Authors: Beverly Lewis
“But Amish people are behind the times. Certainly you know that.”
The pronouncement stung. “We’ll talk later.” Louisa rose and went to get her purse.
Her mother rushed toward her, desperation on her face. “I want to hear more, Louisa. Believe me.”
She turned around, forcing a smile. “I can’t now, Mother. Really …” She headed for the studio door, determined not to lash out in anger.
“Wait. Before I forget, Courtney called. She wants to see
38 you but says you aren’t returning her calls.” “I’ll catch up with her.”
Mother frowned, touching Louisa’s sleeve. “Well, please, give her a call soon.”
Exhaling, Louisa lifted her chin. “I’m not opposed to seeing Courtney, and if you must know, she is one of the main reasons I came home when I did.” “Really? I had no idea.”
Louisa opened the studio door. “I’m sorry, but I need to get going.” She hurried out of the strip mall and to her waiting car. A half hour remained before her next students would arrive, and Louisa was in need of some coffee and some air.
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Preacher Jesse watched his daughter prance shamelessly up the back steps and into the house, carrying the rope swing he’d just given her. She struts about like a peacock. “And does as she pleases,” he added aloud, spitting out the words. Such a time he’d had lately, folk fussing from all directions, since near everyone in Paradise, or so it seemed, had now heard of Annie’s painting on that there magazine cover. “Downright bigheaded she is,” he muttered to himself, lifting the harness over Betsy’s small ears. “Comin’ back here to my house … each, without so much as an apology yet.”
He was still mumbling and fretting when a police car turned into the lane. He’d heard from the smithy and others that oodles of Englischers were in the neighborhood, going from farm to farm, asking questions.
His neck hairs prickled as the police officer opened the door and climbed out of his vehicle. “Not on this property,” Jesse whispered to himself, making a beeline toward the officer. I don’t want Barbara to have an encounter with him.
“What can I do for you?” he called, recognizing the tall
40 blond man as the same one he’d spoken to the day Zeke had been taken away.
“I believe you’re the preacher I met last week. Preacher Zook, isn’t it?” The man smiled. “Lots of folk with that name around here.” He pulled out his ID and showed it quickly. “I’m Officer Kipling… and thanks for your time today, sir.”
Jesse was once again intrigued by the gold badge on the navy blue uniform shirt and could scarcely stop staring at it. “What brings ya over here?”
“I’d like to ask you and your wife a few questions regarding Ezekiel Hochstetler.”
“Well, now, things will work better if you put your questions to me and leave my good wife out of it.”
The policeman frowned, blinked his eyes, then continued, “How many children eighteen or older live in your house, Mr. Zook?”
This man must be deaf! “As I said, no need to be talkin’ to anyone but me, Mr. Kipling.”
The younger man seemed taken aback, but he pulled out a small pad and pen from his shirt pocket. “Thanks for your cooperation, Mr. Zook. I appreciate it.”
Jesse squared his shoulders, inwardly preparing for what lay ahead. “Glad to be of help.”
Annie and her mother peered out the kitchen window. “Ach, what’s this?” Annie whispered, her heart in her throat. She’d heard more than she cared to from Essie about her frightening day with the police, though on that day, Zeke had been the one to call them. Not a soul had invited this intrusion today, as far as Annie knew.
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“Oh, what do you think they want?” Mamm said softly. “I’ve never seen the likes of this.”
She wouldn’t frighten Mamm unduly by describing the alarming scene at the cemetery. “Come, let’s head over to the Dawdi Haus and stay put with Dawdi and Mammi Zook lest they become frightened, too.”
“Jah, gut.”
They headed to the front room and opened the connecting door. Annie wondered, all the while, if Essie might be sending a prayer toward heaven were she here witnessing all this.
Thank goodness she’s notI. Annie thought. Esther had been through enough trauma for a lifetime.
“What’re ya doin’ with that swing I saw ya bring in?” Dawdi Zook asked, lifting his chin toward the adjoining door.
“It’s the one Isaac and I used to play on at the locust grove,” Annie explained. “I want to have it put up again. It’s been down too long.”
Mammi smiled, as did Mamm. “You and Isaac were quite the youngsters,” Mammi said.
