Authors: Amy Gutman
getting on with your lives. You didn’t give a shit about Dahlia.”
4
“It . . . it wasn’t like that.” Callie’s mouth was dry.
5
There was a shifting, a stirring, in her mind, a tectonic re-6
arrangement. She seemed to be looking down on the kitchen 7
from some omniscient place. A part of her was there with Tucker, 8
while a part of her was somewhere else. Then, as she spoke, it all 9
came clear, what was driving him.
10
“It wasn’t your fault,” she blurted out.
11
At the sound of her voice, he flinched.
12
“Shut up!” he said, waving the gun. But his eyes were full of 13
fear.
14
If only he’d been on time. If only he hadn’t been late.
She could see 15
it all so clearly now, as if she were inside him. How the guilt he’d 16
felt over Dahlia’s death had grown in him like a cancer. He’d 17
waited for the feelings to fade, but instead, they’d just grown 18
stronger. Finally, they’d become unbearable. Something in him 19
had snapped. In the end, he’d dealt with the self-hatred by pro-20
jecting it onto them.
21
“You didn’t do anything wrong.” She said the words slowly.
22
“Steven Gage was the one who killed her. He’s the one to blame.
23
The rest of us — we did the best we could under the circum-24
stances. You — we — aren’t responsible. We didn’t kill your sister.”
25
A strange feeling of lightness seemed to descend on her.
26
“We’re not responsible,” she said again. “We didn’t kill Dahlia.”
27
Tucker’s left eye had begun to twitch. He opened and closed 28
his mouth. A battle seemed to play itself out on the tortured face.
29
If only she could make him see, make him
understand.
But the 30
coldness was growing in his eyes.
31
“It
is
your fault,” he said.
32
“Tuck —” What should she call him? Which name was less 33
provocative? “It won’t help to kill me. Think about your daughter.”
34
But this time she’d miscalculated. Tucker leapt from his chair.
35 S
He waved his gun in front of her face. “Shut up! Shut up!” he 36 R
screamed.
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Then he was grabbing hold of her arm, yanking her upright.
1
“Enough talking,” he said to her. “Move. Down to the basement.”
2
3
h
4
Crouched in the bushes, he couldn’t quite see them through the 5
kitchen window. They must be sitting at the table, beyond his 6
range of vision. He could just make out the sound of voices, 7
though he couldn’t hear their words.
8
Careful not to make any noise, Rick edged to the left. He knew 9
that he was acting crazy, but he couldn’t help himself. She didn’t 10
want to see him. She’d made that quite clear. Yet a part of him 11
still believed that she loved him, needed him. He knew that he’d 12
hurt her. He was willing to wait. But even now, he couldn’t seem 13
to stay away from her.
14
He knew what was driving him: jealousy, pure and simple.
15
He wasn’t proud of the feeling. Still, there it was. It had always 16
slightly bothered him how Tod brought to mind that ex-boyfriend 17
of hers. And Tod, he’d begun to suspect, was more than fond of 18
Callie. The suspicion first came to him when Tod had agreed to 19
go dancing. What had clinched it, though, was when Tod was so 20
keen to get the night shift at Callie’s house.
21
And what business is that of yours?
22
The question hit him hard.
23
Suddenly, he was appalled at where he found himself. Acting 24
like some crazed stalker unwilling to let her go. If she wanted 25
nothing to do with him, he had to respect that choice. How had 26
it gotten to this point? He had to leave. Now.
27
Then, just as he started to turn, they crossed his line of vision.
28
He stared at the scene framed in the window. It didn’t make any 29
sense. Tod’s face was contorted in anger. Callie looked terrified.
30
Tod was pulling out his Glock, pointing the gun at Callie.
31
32
h
33
Even if she’d wanted to stand, her legs wouldn’t support her.
34
They felt like jelly, rubbery, out of her control. Once he got her S 35
down to the basement, she knew it would be all over. She had no R 36
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choice but to act now, but how could she take on Tucker? He was 2
larger, stronger, faster. And besides, he had a gun.
3
The most dangerous room in the house.
4
Rick’s words came back to her.
5
She thought of the knives on the kitchen counter, stowed in 6
their wooden block. They were just five or six steps away, but 7
she’d never get to them. On the stove was the skillet she’d 8
used for her sandwich, but that too was out of reach. She could 9
make a bolt for the kitchen door, but she wouldn’t get the locks 10
undone. For a moment, she was overcome by the irony of her 11
position. Steps she’d taken to protect herself now barred her 12
escape.
13
Her eyes fell on the mug of tea cooling in front of her. With 14
the fleeting hope that it was still hot, she grabbed the mug and 15
hurled. The mug hit Tucker square in the jaw. Tea flew every-16
where. Callie glimpsed his look of surprise as his head snapped 17
backward. Already, she was on her feet, rushing for the door. But 18
she’d only made it a few steps, when Tucker tackled her.
19
He grabbed a handful of hair and yanked. Callie shrieked with 20
pain. He threw her hard against the stove, and she buckled at the 21
waist, her cheek smashing down against a burner with a sudden 22
shooting spasm.
23
“Please! Stop!” she cried.
24
But just as the pain in her jaw subsided, she felt her arm 25
wrenched back. A burning sensation in her shoulder joint as the 26
gun gouged into her ribs.
27
“Goddamn it.” His voice was thick. “What the fuck are you 28
doing?”
