The Actor (11 page)

This could
have ended much worse. Maybe I’m not a lost cause.

He paused, and
Laura glanced up at him with a question in her eyes.

“It’s a long
way home, I need to use the restroom. I’ll be right back.”

She lifted an
eyebrow and he pulled her closer and kissed her temple. He should say something
to ease the worry in her eyes.

“You can come
with me if you want. I mean, you’ve seen him a million times before.”

“Oh no, I’m not
watching you pee. Just hurry back.”

Why do I
always get this warm feeling in my chest when she’s near?

“You’re too
cute.”

The smile
stayed on his lips until he left the restroom, but faded quickly when Joel
waited outside, back leaned against a wall.

“Where the hell
have you been, man? I haven’t seen you since forever. You don’t answer your
phone, one could almost think you’re avoiding me.”

Marc shrugged
and glanced around.

Babe, this
would be a really good time to show up.

He saw her
close to the front door, but she had her back turned, talking to Lawrence.

Crap. Okay,
I’m an adult and I can do this on my own. Just put one foot in front of the
other and go towards the door. How hard can it be? How many times has she told
you to go home when hanging with Joel almost killed you?

His old party
buddy slapped his back. “C’mon, I’ve gotta show you something.”

Say no. Just
say no and walk away.

His feet
walked, but in the wrong direction, following Joel towards a back room.

Okay, maybe
I can stay for just five minutes, for old time’s sake.

“Look what I
have. It’s from Colombia.”

“I gotta go. My
girl is waiting.”

“Oh, you have
time to try a little. You’ve been gone fucking forever.”

The reasonable
voice that told him to leave quieted, and the devil on his shoulder grew
louder.

Just a little
would make him feel so good.

Laura
doesn’t have to know. You’re already drunk, she won’t notice.

The months with
her had made him forget how much he wanted it, and it was there, so close.

Laura waited,
shifting her weight from foot to foot, pretending she wasn’t waiting.

Should she go
look for him? She didn’t want him to think she didn’t trust him, but the truth
was, she didn’t trust him.

After a few
more minutes she didn’t want to go anymore.

Nothing good
can come out of this. Maybe I’m happier not knowing just a little while longer.

She took her
cell phone out of the purse. No messages.

Well, at
least I can check Facebook.

Before she got
a smartphone of her own, she wondered why people always played with them. Now,
it made perfect sense. Whenever there was a risk of looking lost or lonely, the
phone kept one busy and gave credibility to being alone. Eating on one’s own or
even sitting alone could be gruesome, but playing with a phone made it legit.

After twenty
minutes she couldn’t justify waiting anymore.

Fuck. I
shouldn’t have to go with you to pee.

She put the
phone back in the little purse and walked towards the restrooms, attempting to
smile and look merry in spite of the giant boulder resting on her chest. No one
stopped her, and no one talked to her.

Marc met her
after just a few steps down the corridor. He was pale and sweaty, and his
pupils much too large.

This can’t
be good. Well, at least he came back. I expected him to disappear off with some
busty blondes never to be seen again.

He trailed his
lips over her neck.

“Babe, I’m so
horny, come on.”

“I want to go
home. You need to follow me home.”

He tugged
towards a door, muttering, “Yes, yes, in a minute,” and she followed automatically,
into a closet filled with suits and shirts.

What the
hell are we doing in here? Oh no.

He inched her
dress up over her hips, let his pants fall down around his feet and took her.

“Oh yes, babe,
that feels so fucking good.”

Great. Just
hurry up and get it over with.

She certainly
didn’t want him to go to someone else, so she only protested a little. She
had
wanted to have sex with him anyway, just not right
there.

Afterwards, his
sperm trailed down her leg.

Eeeww,
disgusting. With any luck you’ve made a big wet spot somewhere on the dress
too.

Marc already
had his hand on the door handle.

“Wait.”

He looked back
with an impatient, eerie stare.

Okay Laura,
tread lightly. You can bring him home or lose him. Your Marc is in there,
somewhere.

Keeping her
tone light was a struggle; it would be much easier to yell at him, or why not
panic.

Those women
were right. She was in over her head.

“You made a
mess. I have to dry off with something.”

Her lover
grumbled something unintelligible and pulled a shirt down from a hanger,
shoving it into her hands.

“This is
someone’s, I can’t use this.”

He rolled his
eyes and went down on his knees to dry her off.

Don’t kick
him, Laura. Whatever you do, do not kick him.

