The Art of Seduction (9 page)

what draws women to you. There are several things you must be known for: your irresistible attractiveness to women; your uncontrollable devotion to pleasure (this will make you seem weak, but also exciting to be around); your disdain for convention; a rebellious streak that makes you seem dangerous. This last element can be slightly hidden; on the surface, be polite and civil, while letting it be known that behind the scenes you are incorrigible. Duke de Richelieu made his conquests as public as possible, exciting other women's competitive desire to join the club of the seduced. It was by reputation that Lord Byron attracted his willing victims. A woman may feel ambivalent about President Clinton's reputation, but beneath that ambivalence is an underlying interest. Do not leave your reputation to chance or gossip; it is your life's artwork, and you must craft it, hone it, and display it with the care of an artist.

Symbol:
Fire.

The Rake burns with a desire that

enflames the woman he is seducing. It is

extreme, uncontrollable, and dangerous. The Rake may

end in hell, but the flames surrounding him often make

him seem that much more desirable to women.

28
•
The Art of Seduction

Dangers

Like the Siren, the Rake faces the most danger from members of his

own sex, who are far less indulgent than women are of his constant

skirt chasing. In the old days, a Rake was often an aristocrat, and no matter how many people he offended or even killed, in the end he would go unpunished. Today, only stars and the very wealthy can play the Rake with impunity; the rest of us need to be careful.

Elvis Presley had been a shy young man. Attaining early stardom, and seeing the power it gave him over women, he went berserk, becoming a Rake almost overnight. Like many Rakes, Elvis had a predilection for women who were already taken. He found himself cornered by an angry husband or boyfriend on numerous occasions, and came away with a few cuts and bruises. This might seem to suggest that you should step lightly around husbands and boyfriends, especially early on in your career. But the charm of the Rake is that such dangers don't matter to them. You cannot be a Rake by being fearful and prudent; the occasional pummeling is part of the game. Later on, in any case, at the height of Elvis's fame, no husband would dare touch him.

The greater danger for the Rake comes not from the violently offended husband but from those insecure men who feel threatened by the Don Juan figure. Although they will not admit it, they envy the Rake's life of pleasure, and like everyone envious, they will attack in hidden ways, often masking their persecutions as morality. The Rake may find his career endangered by such men (or by the occasional woman who is equally insecure, and who feels hurt because the Rake does not want her). There is little the Rake can do to avoid envy; if everyone was as successful in seduction, society would not function. So accept envy as a badge of honor. Don't be naive, be aware. When

attacked by a moralist persecutor, do not be taken in by their crusade; it is motivated by envy, pure and simple. You can blunt it by being less of a Rake, asking forgiveness, claiming to have reformed, but this will damage your reputation, making you seem less lovably rakish. In the end, it is better to suffer attacks with dignity and keep on seducing. Seduction is the source of your power; and you can always count on the infinite indulgence of women.

Most

people have dreams in their

youth that get shattered or worn

down with age. They find themselves dis-

appointed by people, events, reality, which can-

not match their youthful ideals. Ideal Lovers thrive

on people's broken dreams, which become lifelong

fantasies. You long for romance? Adventure? Lofty

spiritual communion? The Ideal Lover reflects your

fantasy. He or she is an artist in creating the illu-

sion you require, idealizing your portrait. In a

world of disenchantment and baseness,

there is limitless seductive power in

following the path of the

Ideal Lover.

The Romantic Ideal

One evening around 1760, at the opera in the city of Cologne, a beautiful young woman sat in her box, watching the audience. Beside her was her husband, the town burgomaster—a middle-aged man and amiable enough, but dull. Through her opera glasses the young woman noticed a handsome man wearing a stunning outfit. Evidently her stare was noticed, for after the opera the man introduced himself: his name was Giovanni Gi-
If at first sight a girl does
acomo Casanova.

