The Boy Who Knew Me When (From Boys to men Trilogy) (12 page)

Chapter Ten

Jemma

I awakened to Julian’s breath between my breasts, his face buried into my chest while he held onto my body for dear life. There was so much heat radiating between the two of us that it was causing sweat to pool in the crook of my neck but I was scared to move. All I could see was the top of his head but I knew that if I could see his face I would find peace written all over it because peaceful was exactly how I felt. But the need to move away became far too necessary when I found that each breath lit the fire between my legs more and more. I tried inching away but his grip got tighter, crushing my body beneath him.

“No!” he softly cried out.

I tried a different approach, wiggling my hips and legs to glide upward but I only made it a little bit of the way before his grip tightened to the point of pain. When I realized where his face was now buried I nearly had a heart attack. His breathing intensified with every move I made and the next thing I knew his lips were placing tiny kisses on the little pink bow of my lace panties. My eyes rolled back into my head and I gripped the blanket as tight as I could without hurting myself as his mouth moved softly over the delicate cotton coverings.

Did it count as heavy petting if one of us was asleep?

Julian’s hands reached up, grabbed hold and ripped the panties from my body causing the flames burn all the way into the pit of my stomach. I could feel my nipples harden under my bra and even though I knew I wasn’t supposed to be allowing it I could not stop Julian from parting my lips and rolling his tongue across my sensitive engorged heat. 

“Julian!” I screamed.

The moment his name rolled off of my lips he jumped up off the bed denying me more of what my body was begging for.

“Holy shit sweetheart!”

His hands went through his hair and I guessed that someone mentioned the pact that I made with Dr. Schneider, no doubt Brea. Given the state of my body at the moment I wasn’t sure whether I should be thanking her or ringing her pretty little neck. What I was sure of was that I had to finish what he had started, there was no way I could spend the rest of the day with a painful ache between my legs.

Without thinking I slowly moved my hands down between my legs and began to softly massage the tender space between my wet lips. I looked to Julian, who appeared mesmerized by the turn of events, pleading with him to take his pants off and willing him not to touch me. Nowhere in my agreement with Dr. Schneider was there anything that said masturbation was off limits and something about
watching
Julian let go right along with me fueled my desire.

“Stroke yourself Julian.” I begged. He sat down next to me in the bed and began to run his hands up and down his hard shaft.

I imagined his hands were the walls of my desire which caused my touch to become more desperate. I wanted to taste him, to know what his wetness tasted like on my tongue. Suddenly I was filled regret about never having taken him to completion in my mouth. My tongue rolled around my lips while my free hand moved up to pinch my swollen nipples. Both of our gazes moved back and forth between our eyes and the heat between each of our legs until our bodies reached their peak and released the pressure mounting inside while softly crying out each others names.

“My God, sweetheart! You are going to be the death of me.”

Feeling adventurous I smiled at him and decided it was time to solve a question that had been weighing on me since the moment I saw his hard shaft pop free from his pants. I sat up and scooted next to him on the bed. I placed a few kissed on his lips and reached down for his hands that were resting atop his semi erect penis. I put his stroking hand to my face which was wet with his essence and carefully began to lick the salty liquid from his fingertips one by one.

My eyes never left his but I knew just a few inches away his cock was getting hard again with ease tease of my tongue. The liquid was sweet and salty, it tasted like candy and I needed as much of it as I could get. His breathing was loud, he was panting and I could see he was having trouble breathing. But still I continued until he was licked clean. I leaned in and pressed one simple soft kiss on his lips.

“Don’t die on me yet sweetheart.”

I licked and sucked on the end of his ear sending a shiver down his arm. What exactly constitutes “heavy petting”? Note to self, next visit with the good doctor request clarification.

“Sixty days until I have your cock in my mouth. I will suck you dry after you have fucked me to the point that I am rubbed completely raw.” I whispered into his ear.

A wave of success came over me as I stepped up off the bed and climbed into the shower locking the door behind me. I abandoned him sitting on my bed, mouth agape holding his erect staff in his hands.

The next few weeks went by in a blur. Julian started back to school and I had managed to find a job serving coffee alongside Rebecca at Coffee Bean. She felt bad about what had happened between Cole and Brea so she put in a good word for me and I was hired the second a position opened up. She had no clue that she was the “other” woman until Brea showed up one day and threw an entire carafe of half and half in her face screaming a bunch of nonsense about “stealing her man”. I was still in shock over the fact that she ever considered that moron to be anything other than a play toy in the first place.