To this, Dawdi agreed with a nod. “Never saw anything like it the way the two of yous took to each other. You’d-a thought you were twins or some such thing.”
Annie hadn’t heard that before. “Isaac’s surely in heaven, jah? Little ones go there, even before judgment day?”
“That’s up to the Good Lord,” Dawdi was quick to say.
Annie sighed. Everything’s up to Him, she thought.
The birds suddenly quieted when the police car pulled into the lane. Esther ran from the barn into the house,
42 closing the back door securely behind her.
In the kitchen, she found Laura standing on a chair at the sink, wiping the counter clean. “Bless your heart.” Esther hurried to her daughter’s side. “You’re the best little helper, ain’t?”
Laura nodded. When her lower lip trembled, Esther gathered her near.
“I miss Dat.” Laura buried her face in Esther’s neck.
“Well, sure you do.”
“When will we see him again?”
“Soon … soon,” Esther said, shushing her. She had no knowledge of when Zeke might return, but she had every hope that it would be right quick. ” ‘God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble,’” she said, quoting the Psalms. She must not let fear overtake her must keep her heart wide open to the Lord Jesus. She knew all too well the lack of joy that came from shielding her heart.
When loud knocking shook the front door, she breathed in sharply. She wondered what might happen if she simply ignored it. Most of all, she must not let on her worry, not in front of the children.
“Why is someone at the front door, Mamma?” Laura asked, her eyes wide.
“I’ll go ‘n’ see. You stay here with your brothers and baby sister.” She kissed the top of Laura’s head and turned to go, heading through the small sitting room between the kitchen and the long front room. Her heart pounded so hard she could scarcely breathe.
Timidly she opened the door. There stood two police officers, a man and a woman, both dressed in navy suits with
43 trousers, and bright gold badges on their shirts. Like the policemen who came for Zeke.
“Mrs. Hochstetler?” the woman said. “Mrs. Esther Hochstetler?”
She wondered how on earth they knew her name. Jah.”
Both of them held out thin wallets with their pictures in leather frames. “Officers Keller and Landis,” said the dark eyed woman with long black eyelashes, which were surely painted on. “May we come in and ask you some questions?”
Esther faltered, hand on her throat. What would Zeke say to do? Her husband was not here, and neither was Annie. It was just the children and herself, so she must decide how to answer on her own. “What’s this about?” she asked softly.
“This shouldn’t take much time, if you cooperate with us,” the woman named Officer Keller said. “Your husband is Ezekiel Hochstetler, is he not?”
“Jah, goes by Zeke …”
“We’ve been assigned to ask those in the neighborhood to attest to his character,” Officer Landis continued.
“Well, I’ve known him a gut long time.” Esther assumed they knew as much, but she felt terribly uneasy and hesitated to let them in.
“We’ll be brief,” said Officer Keller, smiling through pink lips. “You just tell us what you know. It’s as easy as that.”
Esther’s palms were sweating and she felt queasy. Her experience with Englischers was ever so limited.
Officer Keller frowned and pushed back her hair. “There’s nothing to be afraid of, Mrs. Hochstetler. This won’t take but a minute.”
One minute? She was feeling ever so put upon. Was she
44 required under God to speak with them?
“What you know may help your husband,” Officer Landis said.
“If that’s so, then I … s’pose.” She opened the door a bit wider.
“Thank you,” the two said in unison and stepped into the house.
Esther offered them a place on the settee in the front room, then excused herself to hurry to the kitchen. “Laura, dear, are you all right? Mamma’s go in’ to be busy for a short while. Keep your eye on your sister and brothers, won’t you?”
Her daughter’s eyes glistened as her focus darted toward the front room and back. “Oh, Mamma, what’s goin’ to happen? Why are those Englischers here?”
She realized that Laura was worried the police people might be here to take all of them away, just as they had Zeke even she herself wasn’t so sure they wouldn’t. “You call if you need me, ya hear?” she told Laura.
“I will, Mamma.”
Poor thing. First her father’s gone, and now this. Esther couldn’t help but pray as she headed back to the waiting officers. I trust you for wisdom, O dear Lord.
