The CEO Daddy Next Door (15 page)

Sixteen

M
arcus had been half-awake for a while, basking in Ashley's beauty as she slept. He knew exactly how lucky he was to have found her.

Ashley stirred, stretching and arching her back, rolling her head from side to side on the pillow. A narrow sliver of morning sun peeked between the drapes. It was nearly nine thirty. When was the last time he'd slept so late on a Sunday? It certainly hadn't happened since Lila had been born.

He and Ashley had both needed the sleep. They'd taken full advantage of their night together, only drifting off for short spans before one of them would find the other beneath the sheets, hands would rove, lips would touch skin and the glorious cycle would start all over again. They'd fallen together so perfectly and now a day of reckoning was upon them, or at least upon him. Ashley was due to get her apartment back tomorrow. Their experimental coupling had been more than a success—it was a revelation—but it wasn't the full reality, only a partial one.

“Morning,” she said sleepily, folding herself into him, resting her head on his chest.

“Good morning.”

He caressed her back, kissed the top of her head. Thinking about what might lie ahead filled him with hope—guarded hope, but he'd take what he could get. It had been so long since he'd felt any hope at all about his future, the future of Chambers Gin, or the things that Lila had ahead for her. He wouldn't let her suffer, but some scars were unavoidable, and she would someday understand that her birth mother had chosen not to be there for her, not for the quiet moments like her first step and not for the big ones either—like her first day of school or her first boyfriend, God help him. If there was any justice in the world, Lila would grow up with two loving, adoring parents to soften the blow of the truth.

He counted on Lila's presence to remind him that the world was still a beautiful place. Now he had Ashley to remind him of the same. Something inside him had been awakened, a part of him that he'd thought Elle had robbed him of. He'd let down his guard and love had come rushing in, the exact opposite of what he'd feared.

But there were two pieces of this beautiful puzzle that remained unsolved, and that scared him more than anything from his past. He couldn't reason either thing away. He couldn't think them away or ignore them. Ashley might be perfect for him, but she might not be perfect for Lila—and vice versa. Ashley was skittish about her ability to handle motherhood. There would be no choice but to end his love affair with Ashley if it proved to be a bad match. He would once again be dragged down into the hell he thought he'd never survive the first time.

And then there was her apartment. She was moving forward with her new builder tomorrow, and that meant moving forward with a life that didn't include Marcus or Lila. He was trying so hard to stay calm, to keep things at a pace that she was comfortable with, but it was incredibly difficult. He wanted to race toward happily ever after, not wait and hope that it would all fall in place. That meant it was finally time to come out with the words he could no longer hold back.

“What do you want to do today?” she asked, resting her chin on his chest. She reached up and played with his chest hair then smiled at him.

She froze him in place with that smile, reminding him to take a breath—this was the way he wanted to feel. Right here, right now. She was the one, the real one. He took her hand in his, wishing he had a big fat engagement ring to put on her finger. “Before we make a single plan, I have to tell you something that I should've said days ago.”

“Okay...”

The leading tone of her voice suggested he might be about to scare her off, but he had to keep going, even if his heart was about to pound out of his chest. “I love you.”

Her smile rolled back across her face, ushering waves of profound relief for him. “I was starting to wonder if I was going to have to say it first.”

“So you're saying?”

She nodded. “I love you, too, Marcus. I love you so much I feel like there are cartoon hearts coming out of my eyes every time I look at you.”

He laughed, her words warming him all over. She had such a way of putting things. “I look at you and my view of the entire world is better. Perfect, in fact.”

A rush of pink colored her cheeks. “That's so sweet. You're going to make me cry.”

“Don't cry. I'd rather make you happy.”

She scooted closer and kissed him softly. “You do make me happy. And I have a confession to make. I think I've been falling for you all along.”

And to think they'd been on the same page for a while. “I know I have been. And it made me a real prat there for a while. I'm sorry for that, too, but it was frustrating to see you and feel like it wouldn't work.”
And would it work? For real? Forever?

