The Baby Bond (19 page)

“You’re the king of optimism. That’s one of the things I—” About to blurt that she loved him, Cassidy stopped the flow of words in the nick of time and fiddled with the small napkin under her soft drink.

Nic was different tonight. He felt much more like a date and far less like her goofy neighbor. But she wasn’t complaining. She felt different, too, and had since he’d met her at the end of the race. Nonetheless, she had to be careful. Spilling her heart would be easy to do. A mistake perhaps, but easy.

Nic pushed a bowl of pretzels toward her. “Have I told you how pretty you look?”

She’d spent an inordinate amount of time trying to decide what to wear tonight, which was silly. Nic had seen her at her worst during the days of Alex’s colic.

Finally, she’d settled on a white and turquoise polka-dot sundress with matching bracelets, a white belt that cinched her waist and white sandals. The expression on Nic’s face when she’d opened her door told her she’d chosen well.

“You look pretty good yourself, mister.” His snow-white polo shirt set off his dark skin and black hair to perfection.

They smiled into each other’s eyes and Cassidy felt the effects of either runner’s high or Nic Carano. Maybe both.

A five-piece band kicked off with a well-known country tune. They listened for a while, talking in between tunes and sipping cold sodas. Nic’s lighthearted banter, his funny comments about the band, the music and the dancers relaxed them both. He was so easy to be with.

When the band eased into a slow song Nic leaned in, dark eyes mesmerizing. “Want to dance?”

She shook her head. “I’m not much of a dancer.”

“That’s okay.” A grin played around his mouth. “Dancing’s just an excuse to hold you anyway. No expertise required.”

“You’re silly.”

“Serious. Come on.” He scraped back his chair and stood, holding out a hand. “We’ll stand on the dance floor and hold each other while the band plays. No one will know we don’t dance.”

His sense of the ridiculous never failed to get to her. He was joking, teasing, being his usual funny self. But she had to admit, the idea of being in Nic’s arms sounded good.

Feeling almost giddy, Cassidy placed her palm against Nic’s and let him lead her to the dance floor. Dozens of festivity-goers crowded the long, narrow ballroom, many of whom spoke to Nic as they passed. A mix and mingle of voices and cologne and music swirled around them, heady and rich.

Cassidy thought she should be tired after today’s race, but she wasn’t. She was exhilarated, partly because of her good race time and the successful fund-raiser, but more because of the man at her side.

Instead of joining the crowd as she’d expected him to do, Nic worked his way to the perimeter of the room. Any farther away and they’d be out on the wide porch.

“Here we go.” He slid an arm around her waist, pulling her near but not so close as to breach respectability. She appreciated that.

They swayed in time to the music, talking most of the time, though Cassidy was acutely conscious of everywhere Nic touched her.

“Any new business ventures?” he asked, gazing down with the most enthralling, heart-stopping expression. What, she wondered, was he thinking?

“You’re not going to believe this, but my grandmother sent some work my way. She actually likes the idea of me being my own boss.”

“I’m shocked speechless.”

Cassidy laughed. “You’ve never been speechless in your life.”

“True.” He cocked his head to one side. “Well, maybe once.”

“When?” she asked in disbelief, sure he was still teasing.

By now, Nic had guided them smoothly out onto the porch and into the cooler evening air. The night pulsed around them; light flowed from the interior like butter melted across the concrete. Cars passed on the street and doors slammed; people came and went in nearby restaurants.

Nic’s expression grew serious.

“The first time ever I saw your face,” he said, quoting the old song.

Though the sentiment touched her, Cassidy refused to let him see. “Because I looked so awful?”

Instead of the witty rejoinder she expected, Nic’s voice dropped low and Cassidy could see the pulse beating in the hollow of his throat.

“Not even close,” he murmured, drawing her slowly nearer until they were heart to heart, his gaze holding hers with stunning intensity. Her own pulse fluttered, with the scariest, most amazing feeling she’d ever had.

“Why then?”

“Because,” he said, dark eyes liquid with something she couldn’t fully read. “You stopped me in my tracks.”

Cassidy fought the surge of tenderness, fought the melting of her resistance. “You probably say that to all the girls.”