If I had been Rebecca I would have been livid about the incident especially because as it turns out, she had been dating Cole for the past two years and wore his engagement ring on her ring finger to prove it. But she was pretty cool about it once the initial shock of being drowned in cold milk eased up a bit and we have all been pretty copacetic ever since. Needless to say she kicked Cole to the curb, quite literally.

It was hard not seeing Julian, some days he was so busy between classes, homework and his own job at the auto parts store that we didn’t have a chance to actually see one another. At times I wished I had not been so lax in high school so we could at least see each other on campus in between classes. Not that it would have mattered much considering I had to put everything off until next semester in order to get my head straight.

We would go out on the weekends, usually for nothing but food and conversation. We learned quickly that movies were off limits since we couldn’t keep our hands off of each other in the dark of a cold movie theater. We could not drink because the alcohol would cloud our judgment and if he stayed at my place we slept together with the door wide open. Brea’s idea, of course.

Feeling guilty and unsure after our second private play session early the next morning I decided to confront Dr. Schneider and ask him to define his idea of heavy petting. He pretty much shot down all hope of anything that could possibly lead into something more satisfying. Basically, if we were together it was hands off, even if those hands were our own hands violating our own personal space. I am glad I did not wait until my next appointment because I had already failed pretty miserably. It was probably a good thing we rarely got to see one another. It was getting to the point where every time I looked at him he was naked, no matter how many layers there were between us.

Brandon and I had also made up, not that I had anything to make up for really. But I did feel bad that Brandon had to witness the emotional connection between Julian and I in such an ‘in your face’ way. Even though it was unintentional he didn’t deserve to have my relationship with Julian rubbed in his face. I called him the day after he left to make sure he got home safely and was pleasantly surprised when he answered the phone after he first ring.

“Hi, Jem,” he said.

I could hear the sadness in his voice and wanted so much to be able to take the pain away from him but there was nothing I could do or say that would make things any easier. There was no take backs this time and he knew it. I apologized to Brandon for what he saw on the couch.

“Bab.....Jemma...”

He stopped himself from calling me his baby and my heart stopped at the realization that I would never again be his “baby”. He had been calling me that since the end of our second date, I loved hearing him say it because it made him seem real to me. There was always a certain reassurance with the term that told me Brandon was truly mine, it also served as a reminder that I was his.

“I tried to say goodbye to us when I moved to New York but when I came to see you and I saw the way your face lit up when you saw me, I had hope again. But
then I had the unfortunate chance at witnessing the connection between you and
him
, how drawn the two of you were to each other, I realized I couldn’t keep the blinders on anymore.”

“Brandon...”

“No Jem.” He interrupted. “Just don’t, please don’t. Don’t try to play it down, not that I give a shit but he doesn’t deserve for you to play down the feelings you have for him. I know what I saw, I saw
MY GIRL
giving away something I had been trying to get from her for four years with zero success. I saw my girl giving her heart away; maybe she had already given it to him. Maybe all this time she had no heart to give back to me and I just never fuckin’ noticed.”

“But you do have my heart Brandon; you will always have a piece of it.” And I meant every word.

“I have a place in your heart; I don’t have your heart, huge difference. Don’t worry Jemma, I’m a big boy, I’m going to be fine. If I know that you are happy, I will be fine. Look, I gotta go, call me Friday. It’s hard to give you the time that you need during the week and I have no class on Friday. I love you, I promise, I do.”

“I love you too Brandon.”

And with that we hung up. I no longer knew what the future had in store for me and Brandon but it gave me hope to know that we had a date to talk. We had been through so much together, he knew some of my deepest darkest secrets and there was no way I was going to lose him.

I made the call from my room all while Julian sat in front of the television watching
The Fast and the Furious
, it was just my luck that he stepped in to hear the butt end of the conversation.

“Movie ended,” he mumbled leaning up against the door jam. I could sense the quiet sadness emitting off of him.

“I do love him, Julian. I’m sorry if hearing it hurt you but I do.”

Julian nodded his head and walked over to me lifting me off of my bed and putting his arms around me. “I get it. Don’t apologize for your feelings.”

I smiled.

“You know, Brandon said the same thing to me about you.” His eye brow lifted.

“You told him you loved me?”

“I didn’t have to tell him.” I responded.

I had never told Julian I loved the man he has become. In part because of the fact that he was someone I had only recently come to know, it sounded so silly to me, but also because I was afraid to tell him. I did love Brandon, but I was starting to become more and more aware of the fact that I was completely and wholeheartedly madly in love with Julian.

Julian placed a soft kiss on my lips, careful not to put any pressure, then quickly pulled away. We both knew what happened when we opened our mouths and got lost in one another.

“Sweetheart, I do get it. He was there for you when you had no one.....” He paused thoughtfully.

