The Billionaire's Mistress Complete Series: Alpha Billionaire Romance (21 page)

T
ao held
out a glass of wine, ignoring me when I tried to push it away. I reluctantly took it, knowing that he wouldn't stop until he got what he wanted. Despite his usually easy-going nature, Tao could be quite stubborn when he wanted to be.

“Just one,” he said, sitting down next to me with his own glass. “I think after tonight, we both deserve it.”

“Why didn’t I think about them being there?” Slowly, I sipped at the wine I didn’t really want. “Seriously, what was I thinking?”

Tao pressed a kiss to my temple. “You were thinking, honey, just not with your brain.”

Miffed, I shot him a dirty look. “Hey, I’m not the one here who has a penis. I don’t think with that part of my anatomy.”

“Allie.” He shook his head as he pulled me into his lap, somehow managing to do it without spilling my wine or his.

He was laughing at me, but it was a nice kind of laughter. I leaned against him as he took another sip of his wine.

He set down his glass and cupped my cheek, his expression soft. “I wasn't talking about sex. I was talking about your heart. I always knew that when you fell, you would do it hard, and you’re falling for this guy.”

I shook my head, protesting. “No. He’s hot but…”

Tao gave me a look that said he wasn't buying it. Setting my jaw, I looked away from him. What did he
know?

Except...he knew me. Tao knew me better than anyone else in my life. Better than my family even. No matter how close my mother and I were, Tao was closer.

Groaning, I dropped my head onto his shoulder and sighed. “My life would be easier if you and I could just fall in love. You’d be happy. I’d be happy. My parents would be happy.”

“Love is a fickle bitch,” he said as he smoothed a hand down my back. “She isn’t worried about people being happy.” He sighed. “Maybe it'll all work out, Allie.”

I snorted, a decidedly unladylike sound. “Yeah. Maybe. And I’ll wake up tomorrow tall and thin and rich.”

“While we’re wishing,” Tao said, “we’ll both be madly in love, pleasing both our parents. We’ll get married and sail off into the sunset going
fa-la-la-la
.” Tao rested his chin on my shoulder.

I laughed. “Sure. Fa-la-la-la-la.”

* * *

“
A
ny fa-la
-la-la-la yet?”

My cheek rested on Tao's sweaty chest, my breasts pressed against his side. One of his arms was wrapped around me, his fingers tracing patterns on my skin. His other arm was behind his head as he stared up at the ceiling. My entire body felt like I'd just run a marathon, and I was pretty sure his fingers were imprinted on my ass.

I chuckled, the sound coming in short bursts as I worked for my breath. “Nope. Sorry. A lot of
yes, right there
and
fuck me
, but no fa-la-la-la.”

“Damn. I was sure those
fas
were in there somewhere.”

I laughed and curled closer to his side. The position was comfortable, familiar. All of this was comfortable and familiar. The way he fit inside me, how he knew exactly the right amount of pressure to put on my clit, the perfect way to bite my nipples. He knew exactly how to get me off in every position, and loved to draw it out so that we used more than one. He had stamina, and thoroughly enjoyed every part of sex. Foreplay, oral, all of it. When it came to fucking, Tao participated enthusiastically.

I just wished there was some of that
fa-la-la-la-la
he’d been teasing me about. Some feeling beyond platonic love and basic physical attraction. If I could just fall for him, if he could fall for me...sex with him was great. Being with him was great. But when we weren’t together…

Just like that, the lightheartedness of the afterglow passed, and a cold knot of misery settled inside.

I was starting to think Tao was right in the worst way. That I wasn't simply lusting after Jal, but that I'd actually fallen in love with him.

It was one of my worst fears, not just falling for somebody who was so totally wrong, but falling for somebody who was completely out of my reach. I'd always told myself that I wouldn't repeat my mother's mistakes, but the events of the past couple weeks had blown that vow all to hell.

The hand I had laying on Tao’s chest closed into a fist, and he covered it. “What’s wrong?”

“I…” The moment I opened my mouth, for reasons I couldn’t even explain, I started to cry.