Zeke Hochstetler recalled holding his drinking glass up to the gas lamp at home some weeks back to peer through it curiously. Esther had muttered something about it looking as if he were searching for some answer in the glass, and he’d mocked her but good. What was it about that woman, thinking she could flap her lip whenever she dared? He could hold
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a glass up to the light and stare through it if he wanted to.
Frustrated, he stopped his mental rambling. He was torn in two. One part liked telling Esther what to cook him for supper or demanding how many logs to throw into the belly of the stove to warm the house. The other part of him knew he’d been terribly harsh, even brutal, with her. Sure, he could make her do his bidding during the daylight hours, and after dark, too. Wasn’t he the head of his household under God? Yet requiring his family to be at his beck and call, allowing no lip from any of them, had gotten him hardly any respect.
Stiffly he paced in this strange English place, though it was no longer as foreign to him as the day he’d arrived. The police detectives must be done digging up Isaac’s bones, he thought, recalling how he’d given them directions to the burial spot. He was surprised the brethren had not reprimanded him for doing so.
Continuing to pace back and forth in his cell his cage he suddenly wondered what it would be like to wear the heavy fur coat of a lion or a tiger the nap and wool of a powerful animal’s skin connected to his own body. Yet he grew weaker with each step. What’ll they do to me when they see I was telling the truth all along?
He’d had the oddest feeling not a soul believed what he’d said about killing Isaac. At least one of the detectives had looked askance at him. Only when he’d insisted he could direct them to the bones the proof they needed did he get their attention at last.
Isaac … my brother! You didn’t deserve to die. Still, I spared you a life of dread. I kept you from becoming a man. I
cut you off before you could become like our father … and like me.
He sighed heavily, feebly stroking his beard. He let his thoughts slip away further, back through the blurry curtain of years.
They’d gone north on Belmont Road, he and little Isaac, both disobedient as all get out that night. No, it had been he and not his innocent brother who had ignored their stern father. “Tomorrow’s plenty soon,” Dat had said. “Put the dead pup out behind the barn till morning, and then we’ll bury it.”
Nonetheless, Zeke had crossed his father, driven by the desire to do things his own way, just as his father’s cruel and defiant nature ruled him.
Zeke couldn’t help but notice the light at the Progressive Shoe Store as they made their way along the deserted road. Like a distant star the yard light beaconed to them, its message pulsating through the blackness: Turn back, return home. Beware!
The small wooden coffin became heavy after all that walking, but never once did Zeke ask Isaac to carry his own dead puppy dog. It was Isaac who’d suggested the grove near Pequea Creek for the grave a place where they often played while Dat and Mamma visited nearby neighbors where the now stabbed-to-death puppy had romped and yipped at their heels and splashed in the creek. It had been Zeke’s idea to count the steps to the tree and then turn toward the creek. Eight steps and four, for the years of their lives … his own and Isaac’s.
There was such unspeakable sorrow between them. The silence was thick, except for Isaac’s constant sniffling and
47 weeping, which became annoying. Isaac had loved this puppy more than any boy ought to love a pet.
And when the time came, Ezekiel began to dig the hole with the big, hard shovel.
Angry, vicious strokes …
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Ben leaned hard on the kitchen table and buried his face in his hands.
Adopted?
Completely stunned by the news, he shook his head. “I wasn’t born to you and Dad?”
Mom sighed, her face clouded with sudden grief. “We should have told you long ago. Your father wanted to, but the longer it went, the more reluctant I became.” She stopped to brush away tears. “I’m so very sorry.”
He stared across the table at the woman whom he had always believed to be his mother. “How could you keep this from me?”
Her chin quivered. “It was my idea to spare you further hurt, though I wanted so much to tell you right after your adoption was finalized.”
“You don’t struggle over whether to tell a baby these things. How old was I, anyway?” He felt overwhelmed with the knowledge of this betrayal.
“You were only four when all the legal work was finished. Well, we assumed you were still that age, although in the
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end we had to decide on a birth date for you.” She stopped to catch her breath. “And every year that slipped by, your father and I worried we should be telling you the truth.” He glared at her. “Why didn’t you?” “We should have. I see that now all the more … how restless you are, as if you’re searching for something. First going off to work in Amish country and now wanting to go overseas …” She covered her eyes with her hands, whimpering. “I’m sorry, Ben. I’m just so sorry.”
