The Beginning of Us (9 page)

“Fuck yes. Let me hear you scream.” He is using my body as a tool to slam into me harder each time pulling me toward him with more force than before. I scream as he slams against my walls, feeling like he is going to break through. My screams only encourage him as he grips my hips harder. When Damon stops moving I relax against him thankful for the pause in action, at the same time that my greedy body is begging for more. “I know your legs are probably weak but I need to see that sexy ass bent over for me.”

He steps back pulling me with him. When we are about two feet from the wall his hand releases my hip and pushes my head down so I’m bent at a 90-degree angle. “You may want to brace yourself” is all he says to me before his hand grasps my hair and he slams into me. My hands find the wall trying to get any traction I can against the slippery surface. I feel like I am going to go headfirst into the wall at any moment.

My body is loving his roughness though, and I can feel myself building. I start to lift myself up more but he holds me in place. Right now he is so dominant, controlling, and everything else that I hate. It’s fucking hot.

I bite my lip knowing I’m about to come, and once it hits me, I scream. Damon is still going though, and I feel like I won’t be able to stand up much longer. His grip on my hair tightens making me whimper, but at the same time I swear I get wetter. He groans as he comes slowing down the pace he has kept this whole time.

When he releases my hair, I rise slowly my back and legs sore. I step away from him and grab the soap, trying to work through my feelings. Sex didn’t solve the problem, even though it made me forget it for a while. Once I’m done getting washed I step out and grab a towel. Damon hasn’t moved from where I left him, and I can’t help but wonder what is going on in his head.

When I walk into the bedroom, I grab some clothes and call Lo.

“Shouldn’t you be boning or something?”

“Been there, done that, bitch. I need some advice.”

“What’s up?”

I take a deep breath. “I think he is ashamed of me, Lo. He has family here but when I mentioned visiting them he got all weird.”

“Well you know what they say. Why buy the cow when that bitch gives away free milk to everyone.”

“You’re a fucking asshole! I need real advice before he comes out of the bathroom.” I turn my head to laugh not wanting Lo to know that she got to me.

“Alright get ready to take some notes, whore. You just met him. You guys have fought, broken up, gotten back together, and knowing your crazy ass you have probably physically abused him once or twice. Give him some time before you meet the family. Plus, he might need to warn them first about your psychotic ass.”

The bathroom door opens and Damon silently walks over to where his suitcase is. “I have to go. I’ll talk to you tonight.”

“Okay, just remember not to go all single white female on him.”

“Lo, that movie was about two girls.”

“Whatever, you know what I mean. Just keep the crazy in check. It’s not cute.”

I hang up on her, shaking my head at my crazy best friend. She is the only one I would let say half of the shit she does to me. No matter what names we call each other, or the insults we throw back and forth, I know she will always be there. Most friends when you’re hurt will just pat you on the back, but not Lo. She will hunt down whoever did it, physically maim them, then dance all over their body in her six-inch heels.

I turn toward Damon and try to think of what the hell to say to him. “Listen, I get it if you don’t want me to meet your family. I guess I was just—”

“I never said I didn’t want you to meet them. You worked up that theory all on your own. If you really want to meet them we can figure it out sometime soon. My sister really isn’t home right now.” I study his face and I can’t be sure if he is telling the truth or not. Maybe he is and I am just so used to getting screwed that I assume the worst. I decide to drop the issue and trust him.

“Okay, well is there anything you wanted to do today?” He raises his eyebrows at me. “Oh no, buddy. My shit is still recovering, if you have any hopes of using it in the future she needs her rest.”

“She?”

“Yea, is my pussy supposed to be a dude? That would just be fucking weird.”

He laughs and walks over to me. His hand cups my cheek, and he softly kisses me. “Just so you know, I am not and will never be ashamed of you.” He walks over to the bed, sits down, and puts his sneakers on. I’m still standing there dumbfounded when he stands back up. His hand grabs mine, “Come on, I have one more thing I want to do before we leave.”

