The Boyfriend of the Month Club (34 page)

“Hey!” Penny said, frowning at the officer in Butch’s defense.

“Something like that,” Grace admitted.

“And as the store’s manager, you have the authority to give permission for the building’s use?” Tall Officer asked.

“Yes. Definitely,” Grace said. “But I also have the authority to ask them to leave.”

“Okay, seems to me like this is pretty cut-and-dry.” Tall Officer turned to the crowd. “Ladies, I’m going to have to ask you all to start filing out. Understand?”

No one seemed happy, but to Grace’s relief, the women began exiting through the front door.

Marty came back inside looking frazzled. “Grace, I can’t get the customers to understand that the store is closed.”

Tall Officer looked at Grace. “Would you like to me handle the customers as well?”

Have Florida Charlie’s customers told to leave by the police?

“No, I mean, the store
is
closed, but—”

“What about him?” Bubble Butt demanded, pointing to Butch. “Aren’t you going to arrest him?”

“Ma’am,” Officer Lakowski said, “it appears that he was acting as an agent for the manager of the building. Unless he actually physically assaulted you, then there’s nothing we can do.”

“He ran after me, but I was faster. God only knows what might have happened if he’d caught me!”

Butch snorted. “Yeah, you wish I’d caught you.”

The woman lunged for Butch, who flung his arms up in the air to fend off the attack and, in doing so, accidentally hit Officer Lakowski in the jaw with his elbow. Lakowski went down, bringing an entire rack of T-shirts with him.

“That’s it, buddy!” Tall Officer grabbed Butch and hand-cuffed him. “You’re coming with us to headquarters for striking a police officer.”

“But it was an accident!” Penny said. “He was only trying to defend himself.”

One of the women who’d joined the group a couple of months ago ran to Officer Lakowski’s side. “Oh my God, Matt. Are you hurt?” With her help, he sat up and rubbed his sore jaw.

“Karina! What are you doing here?” He looked torn between being happy to see her and leery.

“I’m a member of the club.”

“It’s Colonel Brandon!” someone shouted.

That’s why Lakowski’s name had seemed familiar. He was Karina’s ex-boyfriend. The perfectly sweet, yet dull, Colonel Brandon.

Shania’s head popped up above the crowd, like a scary jack-in-the-box. “Officer, how does it feel to know that you’re one of the men the club has reviewed? Do you agree with the Colonel Brandon characterization?”

“
Who
? Ma’am, I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Officer Lakowski said.

Grace didn’t wait to hear how Karina was going to explain that one. She ran after Penny, who was running after Tall Officer and Butch. They watched helplessly as Butch was placed in the backseat of the squad car. A few minutes later, Officer Lakowski joined them and they drove off.

A small crowd of people who appeared to be customers were still lingering by the front doors. Grace told them that the store was officially closed and hoped they would come back on Monday.

“You aren’t open tomorrow?” one woman asked. “I thought everything was open the day of the race!”

Grace almost opened the doors to let them in, but it was all too chaotic still. Plus, she had to help Penny. Grace watched, frustrated, as the customers went off, grumbling to themselves all the way to their cars.

Penny had tears in her eyes. “I’m going to follow Butch and see if I can clear this up.”

“I’m coming with you,” Grace said.

“No,” Penny said, wiping away her sniffles. Penny, crying twice in the same year. This was really something. “First, get the store cleared out and locked up. By the way, we had a record-breaking sales day today.”

Well, there was some consolation in that, Grace supposed.

“Okay, you’re right. You go be with Butch. I’ll be down at police headquarters just as soon as I deal with a couple of things. Like breaking Ellen’s laptop.” Despite the gravity of the situation, Penny smiled. Grace gave her a hug and waved her off.

There were a few stragglers left in the store. Luckily, Phoebe wasn’t one of them. She must have slithered out the door when Grace wasn’t paying attention, which was good because Grace was afraid if she saw her again she might strangle her. Grace shooed off the rest of the women and locked up so no one else could get inside. Marty had already righted the collapsed rack of T-shirts and Ellen and Sarah were putting the shelves back in order.

“Grace, I’m so sorry,” Ellen said. “I can’t believe what happened here tonight. I never
never
meant for it to go down like this!”

