The Beginning of Us (178 page)

She’s fully awake now, and looking up at me all dreamily and sexy as fuck.

“Hey, sleepyhead. Feeling a little better?”

“Much better. What time is it? How long have I been out for?” Her voice is so sultry when she’s sleepy. I’ll have to make a conscious effort to wake up next to her more often.

“It’s almost three. I just got done texting Melanie. She thinks I kidnapped you.”

Maddy chuckles. I guess Melanie is partly right; I did kind of kidnap Maddy. “She would think that! Let’s just say with all the shit that’s been going on with us, you haven’t been her favorite person.” Her arched eyebrow is so fucking snarky. I love it.

“That’s completely deserved on my part. I’ll make it up to her and to you. I promise.” Winking an eye at her, I hope that she’ll let me make it up to her.

I kiss her lightly on the lips and slip out of bed, fearing that if I stay next to her any longer we’ll never get out of here. Don’t get me wrong -- I’d love to spend the day and night in bed with her, but I’m going to do this right. She deserves it.

As I’m pulling a T-shirt over my head, Maddy comes behind me, and wraps her arms around my waist and presses her cheek against my back.

“Can I ask you something?” She sounds uncertain, and I immediately wonder what I’ve done wrong.

“Anything, sweetness, you can ask me anything.”

Anything except why I hurt. I’m not ready for that yet.

“What do you think happened with me and Logan?” Her voice is a bit uncertain. This is a raw nerve for her, and I know I acted like a fool with her and Logan. Her business is hers. God knows I’ve got no right to be judgmental.

“He told me you guys slept together. And that’s fine, Maddy. I’m in no position to judge what you’ve done.” Suddenly, I regret every sexual encounter I’ve ever had.

The atmosphere in the room shifts as she gathers her words. “And you believed him? Did you ever think to ask me what happened?”

She’s hurt. We’re two minutes into this relationship – or whatever the hell we are – and I’ve already gone and fucked it up.

“I’m sorry, Maddy. It’s just that when I saw you in his clothes coming out of his room, well, what was I supposed to think? Then when I talked to him later he told me that he’d fucked you, so what was I supposed to do?”

So much for avoiding heavy conversation.

“For starters, you could have called me, gotten my side of the story, rather than jump to conclusions.”

She puts things so simply. I am an ass.

I’m definitely going to set Logan straight on this one. Lying to me is one thing, but talking shit about Maddy is just not fucking cool.

I try to lighten the mood and say, “Well, I don’t have your number, so I couldn’t do that, now, could I?”

She rolls her eyes at me and storms off to get her purse. God, she’s adorable when she’s in a frenzy. I love it.

I hear my phone buzz on my nightstand. She’s holding her phone up in the air and wiggling it around. “There. Now you have it. If you ever want to know anything, call me. Ask me. Don’t just blindly assume the worst. And for the record, I did not sleep with Logan.” A blush creeps up her neck and face with the last piece of information, but she continues, “I’ve never slept with anyone, actually.” The last part is barely a whisper.

So that’s what it feels like to have the wind knocked out of you
.

She sees that I’m taken back by her revelation. Is she serious? She’s never slept with anyone? She’s gorgeous. How has she not been snatched up by this point?

“Reid, say something, anything. Please.” Her face is still a bright red at her embarrassment, and I just can’t seem to get over my shock.

She continues trying to defend something that needs no defense at all. “I told you I’ve never let anyone in. I’ve never allowed myself to get that close. I understand if you’d rather not take me out now. I know I’ve got nowhere near as much experience as you. That’s why I thought you should know before things got too serious. Ugh, listen to me. ‘Before things get too serious’ – we haven’t even gone out, and I’m talking about getting serious.”

My lips silence her rant. She is so damn cute I can’t help it.

“Maddy. Stop it. Listen to me. I’m sorry I didn’t go to you to find out what really happened. I promise to talk to you before I jump to conclusions. As far as you being a virgin – well, I’m just a little shocked. That’s all. You’re beautiful and funny and smart and, well, just plain amazing.”