Chapter Fourteen

As we walk to the car with our hands joined, I try to accept that I have something good. This constant fear of having the rug pulled out from under me is really draining. Maybe Lo is right, I need to just relax the crazy and enjoy the time we spend together.

We drive for about ten minutes when Damon pulls the car into a lot. It is just one of those general parking lots so I still have no idea where we are going. We are walking down the street when he stops, I look up and start to laugh. “Mini golf?”

He smiles at me. “Yeah, you can think it’s dumb all you want. One, mini golf is fucking awesome. Two, I can’t wait to beat your ass.”

“You’re on, buddy. Just don’t cry when you lose.”

We walk up to the counter and grab our clubs and balls. Mr. Confident lets me go first, and when I sink the hole in one he is speechless. We play through the whole course and it is pretty neck in neck. Damon is a damn cheater though. Every single time it’s my turn his hand finds its way onto my body. It’s okay though, because every time he took his turn I bent down to watch him, knowing full well he could see down my shirt. When we tallied up the score I won by three strokes. I jump up and down screaming and pumping my fists in the air letting everyone know he got beat by a girl. I think my victory dance was the last straw for him. He picks me up, throws me over his shoulder and starts walking back through the course.

“Um, you know the exit is that way!” I yell pointing behind him. Damon doesn’t say a word, but when I look toward where he is walking I yell and starting kicking. “You better not do what I think you’re about to do, Damon Shaw!”

When he gets to the waterfall he turns around and begins backing up toward it. My head is headed straight for the stream of water, and I start flailing. It doesn’t do any good because in this position there isn’t anywhere for me to go. Damon leans back forcing me under the water as I scream bloody murder.

Once I am completely drenched, he pulls me away from it and put me down on the ground. “No one likes a sore winner.”

As much as I want to scream at him, the whole situation is hysterical. I start laughing so hard I lean into him for support. His hand tips my chin up before capturing my mouth. We stand there kissing and drinking each other in. I pull away from him and smile when I see that his shirt is soaking wet from me. Serves him right.

“You ready to get out of here?”

“Definitely.” I lean into him to whisper in his ear. “Especially because I’m drenched in places you can’t see, too.” He licks his lips as the desire in his eyes warms me. “Can I drive?”

He nods his head yes as he adjusts the jeans he has on. We get into the car and I smile at the plan that I’ve hatched. I grab his GPS programming an address into it. “I have a restaurant I want to try out, okay?”

“Yeah, sure.”

I know that he thinks I’m taking him somewhere to have sex just from the expression on his face. When I pull onto the highway he looks over at me with question in his eyes. I can tell he catches onto my plan when he grabs the GPS off the dashboard and looks at the address I programmed.

“What the hell? This is set to take you home!”

“Yep, I need a nice hot shower for one.”

“Come on, Jess! I’m fucking hard as a rock. This shit isn’t right!” The shock and anger on his face is hysterical.

“Aw stop, no one likes a sore loser.” He gives me the death glare before laughing.

“Okay, let’s talk and hopefully the beast will calm down.”

“The beast?” I smile at the fact that his dick has a nickname.

“Don’t even pretend like the name doesn’t fit.” My body breaks out in goosebumps, and I know he can see how he affects me. “Alright, you know a lot about me. Tell me about you. What’s your family like?”

My smile drops. “You met Lo. She’s my only family.”

“No, I mean your real family, biologically.”

“Just so you understand, that girl is my real family. She has been there with me through everything and has been the only decent person I’ve ever known.” I take a deep breath. “My biological parents were beyond shitty. They were junkies who cared more about their next fix then my next meal. Lo used to pack lunch for me in secret so I could take it home for dinner, then she would buy lunch and we would share it. If it wasn’t for her I don’t know what I would have done.”

I see him trying to process what I’ve just told him. “Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

“If I told someone they would have taken me out of the home and put me into foster care. Not only did I not want to be put into the system, but I would have lost Lo. I dealt with it. Thankfully, they never hit me or anything, but when I turned fifteen, Lo and I installed a deadbolt on my room. There were always people coming and going at all times of the night and most of them were creepy. I worked my ass off to get good grades and get scholarships. Unfortunately, I didn’t get enough, and when I got here I found out I couldn’t work enough to pay tuition and still do well in my classes. Someone on campus had told me about Tasha when they saw me walking out of the financial aid office in tears.”

