The Brain in Love: 12 Lessons to Enhance Your Love Life (23 page)

Figs

High in amino acids, figs are believed to increase libido. They can also improve sexual stamina. Furthermore, the shape of a fresh fig and its sweet, juicy taste are two tangible aspects that are highly pleasurable to the human senses.

Garlic

Yes, you might need to stock up on some extra breath mints, but it’ll be worth it. Garlic contains allicin, an ingredient that increases blood flow to the sexual organs. As such, it’s a highly effective herb for increasing libido. If the odor just won’t work for you, or you can’t stand garlic, you can always take garlic capsules instead.

Nutmeg

Nutmeg has been mentioned in Indian Unani medicine for enhancing desire. When researchers from Aligarh Muslim University in India gave an extract of nutmeg to different groups of male rats daily for seven days, the female rats involved in the study were made receptive by hormonal treatment. The general mating behavior, libido, and potency were studied and compared with the results produced by Viagra, showing a significant augmentation of sexual activity. It increased erections and mounting frequency. Nutmeg was without any adverse effects.

Oysters

Oysters have long been considered the food of love, and legend has it that Casanova ate dozens of oysters a day, once even seducing
a virgin by sliding an oyster from his lips to hers. Whatever the case, the truth is that oysters are high in zinc, a mineral used in the production of testosterone. Not only the hormone behind the male sex drive, testosterone is believed to stimulate the female libido as well. Oysters also contain dopamine, a chemical that increases focus and motivation for fun.

Sea Vegetables

Sea vegetables such as dulse, kelp, and nori are great aphrodisiacs because they are chock-full of minerals such as calcium, iodine, and iron, which help in balancing the thyroid gland and endocrine system … as a result, strengthening the libido.

Semen Taste Tips

Cinnamon, cardamom, peppermint, and lemon will improve the taste of semen. Garlic, onions, curry, or asparagus will have the opposite effect. Since women have a more sensitive sense of smell and taste, great hygiene is usually the best policy to reinforce the experience positively.

Delicious Vulvas

Some men say they do not want to give oral sex to women because of the taste or smell. The variances of tastes and smells depend on a number of factors, including what a person has eaten, where women are in their menstrual cycles, and the pH of the vaginal secretions. Of course, what a person finds appealing is very individual. Natalie Angier writes, in
Women: An Intimate Geography
, that our skin’s pH stays between 6.0 and 7.0, while a healthy vagina is between an acidic 3.8 and 4.5. Examples of acidic pH foods are lemons (2.0), coffee (5.0), and wine (4.0). As a woman’s pH climbs, her secretions smell stronger and stronger. Bathing with a hypo-allergenic soap that has a low pH is one way to counteract the
strong scent. Strong foods such as asparagus and garlic will increase the scent, as will multiple vitamins. Lemons, oranges, and grapefruits may soften and sweeten the scent. As with everything else about sex, tactfully talk about what you like and what you don’t. Showering together before oral sex is often an erotic form of foreplay.

Exercise

Exercise can keep your heart healthy, your body slim, and your psyche sound, and now studies show it can act as an aphrodisiac, too. Although you may not feel so sexy after a sweaty workout, don’t be surprised if you find yourself feeling in the mood for love. Research now suggests that along with all of the other health benefits exercise imparts, it can also give a big boost to your sex life. The reason has less to do with getting stronger than with the release of endorphins in the brain (as a result of physical exertion) that influence how we feel. These are the same neurochemicals responsible for a “runner’s high” or the sense of exhilaration that comes from skiing down a mountain or after an intense aerobics class. It turns out these brain chemicals may also be linked to the release of hormones that power the sex drive. Research has shown that women who exercise regularly tend to have more active sex lives, are more easily aroused, and reach orgasm more quickly than those who don’t work out. Less vigorous Eastern forms of exercise take another approach. Instead of stimulating brain chemicals to rev up the sex drive, yoga and tantra provide postures designed to help resolve specific sexual problems. Some are said to work by stimulating blood flow to the genital area while others are directed toward maximizing sexual performance and satisfaction. While there’s no scientific proof that these ancient exercises add up to effective aphrodisiacs, practitioners seem pleased with the results. If regular exercise has no appeal, then twirling around on the dance floor can get the juices flowing just the same. In fact, whether the music is a minuet or mambo, moving to the beat is an
age-old, socially sanctioned mating ritual. Whatever your preference—from the treadmill to the dance floor—it seems clear that the more you move your body, the better your sex life can be.

Touching, Feet, Foreplay, and a Very Strange-Looking
Little Man in the Brain

Touch is a central aspect of sexual experience. Touching stimulates oxytocin, which in turn stimulates trust and comfort, setting the mood for sex. Knowing where to touch can be tricky. Not all areas of the body are created equal when it comes to sensory neurons, and starting with the genitals is usually considered bad form, even though they have a bazillion nerve endings.

Neuroscience can give us clear guidelines on how and where to touch someone to maximize erotic stimulation. Our skin has receptors that detect whenever something touches us. These “touch” receptors feed into the brain’s parietal lobes in such a way as to create a “touch” or sensory map. Certain areas of the brain have many more touch receptors than others. In medical school I was introduced to the concept of the homunculus, a very strange-looking little man that illustrated the percentage of sensory nerve fibers in the brain (see Figure 9.1). From the illustration, you can see that the lips, hands, feet, and genitals get the lion share of brain space for sensation. The fingertips, for example, have the highest density of receptors: about 2,500 per square centimeter! Using this information, one can see why holding hands, kissing lips, and stroking a face with fingertips can be very stimulating. The brain has wired these areas to be very sensitive. In addition to the size of a sensory area, its placement and next-door neighbors can also give us important clues. For example, in the homunculus, the genital area is next door to the foot-sensation area. These areas share neural crosstalk and exchange information. This may be why many women say, “If you want your way, rub my feet.” This anatomy lesson may also help explain foot fetishes, why women collect shoes, and why rubbing and kissing feet is so erotic.

