The Beginning of Us (293 page)

"Do you have my keys?"

"Oh yea, I guess those help huh?" He says with a laugh.

I leave out a giggle as he hands my keys over, his fingers gently touching mine. Geez I just can't get enough of his touch and it’s just our hands.

I put the key into the lock and open the door. Without asking if he wants to come in and stay, I pull him into the apartment so he doesn't have the chance to leave and go home.

"Char, I want you to know that I don't have to stay here. I don't want you to be uncomfortable; I’ll call Derrick to come get me."

"What are you talking about Riley? What gives you the impression I’d be uncomfortable?" I ask as I move my way through the apartment turning on lights.

"Honestly I don't know Char; I just don't want to screw this up."

I’m relieved at what he has just said; he doesn't want to screw this up...so he thinks there could be an us? YES!

"I don't think you are doing anything wrong. How about we go back to the Jeep, grab the bags out of the back, and then you can let Derrick know you’re staying here. That’s if it’s okay with you?"

Oh god, oh god! Should I not have just told him to stay here? Why do I feel like a complete ass right now?

I turn to head toward the door and Riley grabs my hand.

"Do you feel this too?" He asks.

“I do. Do you?" I ask.

"Babe, you have no idea how it makes me feel to touch you. It drives me insane."

In that moment I’m stunned. I want to move in closer to him, but at the same time I have the feeling that I need to freshen up first.

So before the moment gets any more intense I lead him to the door and head out to the parking lot.

RILEY

Driving Char home is the best ending to a perfect day. I had so much fun with her and Derrick and I got to know both of them better.

Things are going so right in this moment; I don't want it to end.

We are just down the block from Char's apartment and she is still sleeping next to me in the passenger's seat. She looks so peaceful and beautiful. Lying curled up in the seat with waves of dark hair cascading along her face. I just want to touch her.

With every second that has passed by today I want even more to be close to her. To smell her sweet scent and feel the tingles that goes through my body when we are near.

Pulling into the small apartment complex I try to imagine which one is hers. I’d love to carry her, but I have no clue where to go.

I pull out my cell and shoot a text to Derrick asking for Char's apartment number.

While I wait to hear back, I try and wake her but she won't budge. Derrick finally replies with Char's apartment number so I figure I might as well carry her. I quietly get out of the driver side and walk on over to get her out of the Jeep. I take a quick glance in her direction and see her eyes close.

"That little shit." I mumble.

Do I continue to play along with her little charade or should I let her in on the fact that I know she is awake? Nah, I'll play along. See how long it takes her to break.

I open the door and lift her out. I love the way she wraps her arms around my neck and nuzzles her face against my skin.

I approach her door and stand as still as possible. She’s got to give sooner or later; otherwise we’ll be sleeping out here on her welcome mat.

I hear her softly say my name and I have to hold back my smile. She is a sly little fox; let’s see how far she is willing to take this. I can only hope she asks me to stay with her tonight.

After a few moments, Char pulls me into the apartment and I’m dying to get my hands on hers, my mouth on hers, and spend the rest of the night holding her close against my body. I sense the moment is right and we are beginning to share the connection we both feel but she suddenly backs away. She suggests we get the things from the Jeep. She says I should call Derrick I let him know I’m staying the night.

At first I’m confused, but once she tells me she wants me here I know this is where I will stay.

Chapter 10

CHAR

This man is a gem, he has helped me unload the Jeep and put the roof back on for me.

"You are something else Riley. To think that a week ago today I heard your deep, raspy voice for the first time. And now you’re sitting in my living room."

"Well you know what they say, everything happens for a reason. I think maybe we were supposed to meet like that. Makes the conversation of how we met that much more exciting." He says with a grin.

How did this happen so fast? How can I have these feelings for this man so quickly? Is it wrong that I want to beg him to stay with me forever?

"We'll I don't know about you, but I could sure as hell use a shower. Do you mind if I use your bathroom right quick?"

"Of course, go ahead. Is there anything you need?"

"Nah, Derrick conveniently left my bag in the Jeep. I’ll be right out."

Oh god how I wish I could be in that shower with him right now. I can imagine running my hands up and down his lean body, ugh I can't stand it. I need to touch him and have him touch me.

As soon as Riley comes out of the bathroom, I am ready to switch places so that I can freshen up as well.

The door opens and Riley walks out in a pair of shorts and a tee-shirt. I just about die from the look of him, but I need to make my way into the shower before I start something I don't want to stop.

As I pass him, I let him know I opened a beer and set out snacks if he gets hungry.

I try to take the quickest shower known to man and within record time I’ve shaven my legs scrubbed the day away feeling fresh and clean.

I am nervous to go out there. It’s not as if I’ve never been with a man before, but for some reason being with Riley could be different.

Having experienced heartbreak, and an ending to a relationship I thought was going well, it makes it hard to trust again.

I want so badly to trust Riley and start something great with him, but what if he hurts me too?

What if I’m not enough for him and he goes on without me like Marc did? Too many awful things happened to me after I had the 'Marc' meltdown. Not only did I lose my boyfriend and best friend, but I lost all my friends in the break up.

Fuck! What I wouldn't do to have a girlfriend to confide in and offer helpful advice. I could always turn to Chloe but she is so self absorbed right now that the conversation would somehow turn to her. I know Derrick would lend an ear, but to talk about my love life just seems weird; especially because right now it involves his roommate Riley.