Grace sighed. “I know you didn’t mean for all this to happen, Ellen, but now Butch is in jail and there’s some crazy Shania person who wants to write an article on us. Have you ever heard of a blog called
What’s Up, Daytona Beach?
”

“Heard of it? Grace, Shania’s blog gets thousands of hits a day! Isn’t it awesome? She’s a little snarky but
totally
sympathetic to the female cause. Trust me, whatever she writes about us, it’ll be favorable.”

“Favorable for who?”

“What about this woman who slandered Charlie tonight?” Sarah demanded. “Are we going to let her get away with that?”

“Well, I hope you know I’m not going to write
that
review up for the files,” Ellen said.

“Write it up for the files?” Sarah repeated in stunned disbelief. “Is that all you’ve got to say? Clearly the woman is missing brain cells!”

“Or in need of some strong medication,” Ellen agreed quickly. “I never once believed her. Of course, Charlie is innocent!”

“I have to warn Charlie about her,” Grace said. “Before any of this gets back to his firm.”
Or to Mami and Pop
. Grace put her arm around Sarah and gave her a fast hug. “By the way, you were a real tiger tonight. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were Charlie’s sister, the way you came to his defense. Thank you.” She handed Sarah the keys to the store. “I need a favor. Can you and Ellen help Marty clean up this mess? I’d stay, but I have to go to police headquarters and help spring Butch.”

“Don’t worry,” Sarah said, giving Ellen the stink eye. “Neither of us is leaving until this place is spic-and-span clean.”

The police didn’t release Butch until after one a.m. No charges were filed against him but it still seemed to Grace to be a very severe case of police bullying. And Colonel Brandon, aka Matt, had seemed so nice at first! The only good thing that had come out of tonight was that Butch had gone back with Penny to her apartment, and from the way the two of them had been making goo-goo eyes at each other, Grace would say that the Penny/ Butch estrangement had definitely come to an end. Penny had gotten what she’d wanted. Butch had made the Grand Gesture, and Grace was truly happy for them.

She rolled her car into her empty driveway. No sign of Joe. He said he’d come over tonight, but that was before their one-on-one on the dock. She should call him, but it was late and she was exhausted and she didn’t want to say anything she might later regret. But she did call Charlie. He needed to know the crap Phoebe was spewing about him. But Charlie didn’t pick up, so Grace left him a message to call her back ASAP.

29

Be Careful What You Ask St. Anthony For

The next morning Grace woke up to find a text message on her cell phone from Charlie.
Call me no matter what time you get this.
He must have heard about Phoebe and her little “announcement” last night. What else could be that urgent?

She called but his cell went directly to voice mail, irritating Grace to no end. It was just like Charlie to leave a cryptic message and then not be available. Nor was he at church, like he should have been.

No one seemed to think it was strange that Charlie was missing from Mass, but Mami was the first to comment on Grace’s appearance. “Grace, honey, are you sick?” she asked on their way out of church.

“Is it pinkeye?” Pop asked. “That’s contagious, Tomato. Might want to see the doctor first thing in the morning.”

“Have you been crying?” Leave it to Abuela not to beat about the bush.

“I need to talk to you, Pop. You too, Mami and Abuela.” It wasn’t going to be easy to tell them about last night’s brouhaha at the store. Pop would be angry, which wouldn’t be good for his blood pressure. But the fact that the cops had been called to handle a disturbance at Florida Charlie’s wasn’t something she could keep from him.

“What’s going on?” Pop said. “First Charlie, now you.”

“First Charlie what?” Grace said.

“Your brother called us this morning,” Mami said. “He’s going to miss Mass and supper, but he’ll be at the house later this evening. He said he had something very important to tell us. As a family.”

Great.
The Miami thing. Charlie had finally decided to break the news that he was moving, and it couldn’t have come at a worse time. Pop would be mad about the incident at the store and Mami and Abuela would be sad over Charlie leaving town. A good time would be had by all.

“Does this something you have to tell us involve your new boyfriend?” Pop asked, winking at Grace. “He’s coming over today for supper,” he informed Mami and Abuela.

Shit
. She’d forgotten she’d told Pop she’d invite Joe over.

Before Mami and Abuela could get too excited, Grace had to nip things in the bud. “Um, things are a little complicated.”

“Complicated? How? In my day, if you went off for the weekend with someone you were practically engaged.”