“I wasn't always on my best behavior either. I think we should both forget that chapter and start fresh.” She grinned again. She'd always been full of life, but now she showed him a universe of possibilities, a future.

“I couldn't agree more. Which is why I want to call Joanna this morning and ask her to bring Lila home early. I want us to spend the day together. The three of us.”

“You do?” There was an edge to her voice that he'd heard before, full of caution.

“Talk to me. Tell me what you're thinking.”

She turned onto her side and picked at the blanket with her fingernail. “I'm happy that you finally trust me to be with her, but I'd be lying if I said it didn't make me nervous. I'm not so naive to think the biggest obstacle between us is that easily overcome.”

His stomach knotted, but he tried to push past it. Ashley was not Elle. He knew that. Still... Ashley and Lila hadn't spent any time together at all. That had seemed like the prudent, protective thing to do, but he'd never expected he would fall so head over heels in love. Now he regretted that he'd done things that way, but he couldn't undo any of it. He had to give fate a nudge and hope that things would work out. It wouldn't be Ashley's fault if it didn't work out. She'd never asked to become Lila's mum.

“I don't want you to worry about it. It'll just be the three of us spending a Sunday together.”

She nodded slowly, but he could tell that the gears in her head were turning quickly. She was running away with thoughts of where this all went, and that was usually the moment when she started to panic. Precisely the reason he couldn't bring up things like commitment, marriage or dismissing her new contractor.

“And then what?” she asked. “I can't escape the feeling that this is a test, Marcus. What if we don't hit it off? Then what? You tell me goodbye and I have to live across the hall from the man I love but can't actually have?”

“Now you understand exactly how complicated my situation has been all along.”

“I always understood your situation. But I need you to see it differently or it's always going to feel like I'm the outsider trying to find her place. Any hesitation from me isn't about a fear of motherhood or responsibility, although I readily own up to both of those things. I can push past that. What scares me so much is that I can't hurt you the way Elle hurt you. It would kill me to disappoint you like that. And then we'd both be heartbroken.”

He closed his eyes and kneaded his forehead. Moving forward with his plan was the only way to know. He and Ashley couldn't hole up in his apartment forever. The world outside was still going round. Life was moving ahead. They needed to do the same. It was the only way to get what he truly wanted—a life with Ashley.

“I love that you love me enough to not want to break my heart. But I can't fall out of love with you, Ashley. We can't undo what's been done. The only path for us is forward.”

She nodded. “Okay. Call Joanna. Let's bring Lila home.”

* * *

Ashley was a messy tangle of nerves when the knock at the door came, announcing Lila and Joanna's arrival.

“They're here.” Marcus, dressed in his weekend attire of jeans and a T-shirt, rushed over to let them in.

“Hi, hi, hi,” Lila muttered in her sweet voice, practically launching herself out of Joanna's arms to get to Marcus.

“There's my girl.” Marcus pulled her to his chest, bundling her in his arms.

Ashley wasn't sure she'd ever seen so much pure love between a parent and a child before. He rubbed her nose with his, just like the picture on the bedside table in his room. They both laughed—Lila's were squeaks and giggles. Marcus's were low and came square from his chest, in the vicinity of his heart if she had to wager a guess. Tears welled in Ashley's eyes. It felt as if she was tampering with perfection even to be here. Was she good enough to be such a big part of their lives? Was she worthy of even a second with Marcus and Lila? He'd been so concerned all along with giving Lila the perfect life, but he'd done precisely that. Lila had a daddy who would do anything to protect her and keep her happy.

Ashley's eyes connected with Joanna, who'd been witnessing the reunion and was similarly choked up. Their conversation at the distillery was fresh in her mind, the simplest of questions—
do you want to figure it out?
The answer was an unequivocal yes, even if the prospects scared the living daylights out of her.

“I'm going to run and let you three have your day,” Joanna said. She kissed Lila on the cheek. “I'll see you soon, sweet girl.” She then ruffled Marcus's hair into a mess. “Don't be a tosser.”

“What's that supposed to mean?”

