Authors: Agatha Christie
M
r. Alexander Bonaparte Cust rose from his seat and peered near-sightedly round the shabby bedroom. His back was stiff from sitting in a cramped position and as he stretched himself to his full height an onlooker would have realized that he was, in reality, quite a tall man. His stoop and his near-sighted peering gave a delusive impression.
Going to a well-worn overcoat hanging on the back of the door, he took from the pocket a packet of cheap cigarettes and some matches. He lit a cigarette and then returned to the table at which he had been sitting. He picked up a railway guide and consulted it, then he returned to the consideration of a typewritten list of names. With a pen, he made a tick against one of the first names on the list.
It was Thursday, June 20th.
I
had been impressed at the time by Poirot's forebodings about the anonymous letter he had received, but I must admit that the matter had passed from my mind when the 21st actually arrived and the first reminder of it came with a visit paid to my friend by Chief Inspector Japp of Scotland Yard. The CID inspector had been known to us for many years and he gave me a hearty welcome.
“Well, I never,” he exclaimed. “If it isn't Captain Hastings back from the wilds of the what do you call it! Quite like old days seeing you here with Monsieur Poirot. You're looking well, too. Just a little bit thin on top, eh? Well, that's what we're all coming to. I'm the same.”
I winced slightly. I was under the impression that owing to the careful way I brushed my hair across the top of my head the thinness referred to by Japp was quite unnoticeable. However, Japp had never been remarkable for tact where I was concerned, so I put a good face upon it and agreed that we were none of us getting any younger.
“Except Monsieur Poirot here,” said Japp. “Quite a good adver
tisement for a hair tonic, he'd be. Face fungus sprouting finer than ever. Coming out into the limelight, too, in his old age. Mixed up in all the celebrated cases of the day. Train mysteries, air mysteries, high society deathsâoh, he's here, there and everywhere. Never been so celebrated as since he retired.”
“I have already told Hastings that I am like the prima donna who makes always one more appearance,” said Poirot, smiling.
“I shouldn't wonder if you ended by detecting your own death,” said Japp, laughing heartily. “That's an idea, that is. Ought to be put in a book.”
“It will be Hastings who will have to do that,” said Poirot, twinkling at me.
“Ha ha! That would be a joke, that would,” laughed Japp.
I failed to see why the idea was so extremely amusing, and in any case I thought the joke was in poor taste. Poirot, poor old chap, is getting on. Jokes about his approaching demise can hardly be agreeable to him.
Perhaps my manner showed my feelings, for Japp changed the subject.
“Have you heard about Monsieur Poirot's anonymous letter?”
“I showed it to Hastings the other day,” said my friend.
“Of course,” I exclaimed. “It had quite slipped my memory. Let me see, what was the date mentioned?”
“The 21st,” said Japp. “That's what I dropped in about. Yesterday was the 21st and just out of curiosity I rang up Andover last night. It was a hoax all right. Nothing doing. One broken shop windowâkid throwing stonesâand a couple of drunk and disorderlies. So just for once our Belgian friend was barking up the wrong tree.”
“I am relieved, I must confess,” acknowledged Poirot.
“You'd quite got the wind up about it, hadn't you?” said Japp affectionately. “Bless you, we get dozens of letters like that coming in every day! People with nothing better to do and a bit weak in the top storey sit down and write 'em. They don't mean any harm! Just a kind of excitement.”
“I have indeed been foolish to take the matter so seriously,” said Poirot. “It is the nest of the horse that I put my nose into there.”
“You're mixing up mares and wasps,” said Japp.
“Pardon?”
“Just a couple of proverbs. Well, I must be off. Got a little business in the next street to see toâreceiving stolen jewellery. I thought I'd just drop in on my way and put your mind at rest. Pity to let those grey cells function unnecessarily.”
With which words and a hearty laugh, Japp departed.
“He does not change much, the good Japp, eh?” asked Poirot.
“He looks much older,” I said. “Getting as grey as a badger,” I added vindictively.
Poirot coughed and said:
“You know, Hastings, there is a little deviceâmy hairdresser is a man of great ingenuityâone attaches it to the scalp and brushes one's own hair over itâit is not a wig, you comprehendâbutâ”
“Poirot,” I roared. “Once and for all I will have nothing to do with the beastly inventions of your confounded hairdresser. What's the matter with the top of my head?”