I pause, trying to get a hold of my emotions. “I never in my life wanted to be doing what I am. I didn’t choose it, it was a necessity. I hate it every time I go to a job, but I get through it knowing that it’s a means to an end. I created the personality I have now as a security blanket. If I acted like I didn’t give a shit, maybe I wouldn’t. I couldn’t continue being the sweet girl I was, and work. So I made a choice to adapt a newer stronger personality. One that wouldn’t care what people thought of her, and wouldn’t spend hours crying every night she got home. When you tell me to drop the act you need to understand that I’ve been keeping it up for so long that it’s second nature. I need it to be able to live with myself.”

“You don’t need it with me, though. You can be yourself.” I can hear the sincerity in his voice.

“That’s just it. I don’t know how to not be that person.”

“You don’t keep up the act with Lo.”

I shake my head. “That’s because Lo would shove her foot up my ass if I ever tried to put on an act in front of her. She’s been there with me through everything. I don’t need that protection with her. She has seen me at my worst and my best and has never ever passed judgment.”

“I want to be that person for you, too.”

I glance over at him and see him staring at me. “This is the thing, it doesn’t just work like that. Don’t get me wrong, you have been slowly taking my walls down, but it’s not going to be immediate. I’ll give you a few tips, though. Do not put me down. Do not cheat on me. Finally, don’t ever lie to me.”

When I look over at him he seems to be lost in his own thoughts. “I’ll do my best.”

During the drive home we talk and argue over the radio. It all feels so normal and comfortable. I let myself relax and just enjoy being with him knowing that he wants me for who I am. I know that we need to talk about the elephant in the room though. “What are we going to do when the weekend rolls around?”

When I look over at him his eyes are cold and distant. “Is there anything I can do to get you to leave that place?”

I shake my head in frustration. “We already talked about this before. If you can’t accept it then there is no point in all this. I am not going to let you support me like some damn mooch. If this is going to work you are going to need to be able to separate what I do there and what we do together. Can you do that?”

He is quiet for the longest time and with each passing second I become more certain that this won’t work out. “I can try. I’m not perfect, Jessie, and seeing you leave for a job will kill me. I’m not willing to walk away from you, though.”

He grabs my hand calming my nerves almost instantly. I pull into the parking lot of my apartment building. Damon looks over at me, confused. “I have class early in the morning.” I give him a quick kiss on the lips before grabbing my bag out of the backseat and walking into the building. His face is a mixture of shock and disappointment mixed with a little anger.

I walk into the apartment and see Lo on the couch. She has a tub of sour cream in her hand and is spreading it over her face. “What the fuck are you doing?”

She looks up at me and smiles. “Giving myself a facial.”

I shake my head. “Do you realize you’re holding a damn tub of sour cream, or have you finally gone off the deep end.”

“Listen, Slutty McSlut, I read about this online. You can mock me all you want, but when I look like a movie star and your shit looks like a prepubescent boy then, you’ll see.”

I shake my head and walk into my room. I jump into the shower needing to get the smell of that nasty water off of me. I think about the time I spent with Damon and all of the things that happened. I don’t even hear the door open, and when I hear someone step into the shower I open my eyes. “Lo, what the hell!”

“Sorry, bitch, I gotta wash this shit off and you’ve been contemplating the secrets of the universe for ten minutes already.”

Sometimes I honestly just want to kill her. I get out of the shower and go into my room to get changed hoping I can at least do that in peace. Lo and I always joke that if we didn’t have each other we would be alone. She is just as scarred as me for her own reasons. Now that I have an option to have someone, it scares the shit out of me. My door opens and Lo walks in and plops down on my bed.

“Spill.” I look at her and cock my head to the side. “I have been able to see the wheels turning in that screwed up head of yours since you walked in the door. What’s up, ho bag?”