not make such a deep

impression on a person that

The stranger kissed the woman's hand. She was going to a ball the fol-
she awakens the ideal,
lowing night, she told him; would he like to come? "If I might dare to
then ordinarily the
hope, Madame," he replied, "that you will dance only with me."
actuality is not especially

desirable; but if she does,

The next night, after the ball, the woman could think only of Casanova.
then no matter how
He had seemed to anticipate her thoughts—had been so pleasant, and yet
experienced a person is he
so bold. A few days later he dined at her house, and after her husband had
usually is rather
retired for the evening she showed him around. In her boudoir she pointed
overwhelmed.
out a wing of the house, a chapel, just outside her window. Sure enough, as —SØREN KIERKEGAARD,
THE

SEDUCER'S DIARY,
TRANSLATED

if he had read her mind, Casanova came to the chapel the next day to at-BY HOWARD V. HONG AND

tend Mass, and seeing her at the theater that evening he mentioned to her EDNA H. HONG

that he had noticed a door there that must lead to her bedroom. She laughed, and pretended to be surprised. In the most innocent of tones, he said that he would find a way to hide in the chapel the next day—and al-
A good lover will behave as
most without thinking, she whispered she would visit him there after every-
elegantly at dawn as at any
other time. He drags

one had gone to bed.

himself out of bed with a

So Casanova hid in the chapel's tiny confessional, waiting all day and
look of dismay on his face.
evening. There were rats, and he had nothing to lie upon; yet when the
The lady urges him on:

"Come, my friend, it's

burgomaster's wife finally came, late at night, he did not complain, but qui-
getting light. You don't
etly followed her to her room. They continued their trysts for several days.
want anyone to find you
By day she could hardly wait for night: finally something to live for, an ad-
here." He gives a deep
sigh, as if to say that the

venture. She left him food, books, and candles to ease his long and tedious
night has not been nearly
stays in the chapel—it seemed wrong to use a place of worship for such a
long enough and that it is
purpose, but that only made the affair more exciting. A few days later,
agony to leave. Once up,
however, she had to take a journey with her husband. By the time she got
he does not instantly pull
on his trousers. Instead he

back, Casanova had disappeared, as quickly and gracefully as he had come.
comes close to the lady and

Some years later, in London, a young woman named Miss Pauline no-
whispers whatever was left
ticed an ad in a local newspaper. A gentleman was looking for a lady lodger
unsaid during the night.
Even when he is dressed,

to rent a part of his house. Miss Pauline came from Portugal, and was of
he still lingers, vaguely
the nobility; she had eloped to London with a lover, but he had been
pretending to be fastening
31

32
•
The Art of Seduction

his sash.
•
Presently he
forced to return home and she had had to stay on alone for some while be
raises the lattice, and the
fore she could join him. Now she was lonely, and had little money, and was
two lovers stand together by

depressed by her squalid circumstances—after all, she had been raised as a
the side door while he tells

her how he dreads the
lady. She answered the ad.

coining day, which will

The gentleman turned out to be Casanova, and what a gentleman he

keep them apart; then he

was. The room he offered was nice, and the rent was low; he asked only for
slips away. The lady

watches him go, and this

occasional companionship. Miss Pauline moved in. They played chess, went
moment of parting will
riding, discussed literature. He was so well-bred, polite, and generous. A se
remain among her most
rious and high-minded girl, she came to depend on their friendship; here
charming memories.
• was a man she could talk to for hours. Then one day Casanova seemed
Indeed, one's attachment to

a man depends largely on

changed, upset, excited: he confessed that he was in love with her. She was
the elegance of his leave-

going back to Portugal soon, to rejoin her lover, and this was not what she
taking. When he jumps
wanted to hear. She told him he should go riding to calm down.
out of bed, scurries about

the room, tightly fastens

Later that evening she received news: he had fallen from his horse. Feel
his trouser sash, rolls up
ing responsible for his accident, she rushed to him, found him in bed, and
the sleeves of his court
fell into his arms, unable to control herself. The two became lovers that
cloak, overrobe, or hunting

costume, stuffs his

night, and remained so for the rest of Miss Pauline's stay in London. Yet
belongings into the breast

when it came time for her to leave for Portugal, he did not try to stop her;
of his robe and then briskly
instead, he comforted her, reasoning that each of them had offered the
secures the outer sash
—
one

other the perfect, temporary antidote to their loneliness, and that they
really begins to hate him.

would be friends for life.

