“Oh God.” Reed moaned, then cried out at the press of Carter’s slick tongue at his opening. His fingers curled spasmodically against the wall as lightening shot down his spine. Carter fluttered his tongue, then pulled away, causing Reed to whimper in frustration.
“Fuck.” He reached down to grab his cock and gave himself a few hard tugs to take the edge off, but it wasn’t working. He needed Carter’s mouth back on him. “Do it.”
“You like this? Tell me how much you want it.” Carter thumbed his hole, and Reed thought he might pass out from the desire rocketing through his body. “Tell me.” He twirled his tongue around the rim, but it wasn’t nearly enough to satisfy Reed.
“Carter, please.” He struggled to stand and had to place a hand flat up against the wall or else he might crumple to his knees. Carter’s finger slid down his crease, then delved inside his passage, sliding in and out, unerringly knowing where to place pressure to give Reed the maximum amount of pleasure. Sparks went off behind his tightly closed eyes, and he moved his hips in rhythm to the magic of Carter’s wicked, knowing fingers.
“Please, what?” Carter slid his hands up Reed’s hips and nuzzled against his ass. “I want you to beg me for it.” Hot air blew against his sweat-slicked skin, and Reed shivered from both anticipation and desire. When Carter slid his tongue into his passage, curling it up inside him, wave upon wave of pleasure slammed into him, and Reed came hard, shooting into his hand and splattering the wall.
Carter quickly stood and covered Reed with his body, sliding their hands together, blanketing him as he shivered and shook in the aftermath of his climax. He gasped for air, listening to the soothing sound of Carter murmuring words he was still too wrecked to make sense of, but the mere sound of Carter’s voice and his weight comforted.
“All good?” Carter stepped back and turned him around so they faced each other. Reed couldn’t help it; he wanted Carter’s arms around him again. He reached out and cupped the nape of Carter’s neck, drawing their faces close.
“Let’s take a shower. I need to get cleaned up, and you need to get taken care of.”
Carter’s silvery eyes darkened, and he licked his lips. “I like the way you think. Come on.” Carter’s hands rested on Reed’s hips, tickling at his waist.
“Don’t be in such a hurry,” said Reed as they stepped into the brightly lit bathroom. He turned on the taps and watched Carter strip out of his clothes. “We have all night.” He pulled off his shirt and dropped it to the floor.
“Oh, I know, and I intend to use every minute to its fullest.”
Carter pushed him into the shower, and he yelped at the splash of water down his back.
“Hey.”
Carter joined him and pushed him up against the wall. “Is there a problem?”
Reed felt the thrust of Carter’s very hard cock and laughed. “Not any longer.” His laughter ceased as Carter covered his mouth in a possessive kiss.
* * *
Winter sunlight painted
watery, lemon-yellow stripes across the carpet of the bedroom. Reed squinted at the clock, and when he saw the time was eleven a.m., he sat up so quickly his head spun. He was alone in the bed, of course, Carter being an early morning riser as Reed had come to learn. But today Reed had plans, and though he’d slept later than he would’ve liked, he was now wide awake and ready to go. Strange how he’d slept better these stolen weekends with Carter than any other time in his life.
After taking a piss and brushing his teeth, he found Carter on the sofa, sipping coffee and reading the newspaper. His hair lay sleek and wet against his shirt collar, and his freshly shaven jaw gleamed where the sunlight hit. Remembering the delicious friction of Carter’s stubble against his balls and ass, a small sound of dismay escaped him, which caught Carter’s attention. He glanced up and smiled.
“There’s coffee. I didn’t know what you wanted, so I got a bunch of stuff.” He gestured to the table, and Reed’s eyes widened at the sight. There were coffee cakes, miniature danish, muffins, and bagels, along with an impressive bowl of fruit. A large thermal carafe of coffee and a pitcher of milk rounded out the contents of the breakfast tray.
“Are you expecting guests? ’Cause there’s enough here for five more people.” Plus, Reed decided as he picked up a bagel and spread on the cream cheese, the sugar alone would send him spiraling into the next stratosphere. Too much was always a trigger for him, and he tried to keep away from eating crap.
“Hmm,” said Carter, handing him his coffee. “Maybe I did go overboard. But I like having choices. Choices make life interesting.” He picked up a muffin and took a huge bite out of it.
“Well, today you are my prisoner, so you have no choice. I have a surprise planned.”