Without needing an explanation, Tao pulled me into his arms, rolling us onto our sides so he could stroke a hand up and down my back. He kissed the top of my head.

“I’ll tell you what, Allie. I don’t think I’ve ever sexed you right into tears before.”

The comment did what I knew he wanted. I smacked his chest.

“Jerk,” I managed to get out between sobs.

“Just trying to help.” He ran his fingers through my hair as his tone shifted. “It’s okay, Allie. It’s all going to work out.”

“How?” I couldn’t think of anything that would make any of this better.

No matter how much I wanted to deny it, the sinking feeling in my gut said that I'd fallen for the wrong man. And I had an equally bad feeling that after I'd left, he'd gone to Diamond for answers. I didn't even want to think about what she would've told him.

Diamond had never liked me, and she’d hated my mother. Granted, I couldn’t really blame her. My mother had carried on a long term affair with a married man, and I was the result of that. Diamond, however, hadn't been satisfied with hating from afar, or even confronting her husband. She'd never been physically abusive – that sort of thing was beneath her – but biting insults and other forms of verbal abuse had been constant whenever my father wasn't around.

No child should learn the meaning of the term
bastard
because they were one.

And I knew Diamond had shared all of that with Jal. Told him everything from her twisted point of view. As much as I felt for her as the woman who'd been cheated on, the way she'd treated me made any real sympathy nearly impossible. The thought of Diamond pouring out all of that venom and hate to Jal made me cry even harder. If he didn't hate me already, he would after Diamond was done.

Even as Tao's arms tightened around me, and I knew that Jal and I could never be together, I couldn't help but wish that he was the one comforting me, telling me that it would be all right.

T
he morning was cold
, wet, and gray. Pretty much the usual for March in Philadelphia.

Any other Sunday, I probably would have just rolled over and slept another few hours, then done all I could to avoid going outside. There was nothing good out there, I was sure of that.

Now, however, I knew there were necessary things out there. Like answers.

I'd spent most of my life balancing the life I wanted with the life I was expected to have, hiding the truth of who I was behind the public image I was supposed to maintain. Because I did it so well, my mother rarely interfered in the things I did behind closed doors.

But now, all of that was blown to hell. I was trapped by expectations I didn't want, and I knew that whatever I did next would shape the rest of my life.

A soft sigh came from the woman next to me, a reminder of just how very true all of that was. I was in bed with Paisley after a night of dreaming about another woman, and I couldn't deny that the idea of spending my life like this left a bad taste in my mouth.

That was the impetus I needed to sit up and kick my legs over the bed.

Paisley didn’t stir. No surprise there. She'd always slept like the dead. Even me getting up out of bed and walking around, gathering up the few clothes I’d discarded didn’t stir her.

I showered in the guest bathroom, although it wasn’t much bigger than a closet. Some people might've thought the disproportionate sizes of the rooms was strange, but I knew how Paisley thought. She wouldn't waste space on anything she wouldn’t personally use. Her bathroom boasted a tub big enough for several people, and an even bigger shower, but any guests she might have wouldn't need much more than the basic necessities. Right now, that was all I needed too. I had to wash away the scent of her perfume, of her.

Since they were for spontaneous situations, the clothes I’d packed in my overnight case consisted of jeans, a t-shirt, and a pullover. It took little time to dress, and by the time I was ready to head out the door, I had a message from my driver that my car was already out front.

I didn’t plan on being driven around today, so when I got to the curb, there were actually two cars waiting. The Bentley and my Bugatti. I didn’t drive the Bugatti much. It was a hand-built, custom-made piece of machinery that was badass enough to make even the biggest automotive aficionado weep with envy. To be honest, I didn’t drive any of my cars much. It was easier just to let somebody else drive me so I could concentrate on other matters, business mostly. But the last thing I wanted to do today was give my mind time to think.

What I needed was to feel the power of a good, solid piece of automotive art, the wheel in my hands, the way it hugged the curves. Basically, I needed to let the miles tear away, and hope it burned out some of the stress chewing at my gut.