“Nothingânothing at all.”
“It's not as though I were going
bald.
”
“Of course not! Of course not!”
“The hot summers out there naturally cause the hair to fall out a bit. I shall take back a really good hair tonic.”
“Précisément.”
“And, anyway, what business is it of Japp's? He always was an offensive kind of devil. And no sense of humour. The kind of man who laughs when a chair is pulled away just as a man is about to sit down.”
“A great many people would laugh at that.”
“It's utterly senseless.”
“From the point of view of the man about to sit, certainly it is.”
“Well,” I said, slightly recovering my temper. (I admit that I am touchy about the thinness of my hair.) “I'm sorry that anonymous letter business came to nothing.”
“I have indeed been in the wrong over that. About that letter, there was, I thought, the odour of the fish. Instead a mere stupidity. Alas, I grow old and suspicious like the blind watchdog who growls when there is nothing there.”
“If I'm going to cooperate with you, we must look about for some other âcreamy' crime,” I said with a laugh.
“You remember your remark of the other day? If you could order a crime as one orders a dinner, what would you choose?”
I fell in with his humour.
“Let me see now. Let's review the menu. Robbery? Forgery? No, I think not. Rather too vegetarian. It must be murderâred-blooded murderâwith trimmings, of course.”
“Naturally. The
hors d'oeuvres
.”
“Who shall the victim beâman or woman? Man, I think. Some bigwig. American millionaire. Prime Minister. Newspaper
proprietor. Scene of the crimeâwell, what's wrong with the good old library? Nothing like it for atmosphere. As for the weaponâwell, it might be a curiously twisted daggerâor some blunt instrumentâa carved stone idolâ”
Poirot sighed.
“Or, of course,” I said, “there's poisonâbut that's always so technical. Or a revolver shot echoing in the night. Then there must be a beautiful girl or twoâ”
“With auburn hair,” murmured my friend.
“Your same old joke. One of the beautiful girls, of course, must be unjustly suspectedâand there's some misunderstanding between her and the young man. And then, of course, there must be some other suspectsâan older womanâdark, dangerous typeâand some friend or rival of the dead man'sâand a quiet secretaryâdark horseâand a hearty man with a bluff mannerâand a couple of discharged servants or gamekeepers or somethingsâand a damn fool of a detective rather like Jappâand wellâthat's about all.”
“That is your idea of the cream, eh?”
“I gather you don't agree.”
Poirot looked at me sadly.
“You have made there a very pretty résumé of nearly all the detective stories that have ever been written.”
“Well,” I said. “What would
you
order?”
Poirot closed his eyes and leaned back in his chair. His voice came purringly from between his lips.
“A very simple crime. A crime with no complications. A crime of quiet domestic lifeâ¦very unimpassionedâvery
intime.
”
“How can a crime be
intime?
”
“Supposing,” murmured Poirot, “that four people sit down to play bridge and one, the odd man out, sits in a chair by the fire. At the end of the evening the man by the fire is found dead. One of the four, while he is dummy, has gone over and killed him, and intent on the play of the hand, the other three have not noticed. Ah, there would be a crime for you!
Which of the four was it?
”
“Well,” I said. “I can't see
any
excitement in that!”
Poirot threw me a glance of reproof.
“No, because there are no curiously twisted daggers, no blackmail, no emerald that is the stolen eye of a god, no untraceable Eastern poisons. You have the melodramatic soul, Hastings. You would like, not one murder, but a series of murders.”
“I admit,” I said, “that a second murder in a book often cheers things up. If the murder happens in the first chapter, and you have to follow up everybody's alibi until the last page but oneâwell, it does get a bit tedious.”
The telephone rang and Poirot rose to answer.
“'Allo,” he said. “'Allo. Yes, it is Hercule Poirot speaking.”
He listened for a minute or two and then I saw his face change.
His own side of the conversation was short and disjointed.
“Mais ouiâ¦.”
“Yes, of courseâ¦.”
“But yes, we will comeâ¦.”
“Naturallyâ¦.”
“It may be as you sayâ¦.”
“Yes, I will bring it.
A tout à l'heure
then.”
He replaced the receiver and came across the room to me.
“That was Japp speaking, Hastings.”