—
THE PILLOW BOOK OF SEI

SHONAGON,
TRANSLATED AND

Some years later, in a small Spanish town, a young and beautiful girl

named Ignazia was leaving church after confession. She was approached by Casanova. Walking her home, he explained that he had a passion for dancing the fandango, and invited her to a ball the following evening. He was so different from anyone in the town, which bored her so—she desperately wanted to go. Her parents were against the arrangement, but she persuaded her mother to act as a chaperone. After an unforgettable evening of dancing (and he danced the fandango remarkably well for a foreigner), Casanova confessed that he was madly in love with her. She replied (very sadly, though) that she already had a fiancé. Casanova did not force the issue, but over the next few days he took Ignazia to more dances and to the bullfights. On one of these occasions he introduced her to a friend of his, a duchess, who flirted with him brazenly; Ignazia was terribly jealous. By now she was desperately in love with Casanova, but her sense of duty and religion forbade such thoughts. Finally, after days of torment, Ignazia sought out Casanova and took his hand: "My confessor tried to make me promise to never be alone with you again," she said, "and as I could not, he refused to give me absolution. It is the first time in my life such a thing has happened to me. I have put myself in God's hands. I have made up my mind, so long as you are here, to do all you wish. When to my sorrow you leave Spain, I shall find another confessor. My fancy for you is, after all, only a passing madness." Casanova was perhaps the most successful seducer in history; few women could resist him. His method was simple: on meeting a woman, he would
The Ideal Lover
•
33

study her, go along with her moods, find out what was missing in her life,
During the early 1970s,

and provide it. He made himself the Ideal Lover. The bored burgomaster's
against a turbulent political
backdrop that included the

wife needed adventure and romance; she wanted someone who would sac-
fiasco of American
rifice time and comfort to have her. For Miss Pauline what was missing was
involvement in the
friendship, lofty ideals, serious conversation; she wanted a man of breeding
Vietnam War and the

downfall of President

and generosity who would treat her like a lady. For Ignazia, what was miss-
Richard Nixon's
ing was suffering and torment. Her life was too easy; to feel truly alive, and
presidency in the Watergate
to have something real to confess, she needed to sin. In each case Casanova
scandal, a "me generation"
adapted himself to the woman's ideals, brought her fantasy to life. Once she
sprang to prominence
—a
nd

[
Andy
]
Warhol was there

had fallen under his spell, a little ruse or calculation would seal the romance
to hold up its mirror.
(a day among rats, a contrived fall from a horse, an encounter with another
Unlike the radicalized

woman to make Ignazia jealous).

protesters of the 1960s

who wanted to change all

The Ideal Lover is rare in the modern world, for the role takes effort.
the ills of society, the self-

You will have to focus intensely on the other person, fathom what she is
absorbed "me" people
missing, what he is disappointed by. People will often reveal this in subtle
sought to improve their
bodies and to "get in

ways: through gesture, tone of voice, a look in the eye. By seeming to be
touch" with their own
what they lack, you will fit their ideal.

feelings. They cared

To create this effect requires patience and attention to detail. Most
passionately about their
appearance, health, life-

people are so wrapped up in their own desires, so impatient, they are inca-
style, and bank accounts.
pable of the Ideal Lover role. Let that be a source of infinite opportunity.
Andy catered to their self-
Be an oasis in the desert of the self-absorbed; few can resist the temptation
centeredness and inflated
of following a person who seems so attuned to their desires, to bringing to
pride by offering his
services as a portraitist. By

life their fantasies. And as with Casanova, your reputation as one who
the end of the decade, he

gives such pleasure will precede you and make your seductions that much
would be internationally

recognized as one of the

leading portraitists of his

era.
. . . •
Warhol offered

The cultivation of the pleasures of the senses was ever my

his clients an irresistible

principal aim in life. Knowing that I was personally calcu-

product: a stylish and

lated to please the fair sex, I always strove to make myself

flattering portrait by a

famous artist who was

agreeable to it.

himself a certified celebrity.

