The Captain's Lady (30 page)

Eric's reaction now made sense. The knowledge left her feeling remorseful as she came to understand how he perceived her actions.

With a second chance possible, Abby felt an overwhelming debt of gratitude toward Joe for stepping in. After their talk, she was able to see Eric's actions more clearly. It was amazing they shared many of the same fears, especially that painful fear of rejection.

She would be the one to take the first step. Abby smiled at her plan for tonight. It was almost fully developed. She offered up a silent prayer that Joe was right, and Eric in fact did love her. What a fool she'd look if—

No, she wouldn't think that way. She hated when self-doubt crept in. Abby swallowed the growing lump of apprehension. She would not allow it to take hold. That's what had gotten her into this mess in the first place.

She was not sure how he did it, but to say she was surprised was an understatement when Joe showed up with a package for her. Opening the brown wrapper, she paused just for an instant as a flush of embarrassment tried to take hold. With a shy smile, she looked up into Joe's subtle, knowing gaze.

"He'll love it,” was his only reply, before giving a conspiratorial wink and taking his leave.

Joy, along with a primitive instinct she determined to be anticipation, rose up from some place deep inside. It had to be from the acknowledgement that she was prepared to fight for this man, whatever it took. And tonight, she would find a way to make him realize it.

For the past few weeks, everything frustrated Eric. He spent hours in a tense body clench. He'd taken to avoiding people, hiding out in a spare room on a lower deck. And now, on top of everything else, the admiral had arrived. Why on this ship, of all places? Why now? Had he heard something about the marriage? Have I finally exhausted all the boundaries by keeping Abby here?

He remembered vividly the conversation with the admiral earlier last week. The CIA was furious with his sudden marriage and his attempt to thwart their plans, although Vice Admiral James gave assurances that Abby was safe. And even though Washington was questioning what he was doing with Abby on a US Military Ship, recent events in Bahrain were taking precedent. Families and other military personnel based there were being sent home. Recent intelligence reports indicated that insurgents were planning a major attack against U.S. or western targets in the Gulf Arab Kingdom.

His shoes were silent on the freshly washed passageway as he made his way to his cabin. Eric didn't want to go there, to face Abby, but this was where the admiral insisted on meeting.

Eric had done his best these past weeks to avoid a confrontation with Abby, but now it was inevitable. He twisted the knob and bolted through the cabin door intending to make this trip as quick and as painless as possible.

And was stopped mid-stride at the sight before him. Abby stood beside the round table wearing a bright red dress that revealed a very generous display of breasts. There were thin straps over shapely shoulders. It was indecently short, only coming up to mid thigh. He was sure he must be gaping like a fool; his loins tightened.

Her beautiful long blonde hair shone with health. Hanging straight, it nearly touched her waist. She wore nothing on her feet or legs, but stood there in all her glory before him, an extremely symbolic gesture. The tenderness bestowed on him from her eyes, as she slowly and carefully walked over to him, nearly made him melt. She held out a hand as if he might flee out the door at any moment. Not for a moment did he consider it.

He yanked himself from the hypnotic state into which his wife—he realized that was the first time he'd actually thought the words—had thrust him. Without taking his eyes off this image before him, he closed the door. Then reaching out, he grasped her hand in his and drank in the sight of her.

"Eric, I'm so sorry I didn't tell you before ... I love you."

Her deep blue eyes were earnest, pleading. He pulled in a breath and gently squeezed her hands. Abby reached up a tentative hand and caressed his cheek.

"Please forgive the way I acted. I was hurt. I-I didn't think you loved me. I thought it was just some misguided sense of duty you felt toward me. I know there're still things you haven't told me about why you did it, but I just want you to know, I trust you completely and I know you would never do anything to hurt me or Ra—"

Eric stopped her with his mouth as he pulled her to him with such overpowering need it hurt. Covering her lips with his, he told her without words what she meant to him.

She gasped for breath in his embrace and with some reluctance he eased away. Their eyes met and he felt a rush of emotion that weakened his knees. A faint glow came from behind her and he focused his attention a moment. Stubby emergency candles flickered on the table. A cereal bowl of artificial yellow roses. Dishes covered with metal lids.