She smiles at my list of compliments. “So it’s not a big red ‘X’ for you? Me being a virgin, I mean?”

She’s fucking adorable.

“Are you fucking kidding me – of course not. Not at all. We’ll take things slowly. It’ll kill me, but we will. I told you I want to do things right. Don’t take this the wrong way, but I’ve had lots of sex.” Oh, my fucking God, could I sound more like an ass right now? I try to backtrack. “What I mean is that I’ve had lots of
just
sex. That’s all it’s ever been – just sex. There’s never been any intimacy, any connection, any desire for more.”  Okay, that’s a little better.

“And you want those things? Intimacy? Connection? More? With me?” She has every right to be skeptical, but I can’t deny that her disbelief stings a little.

“Yes, Maddy. I’d like for you to give me a chance to earn those things with you. I’m not going to say that it’ll be perfect all the time. I’ve never done this before, but I want to try with you. And hell, if the physical stuff comes as part of that package, then that’s fucking fantastic.” I wink to try and lighten the mood before I continue in a more serious vein, “And if it doesn’t, then that’s fine, but after this morning I have a pretty good feeling that it won’t be a problem. Just know that I’m not pushing you. I want to be with you, and when you’re ready, well, we’ll just take it one step at a time. Okay?”

“ Okay – that definitely sounds like a plan.” She wraps her arms around me again this time, pressing her face to my chest. I can feel the stress leave her body.

“Can I ask you something now?” I prod.

“Of course, Reid.”

“How’d you get my number?” I waggle an eyebrow, and she all but chokes on her words.

“Umm...well…. I asked Cammie for it. You know, just in case.”

That crazy adorable blush is back, and I can’t help but kiss her.

“It’s okay, Maddy. I’m glad you had it. You know, ‘just in case.’”

She playfully slaps my chest and rolls her eyes.

“Okay, so if we’re done with the Q&A, I’d like to get you home now.”

“Kicking me out already, huh? You got the next girl out in the hall or something?” She’s trying to be sarcastic about it, but I can hear the real worry.

I grab her shoulders firmly and look in her eyes. “Listen to me carefully, Madeleine. I told you I wanted to do this right. I promise you that I will not go behind your back. It’s just you. There’s no one else. I’ve wanted you since I first saw you, and I’m going to try my hardest not to fuck that up. So stop this nonsense of me being with other girls. It’s just you. Got it? I want to get you home because I know Melanie is worried sick about you, and I told her I would have you back by four. By the way, you’d better check your voicemail -- she said she’s been trying to get in touch with you since early this morning.”

At the end of my little speech, I kiss her firmly and passionately to get my point across. When I pull back, her eyes are wide and she’s out of breath.

“Got it. Yup, definitely got it,” she stammers as she lightly traces her fingers over her swollen lips.

I drive her back to the dorms and walk her to her door. She protests, saying that I don’t need to escort her to her door, and I just shoot her a knowing glare.

“I told you that I’m doing this right. Now, shush.”

She just rolls her eyes in response.

“Will you be back at the gym now that we’ve made up?” God, I hope so. Those spandex running shorts are so worth getting up at the crack of dawn.

“Do you want me there? I don’t want to make you feel like I’m cramping you or anything, but it is getting a little cold to run the trails anyway.”

“You’ve been running the trails by yourself? That’s not safe, babe. What if something happened to you? Please say you’ll come back to the gym.”

“Okay, then. I’ll see you tomorrow morning. Thank you again, Reid, for everything. I know you said to stop saying that, but thank you. Being drugged aside, this morning was the best I’ve ever had.”

She reaches up and gives me a sweet kiss before she disappears into her suite. As I watch her walk away, I feel another piece of that wall I once thought so impenetrable crack open.

