Sydney

2000. Australia won 56 medals, only after USA, Russia and China. All these

countries have ten times as many people.' He paused. 'Aussies saw the Montreal

fiasco as a national shame. So the government set up the Australian Institute of

Sports or the AIS and initiated the world's best scholarship programme.' Fred

finished his glass of water and continued:

'And today the AIS has hundreds of staff - coaches, doctors and physios. They

get two hundred million dollars of funding| and have excellent facilities. And at

the heart of it all, they offer seven hundred scholarships a year.' Fred pushed the

spaghetti plate towards me.

I listened as I struggled with the ribbon-like pasta. I calculated how seven

hundred scholarships for twenty million people would equate to for India. That

was the equivalent of thirty-five thousad sports scholarships a year for India to

match the ratio.

'What's the scholarship? Money?' Ish wanted to know.

'Not just money, mate. It is full on. Expert coaching accommodation, travel to

tournaments, sports science, medicine -you name it. And the best part is to be

part of that communit where everyone has a singular commitment to their sport. I

can't describe that feeling,' Fred said, as his eyes lit up.

'I know the feeling,' Ish said. Even though Ish's eyes aren't blue. they shone as

bright.

The waiters cleared our plates as we finished our food.

'Any famous players from this scholarship programme?'

'Heaps. Michael Bevan, Adam Gilchrist, Justin Langer, Damien Martyn, Glenn

McGrath, Ricky Ponting, Andrew Symonds, Shane Warne...'

'What are you talking about? These are all cricketing legends Ish said.