“Yes, of course I do,” he said, a little annoyed that she was speaking to him like a child.
“Just throw the powder inside in the fire. It'll make a pillar of blue smoke. When she sees it in the sky, she'll come,” she explained, leaning against him as the pain grew stronger.
“Did you come up with that? It's brilliant,” he said as he reluctantly removed her from his lap and rose to do as she'd instructed.
“No,” she laughed. “Are men really so oblivious? It's the way our people have summoned midwives since time began.”
“I never knew that,” he said in awe.
“Yes, well, men are usually kept as far away from the birthing process as possible. You know that tradition demands it,” she said, shyly implying that he would have to be separate from her while she brought their child into the world.
“I'll not be separate from you during this,” he growled, pulling her to him again.
“You have to. It's tradition and you need to adhere to it. You're the chief’s son! You must do as tradition says. I'll be fine. I promise you that I'll bring your child into this world safely,” she said, though she wanted nothing more than to keep him with her through the entire painful ordeal that was to come.
“We have never let tradition dictate to us and I'm not about to start now. I'll not be away from you, especially not while you're in pain. Don't ask me to do that. I'll tear the heart out of anyone who tries to keep me from you. I'll go absolutely mad. I know that I will. How could I hear your cries of pain and know that you're suffering and not do something to comfort you,” he pleaded, looking at her as though he was scared to death that if she left his sight then he would never see her again.
“If it'll make you happy, then stay with me. I would love nothing more than to have your hand in mine as I go through this. It'd make me the happiest woman alive if the first thing that our little cub sees as he enters this word is your handsome, loving face,” she agreed, relieved that she would have his strength to rely on through the hours of pain and labor to come.
“I know I cannot take this pain from you but I'll be there for you. I'll be your strength. I promise you,” he said as he kissed her gently.
“My mother will be here soon. Will you help me up to the bedroom? I want to get in to my nightgown and settled in the bed before she arrives,” she asked, doing her best to keep the anxiety from her face.
“Yes, of course,” he said sweeping her up in his arms and carrying her towards their bedroom.
“I didn't mean for you to carry me. I'm not ill or injured. I can manage to walk myself,” she said, a little annoyed with his high handedness.
“I know you can, but this is all I can do for you. Please, let me?” he asked, looking at her with such love that she could no longer be angry with him.
Instead, she thought of the fact that their child was about to come in to the world. Before the sun rose on the next day, she would have their baby in her arms. They would truly be a family and it made her heart swell.
“I should not have growled at you. I'm sorry,” she apologized as the next wave of pain came.
“You're bringing our child in to this world. You can growl at me all you want. You can even maim me if it'll help you to forget about the pain for even a second,” he said sincerely, looking at her as though he was afraid she might break.
She was at a loss for words so she merely rested her head on his shoulder as he carried her the rest of the way. He helped her put on her nightgown and lay down on the bed beside her as they waited for her mother to arrive. He held her and whispered in her ear how much he loved her and how excited he was to hold their baby in his arms. His support made the pain easier to take.
When her mother came, she clearly disapproved of his presence there but she didn't say it aloud. Instead, she comforted her daughter and got to the work of helping her grandchild be born. For hours, she and Luke took turns putting cold compresses on her forehead and comforting her through the pain. Finally, it was time for the birth of her grandchild.
“I need you to push, Daughter,” her mother instructed.
“Mother, I'm scared. What if I can’t do this?” she asked, emotionally raw in her exhaustion.
“Your body is designed to have this baby, my child. Don't doubt that,” her mother said gently.
“It's not that, Mother. What if I cannot be the kind of mother that you were? What if I cannot be there for my children like you have been? What if I don't have the inner strength?” she asked, looking very much like she did when she was a scared little girl
“You have every bit of the strength that I have and more. Besides, you don't need to rely solely on your own strength. You have a partner to go through this with,” her mother reassured her as she pushed the hair from her face.
