The Boy from Aleppo Who Painted the War (11 page)

After 70 times of me repeating a prayer for God to help us, the shooting stops and the angry men's voices disappear. Yasmine lets go of my head and I jump up and breathe. I have soil up my nose and in my mouth. If it wasn't for the prayer I would have felt claustrophobic. We came for a funeral and ended up in bloodshed in the cemetery. Faces I recognise from the march up here are now on the ground with blood all around them. One of Isa's friends that held up his body has his mouth wide open and blood is still flowing out of it. It's bright red and fresh. I look away quickly before I imagine things and have nightmares. Yasmine tiptoes around the cemetery and I follow her steps.

‘Khalid you're bleeding!' Tariq shouts from behind us and comes running down. Khalid and his yellow shirt now looks brown from the side where his kidney is. I think that's where his kidney is. He looks down and touches it and I can see blood on his fingers. I don't know if it hurts him because he is walking normally and isn't screaming. I'm never going to cry again from a scratch or if I hit my toe on the coffee table.

‘I'm fine, I'll put coffee on it when we get home.'

Why would he put coffee on it? I don't think he heard clearly that he's bleeding.

‘Khalid you're bleeding because you got shot, so you need to go to the hospital!'

‘Don't worry Adam, coffee works, I'm not grieving over a bullet when Isa took eight.'

I don't know what to say so I walk on and think of Isa's face. I put him beside mama in my mind. I have folders in my mind and now mama and Isa are in the closed ones. I lock them so that I don't think of them a lot and feel black spread over my heart. I'll unlock them only when I think of good things.

The call to prayer goes on as I put Isa in his new folder. It's the only thing that doesn't change so I smile when I hear it.

Yasmine pinches me on my shoulder.

‘Why Yasmine?'

‘You're not meant to smile after a funeral.'

‘But the Adhan came on Yasmine, that means the sheikh is still alive and it didn't change'. I skip away so she doesn't have to say anything about me smiling. I like smiling. Mama once told me that a smile is charity and God said that charity puts out the fire of his anger. I don't know how God gets angry because mama said he's different from everything and anybody and that I shouldn't think much about it but I know that he's angry now because there's a war. I hope I didn't do anything to make him angry.

I used to like it when Baba took me with him to the mosque and I watched all the men pray and everybody used to go up and down at exactly the same time like it was rehearsed. I try to pray sometimes but Baba said I don't have to because I'm still young. When I pray I lose track quickly so I think that's why. I start reading a surah from the Quran and then I stop and think of washing my face because it feels itchy. I like just following everyone when they pray instead of praying alone.

‘I want to pray in the mosque,' Baba says. His voice is really quiet now. After he shouted at Yasmine and he thought she was mama, he has been using his support stick more often and his voice is lower.

‘Are you sure you can stand Baba?' Khalid asks.

‘I'm still young, young man, I can stand more than you!'

Khalid laughs and tells Yasmine they are going to pray.

‘Okay, I'll go and get candles for the house, meet you at home. Adam you go with the boys.'

‘I want to go with you Yasmine…'

‘I'm just going to get candles, go pray.'

‘Please Yasmine, I'm scared.'

Yasmine's eyeballs go around in a circle. I don't know how she does that, I tried many times.

‘Okay, I don't want to hear a word on the way then.'

Yasmine is being mean to me but I don't want to leave her so I walk behind her and count the houses that have balconies on them.

‘Wait outside the shop, I won't be long.'

‘Why can't I come in Yasmine?'

‘I told you I don't want to hear any questions.'

‘Can I buy some food?'

‘What would you like?'

‘Can you buy me a packet of crisps?'

‘It won't fill you up Adam.'

‘But they're yummy and you used to always put them in my lunch box.'

‘Okay just wait here.'

Yasmine goes in and I turn around in circles and then stop and laugh at how everything looks funny upside down. It's so fun doing this. I keep turning around and stopping. I see three guys walking down the street carrying big guns on their shoulders. I see them upside down now because I feel dizzy. It looks like they're walking on their hands. I close my eyes really tightly so I stop feeling dizzy.