*****

I’m excited as hell to get to the gym the next morning. If I said it was all about this new MMA class I enrolled in, I’d be lying my ass off. Maddy’s back today, and I love that I get to start my day with her. I meet her at the door.

“Good morning, beautiful.” I lean down to kiss her, and she seems hesitant. “What? Don’t want to be seen in public with me?” I ask, partially kidding, but I really hope she’s okay with me kissing her, because being without her for the last twelve hours has been a killer.

Definitely needed a cold shower to make it through the night.

“No, that’s not it at all. I just thought you didn’t want to be seen with me. I figured the date was one thing. We didn’t really set any boundaries or anything yesterday, so I didn’t know what to expect this morning.”

“I guess saying that I want you isn’t enough, huh?” I arch an eyebrow at her. “Let me clarify, Maddy. I not only want to go on your first official date with you, but I’d like to date you, exclusively. If that’s okay with you, I mean. I don’t want to be to presumptuous or anything.” Did those words just come out of my mouth? Exclusively? I am in deep here.

“So what would that make me? What would that make us?”

She really doesn’t get it, and her uncertainty makes me wonder if I’m not being clear enough.

“Well, I’d like for you to be my girlfriend. When I thought you had been with Logan, I was beside myself with rage. Logan’s face can attest to that.” I snicker, and she shoots me a stern look.

Okay, not funny yet.

“And then when you were flirting with that guy at Shooters, well, I lost it then, too. I can’t say I’ll be any good at it -- fuck, I’ve never done it before -- but I’d like to have a real relationship with you. Something about you makes me want to try at least.”

Her shocked silence has me teetering on the edge of sanity for a moment. I want to ask her what she thinks. I want to make some wiseass remark, but I don’t want to scare her away, and I don’t want to make her think I’m not serious. I’m very serious, so much so that it scares me, but I’ve never been more willing to try. So try I will.

She still hasn’t said anything, so I break the silence.

“Look, maybe that’s a bit too soon. I’m sorry. Maybe you’d feel more comfortable waiting to see how our date goes and then we’ll take it from there? Does that sound more reasonable?” I’ll wait a week for her. Might take a lot of cold showers, but I’ll wait.

“No.”

What the fuck did I do wrong? Why is she saying no?

She catches my wounded look. In a split second her arms are around me, and she’s reaching up on her toes to kiss me. She tastes minty-fresh and steaming hot at the same time. Her tongue dances around mine passionately. God, I love her kisses. When she pulls back, I can’t help the confused look that creeps across my face.

She sees it and begins her explanation.

“What I mean, Reid, is that waiting until our date is most definitely not more reasonable. I’ll be honest. When you left me hanging on the dance floor that first time we met to go make out with the Barbie look-alike, I lost it, too. I do not like the idea of you with anyone else, either. So if you’d like to be my boyfriend, then nothing would make me happier than to be your girlfriend.” She smiles sweetly and reaches up on her toes again to plant a soft, innocent kiss on my lips and adds,

“And just so you know, Reid, I’m scared, too. Maybe more than I let on. I am so scared of being hurt, but I feel safe with you. I believe you when you say that you’re going to try your hardest. I’m not certain that either one of us isn’t going to screw things up and that we won’t get hurt, but I know, or at least I hope, that we won’t hurt each other on purpose.”

She feels safe with me.

I have never felt as content as I do right now. She gets it. She’s just as scared as me, and she’s still willing to give it a try.

“Maddy, I hope one day that I have half as much strength as you do. You amaze me. You know that, right?”

“Me? Strong? Nah, you must be mistaking me for my kickass boyfriend who,” She glances down at her watch before she continues, “is going to be late to his little ‘fight club’ if he doesn’t get his ass in gear.”

“Oh, shit, you’re right. I’ll catch you when we’re done, and I’ll walk you to the library.” I kiss her lightly and slap her playfully on the ass as she saunters into the gym ahead of me. She peers back at me and gives me an “I can’t believe you just did that” look. I just shrug my shoulders and smile back.