Read The Boyfriend Bylaws Online
Authors: Susan Hatler
A wet tongue slid across my cheek. “What do you mean?”
“We called The Boat House and changed our reservation to your name.”
I sat upright. “What?”
“It’s Valentine’s Day, my dear.” Dishes clanked and it sounded like the water was running. “Everything’s booked.”
“I’m not gonna steal your romantic holiday evening. No way.”
“Oh, yes you are.” Her tone told me not to mess with her. “I gave you our rez because I love you and I want you to be as happy as I am. I’m sorry you had a few lousy dates, but it’s time to try again. Take another risk. That’s how you’ll find your true love. Your Henry.”
Tears sprang into my eyes. How could she sound so sure? I’d hit thirty-years-old last month. Finding eternal love or even a decent soul mate felt hopeless. Chester cuddled into my lap and I set my hand on his warm, soft head.
An awkward silence filled the line.
“Promise me you’ll give this guy a chance.” Her voice lowered an octave. “Not like the last one.”
I sniffed and grabbed a tissue. “What?”
“I heard how you cut your date short with Timothy because you had to go home and clean out your freakoid dog’s litter box.”
“Unlike you, I live in an apartment and work all day. He loves his litter box.” My eyes were moist, but I managed to chuckle. “You know Chester won’t go unless his area is pristine.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Fine.” I squeezed my eyes shut and sighed. “I’ll meet your Ten and have an open mind with the mystery man. Can you at least give me a clue? Does he have hygiene issues I should know about? Bodies buried in his backyard?”
“No way.” Ellen’s voice was firm. “You forget how well I know you, Rachel Price. If I give you one detail, you’ll twist it into a reason to stay home and clean your refrigerator.”
“Litter box.”
“Exactly.” She paused. “Just show up at The Boat House at 7:30 p.m. sharp, smile, and give love a chance.”
Love? With a stranger? Not likely.
Then, I remembered that Ellen had been single six months ago. Something stirred inside me. A flittering feeling that felt like…hope.
****
Being a woman of my word, the cab dropped me off at The Boat House in Old Sacramento at seven-thirty in the evening. I asked the driver to come back at nine o’clock sharp. After meeting my blind suitor, I’d no doubt get depressively drunk and I figured an hour and a half was my good faith limit for disasterville.
Lots of faith in love.
Yeah, that was me.
I walked up to the hostess, avoiding even a glimpse of all the lovey-dovey couples in the waiting area of this swanky restaurant. “Reservation for Rachel Price.”
The hostess eyed my outfit. I’d worn all black to suit my mood. She, on the other hand, wore a bright pink dress and fingered her way down the list on her podium.
“The other party is already here. Right this way.” She led me to a table in the rear with a scenic view of the river.
I spotted the back of my date’s head and evaluated. Short, sandy-brown hair. Collared shirt. No red flags—yet. He probably had long pointy canines he’d sink into my jugular.
“Here you are. Marcia will be your server and she’ll be right with you.” The hostess gestured to the empty seat and Mystery Guy stood to pull out my chair.
Impressive. I moved to sit down and prepared for the bite. “Thank you. I….” My voice trailed off and my mouth stayed open as I fell back into my chair.
“Noah?”
He smiled and those crinkles appeared on either side of his gorgeous blues. “Surprise.”
To say the least. “Wha…what are you doing here?”
Instantly, I imagined scenarios that made my heart race. That he had a crush on me, too. That we’d laugh and flirt over dinner, make out afterwards, get married, have babies, grow old together, and—
“—I’m saving you from the dentist.”
“The dentist?” Then, I remembered our conversation at work. “Oh.”
He was just being nice. Any lingering hope leaked out of me.
Not noticing, he slipped into his seat. “You seemed less than thrilled about meeting someone new, so I figured you wouldn’t be too disappointed if I showed up instead.”
True. “But how….”
