The Bells of Bow (61 page)

‘I ain’t having a go at yer, Eve, I’m trying to understand.’ Babs looked down at her hands. ‘Maybe if Betty hadn’t been Albie’s?’

A great, gulping, shuddering sob racked Evie’s body. ‘I’ve wondered that. Maybe if she hadn’t have been anything to do with him, then I could have felt different about her. Closer.’ She licked away the tears that were trickling into her mouth. ‘I meant it when I said I love her, yer know, Babs. I really do, but not like, not like a mum should.’ The tears ran faster down her cheeks. ‘Babs.’

‘Yeah?’ She dabbed at Evie’s face with her hankie.

‘D’yer think I’ve taken after Mum and that I’m just no good?’

Babs wrapped her arms round her twin and held her close. ‘Course I don’t, daft. How could I ever think that?’

Evie shuddered again and then said quietly, ‘Once, while I was carrying her, I can’t remember how many months I was, anyway, he hit me in the stomach. I felt sure that I was gonna lose her. I had these terrible pains. And I was so scared, Babs, ’cos I didn’t wanna lose her. I loved her, even before she was born.’ She threw back her head. ‘But not in the way I was supposed to. What’s wrong with me, Babs? Why can’t I love her like I should?’

‘Ssshhh, don’t upset yerself, we all have to love in our own way, Evie. We can’t all be the same.’

‘Ray loves me, Babs.’

‘I know. I know.’ Babs rocked her gently, trying to still her tears. ‘Maybe I should meet him, eh,’ she said. ‘I mean, he must be really special if he loves a scatty cow like you, Evie Bell.’

Evie leant back. She was trying to smile through her tears. ‘D’yer mean it? Yer’d really like to meet him?’

‘Yeah, course I would.’

Evie hugged her tight. ‘Aw, Babs, I can’t tell yer what it’d mean to me.’

‘But I ain’t making no promises about nothing else.’

They both knew that she meant about caring for Betty but neither of them said it; they knew it would only reopen the wound that they had just that moment healed. Any decisions about Betty’s future would have to wait.

Evie blew her nose loudly and stood up. ‘Come on, let’s go down and have a drink to celebrate. It is meant to be Christmas after all.’

Babs nodded. ‘You go and pour ’em out and I’ll follow yer down in a minute.’

She sat on the end of the bed and listened to Evie calling excitedly to Maud and Georgie to go in the front room and have a drink with her.

Babs looked at herself in the dressing table mirror and sighed. ‘You might as well have a life, Eve,’ she said to her reflection as she got up to join them. ‘Why should both of us be unhappy?’

George led Maudie and Betty into the front room.

‘Yer’ve cheered up,’ he said, sitting in one of the armchairs and lifting Betty onto his knee.

Evie’s hand was shaking as she took out the bottle of champagne from the sideboard. She handed it to Georgie. ‘Ray gave me this for us to have today but I didn’t feel much like drinking it. But I do now. Babs said she wants to meet him.’

‘Good idea,’ Georgie said, putting Betty down and glancing over to Maud, who gave him an encouraging nod. ‘I was thinking, perhaps you should bring this Ray feller to see us. So we can all meet him. Proper like.’ He stood up and looked quizzically at the champagne bottle, not at all sure how to tackle opening it.

Maud took it from him. ‘Let me.’ She smiled at Evie. ‘
I’ve
done this before.’

Georgie frowned. ‘Have yer?’

Maudie didn’t answer him, she bent down to get the glasses from the sideboard.

Evie walked over to her dad. She had to bite her lip to stop herself from crying again. ‘I love you, Dad. D’yer know that?’

‘I know.’

‘I ain’t always been the best of daughters, but I usually mean well.’

‘There’s an admission,’ said Babs as she walked in. ‘You
usually
mean well.’

‘We can’t all be flipping angels,’ Evie laughed as she turned to face her. ‘Now, how about if I write to Ray and say that me and you wanna go down to Essex to see him, on one of his evening passes? And when we’re down there we can make arrangements for him to come up on his next long pass to see Dad and Maud. Furlough, they call it.’

‘That’s nice,’ said Maud, obviously delighted to be included as part of the family. ‘I’d enjoy meeting him.’

‘But warn him not to expect too much of a welcome,’ said Georgie, watching Maud as she lifted the wire cage off the top of the champagne bottle. ‘He’ll have to take us as he finds us. We ain’t used to stuff like this every day in Darnfield Street.’

Maud pulled the cork from the bottle with a loud pop and poured the foaming wine into the glasses.

Evie was grinning from ear to ear. ‘Don’t worry, Dad, he loves warm brown ale. He thinks it’s really English and neat.’

‘Happy Christmas,’ said Maud, raising her glass.