She looked down
at his untidy hair.

“Now can we go
home?”

“Sure, but
loosen up, learn to live a little.”

He got back to
his feet and she tucked her hands around his arm. “Right now, I think you’re
loose enough for the both of us.”

A few steps
from the closet, they met a man accompanied by a very tall redhead with dark
skin and long red nails.

Is that a
man or a woman? Either way, she needs a longer dress.

The other man
was in worse shape than Marc, and seemed unable to focus his eyes on them. He
still grinned.

“My man, there
you are. Come have a drink.”

She squeezed
Marc’s arm. “No. We’re going home.”

No one
listened. The stranger held out a glass with golden liquid and Marc emptied it.
Then, he stared at the glass and frowned.

“What the hell
do you have in this thing?”

Great, more
booze and drugs, just what you need.

The other man
ignored the question. “Who is this beauty you’ve been hiding from me?”

Marc wrapped
his arms around her, a little too hard.

“Joel, this is
my girlfriend, and if you touch her or put any of your shit even near her, I’ll
kill you so help me God.”

You’re Joel,
huh? I’ve heard a lot about you.

Joel backed up
a step and held his hands out.

“Alright,
alright. Damn you’re serious today. C’mon man, we need to go out back.”

Say
something! Take command of the situation!

Pep-talking
herself helped, and she was surprised to find her own voice come out strong and
steady. “No. You don’t need to go out back. We are going home.”

Marc swayed and
fumbled for the car keys in his pocket. She stared into his eyes. “You’re
coming with me.”

The words
seemed to make him uncertain. Joel nodded towards the back room.

“Come on man,
it won’t wait forever.”

Marc took a
step to follow, and Laura grabbed his arm, surprised over her own ability and
will to get physical over this.

Who gave
this idiot the remote control that makes you walk and talk?

“If you’re
going back there, I’m going to. You don’t want that, do you?”

Frowning, he
made a visible attempt to straighten up and think. “No. You… I love you.”

Shame you
don’t love yourself a little too.

“Yes you do,
and I love you. That’s why you’re coming with
me
this time. If you want
more cocaine or whatever the fuck he has back there, you can do that tomorrow.
Right now, you’re mine.”

She put every
ounce of willpower into the words.

Way to go,
amateur psychiatrist.

To her delight,
Marc raised his hand. “Bye Joel.”

Joel took a
step forward, and Laura glared.

If you say
one more word, move one more inch in Marc’s direction, I will kick you and beat
you. You know how that will end; he’ll take my side.

The thoughts
must have showed in her eyes and face. Joel shrunk back.

*****

Laura didn’t
exactly carry Marc to the car, he was much too big for that, but he leaned
heavily on her, and they swerved over the snowy ground.

“What the fuck
did that fucker give me?”

And you were
still about to follow him. Sheesh.

“See, that’s
why you don’t take other people’s glasses and empty them.”

“Fuck.”

“I know you
know more words than that one.”

“Sure… I just
can’t fucking walk.”

I’m happy
you can walk at all; you can barely talk.

“Give me the
keys, handsome.”

He shook his
head and tried to free himself from her grip.

“No... I’m
driving you home.”

The Escalade
seemed impossibly big, black, shiny, and intimidating. Having
him
drive
was still out of the question.

It’s just a
car. How hard can it be?

“No lover, it’s
my turn. I’ve never driven it and I want to try. Give me the key, okay?”

“Fine… Women…”

She had to help
him into the passenger seat, and once she got in herself, she fumbled with the
controls.

I can’t even
reach the pedals. Just how tall are you?

After a couple
of minutes, the GPS annoyed Marc, and he fumbled with turning it off.

“Fuck. In the
old days you could throw them out the window, now the entire fucking dash goes
with it.”

“Yes, well, I
kinda need it to find our way home, so it’s probably for the best.”

He leaned back
and ran his hands over his face. “Pull over will you.”

She obeyed
without hesitation and he stumbled out of the car, leaning against a railing by
the side of the road, puking his guts out. Laura rested her forehead against
the steering wheel.

I wonder if
anyone would judge me for killing Joel?

Marc fell over
and sat on his butt on the icy road.

Crap. I’ll
never get him up.

“C’mon
handsome, I need you to get in the car. Hold on to me.”

He stared at
her without recognition for a long moment.

“Okay.”

Be nice,
Laura. Alienating him won’t make anything better. Keep your mouth shut so he
doesn’t decide to walk home and end up freezing to death or something.