“Yes, my love,” Luke replied. “Together, we are strong enough to face anything. This child will be raised with love and protection. It'll grow and thrive, taking the best of both of us. We have nothing to fear. How could anything we accomplish together fail?” he asked lovingly.
Her face lit up before she said another word. “You're right. I know you're right. I'm just so tired,” she said. “I'm ready now. Hold my hand and I'll have this baby.”
He held her hand tightly and she did just that. She pushed and pushed until finally their son came forth into the world, with her eyes and his father’s mouth. Never were two parents more in love with a child than they were when they looked down on that sweet baby’s face.
THE FINAL
CHAPTER
Kalia looked down at the small baby in her arms and fell in love all over again. It had been six weeks since her son Benji was born and she fell more and more in love with him each day. Every day, she noticed some new change in him that took her breath away. It amazed her that she and Luke had created this perfect little cub.
Luke, for his part, was in awe of their child and with fatherhood. In their quiet moments together as a family, she would watch him and he took her breath away with the pure love and devotion he had for their son. She'd not thought it was possible to love him more than she already did, but seeing him as a father moved her beyond words.
On that particular morning, he had gone outside to bring in some firewood, giving her a rare moment alone with the baby. Usually, the three of them were inseparable, which was just fine with her. Still, it was wonderful to take a moment and just enjoy the tiny creature in her arms. He was, in her opinion, the most beautiful baby boy she'd ever seen. She wasn't alone in her opinion. Her mother and sister agreed, as did Luke’s father.
Her younger brothers were not entirely interested in the baby at the moment. They were not as bothered by the thought of her having a child of her own as she'd feared they would be. Rather, they just saw no use in him at the moment. They told her they were excited for him to grow big enough to play with them, which warmed her heart.
There had been no further threat from the other bear clan, leading her to believe that perhaps they'd worried for nothing. Still, though, she didn't say anything to Luke. She rather liked having him constantly at their side and she knew it couldn't last forever. She was determined to savor it while it lasted.
Just then, the baby began to wake. He cooed gently and wiggled in her arms, snuggling closer to her.
“There, there, child. Don't fear. Mommy is here,” she said as she pulled him instinctively closer to her. “Mommy and Daddy love you so much. We'll give you the best life, my sweet little boy. Then, you'll grow up to be a warrior like Daddy.”
As she said the words aloud, they knocked the wind out of her. It was hard enough, of course, knowing that Luke’s mission in life was to do battle to keep their tribe safe but the thought of her son facing such dangers was more than she could stand. She felt the tears threaten to fall and she could do little to hold them back. Instead, she let herself cry, looking at the innocent face of the child in her arms. She knew she needed to do all that she could to ensure there was peace by the time he became a man. She wanted him to lead a quiet, safe life without fear of imminent attack. She just wasn't at all sure how to go about accomplishing that goal.
That was how Luke found her when he returned moments later, his arms full of firewood. She sat there in their bed, tears streaming down her cheeks, the baby held tight to her. He caught one glimpse of her and dropped the firewood he was carrying and rushed to her. The loud crash of the wood hitting the floor didn't even startle Benji. He simply looked up at his crying mother in confusion.
In the blink of an eye, Luke was in the bed with them, his arms wrapped around her. “What on earth is the matter, darling?” he asked gently as he ran his hand through her hair to calm and reassure her.
“It's nothing at all, I promise,” she said, shaking her head and trying to regain control of her emotions.
“It doesn't look like nothing,” he said skeptically, using the pad of his thumb to brush a stray tear from her cheek. “Is something wrong with the baby? You must tell me. I can’t do anything to make it better if you don't tell me what is wrong. Please, I need to know. I need to do everything I can to make sure you're both happy and healthy. You're the only two people in this world who matter to me and I need to know what is wrong.”
“I was just thinking of what he'll be like as a man,” she said quietly. It was the truth, yet without enough detail to hurt him or fill him with the same fear that she felt.