‘Christmas!’ shouted Betty happily and threw herself at Babs who picked her up in her arms, kissed her, then put her down again.

George sat in his armchair and Betty scrambled onto his lap. ‘Come on, girls,’ he said, jiggling Betty up and down on his knee. ‘Why don’t you two give us a little song.’

Babs shook her head. She wanted to be happy for Evie, but she couldn’t get her own unhappiness out of her mind. She’d lost Harry, that was all there was to it. She knew that she wouldn’t be able to sing without bursting into tears. ‘I’ve got a bit of a sore throat, Dad,’ she said quietly.

Georgie frowned. ‘You are looking a bit pale. Here, I hope you ain’t got that ’flu what’s going round.’

‘No, it’s nothing. Just a bit off colour.’

‘Well, I’ll have to do a solo then, won’t I?’ Evie said.

Georgie laughed. ‘Yer might be a twin, but yer’ve been like a solo act most of yer life, you.’

Evie put her glass on the sideboard, curtseyed and then began singing, ‘
I’m dreaming of a white Christmas …
’

That was as far as she had got when Babs stood up, mumbled her excuses about feeling unwell and ran upstairs to the bedroom.

It was the first week of January 1945 and Evie and Babs were getting ready for the journey down to Essex to meet Ray. Georgie was fussing about Babs’s health, fretting about them travelling in the snow and ice and worrying himself sick about them being out at all when the V-2 rockets were coming more frequently than ever.

‘Look, Dad,’ Evie said, sticking her pin through the crown of her hat, ‘there might be ’flu, bombs, six years of war, even earthquakes coming for all we know, but I promise yer, I couldn’t be happier than I am today. Please don’t spoil it with all yer nagging.’

‘I ain’t nagging,’ he said solemnly. ‘I’m just concerned, that’s all. I’m allowed, I’m yer dad.’

Evie kissed him on the cheek.

‘Yer both look a picture,’ he said. ‘I’m proud of the pair of yer.’

Babs kissed him on the other cheek and then opened the street door.

Georgie and Betty stood on the step waving goodbye until the cold drove them back indoors.

As the sisters reached the end of the Darnfield Street, Babs stopped dead. ‘That’s Harry,’ she said, pointing to a figure walking briskly along Grove Road towards them.

‘Come on. I ain’t hanging around,’ Evie insisted, grabbing her arm. ‘We ain’t got time for this, Babs. D’you wanna come with me to meet Ray or not?’

Babs pulled away. ‘I’ve gotta talk to him, Eve. I can’t just walk past him.’

Evie tutted impatiently. ‘I’ll wait at the corner of Burdett Road for ten minutes, then I’m off or I’ll miss me connections from Mile End,’ she said and strode off as quickly as she was able in high heels in the snow.

Harry ignored Evie as she passed him by; his eyes were fixed on Babs. He stopped in front of her. ‘Hello, Babs.’

Babs smiled shyly. ‘The leg looks like it’s mending. How’s it coming along?’

‘It’s a lot better, ta. I should be fit enough for work again soon, I reckon. Probably not good enough to go abroad again for a while, but I’m getting there.’

‘That’s good, Harry, I’m really pleased for yer,’ she said.

They stood there in the snow, not noticing the cold, just looking at one another.

‘So, what did you do over Christmas?’ she asked eventually.

‘Not much. No one to do much with. I stayed in the hostel place they fixed me up with and saw a few mates who were at home, but they wanted to be with their own families most of the time.’ He shrugged. ‘Obvious, ain’t it, that people wanna be with them what they love this time of year. Not strangers.’

‘Yeah.’ Babs nodded again. ‘So what yer doing round this way then?’

Harry shuffled his foot from side to side, making a little mound of snow. ‘I was coming to see you, as a matter of fact, Babs.’

‘Me?’

‘Yeah. Makes yer think all sorts of things, Christmas time does.’ He looked over Babs’s shoulder, off into the distance. ‘And all I could think about was you.’

‘Me?’

He nodded. ‘I wondered if yer’d consider coming out with me tonight. See if we can start again.’

‘I don’t know what to say, Harry. I was meant to be going with Evie …’

Harry nodded again, his lips tight. ‘Fair enough. Maybe I should have been less pig-headed and asked you earlier. Should have swallowed me stupid pride.’ He pulled his collar up round his neck. ‘See yer around sometime then, eh?’ And he started to walk away.

‘No, Harry,’ she called after him. ‘Hang on a minute. I’m gonna do what I wanna do for once, not what Evie wants.’

He turned round.

‘Please. Wait there.’

Harry nodded.

‘Yer promise?’

‘Yeah. I won’t move.’