He rose. “I don’t get it. What possible reason could you have for keeping this from me.7 And what does my move to Lancaster County have to do with anything?” He didn’t wait for her answer, though. He felt as if his chest might cave in and suffocate him. Rushing through the living room, he made his way toward the front door, where he yanked his jacket off the coat tree and left the house.
Annie was becoming anxious now, still staring out at her father and the policeman from the kitchen window in the Dawdi Haus. “How much longer will he stay?” she asked.
Mammi Zook came and led her away. “Ach, not to worry, dear one. The Lord God has us all safe in the palm of His hand.”
“Honest, Mammi?”
“Oh, jah. I’m ever so sure.” Her grandmothers eyes glistened, but not from tears. She’d always had shining eyes. “We’ll have us some chamomile tea with honey, Miss Annie,” Mammi said, readying the teapot and setting a cup at the place next to hers at the table.
50 Annie forced a smile and sat beside her father’s mother. Dawdi had gone upstairs to rest, and Mamm had returned to the main house to prepare lunch. Annie wasn’t so much thankful to have a cup of Mammi’s well-brewed tea as she was having this opportunity to simply spend time with her diminutive Mammi Zook. Living with Essie was all right, but Annie missed her family and knew there was little she could really do to help her friend, flustered as she was about her husband. No one seemed to know much about Zeke’s crime. Now, it seemed, Daed was getting things straight from the horse’s mouth.
She resisted the urge to turn and peer out the window again, trying to be calm about the unexpected police visit. “S’pose they have a job to do,” she said softly.
“Jah, according to their ways,” Mammi remarked. “We know not the way of the fancy. We live in the world but are not of it.”
Annie had heard that said enough times, but as Mammi spoke, it reminded her of the great big world out there, far from Lancaster County. Far away, where Ben Martin lived, on the other side of that seeming vastness that separated them so.
“How does the Lord God keep track of everyone ” Annie had asked the same thing of Julia on occasion. More recently, she’d put the same question to Essie. ”Does He look down from on high? Does He care what’s happenin’ with each of us?”
“Oh, I don’t know how, but He cares, all right. I know this in my knower,” Mammi said, pointing to her head. “I believe it in here, too.” She patted her heart, sighing. “Your
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fancy friend, Louisa, used to ask me things like this, too, Annie.”
“She did?”
“Oh my, quite often. A nice girl, Lou was. Too bad she Upped and ran off so awful quick.” “She had her reasons.”
Mammi nodded! her head, the strings on her Kapp falling forward. “I thought she might’ve found herself true love here.” Annie scarcely knew what to say. She wasn’t going to admit it by revealing Lou’s secret meetings with Sam Glick. Mammi had a peculiar look in her eye as she poured the hot tea. “I have the feelin’ Lou might be a good one for getting her pies in early enough to head outside to watch the robins skitter about the birdbath of a morning’.”
Annie laughed. Mammi must think Lou would make a good Plain woman. She blew on her tea gently before taking a sip. The taste was so appealing, it made her feel nearly homesick. Yet she was right here, sitting and enjoying such good fellowship this minute. “I honestly don’t expect to ever see Louisa Stratford again,” she declared.
Drawing a breath, Mammi blinked her eyes several times before saying, “Ah, well, I s’pose we’ll just have to wait ‘n’ see on that, won’t we?”
Annie couldn’t begin to imagine it. Truth be known, Lou was not exactly a predictable person. She was a woman of many interests, and Annie was just as sure as could be that Lou had returned to the life she’d missed.
Jesse strolled along with Officer Kipling out to his car. His head was pounding at the thought of what the police—
ice
52 man had said to him a few minutes before that the authorities felt sure they had something big to go on with Zeke, what with him leading them to Isaac’s bones and all. Jesse had been mighty careful what he said. He certainly didn’t want it known that he’d been the one who had originally found and buried Isaac’s remains.
“When all’s said and done, how can you punish Zeke for a crime he committed as a child?” Jesse asked, still baffled at the possibility that Zeke had actually killed Isaac as a boy.
“First things first,” the man said. Jesse had found out quickly that the officer was not one for offering simple, straightforward answers. “Forensics will determine what it can regarding the remains the gender and age of the bones.”
