He touched Keshan in such a way that Keshan cried out, turning languid. Jandu wondered what it felt like, suddenly curious. He would have to find out later. But right now, with Keshan flush with desire, and his own needs screaming to be fulfilled, he could wait. Right now, he wanted to see Keshan make that face again.
“I want you inside me,” Keshan whispered, his hot breath on Jandu’s lips. He slipped his tongue inside of Jandu’s mouth and ran it along his own tongue. “Please…”
Jandu enjoyed the control he had over Keshan at the moment.
“Not yet,” he said. He turned Keshan over and instead worked him slowly with his fingers, all the while massaging his erection with his other hand.
“Jandu, please… I’m going to come.”
Jandu tortured him like this for another minute, until he could feel Keshan about to climax. At that moment, he spread rose oil on his own member and thrust it deep inside of Keshan.
Keshan came almost immediately, groaning in pleasure. Jandu thrust only a few times before coming himself, loving the feeling of it, Keshan’s flesh tight around him, vividly hot, the musky sweet smell of him, the sight of Keshan’s gorgeous body prone, open, his for the taking.
Jandu still shook as he pulled out, tremors of pleasure coursing through his nervous system. Keshan rolled over and looked as content as a sleeping cat, his eyes closed and a soft smile on his face.
“I thought you’d like that oil,” he said.
Jandu snuggled close and rested his head on Keshan’s chest. “I do like it. Only it makes me wonder why you have a jar so readily available at your bedside.”
Keshan laughed. Jandu loved the feel of that laughter, rumbling through his belly, raising Jandu’s head with each muscle contraction.
Jandu smiled at Keshan. “Have you been practicing your skills on other boys?”
“I don’t like boys, only men.”
“Well then?” Jandu raised an eyebrow. “What man is the oil for?”
“It’s for you.” Keshan ran his fingers lazily through Jandu’s hair. “I bought it as a present for you. It’s been sitting here ever since I got home, waiting for just the right person to announce himself in our reception hall.”
Jandu stretched alongside Keshan, kissing Keshan’s neck as he nuzzled closer.
Keshan closed his eyes. “Not that it matters to me, but out of curiosity, why are you here? I thought Yudar would kill himself before he let you out of his sight.”
Jandu’s mood cooled as he recalled his departure from Prasta. “I didn’t ask.”
Keshan opened his eyes and studied Jandu’s face carefully.
Jandu stared at the ceiling. “Yudar made me attend court with him yesterday morning. There were two men he sentenced to death.”
“Oh.” Keshan’s unspoken question was obvious.
“They were lovers,” Jandu told him.
“I’m sorry.” Keshan continued stroking Jandu’s head.
“I just sat there and watched,” Jandu said. “I didn’t even try to plead with Yudar for leniency. I was too afraid he would suspect me. I hated myself.”
Keshan stared at Jandu but didn’t say anything. He scooted down on the bed and brought his head to Jandu’s, touching their foreheads together and throwing his arm around Jandu. They held each other for a long time, not speaking.
Finally, Keshan sat up. “If you want, we can stop this.” He tried smiling, but Jandu could tell it was forced. “This romance is dangerous, I won’t lie.”
Jandu sat up as well. “I can no more stop this than I can stop my heart from beating.”
Keshan sighed. “Poetic, but not very realistic.”
“I don’t know what to do.” The panic Jandu felt back in Prasta swelled in his throat, made it hurt to swallow. “I came here hoping you would tell me.”
“All we can do is be careful.”
“And if we’re caught?”
“I won’t let your brother kill you.” Keshan stated it firmly. “Not because of me. It won’t happen. I love you. No matter what happens with your brother, with the kingdom, with your wife or my wife or the future of this country. I love you. Never doubt that.”
Jandu smiled. Keshan’s conviction gave him strength. “That’s all I needed to hear.”
“Well, good.” Keshan plopped his head back down and grinned slyly. “Because I don’t have anything better to say.”
That evening, the Adarus held a feast in Jandu’s honor. He sat at a low table on cushions, surrounded by Keshan’s friends and family. Keshan’s mother, Linaz, sat beside Keshan. Keshan’s father had died several years prior, but his Uncle Inaud was there, a bizarre old man who sat next to Jandu and yelled in Jandu’s ear the entire meal.
Keshan’s mother was Yashva, and yet she looked almost human. Her skin was dark brown, but there was a bluish tint to it, and her eyes, while the right size and shape, still had that unnerving spinning effect that drew Jandu in, and made him feel like he was being hypnotized.
