The Battle Lord Saga 02 - Her Battle Lord's Desire (18 page)

They stood that way for several minutes as Atty pressed her face in the woman’s shoulder

and let the grief she’d never allowed herself to completely give in to finally flow out of her like

water from a jug. Tory more than understood.

“I know I can’t take Eenoi’s place, but if there’s any way I can help you... I remember

when Fortune and I first got married. I had so many questions and worries, I don’t know what I

would’ve done if my mother hadn’t been there to answer them for me.” She pushed Atty back

until she could look into the woman’s eyes. “I’m here for you if you ever need me. You know

that, don’t you?”

Atty nodded, lifting a trembling hand to her face to wipe away the tears. “Tory...oh, God,

I don’t know where to begin.”

“Here.” Leading her back to the table, Tory sat her down in front of her, then took her

two hands in her own, giving them a good rub. “Okay. One thing at a time. What’s wrong? Are

you happy? Is he treating you well?”

Atty nodded. “I don’t think I’ve ever been happier in my life. He’s...he’s become my

whole life. I never thought it would be possible to love someone so much that it could hurt when

he’s away.” She tried to take a breath, but it caught in her throat. Atty bowed her head and

covered her face with her hands as silent sobs overtook her. Her shoulders shook almost

violently.

Tory kissed her hair and tried to comfort her as best she could. “Then what’s troubling

you?” she asked gently.

“I...I’ve been denying Yulen these past few nights.”

“Denying?”

Atty shook her head. “In my bed,” she managed to whisper.

“Why? Has he done something—”

“No,” Atty quickly assured her. “He’s never hurt me. He’s never been anything but

patient and gentle and loving with me.”

“Then why?”

“Tory, do you have any tunsul leaves?”

The older woman appeared taken aback by the question. “Why would you...Atty, have

you been taking the leaves?” At the woman’s nod, she gave her a confused look. “
Why?
”

“Because I’m terrified,” Atty confided. “I’m so scared our child, if we have one, will be

Mutah.”

“And why is that a bad thing?”

“Because you have no idea what I’ve had to go through just so I could love him!” Atty

exclaimed angrily. She got to her feet and began to pace back and forth in front of the fireplace.

“His people didn’t accept me in the beginning, any more than you would have accepted him if our

roles had been reversed.” She waved a hand to indicate outside the room. “Look at Piron. He

still has his hatred and his prejudices to work out. Yes, Yulen and his men slaughtered many of

our people. But I killed sixteen of his men, and I had to face those families when he took me back

to Alta Novis.”

“Didn’t he try to protect you from their anger?”

“Yes! Yes, he did. But I still suffered. There isn’t a day that goes by, even now, when

newcomers don’t come to the compound and make a derogatory comment about me when they

see me.”

“What does Yulen say when they do?”

Atty have a humorless laugh. “He doesn’t have to do anything. His men usually take care

of it for him.”

“His men?” Her eyebrows went up questioningly. “The soldiers take up for you?”

Atty nodded. “Funny thing. They accepted me a whole lot quicker and a whole lot easier

than the hunters caste did.”

“So what does this have to do with having a baby?”

Tossing a lock of deep indigo-colored hair over her shoulder, Atty explained. “I don’t

know if I’m ready to have a baby. I mean, I don’t know how to be a mother. I’ve never been

around babies, except for Keelor. I wouldn’t know the first thing about taking care of one.” She

sniffed and wiped the tears from her face. “What if our child is Mutah, and Yulen can’t stand the

sight of it?”

“Do you honestly believe that? Atty, I sat right here and watched the two of you together.

That man adores you.”

Atty walked over and sat back down beside the woman who was willing to be her

surrogate mother. “I-I just need more time. I couldn’t find my bag of leaves before we left Alta

Novis.”

“So you’ve been holding back on making love with him while you were coming here?