I have so many reservations going into another relationship and this is why I haven’t dated anyone in a year.

Maybe this was a bad idea flirting with Riley and asking him to stay here.

Oh god what was I thinking? Well of course I know I wasn’t thinking with my brain. Instead my sex drive took over and I am in a situation with this gorgeous man.

Ugh, I'm such a nut case.

In order to avoid an awkward evening, I’ll just go back out to the living room. I can gather pillows and a blanket for him, and wish him a good night.

Yes, that will work.

RILEY

Shit what is taking her so long in the bathroom? The water shut off 20 minutes ago. Should I check on her? Did she fall asleep on the toilet or worse did she fall and hit her head?

That's it! I’m giving her five more minutes and I’m knocking down the damn door. I can barely wait another second to see her again and put my arms around her, to touch her.

I crave her touch and I’m not sure what is going on with this attraction I have for her. I haven’t felt this way about any other woman.

Char is beautiful, smart, funny, and I love the way our bodies communicate with one another. It’s as if she was made for me.

I’ve had my share of relationships, but no woman has ever sent shivers through me like Char does.

I hear the bathroom door open and I snap out of my trance.

Standing to walk in her direction, she storms right past me.

What the fuck! Did I do something to piss her off? Where is she going? Am I supposed to follow her?

"Hey Char? What are ya doing babe? You want me to grab you a beer or pour you a glass of wine?"

I begin to walk in the direction of her bedroom and she bolts out with her arms full of pillows and a blanket.

"I’m sorry, were you saying something? I was in the closet and couldn't hear you that well." She says in a soft tone.

What is she doing? Are these for me? Does she expect me to sleep out here on her couch?

"Char? Babe are you ok?" I ask as a whisper.

I’m not sure what’s going on, but I’m worried I did or said something. I don't know how to fix it.

"Yea, I’m fine. I’m just sleepy from being on the lake today, so I thought I’d set you up out here. Will these pillows and blanket be enough for you?"

She is talking to me or more like at me, but won't look me in the eye. What the hell is going on?

I walk over to her and take the bedding from her arms. I hold onto her waist with one arm and lift her chin with my right hand so that her eyes are looking into mine.

In this moment I want to kiss her more than anything, but something is not right and I must figure out what it is and how I can fix it.

Her body begins to tremble and I pull her harder against me.

"Riley don't, please." She can barely get the words out of her mouth. I think she’s going to cry.

"Baby, whatever I did to upset you I’m so sorry. I thought today was perfect and I enjoyed every minute I spent with you. I do understand though if you don’t feel the same. I’m fine to sleep out here on the couch. Go ahead and tuck yourself into bed and I’ll have Derrick come get me in the morning."

It hurt to say that to her, but I sure as hell won't push her into anything.

"Thank you Riley. I’m sorry for leading you on like this; it wasn’t right of me. I just have personal issues I need to deal with and right now isn’t a good time. Can we still be friends?"

Oh my fucking god, she just tore out my heart and beat it with Derrick's stupid fucking hammer.

"Yea Char I get it, it’s fine. Go to bed babe, I’ll see you later, ok?"

"Will you be here when I wake up? I can make us breakfast." She says.

"I doubt it. I don't think it’s a good idea if we see each other for a little while. Come on now get in bed and sleep well Char. Thank you for today. It was probably one of the best days I’ve ever had and I’m glad I spent it with you."

With that I let her go. I take my hands from her trembling body and turn my back on her. Knowing that I won’t be falling asleep, I watch for her bedroom light to go out, and send a text to Derrick asking him to come get me.

Fuck, this is not how I pictured this night ending and I’m going to have to explain it to Derrick.

Chapter 11

CHAR

The moment I walk away I regret my actions. I could tell by his facial expression that he was hurting, but I didn't know if or how deep his feelings went for me. As much as it hurts now, it’s best that I end this lustful charade before someone gets hurt.

I’m not the type of person who can to do a relationship and that’s something he wants and deserves.

Riley just doesn't know it yet and once he finds someone else, he will realize I made the right choice.

I settle my thoughts and listen to see what Riley is doing. I can hear his footsteps walking around in the apartment and a part of me wants to run out there and just touch him.

I feel better, no more like I feel whole when I am touching him, but this will never work.

"What was that?" I say aloud without even realizing it.

The sound of the door shutting startles me from my thoughts.

Did Riley just leave?

Not that I blame him after what I just did, but I thought he would have at least stayed the night.

I get out of bed and head for my bedroom door. Luckily I was sleeping in a tee-shirt and shorts, after all Riley was right out in the living room. I was not about to take a chance of sleep-walking in my intimate apparel.

I make my way out to the living room to find the blankets and pillows still folded in a pile and no Riley. I walk around in a stupor. I’m confused, but I know what happened. This is entirely my fault. I pushed him away because of my lack of confidence in making a relationship work.

I can't even call him to see if he’s okay because we never exchanged numbers. It’s better this way. I told him I had issues and he said it was best we not see each other for a while.

"God I’m a fucking idiot." I mumble into the pillow.

I do a double take and sniff at the pillow. Oh my god the pillow smells like Riley. I’m a moron, an absolute lost cause that has no clue how to start, keep, or even handle a relationship. Charlotte Jayde Taylor what the hell is wrong with you?

I set down the pillow and walk to the kitchen for a bottle of water. Walking past my small dinette I see a folded piece of paper.