“You’re ass may be blushing madly, Alexandra. But I cannot ignore this,” he said, not coldly, but with fiery passion. He had his hand at my pussy, holding it so tightly; if I’d had just seconds more of his grasp, I might have exploded right there against his palm.
As he spoke to me, there were others around me, removing me from the beam and lowering me to a table. My legs were spread, my pussy splayed and with a smaller ‘cat’ Reggie flailed my softest, most vulnerable flesh.
I groaned and cried, letting my wails reach beyond the walls of this old edifice perhaps; and yet, I couldn’t deny the pleasure that began to build into a startling climax. And then, before I knew what was happening, Reggie was between my legs with his cock plowing into my pussy. He was large, filling me full, opening me wide. I gasped loudly. His thrusts were like some dark heaven of pleasure, deep at the core of my desire. Within seconds I was about climax again; and then we were lost, just another cock, and me another cumming cunt joined in this instant of release. I heard him grunt, then the groaning cry of pleasure I so longed to hear. We remained suspended in that moment for what felt like an eternity – although it was likely just a few brief seconds.
As the sensations slowly began to pass away he withdrew from me.
I didn’t see his eyes; he wasn’t looking at me.
Reggie gave me little time to bask in the pleasure, or to be bothered by his lack of attention to me after our mutual orgasm. A cold splash of liquid that smelled medicinal suddenly hit my hot cunt. I spasmed again feeling the contrast of hot and cold, but was soon overcome by a tingling pain at the lips of my cunt. Reggie stood between my parted thighs, his hands gloved in latex, the glint of a needle in one. With eyes keenly focused on my crotch, he tugged the fold of flesh above my clit, then pinched it tightly between thumb and index fingers and ran the needle through the slip of skin. The stinging burn was instantaneous but over quickly. Left inside the thin folds of my sex was a tiny ring, his mark on me. The satisfaction and the justice of his act made me smile. I wanted more, more of him now that I belonged to him.
Before I could breathe easily again, I was removed from the table and turned over so that I was bound on hands and knees at cock height again. From this submissive position, Reggie took me in my ass, pummeling me hard without thought of how hard and mean the taking might be. For as much as I’d been worked over, I was still not prepared for the violent force that claimed me, but rather than protest, I welcomed the wildness of his spirit, something quite unlike the well-controlled Reggie I knew. However, he gave me little time to savor the moment. Just when I thought I was full enough, a cock forced its way into my mouth, then another after that, and another, until I became nothing but a toy for them to use. Rather than protest as I might have weeks before, I surrendered. I eagerly welcomed all that entered me. I have no idea how many men took me that night. There was nothing that I wouldn’t gladly take because this was Reggie’s fantasy and for that reason, I was pleased to be so thoroughly used. The orgasms crescendoed and fell away, crescendoed and fell away – a dozen times perhaps. I wasn’t counting. Once the men had been satisfied, the anonymous others drifted elsewhere, exiting the dungeon. I would never know them, never be able to thank them for their attention to me. They left silently, taking with them the security of their numbers.
When they all slipped away except for just one, I realized that it was Reggie and me together at last alone, exactly what I wanted most.
My desire bloomed once again as my imagination demanded something more. Exhausted in the most satisfying way, I was ready to be caressed and kissed and tenderly soothed, ready for nurturing and softness to complete the cycle of sexuality, just as Will and the others had done for me on that night many days before.
When he came to me, I was still on hands and knees, but by only the most tenuous balance. His first touch was a gentle stroking, making me aware that every inch of my body had been roughened by hands or whip or strap or whatever other instruments. Reggie’s hands were a welcome counterpoint.
He lowered me to a mattress, a clean contrast to the grungy interior of the room. And then he kissed me gently on the face, my eyes, my cheeks and lips, beginning a slow meandering trail to my waist.
It should have been beautiful and sweet. It should have aroused me again in a softer way, like the same soft ending that had brought me back from the far out places I’d been when Will had taken me to that lovely place beyond. It should have been the final fulfillment for Reggie and me.
But it was not.
I waited for that miraculous something to happen, for the heavens to descend on me with a fierce kind of love, the kind to match the fierce sex we’d just shared.
However, something was missing.
I was in love, or at least I thought I was. I assumed there was a possibility that he loved me in return.
But there was no passion behind the gentleness, no tenderness that spoke to me of love. Only form, only movement as practiced as any skill could be. It was clear that he was uncomfortable, comforting me. And unsure. This was not what I expected, nothing like the fantasy my mind worked so hard to create. I longed for other hands. Ones whose passion for gentleness matched the passion for severity. The longer Reggie was there beside me, the more strange and unwelcome his attention became. I became uneasy and angry. He was ruining everything, and I despised him for his ineptness.
“What are you doing?” I suddenly blurted out.
This was all wrong!
I shook him off and rose from the mattress, wanting to be anywhere but in his company.
Months worth of high expectations crashed into the reality of this awful moment and I had no idea what to do.
He looked up at me dispassionately. Not sorry, not apologetic, not seeming to care. For a moment, I saw in Reggie that same sadness I’d seen during that amazing night with Will; the same sadness that had torn me away from Will and the others, and the gentle affection they offered.
“Damn you!” I whispered. I didn’t know what else to say.
He shook his head, only then a little sadness appearing in his placid expression. “I didn’t want you to choose this, Alex,” he said.
There was a fury simmering in me. “Why didn’t you tell me?” My own eyes bore down on him as his often had bored down into me.
“I thought I did,” he replied, “maybe not in so many words, but I did warn you. Even if I’d given you a stronger warning, would you have listened?”
Of course, I wouldn’t have.