The most romantic thing he'd ever seen.

Her hands grasped his; she led him to the table. “I wanted something special for you—for us—for tonight. I hope this is okay. I know it's not—"

He cocked his eyebrow at her. “Are you trying to seduce me, woman?"

Her eyes widened and he almost laughed. His words shocked her? Lifting her chin with a finger and holding it until her eyes moved up to meet his gaze, he lowered his lips onto hers. That's when reality hit him. She was inexperienced. Possibly had been a virgin before the rape by Seyed. This was nothing they had ever discussed in detail—hell, they'd hardly spoken about anything. And virginity was sure nothing he expected; women of this generation rarely came to a relationship untouched by another man.

He held her close, letting the lengths of their bodies touch. “Abby, have you ever made love?"

Tears suddenly popped into those deep blue eyes. She nodded. When she spoke, pain etched her voice. “Just with Seyed, when he...."

Eric stopped her with another kiss. Afterward he said, “Was that the first time ... with him. Were you a virgin?” Nodding, she sheepishly looked away. Firmly, he held her face between his hands. “Don't be embarrassed. What Seyed did ... that wasn't making love. What happened with him was not your fault. And the fact you've never been with another man makes me very happy. I want to be the one to teach you."

Confusion marred her face. “But I don't want to disappoint you; I thought men wanted experienced women in their beds."

Her logic frustrated him. “Wherever would you get a ridiculous idea like that?"

A coy smile appeared. She traced her tongue around her lips. He took this as his cue and lowered his mouth to hers. He captured her tongue in his teeth, twining it with his, pulling her to him. His hands soothed her back, caressed her. His body tightened with need. God, it had been so long. And she felt so good.

He pulled back, lifting his mouth from hers. They were both gasping for breath as if having just run a marathon. He leaned his forehead against hers and breathed in her scent, desperate to gather his control. “Are you ready, I mean, is it okay tonight? I don't want to hurt you. Is it too soon after the baby?"

Gentle fingers against his mouth stopped him. Her cheeks were tinged with pink that spread down her neck and across her beautiful breasts. “It's okay, I talked to the doctor, and he said it's fine. It's been well over a month, closer to six weeks."

She pulled him toward the table. Nervous butterflies twitched in her stomach. As Eric's hand stroked her lower back, she lifted the covers off the plates. His hand moved up, and then down, feathering her flesh in a way that raised goosebumps all over her. She dropped one of the metal lids. It clanked harshly in the silence. They both stilled, listening for a sign the noise had wakened Rachel. Abby moved the lid to the side. She turned and looked up into eyes that twinkled in the candlelight. “Petey said your favorite dinner is roast beef, so I hope this is all right."

He cocked an eyebrow. This mannerism would appear arrogant to some people. Abby now knew it was his way of discerning the truth. “You've been mighty busy today, haven't you?"

Reaching over he pulled out her chair. Then, supporting her arm, he helped her to sit. His eyes widened as the dress slipped high on her thigh. Rather than feel embarrassed, Abby felt deliciously sinful. Eric sat, moving his chair close. Their legs touched and gooseflesh rose again.

"I was sent down here to meet the admiral,” Eric said, “whom I was told had mysteriously flown in. I was starting to think I was losing it.” He shrugged, looking for all the world like a small boy. “It's hard accepting that I've been so distracted I might've missed something as important as the admiral's arrival on my ship."

Abby laughed, then thought of Rachel and slapped a hand to her mouth. “I didn't know what Joe would tell you, he just said he would make sure you were here precisely at 1900."

They dug into the feast that had been prepared for them, chatting of nothing and everything. Abby knew she'd never recall any of the conversation. His presence had her feeling absolutely drunk. She felt so domestic. Was it possible for every night to be like this, looking after him, tending to his needs? Heat suffused her heart and spread like fire through her veins. If only.

She took a sip of water to cool the inferno inside her. Was this love? Or possibly—she felt shy even thinking the word—passion. Abby set the glass on the table. Suddenly Eric shoved back his chair and threw down his napkin. His face was serious and for a moment, she wondered if he was running away on her again.