“No,” he said, voice laced with frustration. “I don’t. Come on, Cass, throw me a bone here. I’m trying to be romantic.”

“Am I crushing your ego?” she asked, more for self-preservation than to get an answer. She was sinking fast.

His jaw tightened. “Is that what you want? To crush my ego?”

Stunned to think she could, Cassidy was suddenly contrite. She touched a palm to his smooth-shaven jaw and echoed his words in a whisper, “Not even close.”

The tension left his body as he exhaled a long breath and rested his face in her hair.

“Something’s going on between us, Cass,” he murmured, the words warm against her scalp. “Don’t you feel it, too?”

Oh, yes, she felt it. As powerful and overwhelming as a tsunami. Throat filled with inexpressible emotion, she nodded.

Nic tilted her head, strong hands bracketing her face with such tenderness. His fingertips made soothing circles at her hairline, his handsome face so near she could see the rims of brown iris circling black pupils.

“I care for you, Cassidy. A lot.”

“More than your entourage?”

“My what?”

“Mandy and Candy or whoever all those girls are.” If she sounded like a jealous woman, so be it. She needed to know.

“Way more. More than any woman I’ve ever known.”

His heart beat against hers and she could feel the
thud-thud
inside his chest. He was telling her the truth.

Gulping back the fear, Cassidy admitted, “I care for you, too, Nic. More than I can say.”

As if he’d been uncertain of her response, Nic pressed his forehead to hers and sighed. Music filtered out from the dance and they swayed in time, oblivious to everything else around them.

“So what are we going to do about it?” he murmured, his warm lips brushing her hairline as he spoke.

The possibilities were both wonderful and fearful.

“I don’t know,” she whispered. They were moving toward something that would either bring heartache or joy. Did she dare to take the risk with a man like Nic?

He lifted his head to melt her with a look. “Me, either. But how about this for starters?”

His lips touched hers in a kiss so shatteringly sweet,
Cassidy forgot her reservations as she returned the gentle pressure. Only when a thin siren’s wail broke above the other sounds, did she remember.

It required all her strength, all her resolve, to step away from Nic’s embrace.

Nic reached for her, caught her arm and tugged. “Don’t do that, Cassidy. Don’t pull away out of fear.”

“I can’t help it, Nic. Please understand.”

“I do understand. I know what you’ve been through. I know why fire terrifies you. After all the people you’ve lost, I’d be an idiot not to understand.”

Desperately wanting things to be different and hating herself for spoiling their romantic evening, she stepped toward him. With the flat of her hand against his chest, she said, “Don’t give up on me, Nic.”

His arms went around her, drawing her back to him. Softly he said, “I couldn’t if I wanted to.”

Hope returned. Maybe, just maybe, she and Nic could make this work. Tiptoeing, she kissed the dimple in his chin. “Once you leave the fire department everything will be fine.”

A muscle beneath his eye twitched. His gaze slid away to stare into the dark evening.

“Sure,” he said finally. “Everything will be great.”

But as Cassidy’s cheek rested against the thudding of Nic’s heart, she couldn’t help wondering about that moment of hesitation.

C
assidy hit the Send key on her computer and rolled back in the desk chair with a satisfied smile. One of Grandmother’s business contacts had just accepted her bid for a full Web site redesign, mail-out brochures and a logo update.

She stretched her arms high over her head to release the tension in her shoulders. Old-time rock and roll issued from her computer speakers. She stood to jitterbug around Alex’s playpen located next to her desk.

Life was good.

The thought caught her up short. She pulled it back like a curtain and considered it again. A few months ago, she could not have said such a thing.

“Thank you, sweet Lord,” she murmured. God had been faithful. He’d given her strength to face Janna’s death. He’d given her more joy than she ever imagined possible in Alex. Even when she’d lost her dream job, God had sent a better replacement.

Granted she wasn’t making as much money yet, but she was far happier running her own business.

Nic Carano’s idea had been positively inspired.

She smiled. Nic. Something really beautiful was growing there, too. She had even begun dreaming of a future with him once he left the fire department.