“Truth is, I really had no idea how this would end. It was a gamble on my part as much as yours. I was willing to gamble one night to see if perhaps you were right about us and I was wrong.”
A gamble! A gamble?
I wanted to scream. At him, and at myself for believing that this paper doll of a man could have anything of substance behind his well-enacted dramas; for having illusions that there could even be the perfect master of my fantasies, that there might be such a man who could engineer my awakening, and could love me, too. I knew now why he was so distant, so cold. There was nothing more to the man than his finely executed theater.
He sat on the mattress as I paced the room, looking at the crumbling walls, at the brick and mortar lying strewn about the floor.
“You could have said something.”
“You wouldn’t have listened,” he repeated.
He was right. I was far too caught up in my fantasies to see him for what he really was. I sighed deeply, letting all the emotion, all the disappointment fall away. He did what I wanted him to do for me, why should I expect anything more?
“Why?” I asked.
“Why?” he returned.
“Why did you even agree to this knowing what I was hoping for?”
He looked at me with surprising frailty, fleeting though it would be.
“I suppose that there is part of me that keeps hoping I’ll break through my facades and find something deeper than the games.”
I was tired and exhausted, and for lack of anything better to do, I sank back down on the mattress at his side.
“But you never do?”
“No, I don’t.” He shrugged. “You’re much braver than I am, Alex. I could never take a journey of the heart like you’ve taken with your sexuality.”
“I don’t believe that. If I could create myself as I am, so could you create what you want,” I pleaded with him.
“I gave up, Alex, I gave up trying to change long ago.”
“And yet you haunt yourself with the possibility of tenderness and love?”
“Only in moments like these. And I don’t let them happen very often. Just with the few like you.”
For the first time, I was beginning to feel something real from him.
“But, my dear, there’s always another Alexandra waiting. And while you’re off
‘happily ever after’,
I’ll be doing what I do best and in some small way enjoying it.” There was that aristocratic triumph in his voice. That self-aware resignation, that acceptance of his fatal flaw. It almost resurrected the desires I’d once felt for him, but that would never really happen.
His previous advice about wanting my sexual awakening as much as I wanted him came back to haunt me. I could be grateful now. He’d taken me everywhere I’d wanted to go and left me a woman of choice, not fear, a woman prepared to combine lust of the body with the lust of heart. I couldn’t be anything but grateful for that.
Reggie helped me remove the garment of chains and slip into soft leggings and a billowy silk shirt. Before I dressed, I felt the ring that pierced me. I smiled at him as I felt it dangle against my clit.
“The ring, it’s really for me, not you,” I acknowledged.
“Yes it is,” he agreed.
“But that was one fantasy I never told you about.”
“You didn’t have to,” he snickered.
“I didn’t have to tell you a lot of things,” I added.
“What I lack in ability to love, I make up for in my ability to discern each woman’s private passion. And frankly, Alex, you were so easy because you desire so much. There was no way I could fail with you, at least in that regard.”
There was something tender and genuine in him now, but it didn’t exist beyond his dramas, and I needed more. I gazed around the strange room. I didn’t want to forget anything about my weeks with Reggie. But I knew that my time with him was finally over.
“I’m ready to leave,” I said.
“I’m glad,” he replied. “If you stayed any longer, I just might have changed my mind.” He was laughing lightly.
I was satisfied with his small admission. He wouldn’t forget me, that I knew.
The cool breeze of the dying night greeted us as we left. It would be morning soon, and I’d once again begin a new adventure.
Chapter Twenty-six
Walking up the apartment steps, I placed my key in the door and opened it. I hated most of what I saw. I’d tear the curtains down, recover the sofa, throw away the doilies and the hearts on the wall. They’d be replaced with bold colors, rich wood, and some decent art. I wasn’t the same sweet and gentle woman that had left so many weeks before. Maybe moving would be easier.
And yet, something in the room caught my eye. Out of place. A bowl. A blown glass bowl filled with fresh fruit – I’d seen it before. Beside it a bottle of Merlot. And the apartment that should have suffered from lack of care was clean. In the refrigerator was fresh food, vegetables, fruit and pasta sauce.
Will.
I’d wondered all day about us, about what had really happened in our relationship and where it would go now that my obsession with Reggie was over. The apartment said it all.
I was flying out the door, down the stairs and rapping on his door. “Will!” I shouted. I couldn’t wait to see him.
Then his face appeared and he greeted me with the most amazing grin.
“So, you’re back, huh?”
I threw my arms around him, hugged tight, and felt his body melt into mine. Oh yes, this was where I belonged! What a crazy means to discover that fact. What an amazing man to allow me the time and freedom to discover the woman inside of me. Not the fantasy woman but the real one.
I knew we’d be in bed together that night – or maybe we’d just roll around on the floor from my place to his, between a feast of spaghetti and wine and fruit and love. The possibilities had me giggling. We could create a million dramas and feast on lust forever. It was a moment of perfect bliss – though one I suspected would change over time. Nothing ever stays perfect, does it? But I had in Will what I needed most in a man. Thank god I’d finally come to my senses. He’d give me the darkness and the fire, but he’d also give me love. And all of that, I would willingly return.
Alexandra’s Dilemma
Chapter One
“You had the man spank you!” Will charged at me with eyes flashing. He’d never been angry like this – at least not that I could recall.
“I’m so sorry, honestly. I couldn’t help myself.”
“Couldn’t help yourself? Really?” He shook his head in disbelief. “So, how the hell did you find this man? Pluck him off the street, and say ‘please spank my bottom?’”
I bit my lip, knowing that this would never sound right to him, but I had to explain.