As the Bentley pulled away from the curb, I climbed into the Bugatti, not lingering to look back up at Paisley’s townhouse. I’d be back, sooner than I liked, most likely, but I hoped I'd have some answers by then.

The drive to the sprawling, somewhat ostentatious estate where Paisley’s parents lived was almost thirty minutes outside of the main city. That gave me time to focus my brain and figure out exactly how to do this. I didn't want to walk up to Kendrick Hedges and flat-out accuse him of being a selfish prick.

I had a feeling he deserved it, but it wouldn't do me any good. I owed it to myself, to Paisley – to Allie – to find out the truth. Whatever decision I ended up making needed to be based on the facts of what really happened, who Allie really was, not rumors and biased statements.

Although it was still fairly early when I arrived, I was told that Mr. Hedges was in the library and had just finished breakfast, but I was welcome to have some myself.

I declined the breakfast invite but did request some coffee as the butler led me back to Kendrick’s library. There wasn’t really any point to calling the room a library, in my opinion. There was one wall that boasted a couple of floor to ceiling bookshelves that were filled with first editions and classics, but I’d be willing to lay money down that none of them had ever been read. They’d been bought solely for their value or their visual appeal, no other reason.

I didn’t spend much of my own time reading, but if I were going to spend money on books, it would be so I could read them, not so I could look pretentious.

I pushed all of those thoughts aside as I stepped into the library. I wasn't here to critique Kendrick's decorating or spending habits.

Kendrick rose and came forward, holding out his hand. “Jal, good to see you, son.”

“Kendrick.”

I shook his hand while the butler moved to the sideboard and poured me a cup of coffee. He brought it to me and then gave us both a polite nod before retreating. I took a sip, felt the jolt of caffeine hitting my system. I needed about ten cups of this before I’d feel somewhat normal. Then again, normal might not be in the cards ever again. Not what I'd always considered normal, anyway.

“How was the gala last night?” He gestured for me to join him in front of the fireplace. “Are you hungry?”

“No. I’m good with just the coffee, thanks.” I sat across from him in a comfortable armchair. At least now I didn't have to figure out a way to ease into the subject. “I take it Diamond hasn’t talked to you about the party.”

He blinked, confusion showing on his face. “No, she hasn't. Diamond got in rather late and I was already in bed. I’m afraid I’m not up for socializing as I used to be. More often than not, Diamond goes to events with Paisley or one of her friends from the country club.” He gave me an expectant look. “Did something happen?”

“Well…” I blew out a breath and looked down into my cup. Part of me had hoped that he'd at least be aware of some of the events so I didn't have to explain them, but now I was thinking that it might be better that he wasn't prepared. It was harder than most people realized to come up with a lie on the spot. He might be more likely to give me honest answers this way.

“Your daughter was at the gala last night.”

Kendrick chuckled. “Of course she was. She went with her mother. I know the two of you are a bit on the odds right now, but…” His voice trailed off as he realized that I wasn't talking about Paisley. “Was Mallory there with her girlfriend? Diamond can be…harsh at times. She just wants what's best for the girls, and that doesn't always match what the girls want.”

I cut in before he could continue along the same vein. “I’m not talking about Paisley or Mallory.”

For a moment, his eyes went blank before understanding dawned. He tried to hide it, pasting a look of confusion on his face, but I’d seen the slip. That was the first confirmation I needed. He knew he had three daughters, not two. That much of the two stories I'd heard was true.

“I’m talking about Allie, sir.”

Kendrick got up and moved over to the windows that dominated the far western wall. Tension radiated off of him, and I knew he wasn't admiring the view of his grounds. He'd just needed to move, to give himself some space to think. I remained silent, letting him take in what I’d told him.

Several minutes passed before he finally broke the quiet. “I take it Diamond saw her.”

“Yes. Paisley saw her too.”

To my surprise, Kendrick shrugged. “Oh, that’s no concern. Paisley doesn’t know anything about Allie.”

That was interesting. I leaned forward. “On the contrary, sir. She does.”