“Yes?”
“He had just got back to the Yard. There was a message from Andoverâ¦.”
“Andover?” I cried excitedly.
Poirot said slowly:
“An old woman of the name of Ascher who keeps a little tobacco and newspaper shop has been found murdered.”
I think I felt ever so slightly damped. My interest, quickened by the sound of Andover, suffered a faint check. I had expected something fantasticâout of the way! The murder of an old woman who kept a little tobacco shop seemed, somehow, sordid and uninteresting.
Poirot continued in the same slow, grave voice:
“The Andover police believe they can put their hand on the man who did itâ”
I felt a second throb of disappointment.
“It seems the woman was on bad terms with her husband. He drinks and is by way of being rather a nasty customer. He's threatened to take her life more than once.
“Nevertheless,” continued Poirot, “in view of what has happened, the police there would like to have another look at the anonymous letter I received. I have said that you and I will go down to Andover at once.”
My spirits revived a little. After all, sordid as this crime seemed to be, it was a
crime,
and it was a long time since I had had any association with crime and criminals.
I hardly listened to the next words Poirot said. But they were to come back to me with significance later.
“This is the beginning,” said Hercule Poirot.
W
e were received at Andover by Inspector Glen, a tall fair-haired man with a pleasant smile.
For the sake of conciseness I think I had better give a brief résumé of the bare facts of the case.
The crime was discovered by Police Constable Dover at 1 am on the morning of the 22nd. When on his round he tried the door of the shop and found it unfastened, he entered and at first thought the place was empty. Directing his torch over the counter, however, he caught sight of the huddled-up body of the old woman. When the police surgeon arrived on the spot it was elicited that the woman had been struck down by a heavy blow on the back of the head, probably while she was reaching down a packet of cigarettes from the shelf behind the counter. Death must have occurred about nine to seven hours previously.
“But we've been able to get it down a bit nearer than that,” explained the inspector. “We've found a man who went in and bought some tobacco at 5:30. And a second man went in and found
the shop empty, as he thought, at five minutes past six. That puts the time at between 5:30 and 6:5. So far I haven't been able to find anyone who saw this man Ascher in the neighbourhood, but, of course, it's early as yet. He was in the Three Crowns at nine o'clock pretty far gone in drink. When we get hold of him he'll be detained on suspicion.”
“Not a very desirable character, inspector?” asked Poirot.
“Unpleasant bit of goods.”
“He didn't live with his wife?”
“No, they separated some years ago. Ascher's a German. He was a waiter at one time, but he took to drink and gradually became unemployable. His wife went into service for a bit. Her last place was as cook-housekeeper to an old lady, Miss Rose. She allowed her husband so much out of her wages to keep himself, but he was always getting drunk and coming round and making scenes at the places where she was employed. That's why she took the post with Miss Rose at The Grange. It's three miles out of Andover, dead in the country. He couldn't get at her there so well. When Miss Rose died, she left Mrs. Ascher a small legacy, and the woman started this tobacco and newsagent businessâquite a tiny placeâjust cheap cigarettes and a few newspapersâthat sort of thing. She just about managed to keep going. Ascher used to come round and abuse her now and again and she used to give him a bit to get rid of him. She allowed him fifteen shillings a week regular.”
“Had they any children?” asked Poirot.
“No. There's a niece. She's in service near Overton. Very superior, steady young woman.”
“And you say this man Ascher used to threaten his wife?”
“That's right. He was a terror when he was in drinkâcursing
and swearing that he'd bash her head in. She had a hard time, did Mrs. Ascher.”
“What age of woman was she?”
“Close on sixtyârespectable and hard-working.”
Poirot said gravely:
“It is your opinion, inspector, that this man Ascher committed the crime?”
The inspector coughed cautiously.
“It's a bit early to say that, Mr. Poirot, but I'd like to hear Franz Ascher's own account of how he spent yesterday evening. If he can give a satisfactory account of himself, well and goodâif notâ”
His pause was a pregnant one.
“Nothing was missing from the shop?”
“Nothing. Money in the till quite undisturbed. No signs of robbery.”
“You think that this man Ascher came into the shop drunk, started abusing his wife and finally struck her down?”
“It seems the most likely solution. But I must confess, sir, I'd like to have another look at that very odd letter you received. I was wondering if it was just possible that it came from this man Ascher.”