“Good evening. I’m Marcia.” A tall, dark-haired woman appeared. “Would you care to order a cocktail? Our drink special tonight is Love Potion.” Her voice and facial expression lacked any spark of enthusiasm. “Comes in a Martini glass.”
“Sounds cheesy,” I blurted.
“It does.” Noah held up his middle and index fingers. “We’ll take two.”
“Two Love Potions coming right up.” She nodded and disappeared.
I guffawed at Noah’s festive beverage choice. “You don’t even know what’s in it.”
“If we’re going to celebrate the Hallmark holiday together, we should really go all out. How bad can it be?” He winked at me and feather-like flutters tickled my belly.
Actually, with the turn the night had taken, drinking mouthwash would’ve tasted fine. At least I’d get to spend the evening with Noah even if it was just as friends. “Our waitress doesn’t come across as happy to be here.”
“Her mood seemed kind of grim, huh? Maybe she has an appointment with the dentist later she’s worried about.” His lips twitched into a grin.
“I can’t believe you pulled this off.” The red rose centerpiece made me smile. I lifted a rose and breathed in the aroma. Ellen was going to have some serious explaining to do. “What happened to your big plans?”
He grinned. “You mean watching Duke versus North Carolina with Bubbles? I figured I’d have more fun going out with you.”
“Bubbles?” With that kind of name, I couldn’t decide whether or not I needed to be jealous.
“My golden retriever. They named her at the pound before I rescued her. In case you were wondering.” He leaned forward in his chair. “Duke v. NC is a big deal. With March Madness right around the corner, this game could turn out to be a preview of the Final Four.”
Sports talk. I had no idea how to translate that. If his big plans were to watch basketball with his dog, then that suggested…. “Does this mean you’re single?”
He nodded and then reached for his water. “Would I be here if I weren’t?”
“But you’re hot.” Oh, good job, Rachel. Impress him with your intelligence, why don’t you?
He choked on his sip, coughed into his hand, then set his glass down. “I’ll take that as a compliment, but as long as we’re comparing looks…are you sure you’re single?”
A zing went through me. Man, he was smooth. Very smooth.
“Yes, I am.” I smirked. “Single, that is. Like you.”
He laughed and I could feel the smoldering going on. “Good. Glad that’s settled.”
The waitress returned with our mystery drinks, took our orders, then left without a hint of a smile.
Noah eyed his martini glass. “Time to find out if it’s toxic.”
“Should we take turns in case one of us has to call 911?” I asked, playfully.
He leaned toward me, his face sobering. “I say we go down together.”
My skin tingled and I so wanted to get that in writing. I lifted my pink drink. “Here’s to taking chances.”
He raised his glass. “In more ways than one.”
I took a sip and the syrupy sweet liquid slid down with ease. I loved it. I loved Ellen. I loved life. Wow, who would’ve thought it?
Lowering my glass, I traced the sugary lip with my finger. “You know, I don’t do small talk well. I swore this would be my last blind date.”
“I promise, no small talk. And as to your vow, I’ll do my best to hold you to it.”
Hold me to it? I was kind of hoping he’d just hold me. I blushed at the thought and grasped for conversation. “How’s it possible you don’t have a girlfriend?” I blurted, still amazed that I was here. With Noah. The Noah. The one I’d been dreaming about for months. “Since you’re so hot, I mean.” I added that last part teasingly, poking fun at myself.
I could tell he thought I was cute.
Maybe this Love Potion stuff had been a good idea, after all. I took another fortifying sip.
He set his glass down on the table. “Well, I was in a relationship for several years before I relocated for this job opportunity. Kate’s a great person, but we didn’t see ourselves spending the rest of our lives together. Our break-up was mutual and amicable.”
Clearly, Kate was insane.
He reached for a piece of bread, buttered it, then set it on my plate. “What about you?”
“Nothing so civil.” I picked up the tiny slice of bread and took a breath. “Jeremy and I were never on the same page. It felt like two years trying to put a tuxedo on a pig.”
“Sounds like a lot of work,” he said, seriously.