Atty, I’m sorry, but I don’t have any leaves to give you. If I did I would spare you enough to get

you back to your home, but we had a difficult time finding what we could this past year. I’m

totally out, but Fortune and I figured there was little if any chance I could bear fruit.” She tilted

her head and asked, “Haven’t you spoken to Yulen about this?”

“No.”

“Well, you should. You need to, before things get completely out of control. If he loves

you as much as I think he does, you’ll work this out. As for being around babies, did you know

Teal had a little girl?”

Atty’s face brightened. “Really? A little girl?”

Tory smiled. “Posso named her Valla. She’s absolutely the prettiest thing you’ve ever

seen.”

“What’s her mark?”

“She has extra skin running from her arms to her waist. She looks like she has wings. I’ll

take you over there to see her. Teal will be thrilled to see you.”

“How many does that make this year so far? Three?”

“Two,” Tory corrected her. “Miriam died last week. Some sort of cough that just

consumed her tiny body.”

The news seemed to deeply affect Atty. “That’s another thing, Tory. What if I can never

have children? What if I get pregnant, but can’t come to term? What if I give birth, and I lose the

baby anyway? What if—”

“Hush! Hush right now, Atrilan Ferran!” At Atty’s glance, Tory laughed. “Atrilan

Ferran D’Jacques,” she quickly amended. “So, what do you plan to do now? Now that there’s

no tunsul leaves you can have? Oh! What about the Battle Lord’s doctor? What’s his name?”

“Liam MaGrath.”

“Maybe he has something you can take.”

Atty shook her head. “I confided in him, but he says it’s my duty to give Yulen an heir, to

keep the D’Jacques Dynasty going.”

“He’s right,” Tory said. “It’s nature’s gift to you for being a woman, to bring new life

into this world. So if that doctor won’t give you anything, what are you going to do? Are you

still going to deny Yulen into your bed until you return to Alta Novis?”

Slowly Atty shook her head. “I can’t. I’m so hungry for him now, I’m just one giant

ache. And I know he feels the same way. We had...we had a major misunderstanding the other

night. I had to convince him I still loved him. Oh, Tory, I don’t know what to do. I want so bad

to make love to my husband, but...”

Tory shushed her again and drew her back into her embrace. “You’ve survived and

grown stronger because of your love for each other. Trust and put all your faith in that love

because it’s what’ll get you through this together. If you get pregnant, maybe you won’t have the

difficulty we have because the baby will be half-normal. I don’t know. I can’t promise anything,

but I do know this. Tell Yulen. And then love him. Life is too short to waste another day or

night not to spend it in his arms.”

It was some time later when Atty finally pulled away from her comforting hug and went

into the kitchen to splash cold water on her face. Giving the woman a kiss on the cheek, she bid

her goodnight and left the house. Tory watched her go until the young woman turned the corner

at the end of the street and was lost to view.

Maybe tomorrow would bring an end to the young woman’s dilemma. Tory hoped so.

For the sake of Eenoi’s and Dayman’s souls, she fervently hoped so.

A gentle movement at her back awoke her. For a moment Atty lay still, waiting for the

movement to repeat itself. When it didn’t, she carefully rolled over and sat up. She had no idea

when Yulen finally made it to bed last night, but somehow she’d been aware of him, of his

presence, his warmth, and his scent. He was lying at the moment on his stomach, face turned

toward her and his hands tucked beneath the small pillow. He’d kicked off all the coverings, and

in the pre-dawn hour his naked body was a long, beautiful treasure. The bundled blanket

separated them like an unspoken barrier.

Atty felt a tightness between her legs and a twinge deep below her belly. Without being

aware of it, she started to reach out toward him. Biting her lips, she stopped herself. If she

touched him, he would be alert instantly, and he would see the overpowering hunger on her face.

She wanted to make love him so badly, it was painful. Her need was greater than anything she

could remember. It was no longer a gnawing ache. It had grown into an almost debilitating

agony that was beginning to consume her thoughts.