He turned, his frown cutting deep grooves into his features. “Pardon me?”

Rubbing my hands down my face, I stood up and met his eyes. “She said she suspected for a while, but when Diamond confronted me, Paisley was there. She heard it all.”

A heavy breath escaped him, and he came back to his seat. Sitting down, he met my eyes. “I think it’s best you tell me exactly what happened last night.”

So I did. Occasionally, he would mutter under his breath or swear outright, but he didn't interrupt with questions or explanations.

When I finished, I reached for my coffee – lukewarm by now – and took a healthy swallow. Figuring he needed a moment to process, I got more coffee and then turned back to face him. He was staring at nothing.

“Kendrick.”

At the sound of my voice, he started.

“I’d like to know the truth,” I said softly.

A deep frown creased his cheeks. He was a fit man and didn’t look his age until he frowned. I hadn't noticed it until now. “The truth, Jal?”

“According to your wife, Allie’s mother, and Allie herself, have little concern for anything but themselves and money. Now, I’ve only known Allie a short time, but that doesn’t sound like the woman I've talked to.”

“That’s because it’s not.” Sounding tired, Kendrick leaned back. “Sit down. Let me tell you things as they really happened. Diamond…well, I didn’t do right by her. I won't pretend otherwise. But there was no reason for her to take it out on Allie.”

I had a feeling I was going to end up really pissed off by the time his story was done, but I sat anyway, determined to keep my temper. This was what I'd come for. Real answers.

“Contrary to what I'm sure Diamond said, Malla didn’t seduce me.” His jaw went tight, and he was silent for a moment before continuing, “I loved her. When she left me…”

He had one hand resting on the table, and as he spoke, he clenched it into a fist so tight, it was almost bloodless. The pain in his eyes was still raw.

“It wasn't some one-night stand or drunken fling. We were together for
years
. I loved her. I gave her…everything.” His expression hardened. “And she left me for somebody who would never be able to appreciate her.”

I couldn't keep my mouth shut. “It sounds like she left you for a guy who would actually marry her.”

A wash of red flooded Kendrick’s face. “What do you know about it?” he demanded.

My own temper rose, but I kept my voice even. “I know that your wife hated having your mistress living here, and that made her treat your daughter like shit.” Guilt started to twist inside me as I remembered all of the horrible things I'd said to Allie, the accusations I'd made.

“You don’t understand–”

I interrupted, “I know that Allie’s a wonderful person, and Diamond treated her like she was garbage. And I'm willing to bet that you never did a thing to stop it, did you?”

Kendrick looked away. It was answer enough.

And I’d let Diamond manipulate me into doing the same thing.

I was an idiot.

I glared at Kendrick. “She was just a kid.”

“I love Allie,” he protested. “I treated her the best I could under the circumstances. I still write to her. I send her money.” He looked even more tired than he had earlier. “She’s a strong, stubborn, independent young woman.”

“I’ve noticed.” My head was spinning with what he'd said and what I'd done. “I’ll leave you to the rest of your day, Kendrick.”

I was halfway to the door when he called my name. I turned back to him without a word.

“I never did ask…just how did you meet Allie?”

I wasn't going to give him the truth. He didn't deserve it. “Happenstance. We got to be friends. After learning about her family being deaf, I thought she’d be interested in the gala last night.” I rubbed at my jaw and looked away. “If I’d known she was your daughter...”

“So you’re simply friends.”

I stared him down, refusing to confirm or deny. It wasn't any of his fucking business. Not when he hadn't protected Allie. He didn't deserve to be a part of her life.

“You’re committed to Paisley,” he murmured.

“Like you were committed to Diamond?” I shot back.

His jaw clenched as my question hit the mark. I turned and left before either of us could say anything else.

I wasn’t going to be like him. I would make a choice and live by it. I wasn't sure what the choice would be, or how I was going to make things right with everyone involved, but I was determined that I wouldn't put Allie in the same position that Kendrick had put her mother. And I wouldn't do to Paisley what her father had done to Diamond.

Both women deserved better than that.

Hell, they both deserved better than me.