Yasmine comes out and I hide behind her quickly because the men are getting closer and their laughter sounds like a pig moaning. It's scary and I don't like how they look. They're all bald and big and they are stomping their feet like they want to kill all the ants on the ground.

‘Come here young boy!' they shout. Yasmine holds my hand behind her. I think they are talking to me. No one else is around. The shopkeeper comes out and they shout at him to go in and threaten to kill him. I'm so scared. My heart is beating so fast I might vomit it out.

‘Did you not hear me Ya Kalb? Come here!'

I don't like people swearing but they do and continue to laugh. I can feel Yasmine's colour change and she is slowly moving me back trying to get away. I just want to get out of this and go home.

One of the guys takes his long gun down from his shoulder and leans his hand on it.

Yasmine pulls a gun out and points it at the men. Her hands are shaking and the gun jumps up and down. She looks scared. Her whole arm is shaking but her face looks like she is ready to punch someone. She yells for them to back away and the men start laughing at her.

‘I'll shoot. I will.' Even her voice is shaking.

The man with the rifle makes fun of Yasmine before pushing the gun away and hitting her in the stomach with the back of the rifle. She crouches in pain.

‘I see we have a stubborn one here guys, eh?'

The other two laugh and come closer and stand one on either side of us.

‘Master, do you want us to take action?'

‘Bring the girl.'

The two big guys lift Yasmine up and she tries to fight her way out. I hold onto her skirt tighter and cry. She is shouting and screaming for help. One of the guys pushes me hard onto the ground and spits at me. I can smell his green breath on my face.

‘Yasmine, don't go!'

‘Adam go home!'

‘Yasmine where are they going to take you?'

‘We're taking her to her new home!'

The biggest guy turns around and laughs at me.

‘What can you do little boy?'

I don't know what to say, I keep running after them and trying to pull Yasmine down from their arms but she doesn't even move. They have strong arms. Yasmine is crying and screaming. I don't know what to do.

‘Yasmine, please don't go!'

‘Adam, go home, I'll come back.' She has brown tears coming down her face. It looks like she has patches of dirt and dry skin. She doesn't look like my Yasmine. Before I get to say anything else one of the guys picks his gun up and pushes the end of it into my forehead. I feel my head vibrate. I want to say something but my throat isn't letting me. I put my hands on my head to stop the spinning. I feel a wet liquid on my temple. I pull my hand down and see blood. I can see the word blood scattered around in my mind and it keeps on multiplying. It keeps getting darker and darker the more it multiplies. I don't think I can hold on any longer.

*

My head is pounding like I have a radio in my skull. It's silent music though because I can't hear anything. I open my eyes for a split second and close them again because it burnt the moment I opened them. There is a bright light shining right into my eyes. I can remember what happened last but I don't know where I am now. They took Yasmine away, why Yasmine? I start crying but I still don't open my eyes.

‘Open your eyes, you're safe.'

The voice doesn't sound familiar but I can feel a soothing smell coming out of his mouth so I open my eyes. I don't recognise the man looking down at me. I lift my head up and feel every muscle in my body react. I look around and notice I'm in a shop. I'm really hungry but I have no money. The shop looks half empty. The shelves are dusty from what I can see from here and there aren't as many things as there used to be. I spot the crisps that I told Yasmine to get me. I wonder where she is. I don't want to imagine anything bad happening to her so I hope she will come back. I want to go home. I want to be in my room. Yasmine said she'd come back so I know she will. She can't just go and not come back.

‘Do you know where you live?'

‘Yes.'

I get up and touch my head where it was bleeding. I feel a cotton cushion on it.

‘Go home young boy. God be with your family.'

I walk out and look both ways in case I see any men. I don't see anyone and I run home and count how many steps I'm taking. I can feel the blood on my forehead coming down my face but I run 52 steps until I get to the door and bang really hard.

Khalid opens the door really quickly.

‘Oh thank God! There you are, what happened to your head? Where's Yasmine?'