Instantly wary, Carter swallowed what he was chewing and set his coffee cup down. “I’ve never been thrilled with surprises. What is it?”
“We’re going to do something really touristy and fun.”
“What are you talking about? I thought we were—”
“What, going to stay in and screw all weekend?”
A lazy grin curled Carter’s lips. “Well, now that you mention it…”
“Last month you made me go dancing, something way outside my comfort zone.” So far outside as to be revolutionary. The entire night played out as a surreal fantasy for him.
Carter picked up his coffee and took a sip. “You seemed pretty comfortable to me. At least while we were out on the floor.”
Reed’s cheeks heated. He’d lost count of how many times he’d replayed their dirty dance in his head this past month and jerked off to the memory of Carter’s hands down his pants while the other people in the club remained oblivious to what went on beneath their noses. It never failed to give him a hard-on.
“That’s not the point. I did it because you wanted to. This is something I want, and it shouldn’t be a big deal.”
“Fine,” said Carter, tossing back the rest of his coffee. “Let’s do it.” He took another bite of his muffin and chewed noisily. “I’ll be right here when you’re ready.”
“Didn’t your parents ever teach you not to talk with your mouth full?” Reed meant it as a joke, but Carter’s wide smile faded and his eyes darkened with pain.
Obviously he’d hit a nerve. “I’ll be ready in a few minutes,” Reed muttered. “Just going to jump in the shower.” No use in asking Carter what was wrong as he’d never reveal his precious hidden life.
Before Carter had a chance to change his mind, Reed raced from the room. He didn’t bother to shave and within fifteen minutes had showered, dressed, and was back in the living room, relieved to see Carter sitting with his phone, a sweet smile playing on his lips. Unnoticed, Reed stood for a moment, watching who he knew to be the real Carter—his eyes lit up bright with life, laugh lines fanning out from the corners. It struck Reed with a pang how young and surprisingly vulnerable Carter seemed when he dropped that confident, brash exterior. Pain and happiness danced together in his chest, and Reed knew if he answered the call of his heart, it would tell him how deeply he’d come to care for Carter.
“What’s so funny?” He walked behind Carter and bent over his shoulder to take a peek.
“Uh, nothing.” Carter clicked the screen to dark and flipped the phone in his hand so it faced downward. “Ready?” He pasted on a huge, fake smile. Having witnessed Carter’s spontaneous happiness, Reed wondered at his need to pretend.
Reed wondered if there would ever come a time when he’d breach that impenetrable wall Carter trapped himself behind. Perhaps a day like he’d planned, free of anything except living in the moment, would be the balm to soothe Carter’s troubled soul and give him some much needed calm.
He held out his hand. “Yeah, come on, let’s go.”
They walked out of the suite, zipping up their coats, and Carter asked, “By the way, where are you taking me?”
“Trust me?” Reed pushed the elevator button, then leaned against the wall, holding Carter’s dark gaze.
Carter quirked a brow, then shrugged. “Sure. How bad could it be?”
They descended in the elevator to the lobby, and Reed decided to splurge on a cab when they reached outside. The air flowed past them, bright and chilly, and he didn’t relish being half frozen before they reached their destination. Besides, Carter normally paid for practically everything on their weekends together, and it chafed him to continually accept his generosity. Even though it was something as minor as a cab ride, Reed looked at it as something small he could do for them both.
“Rockefeller Center, please.” He spoke into the little plastic divider to the cabbie, who wordlessly nodded and took off.
“You’re kidding me, right?” The disbelief in Carter’s voice rang out in the back seat of the cab.
It was the response he’d expected, which was why he’d kept it a secret until Carter sat trapped with him in the midst of crowded Saturday traffic.
“No. We’re going to look at the tree and then go ice-skating at the rink. Be total tourists in our hometown.”
“I’ve never seen the tree or even bothered to go near Rockefeller Center during the holiday season. Way too crowded from what I see on TV.”
How sad. In addition to going to parades and zoos, every winter he and his father would make the pilgrimage into the city to see not only the tree in all its glory at Rockefeller Center, but the holiday windows along 5th Avenue, ending up ice-skating at the rink and then sipping hot chocolate in the café.
“Well, today that’s about to change.”