“And this makes you cry tears of sadness?” he asked, unconvinced by her explanation.
“People cry happy tears,” she said, trying to get her voice to carry the teasing voice it usually did but she didn't quite manage it.
“Those were not tears of happiness or joy. They were the tears of a broken heart. Please, tell me what it is that you saw in our son’s future that made you cry,” he asked, his face full of concern.
“It's not something that I saw, exactly,” she explained. “I just thought of what the future will hold for him and he'll face the same threats that we do. He'll be a warrior, just like you are. It's a proud tradition; I know that. I just don't want our son to face any dangers. I want him to have a safe and peaceful life, but I couldn't think of any way to shield him from it. It broke my heart to think of our sweet baby growing up to be a man who would have to risk his life to keep those he loves safe. It's hard enough for me to think of you doing battle, as strong and powerful as I know you to be. How could I think of this sweet baby facing that one day and not shed tears? I'm not made of stone,” she said defensively.
“My sweet mate, you're not alone in those worries. I hate the thought of him being trained as a warrior. I want him to be as far from that life as possible. I don't want him in danger but I also don't want him to know the feeling of taking the life of another. You know that feeling now. You bear the scar of such things on your very soul. I don't want that for him. Don't worry too much about it, though. I've a plan,” he said, wrapping his arm around her and staring at the quiet cub in her arms.
“What sort of plan is that? How do you think you can solve decades of strife and blood shed just because you don’t want our son to face it,” she asked skeptically.
“I can and I will. I don't want this for him. I'm training the warriors with more grueling regiments than ever before. They are the strongest and most skilled champions our tribe has ever seen. When our enemies come to attack us, we'll defeat them once and for all. We are going to end this. We didn't seek the war that's coming, but we'll be the victors. I'll not allow any other outcome,” he answered, so sure, that she couldn't help but believe him.
“But everything has been so quiet. They have abandoned their plans to attack us and I know you, you'll not attack them without provocation,” she said, trying to process what he was saying.
“Well, that's something I may need to apologize to you about. You see, I didn't want to worry you, especially towards the end of your pregnancy. Our patrols are routinely coming across their scouts in our area. There have even been a few skirmishes. None of our tribe have been seriously wounded, but these are all the warning signs that they are, in fact, plotting a large scale attack against us,” he explained, looking a bit guilty that he had kept the information from her for so long.
“I don't know whether to be angry with you or to hug you. Thank you for not giving me that worry while I was with child, but please don't keep such things from me. I need to know the dangers we face so that I can keep Benji safe from them,” she said as she looked down at their son.
“I promise you I'll not keep that sort of information from you in the future, but I don't want you to worry about keeping the baby safe. You just worry about raising him to be as caring and loving as you are. I'll keep you both safe,” he vowed.
“We have a deal. You said once I had the baby you would train me to fight to protect him. I'm holding you to that promise,” she said fiercely.
“Now, now…there's no need for that. My warriors will have this all settled before any of them come close to you or the child. We cannot have you running off into the line of fire when there's no need. You just focus on keeping him happy and healthy and I'll do the rest,” he said dismissively, kissing her gently on top of the head when he finished speaking as though the conversation was over.
“It isn't an option,” she growled. “If you'll not train me like you promised, I'll begin to train myself again. I'll do it with the baby strapped to my back if I have to. I refuse to be passive. I'll not be a waiting victim for them, unable to protect my child. It was bad enough when I could do nothing more than stand off to the side while you battled Bertram to the death, but I accepted that because there was nothing more that I could have done. Now, there's something more I can do. I can learn to fight. I'm not asking you to send me to the battle lines. I'm only asking that you prepare me for all possibilities.
"I love you more than life itself, Luke, but I love our son more. There are few things I would ever go against your wishes on, because you know how it pains me to know that I've added worry to your already burdened mind. Still, for his safety, there's absolutely nothing I wouldn't do. You must realize that,” she threatened, her eyes fiery and fierce, reminding him just why it was that he loved her so deeply. Still, her plans infuriated him and he couldn't entirely keep his anger in check.