—CASANOVA

Conferring an alluring star

presence upon even the

most celebrated of faces, he

transformed his subjects

The Beauty Ideal

into glamorous apparitions,

presenting their faces as he

thought they wanted to be

In 1730, when Jeanne Poisson was a mere nine years old, a fortune-teller
seen and remembered. By
predicted that one day she would be the mistress of Louis XV. The pre-
filtering his sitters' good
diction was quite ridiculous, since Jeanne came from the middle class, and
features through his
silkscreens and

it was a tradition stretching back for centuries that the king's mistress be
exaggerating their vivacity,
chosen from among the nobility. To make matters worse, Jeanne's father
he enabled them to gain

was a notorious rake, and her mother had been a courtesan.

entree to a more mythic

and rarefied level of

Fortunately for Jeanne, one of her mother's lovers was a man of great
existence. The possession

wealth who took a liking to the pretty girl and paid for her education.
of great wealth and power

Jeanne learned to sing, to play the clavichord, to ride with uncommon skill,
might do for everyday life,

to act and dance; she was schooled in literature and history as if she were a
but the commissioning of a

portrait by Warhol was a

boy. The playwright Crébillon instructed her in the art of conversation.
34 • The Art of Seduction

sure indication that the

On top of it all, Jeanne was beautiful, and had a charm and grace that set
sitter intended to secure a

her apart early on. In 1741, she married a man of the lower nobility. Now
posthumous fame as well.

known as Madame d'Etioles, she could realize a great ambition: she opened
Warhol's portraits were not

so much realistic documents

a literary salon. All of the great writers and philosophers of the time fre
of contemporary faces as
quented the salon, many because they were enamored of the hostess. One
they were designer icons

of these was Voltaire, who became a lifelong friend.

awaiting future devotions.

Through all Jeanne's success, she never forgot the fortune-teller's pre— D A V I D B O U R D O N ,
WARHOL

diction, and still believed that she would one day conquer the king's heart. It happened that one of her husband's country estates bordered on King Louis's favorite hunting grounds. She would spy on him through the fence,
Women have served all

or find ways to cross his path, always while she happened to be wearing an
these centuries as looking

glasses possessing the magic
elegant, yet fetching outfit. Soon the king was sending her gifts
of
game.
and delicious power of
When his official mistress died, in 1744, all of the court beauties vied to
reflecting the figure of a

take her place; but he began to spend more and more time with Madame
man at twice its natural

size.

d'Etioles, dazzled by her beauty and charm. To the astonishment of the

— V I R G I N I A WOOLF,
A ROOM

court, that same year he made this middle-class woman his official mistress,
OF ONE'S OWN

ennobling her with the title of the Marquise de Pompadour.

The king's need for novelty was notorious: a mistress would beguile him with her looks, but he would soon grow bored with her and find

someone else. After the shock of his choice of Jeanne Poisson wore off, the courtiers reassured themselves that it could not last—that he had only chosen her for the novelty of having a middle-class mistress. Little did they know that Jeanne s first seduction of the king was not the last seduction she had in mind.

As time went by, the king found himself visiting his mistress more and more often. As he ascended the hidden stair that led from his quarters to hers in the palace of Versailles, anticipation of the delights that awaited him at the top would begin to turn his head. First, the room was always warm, and was filled with delightful scents. Then there were the visual delights: Madame de Pompadour always wore a different costume, each one elegant and surprising in its own way. She loved beautiful objects—fine porcelain, Chinese fans, golden flowerpots—and every time he visited, there would be something new and enchanting to see. Her manner was always lighthearted; she was never defensive or resentful. Everything for pleasure. Then there was their conversation: he had never been really able to talk with a woman before, or to laugh, but the marquise could discourse skillfully on any subject, and her voice was a pleasure to hear. And if the conversation waned, she would move to the piano, play a tune, and sing wonderfully. If ever the king seemed bored or sad, Madame de Pompadour would