29
Trembling, she waited for the gun to explode. But nothing, 30
nothing happened.
31
Her right arm lay limply by her side. Slowly, she snaked it for-32
ward, up along the counter, toward the cast-iron pan.
33
“What the hell —”
34
Tucker jerked her back, but he wasn’t fast enough.
35 S
She’d managed to grab the skillet. With all her strength, she 36 R
swung.
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As the pan smashed against Tucker’s side, Callie heard a crack.
1
He let out a whinnying bellow of pain. The gun dropped to the 2
floor.
3
For an electric moment they both stood there, Callie still 4
holding the skillet. She began to swing it back and forth. Tucker 5
jumped out of the way.
6
She edged closer to the gun, until she stood over it. But she 7
didn’t dare to try to pick it up and give Tucker a chance to attack.
8
Instead, she raised a leg and kicked the gun. It skittered across the 9
floor. She saw Tucker’s reflexive impulse to turn and look. But he 10
managed to resist the urge, keeping his eyes on her.
11
“You don’t have a chance,” he told her. His voice was con-12
temptuous.
13
Callie took a quick step forward and swung the pan at Tucker’s 14
head. But fast as she was, he managed to duck. He threw himself 15
at her.
16
Then they were both on the ground. Callie dropped the pan.
17
As Tucker wrapped a hand around her throat, Callie bit his arm.
18
“You bitch!”
19
Tod slapped her hard across the face, then slammed her into 20
the floor.
21
Callie felt something wet and warm trickling down her face.
22
She touched a finger to her face. Blood. It was blood.
23
She realized that Tucker had let go of her, and she struggled to 24
sit up. She’d managed to raise herself onto an elbow when she 25
saw him coming toward her. With a hopeless feeling, she saw that 26
he had the gun jammed into his belt. The weight of his body 27
came down on her, one knee on either side. Then his hands were 28
around her neck. Slowly, he started to squeeze.
29
“I don’t want to do this too quickly. I want to be sure you 30
feel it.”
31
Arching her back, Callie struggled to dislodge his body. But his 32
knees dug sharply into her sides. She couldn’t move at all.
33
His hands were squeezing her neck again, and her lungs 34
screamed for air. In her mind’s eye, she saw her daughter’s face.
S 35
I’m sorry, Anna, I’m sorry.
R 36
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h
2
3
Rick crashed through the window, sending glass and wood flying.
4
Before Tod could pull his gun, Rick was on top of him. Over and 5
over they rolled, but Rick couldn’t get control. “Jesus Christ!
6
What the hell are you doing? Give it up, Tod!”
7
But the only response was labored breathing. He couldn’t see 8
Tod’s face. From the corner of his eye, he glimpsed Callie, pros-9
trate on the floor. Her eyes were closed. She wasn’t moving.
What
10
had Tod done to her?
11
That one slight shift of focus, that was all it took. Tod took the 12
opportunity to gain the upper hand. In one powerful movement, 13
he socked Rick in the jaw. Pain ripped through the side of Rick’s 14
face, the shock rippling outward.
15
Disoriented, he tried to sit up, then came another blow. The 16
floor rose up to hit his head, then everything was over.
17
h
18
19
Sounds and lights faded in and out. She was lying on the ground.
20
She’d been running, running through the thick black night, but 21
he’d caught her in the end. Her neck hurt, something was wrong, 22
but it didn’t really matter. Finally it was over. Finally she could 23
rest.
24
I’m in the mood, I’m in the mood, I’m in the . . .
25
Somewhere, the music played. She could hear the words. And 26
Steven, he was here too, not so far away.
27
The sounds of a desperate struggle somewhere very near.
Give
28
up, give up,
she wanted to say.
It’s easier that way.
29
Slowly, she let her head roll, to see what was happening. The 30
pain in her neck confused her, though. In dreams, you didn’t feel 31
pain.
32
Then, as adrenaline flowed through her, she realized where she 33
was.
34
She wasn’t asleep.
35 S
This wasn’t a dream.
36 R
And everything came back.
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How Tod had come to her door that night. Tod was Tucker 1
Schuyler.
2
But who was he fighting with there on the floor? Rick floated 3
into focus. Tucker was sitting on top of him, just as he had with 4
her. His fist slammed into Rick’s stomach with a soft, sickening 5
thud.
6
Tucker’s back was to her. She knew he couldn’t see her. She 7
pictured the pistol upstairs in her room, measured the path in her 8
mind. Then, she was scrambling up, racing down the hall. Al-9
most instantly, she heard Tucker jumping to his feet.
10
As she hit the second-floor landing, she could hear him steps 11
behind her. She caught a terrifying glimpse of his face as she 12
slammed her bedroom door.
13
Just as she twisted the brass lock, Tucker smashed into the 14
door. Briefly, she thought of calling 911, but that would take too 15
long. She tore through the contents of her dresser drawer and 16
yanked out the gun case. Her fingers wouldn’t work at first, and 17
once she dropped the key. But she finally managed to get it open 18
and pull out the revolver.
19
The bullets were in her nightstand drawer. She grabbed the 20
box and ripped it open. Bullets fell to the floor. She dropped to 21
her knees, gathered them up, and loaded the cylinder.
22
Crash.
The door flew open, and Tucker plunged into sight.
23
From her sheltered position behind the bed, Callie raised her 24
gun.
25
Wildly, Tucker scanned the room.