“You know. Have fun today. The three of you. Together.” She winked at Ashley and disappeared through the door.

Marcus walked the baby over and stood hip to hip with Ashley. “This is Ashley,” he said to Lila. “I want you two to spend lots of time together. Lots and lots of time.”

Lila was having nothing of the introduction. She seemed to catch sight of her basket of toys in the living room, pointing and kicking to get down. Marcus was quickly flustered, holding on to Lila while she clearly wanted to play.

“It's okay,” Ashley said. “We can't force this.”

Marcus walked Lila over to the toys and set her down. The little girl pulled herself to standing with the help of the basket and began yanking toys out of it, one by one, and dropping them to the floor.

“She likes to unpack.” Marcus sat down on the floor, leaning against the wall.

Lila's work-like approach brought a smile to Ashley's face. Ashley sat down next to the basket and pulled out a stuffed frog. “Who's this?”

Lila looked at her, holding on to the basket for balance, a deeply serious look crossing her face. She plucked the animal from Ashley's hand and deposited it in the pile with the other toys.

“So that's how this game works?” Ashley reached into the basket again, pulling out a squishy ball and presenting it to Lila. Lila was less concerned now, simply taking the toy and adding to the pile.

“Yes. We put every last toy on the floor and then we play. Not before then,” Marcus said. “Lila's rules. I simply follow orders.”

“You have Daddy trained. Smart girl.” Ashley tried again, finding a well-loved stuffed bunny. Lila's face lit up when Ashley handed it over.

“Oh. Look, Lila,” Marcus said. “Ashley found Mr. Bunny.”

Lila set Mr. Bunny on the floor, but separated from the other toys, and went back to work, reaching down deep into the basket.

Marcus reached out and held on to the back of Lila's shirt. “This was always my worry, that she'd go headfirst into the basket. It gets a bit treacherous when we get to the bottom.”

Lila squirmed against Marcus's grip and let go of the basket, dropping down to sit on the floor.

“What if we just do this?” Ashley grabbed the basket and dumped the remaining toys onto the floor.

Lila's eyes were wide with shock. She stared at Ashley, not moving. Ashley was duly mortified, bracing for a bout of tears. Then the little girl's face lit up with delight. She giggled so hard her shoulders bounced. She scrambled to her hands and knees, crawled to the pile of toys, picked up a block and passed it to Ashley, who wasn't sure what she was supposed to do. So she put it back in the basket. Lila laughed again and went for another toy.

Marcus sat back and shook his head, smiling. “Leave it to you to devise a new game.”

“I'm just following her cues,” Ashley said, tossing toys into the basket. Once it was filled, she sent the toys crashing to the floor. Lila nearly exploded with fits of laughter.

Marcus joined in, and they played the new game for a good hour until Lila eventually got tired of it and began crawling around the apartment. He and Ashley followed the baby as she explored. She'd pull herself up to standing next to the couch or coffee table, stepping side to side, holding on. At one point she let go of the couch, reached for the coffee table and made the short journey.

“She's going to be walking soon,” Ashley said. “Like, really soon.”

“I know. It's all going so fast.” Marcus sat down on the couch and patted the cushion next to him. “Sit. You should pace yourself.”

“I'm starting to get that idea.”

He put his arm around Ashley and pulled her close, kissing her forehead. Lila took notice and turned back to them, planting her hands on Marcus's knees and bouncing on her toes. “Do you want up?” He let go of Ashley and scooped Lila up into his arms, planting her on his lap, facing him.

Lila slumped against him, resting the side of her face against his chest, looking at Ashley. Her big brown eyes took everything in—studying, appraising, nothing judgmental. Just collecting data.

Ashley took Lila's hand, the same dimpled fingers that loved to rub her Daddy's stubble. Her skin was so pristine, no signs of age, so fresh and new. Innocent. How could her mother have left these tiny hands behind? How could she have walked away from this sweet face? Perhaps that only underscored what pain Elle must have been in. And could Ashley ever fill the void that was left behind? Or would she spend her days feeling as though she would never measure up?