But what was most important was that Linaz had a good sense of humor and laughed at all of Jandu’s jokes.
Dinner with Keshan’s family was very different than eating with Jandu’s own. Where even their private meals in Yudar or Baram’s rooms were courteous and calm, Keshan’s family shouted at each other and spilled wine and gestured emphatically with their arms, honored guest present or not. They were wild people, the Tiwari. He let Iyestar refill his wine glass over and over and tried to get into the spirit of things. When Iyestar leaned over and poked his finger in Jandu’s chicken, yelling at him that he was a pussy for not trying the hot chutney, Jandu swallowed his extreme shock and just decided to kick Iyestar under the table. This started Iyestar laughing, great thunderous belches of happiness, making him spill his drink down his mother’s zahari.
Jandu’s Aunt Linaz didn’t seem upset. She rolled her eyes, dabbed at the stain with a cloth, and continued to shout loudly into Ajani’s ear.
Jandu looked around him and laughed. Now that the meal was over, six separate conversations competed for volume amongst the eight people at the table. It was madness. He smiled across the table at Keshan, who stopped shouting at Iyestar long enough to catch Jandu’s eye and smile sweetly back.
“Did I tell you the story about the time I found a turtle?” Keshan’s Uncle Inaud said suddenly, gripping Jandu’s hand. Since Jandu had agreed to sit beside the old man, he had been subject to the random conversational whims of Keshan’s obviously senile relative.
Although Inaud hadn’t told Jandu the story, Jandu nodded anyway. “Yes. Yes, you did.” He had to shout to be heard above Iyestar, who was roaring with laughter and shaking his fist at Keshan. “What a wonderful tale!”
Inaud smiled. “And all for the love of a coin!”
“Ah, yes.”
“But who knew where the physician would take me next?”
“Who knew?” Jandu shrugged in an exaggerated manner, barely keeping back his laughter. Iyestar initiated yet another round of drinks, and competed with his brother and Jandu to see who could drink theirs the fastest. Keshan obviously practiced this game before, and spilled half his drink into another cup hidden under the table whenever Iyestar wasn’t looking. Jandu shook his head at Keshan across the table. Keshan put a finger to his lips, urging Jandu into complicit silence.
Jandu wondered how Keshan could lie to his family and also be so honest with them at the same time. No one even raised an eyebrow at the blatant affection Keshan lavished on Jandu. They just accepted Keshan the way he was, and therefore, by association, Jandu as well. They may not have understood the kind of love the two of them shared, but they accepted Keshan’s Jandu obsession casually.
Jandu thought he was close to his brothers, but now he saw true closeness—Iyestar and Keshan beating each other up at the table, both of them finishing each other’s sentences, laughing like identical twins.
This was by far the best party Jandu had ever been to, and it amazed him that this was just an average family dinner for the Adaru’s. He realized he was jealous. These were people that talked loudly, openly expressed their emotions, did not believe in prudishness, and had no real cares for the strictness of Shentari faith. And yet as well-trained Triya warriors they upheld the warrior code when they left the palace. Jandu fell in love with all of them by the end of dinner.
Jandu leaned back in his chair and rubbed his stomach, full from a delicious meal. Dancing girls appeared and a large troupe of musicians started a well-loved Tiwari tune, which everyone in the room sang along to. Jandu didn’t know the words. Keshan’s mother sat beside Jandu and whispered them in Jandu’s ear, which only tickled and made Jandu laugh harder.
The lyrics were ridiculous, a long, corny ballad about the beauty and bounty of Tiwari’s sea. At the chorus, the entire room, servants included, started shouting out the words as loud as they could.
“Tiwari! Oh, Tiwari! The homeland of my dreams!
May your plentiful shores feed us, may your blue skies
oversee us!
Oh Tiwari, as long as I can see the sea,
I see who I’m supposed to be!”
“You’re not singing!” Linaz scolded him.
“Sing! Sing!” A chorus broke out across the table. Jandu turned bright red. He couldn’t sing at all. He barely mumbled prayers in public. But the chorus of would-be fans would not relent, and he was drunk enough to let Keshan’s mother drag him upwards to stand on the table.
This alone would be worthy of a beating in the Paran house. Standing on the table? And yet here was Keshan’s very own mother, kicking off her shoes and standing with him, wrapping her bony arms around Jandu’s waist and dancing with him on the table as she repeated the lyrics. The musicians began again, and Jandu just decided to hell with it. He would sing.