propose some project—perhaps the building of a new country house. He would have to advise in the design, the layout of the gardens, the decor. Back at Versailles, Madame de Pompadour put hersell in charge of the palace amusements, building a private theater for weekly performances under her direction. Actors were chosen from among the courtiers, but the female lead was always played by Madame de Pompadour, who was one of the finest amateur actresses in France. The king became obsessed with this
The Ideal Lover
•
35

theater; he could barely wait for its performances. Along with this interest came an increasing expenditure of money on the arts, and an involvement in philosophy and literature. A man who had cared only for hunting and gambling was spending less and less time with his male companions and becoming a great patron of the arts. Indeed he stamped a whole era with an aesthetic style, which became known as "Louis Quinze," rivaling the style associated with his illustrious predecessor, Louis XIV.

Lo and behold, year after year went by without Louis tiring of his mistress. In fact he made her a duchess, and her power and influence extended well beyond culture into politics. For twenty years, Madame de Pompadour ruled both the court and the king's heart, until her untimely death, in 1764, at the age of forty-three.

Louis XV had a powerful inferiority complex. The successor to Louis XIV, the most powerful king in French history, he had been educated and

trained for the throne—yet who could follow his predecessor's act? Eventually he gave up trying, devoting himself instead to physical pleasures, which came to define how he was seen; the people around him knew they could sway him by appealing to the basest parts of his character.

Madame de Pompadour, genius of seduction, understood that inside

Louis XV was a great man yearning to come out, and that his obsession with pretty young women indicated a hunger for a more lasting kind of beauty. Her first step was to cure his incessant bouts of boredom. It is easy for kings to be bored—everything they want is given to them, and they seldom learn to be satisfied with what they have. The Marquise de Pompadour dealt with this by bringing all sorts of fantasies to life, and creating constant suspense. She had many skills and talents, and just as important, she deployed them so artfully that he never discovered their limits. Once she had accustomed him to more refined pleasures, she appealed to the crushed ideals within him; in the mirror she held up to him, he saw his aspiration to be great, a desire that, in France, inevitably included leadership in culture. His previous series of mistresses had tickled only his sensual desires. In Madame de Pompadour he found a woman who made him feel greatness in himself. The other mistresses could easily be replaced, but he could never find another Madame de Pompadour.

Most people believe themselves to be inwardly greater than they outwardly appear to the world. They are full of unrealized ideals: they could be artists, thinkers, leaders, spiritual figures, but the world has crushed them, denied them the chance to let their abilities flourish. This is the key to their seduction—and to keeping them seduced over time. The Ideal Lover knows how to conjure up this kind of magic. Appeal only to people's physical side, as many amateur seducers do, and they will resent you for playing upon their basest instincts. But appeal to their better selves, to a higher standard of beauty, and they will hardly notice that they have been seduced. Make them feel elevated, lofty, spiritual, and your power over them will be limitless.

36
•
The Art of Seduction

Love brings to light a lover's noble and hidden qualities
—

his rare and exceptional traits: it is thus liable to be decep-
tive as to his normal character.

—FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE

Keys to the Character

Each of us carries inside us an ideal, either of what we would like to become, or of what we want another person to be for us. This ideal goes back to our earliest years—to what we once felt was missing in our lives, what others did not give to us, what we could not give to ourselves. Maybe we were smothered in comfort, and we long for danger and rebellion. If we want danger but it frightens us, perhaps we look for someone who seems at home with it. Or perhaps our ideal is more elevated—we want to be more creative, nobler, and kinder than we ever manage to be. Our ideal is something we feel is missing inside us. Our ideal may be buried in disappointment, but it lurks underneath, waiting to be sparked. If another person seems to have that ideal quality, or to have the ability to bring it out in us, we fall in love. That is the response to Ideal Lovers. Attuned to what is missing inside you, to the fantasy that will stir you, they reflect your ideal—and you do the rest, projecting on to them your deepest desires and yearnings. Casanova and Madame de Pompadour did not merely seduce their targets into a sexual affair, they made them fall in love.