Carter scowled but said nothing, falling back against the seat in a huff while Reed studied his uncompromisingly hard face. He didn’t believe Carter was truly angry; more likely, he didn’t like having the decision-making power wrested from him. It didn’t take Reed long to figure out even in their brief times together that Carter lived a very orderly, rigid life. His willingness to submit in the bedroom evidenced to Reed his inner desire to be taken care of, to give in and let others be in control.
The cab dropped them off, and after he paid the fare Reed stood for a moment, amazed by the sheer enormity of the tree and the crowds surging around him, jostling him to get in a better position to take their pictures. What if the tree fell on them? It would instantly crush them all, and he’d never have fallen in love or had anyone tell him they loved him. It all closed in on him, and he began to shake.
“Are you all right?” Carter squeezed his arm, peering at him, eyes wide with anxiety. “You’re very pale and look like you’re going to be sick.”
Forcing himself to relax, Reed swallowed hard against the panic struggling to break free. His heart sank when he did a fast playback of his morning and realized he’d not only forgotten to take his medicine, but in his haste to get to Carter yesterday, he’d left it at home. He didn’t know if he’d need to make an excuse to go back sometime during the day to retrieve them or deal with the situation as best he could. Two days without his meds shouldn’t hurt him too much, but being with Carter meant he had to watch what he said every moment and that increased his anxiety. It occurred to him that this was becoming an issue whenever he saw Carter; perhaps his subconscious fought against him and sabotaged his best efforts to remain on track. Reed resolved to remember and fight against himself.
From one moment to the next, Reed could never be certain how Carter would respond in a situation, his mercurial nature making it almost impossible for Reed to figure out what went on behind those silvery gray eyes. Sometimes Reed wondered if Carter allowed anyone to see beneath the sleek and polished exterior he showed to the world.
“I’m good.”
His breathless words tumbled out, and Carter shot him a concerned look, but he didn’t say anything further, just took him by the arm and walked as close as they could get to the tree.
“It’s pretty magnificent, isn’t it? I never knew.” He took out his phone and took several shots, smiling slightly at the screen.
Reed wasn’t sure if Carter expected him to answer, but there didn’t seem to be a need to. Carter remained tapping on his phone, and Reed wondered who Carter sent the pictures to.
Hoping to lighten the mood, Reed nudged Carter’s shoulder. “Hey, how about we take one together?” He waggled his phone at Carter. “Let’s do a tourist selfie like everyone else.”
Without waiting for a response, he slipped an arm around Carter’s shoulders and took several pictures in rapid succession, as if anticipating a refusal. Shockingly, Carter not only acquiesced but mugged for the camera, making silly faces and flashing a peace sign over Reed’s head. Reviewing the pictures, seeing Carter so relaxed and happy, Reed’s heart squeezed tight, as if knowing these times were infrequent and ones to hold on to.
“Let’s go ice-skating before it gets overly crowded.” The rink, though not empty, had yet to fill up with skaters, and Reed wanted nothing to break this magical time they’d woven together.
“Okay.” To his surprise, Carter took his hand, entwining their fingers. “I haven’t been on skates in years.”
“Oh yeah?” Reed kept his tone light and teasing. “I guess I’ll be skating rings around you, then. Hope you can keep up. Will I have to pick your sorry ass up off the ice?”
Carter’s gray eyes glowed, and he yanked Reed to him, leaving Reed breathless. “I have other plans for my ass tonight. Ones that involve you getting much more up close and personal with it.” His eyes bored holes into Reed’s, daring him to disagree. As if Reed would. Or could. The darkness usually lurking within Carter had transformed into something more tangible and alive.
Here he’d thought he’d be the one in charge this afternoon, having made all the plans, yet with a deft twist, once again Carter had come out on top. It didn’t matter to him, not with Carter smiling at him, his teeth glinting white in the frosty sun, so heartbreakingly handsome it almost hurt Reed to look at him. Like a grinning fool, he stood in the circle of Carter’s arms, oblivious to the surge of the crowd around him.
“Let’s go get the skates.” Carter broke the spell and tugged Reed forward.
Childish shrieks split the air along with the recorded music playing for the ice skaters, and Reed hummed a tune under his breath as he and Carter walked to the ice skate rental concession and waited in line. After they collected their skates, they sat side by side, sliding their feet into the skates, tying them tightly. Arms linked, they laughed together as they wobbled to the entrance of the ice-skating rink and waited in line to enter the ice, and for the first time in forever Reed forgot about being anxious and inadequate and concentrated on the moment.