“Feet have always had an erotic connotation,” says Suzanne Baldaia, a fashion historian and professor from Rhode Island in an interview with the
Chicago Sun-Times
. “Folklore offers us many examples of the shoe being a symbol of female genitalia. In many cultures, a bride’s shoe was offered to the bridegroom as a symbol
of property, and as an exchange of something a little bit deeper.” The prince in the story
Cinderella
is a classic example of a man chasing after a woman’s feet. Feet are definitely an erogenous zone. Men love spiked heels, patent leather shoes, a glimpse of toes, which some have labeled toe cleavage.

When treating sexual dysfunction in women, Masters and Johnson found that sensual touching helped to focus on the pleasure associated with touch rather than genital response. They suggested foot rubs because they are not threatening and more comforting. Little did they know about the real reasons foot rubs worked. Foot rubs have also been helpful in pain management. Massaging feet stimulates the receptors in the muscle that activate the “nonpainful” nerve fibers and therefore prevent pain transmission from being felt. In studying this phenomena, researchers found that a twenty-minute foot massage after taking pain medication significantly decreased pain intensity and distress as compared to receiving medication alone.

Just Find the Damn Spot

During the middle of my appearance on
The View
, discussed in Lesson Four, where we were talking about the differences between male and female brains, Joy Behar interrupted me, saying, “Just find the damn spot. All you have to do is find the spot.” She then repeated her observation several more times. I suspected she was referring to the clitoris, or perhaps even the G-spot. So, is it true? Do men just need to find the spot and rub up against it? I suspect not; sexuality is more complicated. But finding the spot is an important part of the puzzle, for both men and women.

Where is the G-spot? Is it real? The concept of the G-spot (more accurately referred to as an area, instead of a spot) was first discussed by Ernest Grafenberg, MD, in 1944. It was expanded on and popularized by Beverly Whipple and John Perry in the 1980s. Practitioners of tantric sex have been talking about this “sacred spot” for more than a thousand years. Even though it remains
controversial, many women swear by it. To be clear, it is important to note that Dr. Grafenberg did not think there was just one erogenous spot. He wrote, “Innumerable erotogenic spots are distributed all over the body, from where sexual satisfaction can be elicited; there are so many that we can almost say that there is no part of the female body which does not give sexual response, the partner has only to find the erotogenic zones.”

Okay, there are many spots. But is there a special spot? Dr. Grafenberg thought so, “
An erotic zone always could be demonstrated on the anterior wall of the vagina along the course of the urethra
[
the emphasis here is mine
]. Even when there was a good response in the entire vagina, this particular area was more easily stimulated by the finger than the other areas of the vagina. Women tested this way always knew when the finger slipped from the urethra by the impairment of their sexual stimulation. During orgasm this area is pressed downwards against the finger like a small cyst protruding into the vaginal canal. It looked as if the erotogenic part of the anterior vaginal wall tried to bring itself in closest contact with the finger. It could be found in all women, far more frequently than the spastic contractions of the pelvic floor. … After the orgasm was achieved a complete relaxation of the anterior vaginal wall sets in.”

Similar to the male urethra, the female urethra seems to be surrounded by erectile tissues, called the corpora cavernosa in males. In the course of sexual stimulation, the female urethra begins to enlarge and can be felt easily. It swells out greatly at the end of orgasm. The most stimulating part is located where the urethra arises from the neck of the bladder.

Erotogenic zones in the female urethra are sometimes the cause of urethral masturbation. I have seen several teenage girls with this problem. Girls stimulated themselves with hair pins, pens, or pencils in their urethra. The blunt part of the old-fashioned hair pin, or other small, narrow object, is introduced into the urethra and moved back and forth. During the ecstasy of the orgasm some girls lose control of the object and it ends up in the bladder. Most girls who lose these objects feel ashamed and hide the incident from their parents until a bladder problem results. These lost objects have caused bladder stones, infections, and tears. Urethral masturbation also happens in boys, men, and couples. I have seen patients with drink stirrers lodged in their urethras. This happens more when the couple is drunk and they have low prefrontal cortex activity.

Another interesting discovery associated with G-spot research is the incidence of female ejaculation. Milan Zaviacic and his colleagues at Comenius University in Bratislava reported research on this phenomena in an article published in the
Journal of Sex Research
. The study was conducted with twenty-seven women; a G-spot was found in all, and ten of them experienced episodes of feminine ejaculation. The accepted theory is that the G-spot is analogous to the prostate and associated glands, as it seems to produce
a fluid chemically similar to male seminal fluid. This phenomenon is one that many women mistake for urinary incontinence, although the fluid released is actually quite different from urine. This is not an uncommon occurrence, as is shown in “Female Ejaculation: Perceived Origins, the Grafenberg Spot/Area, and Sexual Responsiveness,” an article in the
Archives of Sexual Behavior
. According to the introduction, 40 percent of the participants in an anonymous mail survey of 2,350 women (with a 55 percent response rate) reported experiences of ejaculation.