“How will you train? I know now that you sneaked around, watching me train the warriors. You'll not be nearly as stealthy with the baby attached to you. I'll know in a second that you're there. It just will not work and you know that,” he said, with an edge in his voice that she couldn't miss.
“You're not the only warrior in our tribe. If you'll not train me, I'm sure there are others who would see reason,” she said, unblinking as she glared at him.
His fury was instant and undeniable, though she couldn't understand what about her words had spurred such rage in him. “I'm sure that there would be no shortage of warriors willing to teach you anything you asked. I know each of my trainees is at least half in love with you. I don't blame them, either. You're a very hard creature not to fall in love with, even if you have a tendency to do infuriatingly dangerous things without once thinking of yourself or your safety, but you listen to me now. If you dare to have one of them train you, I don't care who it is, I'll challenge him to battle and I'll be the victor. I'll not have you sneaking off to meet anyone, no matter what the purpose and you should know better than to even hint at it. My inner bear instincts are too strong to allow it.
"You're my mate and you belong with me. I wouldn't want to, but I would kill any man who agreed to teach you because I would know in my soul that it was because he loves you, that all he really wants is the chance to touch you and be near you; to steal you away from me. I know you would probably be safer if one of them did take you away from me. At least then you and Benji would be far from all of this and safe, but I cannot allow it to happen. I need you both with me too much. Even for your own good, I cannot allow you to leave me,” he ranted, looking as wild as she'd ever seen him in his human form.
Then and only then did she realize how worried he had been for months about the coming threat, all the while working to make sure she had no worries or fears at all. It made her fall in love with him all over again, no matter how irate he was or whom he threatened to kill to keep her.
She knew his love for her and their son was too deep for him to even consider the thought that something might happen to either of them. That was why he didn't want to train her to fight. If he did, it was admitting he and his men might fail to protect her and Benji and that she might be put in the perilous situation he feared most.
The wave of understanding didn't negate her own inner instincts, telling her that learning to fight was inevitable, but it did give her a better understanding of his reasons. It wasn't that he deemed her too weak or feminine. It was that the very thought of having failed to keep their enemies from her would drive him nearly mad. She could tell from his ramblings about her leaving with another warrior he had played every possible course of events over in his head in an attempt to anticipate any threat they might face, and he was consumed by those that he couldn't prevent; those that gave him no control to protect her.
Wordlessly, she laid the baby beside her on the bed and wrapped both arms around her mate, who tensed up and looked at her as if he suspected that she'd gone quite mad. It only took him a fraction of a second though to wrap his strong arms tightly around her and crush her to his chest, breathing in the sweet scent of her.
“Darling,” she began slowly, "try to understand. The way your instincts are screaming to you that you must keep me as far as you can from all that has to do with the fighting is the same way that mine are urging me to prepare myself to protect our family. It's not that I've any doubt in your ability to protect us. I know you're the fiercest warrior of them all and I know that you would lay down your own life for me or Benji, but that doesn't stop the need in me to be able to protect him. I love you just as much as you love me and I want to be able to keep you and Benji safe just as you can keep us safe. Can you imagine the feeling you would have if you were not trained to protect those that you love?”
“I had not even considered that,” he said slowly, staring down at her as though he wasn't entirely sure that she was real, safe there in his arms. “It's not that I don't want you to fight for our son and I don't want you to be helpless, but I cannot bear to even think of the things that could happen that would make it necessary for you to fight. It'd mean I had left you alone. It'd mean I failed and I cannot even consider failure. It cannot be an option if we are to win.”
“You'll not fail us. You never could. I love you and I believe in you. Don't even consider doubting that,” she said, holding him even tighter.
“Then why do you insist on learning to fight?” he asked, looking truly anguished.