They have to be Isaacs … no doubt on that, Jesse thought. But he didn’t say as much. The brethren had long ago decided not to divulge the news of the boy’s disappearance, and they still wanted to keep their hands clean of any connection. God’s ways were misunderstood by outsiders, for sure and for certain God’s ways and the Old Ways.
Jesse was still mighty surprised that Zeke had not implicated either the bishop or himself, as he was so sure he would. Because, after all, it was not Zeke who had discovered and then buried those bones.
And it was right then that Jesse stopped in his tracks. Was it a crime not to report a missing child? If Isaac was ever truly that …
When the policeman finally left, Annie returned to the field to talk with Yonie, who had just finished plowing that
53 section of land. “You’ve still got yourself a car, ain’t?” she asked as they walked toward the house together.
He looked at her. “Why do you ask?”
“I want you to take me over to the Pequea Creek covered bridge sometime soon. How ‘bout tomorrow?” She explained that she wanted him to put the old rope swing back up on the tree, where it belonged.
“What the world for?” he asked, eyes wide.
“Don’t ask questions. Just help me get it up there again.”
He argued with her a bit more but finally agreed to take along a ladder tied to the top of his car because she warned there was no other way to reach the branch due to the thorns. “If I’m to put the swing up, I’ll have to smuggle the ladder out of the barn.”
“Do whatever you have to. Stop by for me tomorrow, maybe?”
Surprisingly, he agreed. “That might just work.” He said he’d heard Daed talking about possibly meeting with the brethren at noon tomorrow. “Jah, that’s fine. Be ready, though, so I don’t have to wait.”
She scrunched up her face. “I’ll be ready.” Then to herself she added, Been ready for years.
“Your bishop, Andrew Stoltzfus, has granted us permission to ask you a few questions,” dark-haired Officer Landis said to Esther, folding his hands as he leaned forward on Esther’s settee. He glanced at the policewoman next to him. “And Officer Keller, here, will get things started.”
The woman had a peculiar habit of squinting her eyes and fixing her gaze on something far away. Just what, Esther
54 didn’t rightly know, but it was clear the woman was not at all comfortable with the task at hand. “Is your full name Esther Hochstetler?” she asked.
She nodded.
“How long have you lived here in Paradise?”
“My whole life.”
“And how long is that?”
“I am twenty-three years old, as of last September.”
“How long have you known your husband, Ezekiel Hochstetler?”
“Since my first singing, seven years ago.”
“How long have you known his family?”
“Never much knew them.”
The policewoman stared down at her notebook, pen poised on the page. “How many years?”
“Same as I’ve known Zeke … seven.”
“How many children do you have?”
“Four.”
“Please give their names and ages.”
Esther felt her hands go clammy. “Is this ever so necessary?”
The woman offered a quick smile. “It is public record, of course. We just need you to verify.”
She breathed in slowly. “Laura, our eldest, is six. Zach is three, John is two, and the baby, Essie Ann, is fifteen weeks old.”
The woman flipped her notebook page and scribbled something at the top. Then, looking up again, she continued. “Have you ever known your husband, Ezekiel
55 Hochstetler, to threaten anyone with bodily harm with the intent to murder?”
“No.”
“Has your husband, in the past or presently, ever abused you or any of your children?”
She paused. She didn’t know quite what that meant. “I’m not sure.”
“Has your husband ever punished you or your children unduly?” The policewoman’s chest rose and fell, and Esther could see that she seemed to struggle.
Is this a trick? She began to whisper a prayer in her first language. “O Lord God be ever near… .”
“Esther, please answer the question to the best of your ability.”
She wanted to help and not hinder her Zeke, so she considered what she best be saying.
“Explain what you mean by punish?” She managed to eke out the question to the strangers as they looked at her as if she had done something wrong. These Englischers had nerve to come here. Then she remembered they’d said Bishop Andy was all for the questioning. What on earth did that mean? Did he know the sort of things being asked of her this day? And wasn’t her own experience as Zeke’s wife … wasn’t that how most women were treated by their husbands? But Annie says Preacher Jesse is gentle and kind to his wife, she recalled.
“Has your husband ever physically abused you or your children?” the policewoman repeated.
Sure he has … when any of us disobey, Esther thought.