"What is it? Is something wrong?"

Eric rose and began pacing, just as she'd done while awaiting his arrival. His right hand was squeezing the back of his neck, a gesture she knew meant he was perplexed.

The arm dropped. “Abby, we have a lot to talk about..."

She got up quickly and hurried to him. She reached up and laid a finger to his mouth. “We do, but not now. Please."

She watched his jaw clench. The agitation in his eyes changed to indecisiveness, and then ... it happened so fast Abby almost fell ... he drew her into his arms, wrapping them around her in a grip so tight she gasped. Even the novice Abby couldn't miss the tension that roiled through him. He was fighting an internal battle that she was incapable of resolving.

"I would like nothing more than to take you to bed and make you mine, but before anything happens, you need to be clear on a few things. I'm overbearing. I can be a real bastard at times. You need to understand what you're in for if you get involved with me. I call the shots, it has to be that way, and there will be no
I have to have my own career, too
. I expect you at home cooking meals, looking after my children. What's mine stays mine. Do you understand what that means?” She tried to respond, but he wasn't through. “I'm not a negotiator. I'll try to be patient, but it has to be on my terms, I won't change—can't. Can you honestly tell me you can live with that?"

Smiling wryly, she let out an exasperated sigh. “I know what you're like, be sure of that. But I also see a man who is willing to protect me and my baby—"

"Our baby."

"Our baby.” She inclined her head. “You are also a man of honor who went out of your way to protect my feelings, even though it meant hurting yourself. As for a career, I've always dreamed of having a husband and children. I never wanted a career. You know, Eric, my dreams aren't that far from yours. I've always dreamed of a husband who looked after his family, who made sure we had everything we needed. One who made me feel loved and cherished, someone who made the decisions.” Her voice faltered. It was hard revealing herself to him all at once. “When I was growing up, I was looking for someone like you, only I didn't know it. The few boys I went out with said I was too serious, that I needed to lighten up and have fun. Their fun wasn't anything I could enjoy."

He laid his hands on her shoulders, holding tight, then caressing in small circles with his thumbs. “I'm sorry for what you went through, but please don't
lighten up
.” He smiled down at her. “You still haven't answered me."

The sternness was clear as he held himself back from her, and spoke again. “Can you honestly say you'll be able to live like that? Follow my rules and obey me? No career and be a mother to my children, stay home and raise them? I have cave man ideals and I'll not change, so you better think about it before we go any further, because if you decide to take that step, I will not let you go, do you understand?"

Abby met his steady gaze, licking her lips before speaking softly. “I fell in love with you when I saw you standing above me out on the deck. You're not as bad as you think.” She stood on tiptoe to kiss the corner of his mouth. “I don't want to have a life without you. The thought of being with you and having your children fills me with such happiness.... I can't explain it. I do have a mind of my own so I won't promise not to argue with you or disagree with you, but I will never go against you. I believe in you, in us."

Resting his forehead against hers, he smiled, while gently outlining her lips with his thumb. He rubbed her nose with his and then ever so lightly, brushed his lips across hers. Slowly at first. Then deeper. Something, either a gasp or sigh, expelled from her as Eric's tongue sought entrance to her mouth. The sensation was awkward, but she didn't resist when his tongue entwined with hers and began plundering her mouth. Twinges of something else touched her limbs, her fingertips, her toes, until she was clinging to him. She felt her breasts flatten against his chest.

A squeak, then a hungry cry erupted from the next room. Abby pulled away, laughing. “Let me check on her, I'll be right back.” As she ran into the bedroom, she felt Eric's eyes searing her backside. She prayed he'd still be there when she returned. She picked up the wide-awake baby and returned to Eric. He was seated on the sofa. Abby handed Rachel to him.

"I just need to feed her again, and then she should go right back to sleep.” She turned her back to him. “Can you unzip me, please?"

Soon, the dress lay on the floor. Abby stood before him in nothing more than her panties. She felt her cheeks burn with shyness and picked up one of Rachel's blankets from a pile of clean laundry. Why she felt the need to cover up, she couldn't say. Wasn't she just about to show him the whole package?