Grace could feel a trickle of sweat run down her back. She was thirty years old, damn it. “Times have changed, Pop.”

“Obviously,” he grumbled.

“Maybe he can come over some other time,” Mami said diplomatically.

Grace threw her a grateful smile.

She was in the process of getting the dishes out of the cupboard when Abuela intercepted her. “You never answered my question, Gracielita. Why have you been crying?”

Half a bottle of eye drops and thirty minutes of cold cucumber compresses hadn’t been enough to keep her eyes from looking like she’d spent ten minutes in an alley with Mike Tyson. She wished she could spare Abuela this latest romantic heartache, but the truth was Grace needed to talk to someone about Joe. She’d almost called Sarah this morning, but under the circumstances it seemed too tactless to boo-hoo on Sarah’s shoulder, especially after the news Grace had dropped on her last night. And she certainly didn’t want to interrupt Penny and Butch’s reunion. As for Ellen? Grace was still so mad at her she wasn’t sure she’d be able to keep from punching her in the nose the next time she saw her.

“It’s the St. Valentine’s Day Curse, Abuela. I think it’s happened again.”

“Lo siento, mi amor.”
Abuela laid her palm against Grace’s cheek. “But all couples fight. It will be all right. Remember, I saw it in my dream.”

Grace tried for a smile because she didn’t want to bring Abuela any unhappiness. No use telling her that the man she saw in her dream wasn’t the man she was talking about.

Just as they were sitting down to supper, Grace’s cell phone rang.

“Hey,” said Joe.

“Hey, yourself.”

“Was everything all right at the store?”

“Things got a little . . . crazy.” Mami called Grace to the table. “Look, Joe, can I call you later?” She wanted to ask him how things went between his aunt and Phillip, but it seemed like a subject better brought up in person.

“Sure,” he said, sounding disappointed. Which Grace took as a positive sign. At least Joe wanted to talk about the problem. Maybe it wasn’t as bad as she thought. Maybe they could still salvage their relationship, whatever that was.

Pop was full of nervous energy. He gave Grace the lowdown on the yoga class that Jim, the manly therapist, had suggested he take to relieve the anxiety Pop hadn’t even known he had. Hearing Pop talk about things like the lotus position and chanting a mantra made Grace laugh out loud, which was good, because Grace needed to laugh right now. Pop knew how to tell a story, that was for sure. Too bad Charlie wasn’t here. He would love listening to this. But this was the way it was going to be from now on, just the four of them, with Charlie down in Miami. It was depressing to think how much she’d miss her brother.

After supper, she helped Mami clean the dishes. Pop was getting impatient. What was keeping Charlie? he asked. And then he started dropping not-so-subtle hints that whatever it was Grace needed to say, she might as well have at it.

Grace had wanted Charlie to be present when she told Pop about the boyfriend meeting. He needed to know what Pheobe was saying about him, plus Grace really needed some sibling moral support. But it was after five already, and Grace had only gotten three hours’ sleep last night. She was exhausted. And Pop wasn’t going to wait a second longer.

She waited till they were gathered in the living room to begin.

“I know you don’t like talking about the store on Sundays, Pop, but what I have to say can’t wait until tomorrow. Plus, this involves the whole family too, including Charlie. I wanted to wait until he was here, but I’m beginning to wonder if he’s even going to show up, so I might as well get this off my chest.”

Grace was met with three serious-looking faces. “So . . . you know how Sarah and Penny and Ellen and I had a book club that met at the store after hours?”

“Sure, you met in the Hemingway corner. Damn appropriate, if you ask me,” said Pop.

“Don’t cuss, Charlie,” Mami admonished. “It’s bad for your blood pressure.”

“
Damn it
, Ana, can you think of something that
isn’t
bad for my blood pressure? Because if you can, I’d sure as hell like to know what it is!”

Mami’s jaw dropped and Abuela’s eyes got big. Grace had heard her parents argue before, but she’d never seen Pop lose his cool over something so minor.

“Ever since I had my heart attack I’ve listened to you tell me what I can eat, what I can’t eat, what time I should go to bed, when I should get up in the morning. Hell, if you could tell my bowels when to move, I’m sure you’d take charge of them too!” He gave Abuela an apologetic shrug. “
Perdóname
, Graciela,” Pop said, apologizing to Abuela in perfect Spanish, “but I have to get this off my chest.”