“He might have been your yesterday, but I was your when, I am your now and no matter what it takes, even if it kills me, I will be your future.”

I let out the breath I was unaware that I was holding in and threw my arms around Julian’s neck holding him with all of my might. He wanted a future with me, a future that I could plainly see. I had never pictured myself growing old with anyone before, everyone in my life left me therefore it was decided that there were no tomorrows. I lived every day for only that day because I knew all too well that planning your future could easily end up leading to misery.

“I love you, Julian.” I whispered into his neck.

He tightened his grip around my waist pulling me closer and held me for several moments before pulling away. He briefly looked into my eyes and returned the words back to me.

“I love you to Jemma Hale, always have, and always will.”

What I would not have done to have been able to rip his clothes off right then and there. It just seemed wrong to declare our love to one another and not end up a naked tangled mess of pure pleasure. A girl can dream! And dream...and dream...and dream. Five more weeks.

Chapter Eleven

“So what time is Julian and his friend supposed to be here? You haven’t given me a definitive time yet which kind of fucking sucks balls,” Brea said.

Julian had called me a few days ago to let me know that he had a friend coming in from San Juan for a few weeks. He had wanted to spend time with him but since we were both desperate to spend time together he didn’t want to lose the entire weekend with me either. Together we came up with the idea of setting him and Brea up on a double date. She had become a real homebody since her classes started and when she didn’t have her face buried in a text book she just moped around the house eating, sleeping and driving Julian and I absolutely nuts. She lectured me nonstop and insisted on being present every time he was here. To say that I was starting to feel a little suffocated by my best friend would be an understatement. Her non stop mother hen routine made me want to strangle her.

I was a little apprehensive setting her up with someone I had never even seen before. Truth be told Brea was pretty damn superficial and I knew that if she did not like what she saw then she would completely check out on me. Getting to know Brea over the last few weeks Julian fully registered the words and pulled up his friends Facebook page. Not only was he gorgeous but his name was Jonathan, a little tidbit of information I had left out when I asked her about dinner. Operation “Get Brea the Hell Out of Our Hair” was well under way.

“Seven o’clock.”

“What? Fucking hell Jem, that’s in like, two freakin’ hours!”

I could have sworn I told her already but Brea had a tendency to forget little tidbits like time. Especially when she was nervous and did not really want to participate in an event at the said time, if ever. It took me half a day to convince her to go on the blind date which she only agreed to after I threatened her with sex.

“Brea, if you don’t come with us I fear we won’t be able to keep our hands off of each other. You have been working so hard at keeping my panties on, I would just hate to have to take them off because you were not around to cock block Julian.”

The fact that she found me even remotely serious was hilarious. Julian and I were adults and as adults we were more than capable of controlling our desire to...oh never mind, who was I kidding? I needed Brea on this date as much as she thought I did. What was I going to do if she and Jonathan actually hit it off?

An hour and a half later I was ready to go. I sat down in the living room watching Brea, who ran around the apartment with one shoe frantically searching for its mate.

“Brea, you seriously need to chill out.” I yelled.

“Ugh! Don’t tell me to chill out. Not when you got me into this mess in the first place. Now can you kindly get up off that quarter bouncing ass of yours and help me find my other Steve Madden pump.”

I laughed “You mean this one?” 

I pulled her shoe out from behind my back teasingly dangling it by the heel. She rolled her eyes at me and limped my way snatching the shoe out of my hand. 

“Haha, very funny. You laugh but I haven’t had sex in a month, you set me up with a photograph, a hot photograph but a photograph none the less and I am going out with said photograph a raging hot mess of fiery loins and achy tits, dying to be fondled.”

I continued to laugh at the thought of her dragging poor Jonathan off to the bedroom the moment he stepped through the door.

“Awww, Bre Bre, has John Dong run out of batteries?”

She threw a couch pillow at me, I ducked and the side lamp went crashing to the floor as the doorbell rang and Julian came racing through the door like his ass was on fire. His face looked ready for a brawl, and Brea and I burst out laughing.

“What the hell was that noise?” Julian shouted.

And then in strolled Jonathan just as cool and collected as they came. The moment Brea caught sight of him she stopped laughing and began to choke.

I loved Julian but I would have been blind not to notice that Jonathan was a sight for sore eyes. He was a little bit shorter than Julian but not by much with olive skin, sun-touched eyes, full lusciously pink lips, a body to die for and a bulge in his pants that could be seen from a mile away. He was clearly a commando kind of guy and I could see on Brea’s face that not only did she notice but she didn’t care one bit.

It took a moment for Brea to register that Julian was trying to get her attention. Within moments of starting the choking had stopped and she turned into a gaping lunatic. I had never seen Brea react in such a way to a man before and it was interesting yet completely hilarious to see my best friend off of her game.