Even in sleep she couldn’t escape the dreams and memories that made her whimper and

toss about. This was something she’d never imagined could happen to her, but she understood

why it had grown so much more powerful than it had been at the beginning when she was still a

virgin. When they’d had to make do with any release they could find without intercourse.

Her body knew his now. She knew the feel of him filling her, sliding heavy and hard,

sending her senses reeling, and creating within her an ecstasy that defied description. An ecstasy

he could and often brought to her night after night. Sometimes more than once a night. The loss

of that feeling, that joy, that soaring passion, had left her empty, dry, and weak.

Quickly she dressed, debating whether to kiss him goodbye. She opted instead to leave an

arrow on her pillow. It was a sign she’d left him in the past, back at Alta Novis. This time,

though, she made sure the barb was pointed directly at his chest, at his heart. He’d grasp its

meaning.

Ducking out of the tent, she waved at the sentry a few feet away. It was Dubois, and he

gave her a little salute in greeting. This early in the morning he would not call out the usual

announcement to let the compound know she was on the grounds. The soldiers knew by this time

that whenever she was up and about before daybreak, it meant she was on the hunt.

Quickly, Atty hurried over to the hunters lodge where all the caste members were meeting.

As she approached the group waiting to get started, she was greeted with warm hugs and

welcome smiles. Fortune, especially, gave her an extra fatherly hug, leaving her to suspect Tory

may have spoken with him.

“Stay to the east and north,” Sisson ordered. “Don’t try to find the biggest game you can.

We have almost five hundred to feed, so plenty of smaller game for variety will suffice. Any

questions? Atty, Fortune and Bertrand tell us you’re a force to reckon with.”

“I just want to prove to the Council that marriage hasn’t been my downfall,” she half-

teased, fingering her bow she wore slung across her shoulders. Her answer got a smattering of

chuckles from her peers.

“Very well. This should prove interesting. Good luck, hunters. Have a safe and

profitable hunt!”

They all dispersed, going their separate ways. Before she left the compound, Atty glanced

one last time at the blue tent in the distance, envisioning how he looked when she left, and

knowing he would be waiting for her when she returned. Sighing, she slipped through the small

side door in the wall and disappeared into the underbrush before the entrance closed behind her.

* * * *

“You’re going to give everyone the impression you’re a lay-about. Do you know what

time it is?”

Yulen groaned loudly. Opening one eye, he stared at the figure seated a few feet away.

“Who gave you permission to come in here?”

“Don’t need permission,” MaGrath grinned. “When breakfast is served and I don’t see

your shining face at one of the tables, my first thought is to your general health, which is my job

as your doctor, in case you’ve forgotten. Long night last night?”

“Long night doing my job,” Yulen grumbled, rubbing his face with one hand. “What time

is it?”

“Nearly nine. Everyone’s already eaten, but they’re saving some for you. Can you believe

these people have never had real coffee before?” He got to his feet and gestured at the pillow

beside the Battle Lord. “Is there any significance to the arrow?”

“It means Atty’s gone on the hunt. She leaves one on the bed to let me know where she is

when I wake up and find her missing.”

“I meant, is there any significance to it being pointed at you that way?” MaGrath

emphasized.

Yulen glanced down to see the point aimed directly at his left breast. Unable to help

himself, he grinned.

The physician let out a snort. “Never mind. I think I can guess. I’ll wait outside for you

to get dressed.”

“Haven’t you eaten?” He reached for the pants Atty had set beside him.

“Yeah, but I haven’t gotten to talk to you much this trip. I’ve missed your company,”

MaGrath admitted a bit reluctantly.

“I’m touched, Liam.”

“Yeah, well, don’t get used to it,” he quipped as he ducked out of the tent. It wasn’t long

before Yulen joined him, and together they walked over to the area that had been set up to feed

the soldiers.

“How’s Kiefer?” the Battle Lord inquired of the other injured man.

MaGrath nodded. “He’ll pull through, but he won’t have adequate use of that leg