“Oh, Tiwari, Tiwari, land of… lyrics screamed …” Jandu filled in. The audience rolled on the floor. “May your frightening shores feed me, may your rocks… not thrash me into smithereens as I try vainly to escape your horrendous undertow… As long as I can see the sea, I really need to pee…”
Even Iyestar cried tears of laughter by the time Jandu was done with his terrible rendition of their state anthem. Keshan kicked off his shoes, one of them flying out to hit one of the attendants in the shin. Keshan ran over and apologized to the woman, and then dragged her on the table with him, forcing her to dance.
As the tempo slowed, Keshan switched partners with his mother, so that he and Jandu could dance together and his mother danced with the servant. No one seemed to find this the least bit scandalous. Keshan pulled Jandu closer. Jandu wanted to kiss Keshan then and there, but didn’t. This was enough. Enough to get arrested in Prasta. And enough to ease his self-doubt over his own inverted nature, make him feel better, feel alive.
By the time the music stopped, Jandu was so completely drunk he could barely stand. Keshan put his arm around him and weaved them up the grand staircase towards Jandu’s room, which was directly below Keshan’s quarters at the top of the tower.
They sang bawdy lyrics loudly until Ajani reappeared, blocking their way on the landing of the stair.
She seemed more beautiful than Jandu remembered. Maybe it was being in her own home. But Ajani had a relaxed, carefree look about her, her hair down loose around her round face. Her scowl, however, was the same scowl she had favored Jandu with every chance she got in Prasta.
She bowed to Jandu, and Jandu brought his hands together in the sign of peace.
“Ajani,” Jandu said. “You look lovely tonight.”
Ajani smirked coldly. “Thank you. I see you two have been falling for Iyestar’s tricks.”
Keshan waved his hand in every direction. “Oh, don’t blame Iyestar, he was just happy to see Jandu too.” Keshan pinched Jandu’s cheek.
Ajani crossed her arms. “I’ve been waiting for you, in my chamber,” she said quietly. She looked pointedly at Jandu. “Good night, Prince.”
Jandu frowned. “But Keshan and I aren’t done drinking yet.” He laughed at the sound of his own voice, which cracked and wavered.
Keshan nodded. “It’s true. I promised Jandu a night cap, and then I will come to you directly, sweet princess.”
Ajani didn’t move. “You—”
“—Shh.” Keshan let go of Jandu and put his arms around Ajani. “When have I ever lied to you?” He whispered in her ear.
Ajani rolled her eyes. “Yesterday. And the day before. You lie to me every day, Keshan.”
“But you still love me.”
“Fool that I am.” But Ajani softened at Keshan’s words. Her coquettish expression sickened Jandu.
Keshan leaned towards Ajani’s face, his lips just above her ear. “Let me make sure Jandu is settled for the night, and then I’ll be there as soon as I can, all right?”
Ajani closed her eyes. “All right.” She wandered off as if in a daze.
When she was gone Keshan grabbed Jandu’s arm and practically ran up the stairs to Jandu’s guest rooms. “Quick!” Keshan whispered. “Before she comes back!” He shut the door behind him and locked it, laughing.
Jandu laughed as well, but with guilt. “I’m stealing her husband. That makes me a bad person.”
Keshan scoffed. “I would have fallen asleep as soon as I got into bed with her, that’s what I always do.” He moved towards Jandu seductively. “All my love is for you.”
“Lucky me.” Jandu looked around the guest chamber, marveling at its rich colors. Everything about the palace burst with vibrant patterns. The guest room was small, consisting of a bed and a few small cushions together on a carpet, with a small cypress table and chair in the corner. The balcony looked out to the sea, where the constant crash of the waves broke through the night and made even the blackness seem alive. Jandu had never slept with such a loud noise. He wasn’t sure he would be able to.
Jandu sat tentatively on the guest bed, poking at the goose-feather mattress and shearling bedding. “This is nice.”
Keshan didn’t hesitate to sit beside him on the bed. Up close, Jandu could smell the wine on Keshan’s breath, see the bleary effects of alcohol in his eyes.
Or maybe
, Jandu thought,
it’s my sight that’s gone blurry and he’s just fine.
“Listen to me,” Keshan said. He grinned crookedly. “We’re going to make it through everything, you and me. I can see the future, you know.”