“Which makes both of us happy, doesn’t it, lambkin?” Cassidy leaned over the playpen rail to caress Alex’s sweet face. The baby had loved Nic first and had become the magnet that drew them together until fantasies of a real family played through her mind like a sweet melody. She, Nic and Alex.

Her baby nephew was such a precious boy. He deserved a mother
and
a father. Nic would be a wonderful father. She was certain of it. He loved this child, and though motherhood had changed her drastically, Cassidy was thrilled to be Alex’s mommy.

She swept him into her arms.

“You are getting so big,” she said. He cackled as if she’d said the funniest thing. Cassidy laughed, too, full of love for her nephew.

She sat Alex on the carpet and eased down in front of him to play. Lately she had to watch him every minute he was out of the playpen. He could roll from one side of the living room to the other faster than she could turn off a light switch. She’d discovered this the hard way one evening when she’d gone into the kitchen to snap off the light only to turn around and find him under her feet.

“Little stinker.” She wiggled his favorite squeaky toy. “Come get your bunny.”

Alex blew a sloppy, wet raspberry. Cassidy laughed, her mind drifting to Nic again. He and Alex exchanged raspberries on a daily basis. Nic’s were normally administered to Alex’s pudgy belly, an action that caused gales of delight from the baby.

From Cassidy, too. Watching Nic with Alex blessed her all the way to her bones.

Since the dance, they’d seen each other every day that
Nic wasn’t on duty. Sometimes he jogged up the steps just to kiss her good-night. On those occasions she went to sleep with a smile.

Today, he’d spent the morning with his mother, but he’d invited her down to his place for lunch at noon. Cassidy glanced up at the sunburst clock. Soon.

She’d thought and thought about his odd reaction to her comment the night of the dance. Surely she must have imagined the doubt in his eyes.

Lord, don’t let me be wrong.

Nic wanted to be a doctor. Med school was his dream. Now it was hers.

Once he resigned from the fire department she could breathe a sigh of relief, knowing he was safe. All her doubts and fears and anxieties would disappear then. They could be together without worry, without fear, without the deadly danger of losing someone else she loved.

Yes, as soon as he left firefighting, everything would be perfect.

At five minutes before noon, Cassidy swung happily down the stairs with Alex on her hip. She passed the postman and intercepted her mail, saving him a jog up to her apartment.

“Nothing but junk anyway,” she said, not caring one iota.

The carrier probably heard the complaint on a daily basis because he only smiled and moved on down the sidewalk. The rise and fall of metal mailbox lids clanked in an irregular rhythm as he distributed his load.

Cassidy pounded on Nic’s door as the carrier dropped several envelopes into the slot on the exterior wall.

Nic whipped the door open with a flourish.

“Soup’s on,” he declared, taking Alex from her grasp and giving her a peck on the nose during the exchange.

“Mail’s here,” she shot back, reaching under the lid to extract three envelopes and a sale insert. “Home Depot has chain saws on sale. Want one?”

“Don’t tempt me. Every man wants a chain saw.” He swung Alex in a circle. “Power tools rule.”

“I’ll remember that on your birthday.”

He looked pleased.

“What else did I get? Bills?” he asked, indicating the mail in her hand.

She’d been so engrossed in looking at him with Alex and enjoying that rush of pleasure at the bond between them, her mind had strayed.

She turned the envelopes upright. “Looks like the electric bill, cable and—” she frowned down at the return address. “—I don’t know what this one is.”

“Let me see.” Coming to her side, he leaned over her shoulder.

As if the sun had gone behind a cloud, his countenance changed. His smile faded. His stared at the envelope long enough for Cassidy to know something was wrong. Before she could ask, he took the missive from her fingertips, dropped it on the end table and headed for the kitchen.

“What is that, Nic?”

“Nothing much.” But he didn’t look at her.

“Then why are you acting so weird?”

“Is it okay if I put Alex on the floor while I dish up the grub?” he asked, clearly changing the subject. He knew she didn’t mind if Alex played on the little mat. That’s what it was there for. He even kept a basket of toys next to the couch.

Baffled by Nic’s behavior, she picked up the troubling piece of mail and reread the return address. Realization crept in like a thief, stealing her pleasure. “These are your MCAT scores, aren’t they?”