“Earth to Brea,” Julian said making a knocking gesture on her head instantly bringing her back to reality.

“Ow, you asshole!” she cried.

“Welcome back!” Julian laughed, taking her by the arm, leading her in the direction of an overly amused Jonathan. 

“Brea Johnson meet Jonathan Briggs. Jonathan, Brea.”

Jonathan offered Brea her hand which she handed him without a moment’s thought.

“Damn Ford, you did not tell me she was a Goddess. Nice to meet you, beautiful.” Jonathan playfully exclaimed.

Jonathan held her fingers and planted kisses on the tips of her fingernails. I watched a long hard chill race down Brea’s arm across her bare back and down her right leg. All I could think of as Julian met my smiling face was “Set, match!” With any luck, tonight I would at least be able to kiss the man of my dreams without her breathing down my neck. I know she was just being the best friend she could be but there is such a thing as going too far. 

“You look beautiful tonight sweetheart” whispered Julian into my ear as he cuddled up to me in the back seat. And I agree I did. I finally got around to wearing the strapless little black dress that I had planned on wearing weeks before. It was paper thin with a tight fitted underskirt, had a small hole cut into the area just below the middle of my breasts, the tiniest of neck straps and a wide shimmering belt that accentuated my bosom and rounded out my ass.

Julian figured it would cut a little bit of the sexual tension between Jonathan and Brea if Jonathan drove. Especially since I chose to be a bad friend and opted to sit with my man instead of next to her. He looked incredible enough to eat in his black pin striped double breasted suit and the closeness gave me the perfect excuse to accidentally rub my hand up against his crotch.

“You aren’t playing fair, my love.”

I looked at Julian innocently and leaned into his ear. “It was an accident and I didn’t realize we were playing a game. Does this game require panties because I am afraid I am not wearing any?”

I breathed out into his ear teasingly and then crossed my legs toward him, being extra careful to open my knees just a little too wide for my own good. With each movement of my body I watched Julian. His mouth was tight, his jaw twitched and his hands were squeezing his knees for dear life. I knew he could see every single underhanded card I played but he held his composure and kept his eyes in front of him not touching me again until he took my hand to lead me out of the truck.

I know I am playing with fire but all I can do is play so I might as well live it up. When our time is up I want him on his knees
begging
to have all of me. Julian thrilled me like nobody ever had before, I felt free and adventurous, I was alive for the first time in my life.

The Driskall Grill was beautiful and unlike any place I had ever been to before. I loved Brandon but he was more of a burger and fries kind of guy, not that there was much else in Taylor. Chili’s down the road in Hutto was about the extent of the area’s culinary offerings. The restaurant was situated inside a luxurious hotel on Austin’s infamous sixth street bar scene. It was dark and cozy with elegant chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. The waiters were exceptionally attentive and the food was something you would find at a restaurant in Paris not the middle of Texas. It was so artistically displayed that I was almost too afraid to eat it.

“Only the best for my girl” piped Julian.

I was his girl. I sometimes think about what Brandon had said to me when I called him in New York to set things right. He had been explaining to me that he could see how much I cared for Julian, no, how much he saw I
loved
Julian.

“…maybe all this time she had no heart to give and I just never fuckin noticed.”

Those words had not really sunk in until a few days after the conversation. I was so busy hating myself for hurting Brandon all over again that I didn’t fully register everything that had been said. But one night, after Julian had left the apartment Brea took a step back and told me that I looked like I was
home
when I was buried up in Julian’s arms.

“I haven’t ever seen you look like that before. It’s kind of like when you have been away from home for a while
and you climb back into that old recliner, a recliner so comfortable that you would end up drifting to sleep in the middle of the best book of your life. You know the second that you hit that recliner that you are home, that you are safe. Julian is like your old recliner.”

It was a strange way to put it but I fully understood what she was saying. Julian
was
my old recliner, he didn’t just comfort me but instead he healed the ache that had been pulsating in my heart since I was a little girl. He was my familiar, he was my family and yes, he was my home.

This was when I really and truly began to think about Brandon’s implications. The fact was that I had spent my life knowing Julian was out there somewhere and somehow I clung to his memory like a life line. I had lost something deep inside of me the day my brother died, even more so when my mother and father were taken from me. To keep from losing all of me, I gave my heart to Julian without even realizing it, hoping and praying he would bring it back to me along with the innocence that Ignacio Hernandez had stolen from me so long ago. Brandon was right, I had no heart left in me to return the love that he so willingly and freely gave to me. It was Julian’s,
it had always been Julian’s.