“It was, but I can thank my hairdresser for taking the load off me. She’d been giving him more than haircuts, behind my back, if you know what I mean.”
He winced. “Sorry to hear that.”
I leaned toward him, bit my bottom lip, and gave a little shrug. “I’m over it.”
“I’m glad.” Forget smoldering. We’d advanced to downright sizzling.
Heat blazed through me. This ranked beyond The Friend Zone. If I could speak, I would’ve asked for the check. Instead, my eyes were locked with his and there was no way I was looking away first.
The waitress set our plates down in front of us, distracting me and breaking the moment.
Noah tugged at his collar, then picked up his fork. “What were we talking about?”
“Relationships.” I beamed, loving that I seemed to affect him as much as he did me.
“That’s right.” He cleared his throat. “You told me earlier, you had enough with trivial conversation. What’s that about?”
I scooped some mashed potatoes with my fork. “Ellen, being an ecstatic newlywed, thrives on fixing me up through Henry. For some reason, whenever the small talk starts I just zone out. Can’t help it.”
He blinked. “Who’s Henry?”
“Ellen’s husband.” I lifted another forkful of potatoes, and they melted in my mouth. Even food tasted better when I was with Noah. “Which reminds me. She’d said I was meeting with Henry’s softball buddy. A Perfect 10.”
He put a hand to his chest. “Are you saying I’m not a 10?”
More like a 25. I moistened my lips, trying to be smooth. “I’m still deciding.”
Just because I was head over heels, didn’t mean I’d play easy.
“Well, then. Let me see if I can gain some points for creativity.” He dabbed the side of his mouth with his linen napkin and set his fork diagonally on his empty plate. “Since you seemed to be dreading the blind date so much, I figured I might have a shot.”
My heart pounded in my chest.
“Since you didn’t know your real date, I figured it wouldn’t make a difference if I had Ellen substitute me in instead.”
Oh, it made a difference in a good way. I savored my last bite of salmon, almost unable to believe Noah’s confession.
“Truth be told, Rachel,” he looked down, almost shy, before he met my eyes again, “I’ve tried my best to flirt with you for over two months now, but wasn’t quite sure if you were interested. You, um, seemed to date quite a bit.”
I put a hand to my forehand. I’d suffered through two months without Noah because I’d been letting Ellen set me up. “How could you think I wouldn’t be interested? You’re…well, you’re hot.”
He smiled softly. “Glad you think so, but you never indicated you thought that.”
My body heated so fast, I had to hold the table to steady myself. “Consider yourself indicated.”
He fixed his eyes on me, then slipped his hand over mine and laced our fingers. “Likewise.”
I swallowed, having trouble getting my feelings across. “You know what I think, Noah?”
He tightened his fingers and shook his head, still gazing at me. “What?”
Deciding to call and cancel the nine o’clock cabbie, I gestured to my empty glass. “I think this Love Potion really works.”
****
Life suddenly felt like a Disney movie. Girl meets boy. Girl likes boy. Boy surprises girl on a not-so-blind date. Boy gives girl ride home and girl finds his golden retriever on the front seat of his car—gotta love a man who’s devoted to his dog! Girl and boy go back to her place to watch sports highlights cuddled up on the couch together.
I glanced at the rug on the floor where my miniature beagle curled against Noah’s Golden Retriever. “Thank goodness Chester and Bubbles seem to be hitting it off.”
Noah slid his arm around me. “How do you think their owners are doing?”
I gazed into those soft blue eyes and decided they were even more amazing close up. “This definitely rates as the best blind date ever.”
He smiled, showing me those adorable crinkles, and then leaned toward me.
I held my breath….
Brrrring!
My home phone shrilled.
Oh, no. No! No! No!
“Ignore it,” I whispered, but Noah was already handing me the phone.
I glared at the plastic receiver. Who would call me at ten-thirty at night on V-Day? Didn’t they know I was busy? I pressed the talk button on my cordless. “Hello?”