Discussions
were better left for the morning. Google had informed her addicts were best
approached when suffering the consequences of their deeds, and the idea made
sense. It was still difficult to keep her mouth shut.

Once they got
home, Marc leaned heavily on her, but stopped outside the front door, swaying
from side to side.

“I’ve gotta
take a piss.”

Normal
people would go inside and do that in the restroom, not in front of a security
camera…

He was too far
gone to care about little details like that. He was also too far gone to be
able to pull his zipper up, and the big man staggering into his house, holding
his pants with one hand, heading for the kitchen muttering he needed a drink
seemed comical even to her.

Why can’t
you just pass out like normal people? Sleep it off somewhere, don’t make it
worse.

She wanted to
hyperventilate, or throw a fit, maybe lock herself in a closet and not come out
of a couple of days. She took a deep breath instead and followed him to the
kitchen.

Marc struggled
with a bottle of scotch that wouldn’t come open: it required more coordination
than he could muster at the moment.

She took it out
of his hands, put it on the counter, and wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Come to bed
with me.”

She didn’t
expect him to obey, but he followed her into the bedroom and even let her help
get the jacket and shoes off. Falling backwards into bed, he snored before his
head hit the pillow, and she unbuttoned the top of his shirt.

Kissing his
hair, she whispered, “You almost made it. It’s my fault too. You asked me to go
with you. If I had taken you seriously, we would have been home hours ago.”

Sinking down on
the edge of the bed, she kicked her shoes off.

A shower
would be good, but it’s too late. It’ll have to wait.

The phone rang,
making her jump.

Marc didn’t
stir.

Should I
answer? Well, I live here now, and if I am to put up with this shit, I guess
it’s my phone too. If it’s a girl or a drug dealer I’d rather know than wonder.
It better not be Joel. I’ll kill him.

She did not
expect to hear Lawrence’s voice at two in the morning.

“Hey Laura, I
just wanted to check in on you guys. I heard things went overboard. Are you
okay?”

His
thoughtfulness formed a lump in her throat, and hot tears welled up in her
eyes. She needed to swallow before she could answer.

“Yeah. I’m
okay.”

Lawrence
sighed. “And Marc?”

“Still to be
determined. He’s sleeping now.”

Thomas’s voice
spoke to the side. “Is that Laura? Poor girl, let me talk to her.”

Lawrence handed
over the phone, and she said, “Hi Thomas. You guys are so sweet checking up on
me.”

“You missed a
commotion when you left. Bill, Lawrence, and I were heading out, we just saw
you leave. So, this party deuce bag comes running after you, dragging a
six-foot transvestite along. Anyway, Bill stepped up and punched party-boy
right in the face. Said if he ever comes near you two again, he’ll regret it.”

“Bill can be
scary. He sure scared me first time we met.”

Thomas didn’t
answer at once.

Are you guys
holding a secret conversation, trying to decide how much to tell me?

“It’s
night-night time for me, honey. Remember Marc came back to you, and he left
with you. You have influence over him.”

In spite of the
late hour, she lay awake for a long time, staring up at the ceiling, thinking
of her friend’s words.

*****

When Marc
eventually woke up, the house was quiet, and much too bright sunlight sifted in
through the curtains.

I think my
head is about to explode. Am I home? How did I get here?

Rising up and
making his way to the restroom seemed more work than it was worth, but he
zigzagged over there anyway. At least no one was there to see him lean on
furniture along the way.

Laura’s stuff
was still spread all over and he drew a sigh of relief.

Thank God, I
expected her to be long gone by now.

The bed called
out to him, but he couldn’t afford to lie back down. He needed to know if she
was still there.

He made his way
through the house. There were no signs of her, no sounds except his own
breathing and heart beating.

Please be in
the kitchen. Please, please, please be in the kitchen.

The relief he
felt when he saw her stand by a counter, slicing a tomato, made him want to
weep. He slumped on a chair and ran his hands over his face.

I should
apologize. There’s a million things I should say to her, but I got nothing.

The room
revolved slowly around him and he closed his eyes, hoping not looking would
help fight the queasiness. A hand touched his shoulder and he peeked out
through his fingers. Laura put a glass with orange juice in front of him, and
he could feel her kiss the top of his head.

The gentle
gesture broke his paralysis and he pulled her onto his lap.

“I’m so sorry.”

“I know.”

He barely heard
her.

“I don’t
remember much of yesterday, but I hope I wasn’t too horrible. Can you forgive
me?”