I start crying and trying to explain what happened but whenever I start I feel too scared.

‘A
DAM RUN, RUN
! Don't let them take you!' I try to shout but the words get stuck in my throat. I jump away from their grip but they hold me tighter. My arms are burning. ‘Curse you people…curse you…you killed my brother and ruined our lives…. CURSE YOU!' I have a war going on in my mind, feelings of fear, hatred and sorrow thrown into conflict with one another. What did we do for this to be our fate? Adam can you read my eyes? Adam look at me! Don't give up now, stay strong! I know I'm talking to myself as he falls to the ground but I still try to reach out for him. The man raises his rifle and slams it against my head too…my sight is suddenly a blur… Adam…

I finally come to, dazed from the rifle blow. I look around only to find myself in a dark building. There is no light or entrance, only an overwhelming stench of urine. They look disgusting so of course they live in a disgusting place. They open the apartment door and throw me inside against the wall. I hold my tears in and pretend I'm not hurt. My back is aching and begging me to scratch it but I close my eyes and pray to God to help me. ‘I need to get out of here… I don't want to be here… what do I do? Stay strong Yasmine, stay strong…' I tear up as I whisper these words to myself, hoping to find refuge in the hopes of escaping and being with my family again. The three men approach me and I learn that the master has no name but master. Those other two dogs must be slaves to a bastard. None of these men have dignity, they're just trash. I wonder how they've been brought up. They're disgusting. If only I can show them how much I despise them. The master kneels down and comes close to my face.

‘What's your name beautiful?' His eyes are the clearest green I have ever seen on his dark skin colour. How can such beauty be enveloped in evil? I want to spit on his face and show him what I am made of. I wish Wisam was here to help me, he would protect me from these bastards.

‘I see you like to play tough!' He yanks my scarf off with the force of a shameless man and starts to caress my hair. I shiver from disgust. If only he was a little closer. I struggle to kick him but find myself unable to do anything to resist. He laughs in my face and I can smell his rank breath. He must have had eggs for breakfast. I wish I could find eggs to buy for Adam. I hope he copes without me. God be with him please. I have to look after him till my dying breath, I promised mama.

‘You like me caressing your hair do you? Did you see that boys? She shivered from my touch. I think we have a gem here.'

The other two men laugh and come closer and blow me kisses.

‘Do we get a turn?'

‘When I'm done with her, make yourself useful and go get me my tea.'

One of them goes running to make him tea like a spineless coward and the other stands in place until he is given an order. I want to cry so badly, my tears are welling up but I'm closing my eyes really tight and thinking of Wisam to cheer me up and give me strength.

‘Open your eyes pretty girl, don't be scared.'

I keep my eyes shut.

‘I said open your eyes!'

He shouts and his saliva lands on my face. I wish I had the strength I need right now. I open my eyes and look down.

‘Go fetch a cold bucket of water!'

I am so scared God, I don't want to die. God please be with me. Please God protect me. A tear falls down my face as I plead with everything in me.

The two men come back and stand side by side waiting for more orders. The master gets up and sits on a chair and drinks his tea. I start to shiver in fear. Now that he has moved away from me all my feelings come tumbling down like a waterfall. I swear at myself in my head to stop the shivering and tears but I can't control anything. I have lost control. I am scared and feel bile rising in my throat. Control yourself Yasmine! They're nothing but animals!

I look up to see the men staring down at me, not saying a word. Now they know I'm scared. I gave them the best of me. If only all the poetry and stories I have read could help me now. My favourite line ‘Let us leave this place where the smoke blows black and the dark street winds and bends' fills my mind. I am filled with both guilt and fear at the mercy of three men. I want to leave this place where black smoke blows into my heart. God, I can only turn to you for help. God please, if you save me now, I will be a loyal worshipper of yours and never turn a deaf ear to your words.

The only thing I'm glad about is that they took me and not Adam. I hope Adam is okay. As I start to think of his face I start to feel sick. I can't control myself any more and I break down and show my kidnapper's my life's fears and guilts.