Poirot handed over the letter and the inspector read it with a frown.
“It doesn't read like Ascher,” he said at last. “I doubt if Ascher would use the term âour' British policeânot unless he was trying to be extra cunningâand I doubt if he's got the wits for that. Then the man's a wreckâall to pieces. His hand's too shaky to print letters clearly like this. It's good quality notepaper and ink, too. It's odd that the letter should mention the 21st of the month. Of course it
might
be coincidence.”
“That is possibleâyes.”
“But I don't like this kind of coincidence, Mr. Poirot. It's a bit too pat.”
He was silent for a minute or twoâa frown creasing his forehead.
“A B C. Who the devil could A B C be? We'll see if Mary Drower (that's the niece) can give us any help. It's an odd business. But for this letter I'd have put my money on Franz Ascher for a certainty.”
“Do you know anything of Mrs. Ascher's past?”
“She's a Hampshire woman. Went into service as a girl up in Londonâthat's where she met Ascher and married him. Things must have been difficult for them during the war. She actually left him for good in 1922. They were in London then. She came back here to get away from him, but he got wind of where she was and followed her down here, pestering her for moneyâ” A constable came in. “Yes, Briggs, what is it?”
“It's the man Ascher, sir. We've brought him in.”
“Right. Bring him in here. Where was he?”
“Hiding in a truck on the railway siding.”
“He was, was he? Bring him along.”
Franz Ascher was indeed a miserable and unprepossessing specimen. He was blubbering and cringing and blustering alternately. His bleary eyes moved shiftily from one face to another.
“What do you want with me? I have not done nothing. It is a shame and a scandal to bring me here! You are swine, how dare you?” His manner changed suddenly. “No, no, I do not mean thatâyou would not hurt a poor old manânot be hard on him. Everyone is hard on poor old Franz. Poor old Franz.”
Mr. Ascher started to weep.
“That'll do, Ascher,” said the inspector. “Pull yourself together. I'm not charging you with anythingâyet. And you're not bound to make a statement unless you like. On the other hand, if you're
not
concerned in the murder of your wifeâ”
Ascher interrupted himâhis voice rising to a scream.
“I did not kill her! I did not kill her! It is all lies! You are god-damned English pigsâall against me. I never kill herânever.”
“You threatened to often enough, Ascher.”
“No, no. You do not understand. That was just a jokeâa good joke between me and Alice. She understood.”
“Funny kind of joke! Do you care to say where you were yesterday evening, Ascher?”
“Yes, yesâI tell you everything. I did not go near Alice. I am with friendsâgood friends. We are at the Seven Starsâand then we are at the Red Dogâ”
He hurried on, his words stumbling over each other.
“Dick Willowsâhe was with meâand old Curdieâand Georgeâand Platt and lots of the boys. I tell you I do not never go near Alice. Ach Gott, it is the truth I am telling you.”
His voice rose to a scream. The inspector nodded to his underling.
“Take him away. Detained on suspicion.”
“I don't know what to think,” he said as the unpleasant, shaking old man with the malevolent, mouthing jaw was removed. “If it wasn't for the letter, I'd say he did it.”
“What about the men he mentions?”
“A bad crowdânot one of them would stick at perjury. I've no doubt he
was
with them the greater part of the evening. A lot
depends on whether any one saw him near the shop between half past five and six.”
Poirot shook his head thoughtfully.
“You are sure nothing was taken from the shop?”
The inspector shrugged his shoulders.
“That depends. A packet or two of cigarettes might have been takenâbut you'd hardly commit murder for that.”
“And there was nothingâhow shall I put itâintroduced into the shop? Nothing that was odd thereâincongruous?”
“There was a railway guide,” said the inspector.
“A railway guide?”
“Yes. It was open and turned face downward on the counter. Looked as though someone had been looking up the trains from Andover. Either the old woman or a customer.”
“Did she sell that type of thing?”
The inspector shook his head.
“She sold penny timetables. This was a big oneâkind of thing only Smith's or a big stationer would keep.”
A light came into Poirot's eyes. He leant forward.
A light came into the inspector's eye also.
“A railway guide, you say. A Bradshawâ
or an A B C?
”
“By the lord,” he said. “It
was
an A B C.”