Babs ran along Grove Road, slipping and sliding on the snowy pavement, the icy air freezing her lungs. When she got to the corner of Burdett Road, she was gasping for breath.

‘Eve,’ she panted. ‘I’ve made a decision. I’m making a life for meself just like you are.’

‘Eh?’

She put her hand to her chest and took a deep breath. ‘I ain’t sure how it’s all gonna work out yet, but I know that I want Betty and I’ll take care of her like she was me own. But you, Eve, yer gonna have to start growing up a bit and realise that other people ain’t always gonna be there to run after yer. Yer gonna have to start looking after yerself.’

‘What?’

‘I want happiness as well, Eve.’

‘You ain’t coming to Essex with me, are yer?’ She wrinkled her nose and giggled. ‘Yer staying here with Harry.’

Babs grinned. ‘Yeah, I am.’

Evie shook her head. ‘Go on. Yer can meet Ray when he comes up to meet Dad and Maud.’ She threw her arms round Babs and squeezed her tight. ‘No matter what, Babs,’ she whispered in her ear, ‘no matter what’s happened between us, we’ve always been best friends as well as sisters, haven’t we?’

‘Course we have. Now stop it, or yer’ll make me cry.’

‘Go on,’ Evie called with a wave as she walked briskly away towards the station. ‘Grab yer happiness while yer can.’

Babs waved back to her sister. ‘Give him my love,’ she shouted after her.

‘Give who yer love?’ she heard Harry call from behind her.

She turned round and saw that he was running towards her.

‘The bloke that I think’s gonna be me new brother-in-law,’ she said with a smile as he came to a skidding halt beside her.

‘So long as it ain’t yer boy friend.’

‘I ain’t got a boy friend at the minute,’ she said demurely.

‘Good,’ he gasped, his breath forming into little clouds in the freezing air. ‘I had to run after yer. I was scared yer wouldn’t come back. And I couldn’t let yer go, Babs.’

Babs looked up into his eyes. ‘Couldn’t yer?’ she whispered.

He slowly shook his head. ‘Not the way I feel about you, no,’ he said. He took her in his arms and kissed her, a long, breathless kiss that left her in no doubt as to exactly how he felt. ‘And I ain’t never letting yer go again.’

Babs rested her head on his chest. ‘I’m glad, Harry,’ she said. ‘Real glad.’

‘But I dunno what I would have done,’ he laughed, ‘if yer really had been married with a baby.’

Babs took his hand. ‘Let’s go and get a drink somewhere, eh? I think we’ve got some talking to do.’

It was over a month before Ray finally came to London to meet Georgie and Maud.

He stood in the front room, his hands behind his back like a schoolboy waiting to be given a dressing down by the headmaster.

Georgie, who had been sitting at the table with Maud, stood up and held out his hand. ‘So, we get to meet yer at last.’ He smiled as he spoke, but it was a wary, hesitant smile, with little warmth in it.

Ray shook his hand. ‘Mr Bell,’ he said.

‘George, or Ringer,’ he replied firmly. ‘It’s all the same to me.’

Ray smiled.

Georgie sat down again and pointed at a chair for Ray to do the same. ‘So. Ray. What d’yer do then? What’re yer prospects as a provider for my Evie?’

‘Dad!’ Evie rolled her eyes.

Maudie stood up and signalled to Babs with a brief nod. ‘Shall we go out to the kitchen to make some tea?’

Babs jumped up. ‘Good idea.’

But Georgie motioned for Maud and Babs to sit down again. ‘Got no secrets that these two can’t hear, have yer, lad?’

‘I don’t believe this.’ Evie was fuming. ‘He’s doing it on purpose.’

‘No, Evie,’ Ray said, keeping his gaze fixed on Georgie. ‘It’s OK. Your father has a right to know all about me.’

Evie slumped, defeated, into one of the armchairs.

‘Yer a millionaire, I suppose,’ Georgie said cynically. ‘Like all the other Yanks you hear about.’

‘No, sir. Not me. I’m just a regular guy. But I’m a hard worker. And I’ve got plans to get on in my field.’

‘Aw, so yer a farmer, are yer?’

‘No, sir. I didn’t mean that sort of field, I meant—’

Evie almost leapt out of her armchair. She threw her hands up in despair. ‘He is, he’s doing it deliberately. He’s torturing me.’

Babs went over to her sister and shoved her hard in the ribs. ‘Sit down,’ she hissed at her.

‘It was a joke,’ Georgie said flatly. ‘I was trying to be friendly.’

Ray immediately smiled; his even white teeth gleamed. ‘I’m a trained electrical engineer. And after the war I hope to make my career in Philadelphia, working on a new type of machine they’ve been developing there.’

‘What sort of a machine’s that then?’