The Changelings (War of the Fae: Book 1) (2 page)

"Okay, whatever.
 
Just stop bothering me."

Even though this verbal sparring was fun, I was getting nowhere.
 
I decided to get down to business.
 
I had to let him know I wasn't a bully – just a socially inept girl trying to make friends with a nerdy dude in rubber-soled shoes.

"Hey, Tony, when you saying 'bothering' do you mean 'bothering' or 'bullying'?"
 
I could see he was going to turn around so I put on the most innocent face I knew how to make.
 
I tied it up with as sheepish a grin as I could manage too, just in case my innocent look wasn't as awesomely powerful as I thought it was.

He didn't say anything at first; he just looked at me.
 
For the first time in our relationship I started to feel uncomfortable, which for me is saying a lot.
 
I began squirming in my seat a little bit and felt my smile faltering.
 
I realized as he looked at me that I really, really didn't want to be bullying him.
 
Tony was a cool dude, and it was possible I was the only one in the whole world who knew it.
 
And it was also possible that he was the only person in the world who knew I
did
give a shit about some things.
 
He was a perceptive dude.

"You're not bullying me, and you're not really bothering me either ... Jayne."

It was the first time I'd heard him say my name.
 
I guess I was a little surprised that he even knew it, though I shouldn't have been.
 
We'd been in this class for almost the whole semester.
 
It was the look on his face, though, that blew me away.
 
He looked so friggin' serious, staring me right in the eyes.
 
I felt like he was seeing into my head.
 
My smile came back, but it was totally real this time.
 

I grabbed my pen and started twirling it in my hand.
 
"Well that sucks, 'cause I was kind of enjoying bothering you."
 
Being a total smartass when in tight situations is one of my best skills.

"I could tell.
 
So now that you know you're not bothering me, you can stop."

"Stop what?"

"Stop bothering me," he said as he started to turn back around in his seat.

"Okay, that makes perfect sense.
 
So when are we going to hang out?"
 
I expected him to do his usual – turn bright red and refuse to answer me, but he surprised me this time.

"How about today?" – still with the red face and neck, and only a little bit of the shoulder hunching that always gave him the appearance of a turtle going into its shell.
 

"Don't you have chess club or computer club or calculus club or build-a-robot club or some other rule-the-world-someday club to go to?"
 

While I waited for his answer, the teacher arrived in class to start the show.

Tony turned sideways, pretending he was getting a book out of his backpack.
 
"Chess club, but I'll skip it."
 
He pushed his oversized glasses back up on his nose as he sat up, turning to face the front of the class.
 

Did I mention Tony has the butt-ugliest, brown tortoise-shell glasses you've ever seen?
 
They are not cool or fashionable, even in a statement-making sort of way.
 
I swear he must have gotten them from the dumpster outside of Goodwill.

"Wow, living on the edge ... sure you can handle it Tones?"

He sat up straighter than I was used to seeing him sit.
 
"I can if you can," he whispered.

"Fine.
 
I'll meet you at the front of the school after seventh period.
 
Oh, and by the way, I saw that."

"Saw what?"

"You smiled ... I think you like me."
 
I was staring at his back, but I swear I saw his scalp move.

"No I didn't, and no I don't."

"You don't?"

Sigh.
 
"Jayne, shut up before you get me in trouble."

I smiled and stage-whispered, "Boooooring."
 
But I left him alone for the rest of the period, sure he was anxious to bust out his notebook and take some awesome notes.
 
I had tattoos to draw anyway.

And so
The Year I Adopted Tony Baloney As My New Best Friend
commenced.
 
Every day since we have hung out after school.
 
I've harassed him in every class I could.
 
The following semesters we even tried to arrange our classes so we'd have a lot of them together.
 
Apparently he'd grown quite fond of my harassment and persistent nature – not that I'd given him much choice.
 
I'd found him, and he was mine – cute little bugger that he was, messed up glasses, funky shoes and all.

***

As I arrived at the assistant principal's office and took my seat in the waiting area, I started thinking about all the time Tony and I had spent together these past two years.
 
We hung out after school and got to know each other's screwed up families pretty well – my mother who couldn't think for herself and her asshat boyfriend, and Tony's parents who were almost never around.

Most of our time was spent walking around town and hanging out at the library where Tony tried to study while I found new ways to make him crazy by not studying and making noise.
 
Every once in a while we went to the movies, but usually we couldn't afford it.
 
Tony wouldn't even consider sneaking in or trying to see more than a single movie on one ticket; he was a spoilsport that way, but he kept me out of trouble so I didn't complain.

Some people say it's impossible for a guy and a girl to be best friends, but I completely disagree.
 
Tony and I are friends and that's it.
 
I didn't like him in a romantic way – I preferred the bad boy type and Tony was as far from being a bad boy as I was from being a good girl.
 
I mean, what girl doesn't go for the bad boy really?
 
Actually, most of the guys I knew around school were idiots with their heads so far up their butts I couldn't stand to be around them for very long.
 
They had a lot to learn about how to treat a girl, and I didn't have the patience to train any of them.
 
Case in point, Brad Powers, who was also sitting in the principal's waiting area; only he was probably there to kiss the principal's ass, not to be chastised by him.
 
I barely spared him a glance.
 
He had a rep for being a total douche to girls – using them and then throwing them to the curb.
 
He was a kiss-and-tell kind of guy, if you know what I mean.

That's one good thing I can say about Tony – the guy is an absolute prince.
 
He always holds doors for girls, pulls out chairs, offers them drinks and stuff.
 
I don't think I've ever heard him burp.
 
All this time hanging out with me has somehow not trained the manners out of him.
 
I'm not sure how that's managed to happen really.
 
You'd think my powers of persuasion would be stronger than that.
 

Tony has his crushes, but he would rather walk over hot coals than actually ask a girl out.
 
He prefers to crush from afar.
 
I offered to help hook him up a few times, but the thought of me being involved in his love life nearly sent him into apoplectic spasms that were frightening to watch.

I did try once to get a girl I knew he liked to warm up to him.
 
It was a disaster from the word go.
 
As soon as I mentioned his name she got a disgusted look on her face.
 
"Tony?
 
Tony Green?!
 
Are you
kidding
me?"
 
She just stood there with a look on her face like she'd smelled something bad.
 

"Um, yeah, okay, never mind."
 
I realized it wasn't going well so I bolted.
 
I saw Tony later and confessed, although I left out the hairy details.

"You did WHAT?!"
 
His face turned an interesting shade of reddish-purple and got all blotchy; even the whites of his eyes got a little red.
 

"Dude, chill.
 
I didn't tell her you like her or wanted to get into her panties or anything."

"Wha ... ? Panti ... ? Wha ... ?
 
ARRRRrrrgggg!"
 
The strangled noises coming out of his throat didn't sound good.
 
He bent over slightly, grabbing the door of his open locker, probably to keep himself from falling on the floor.

"Dude, holy shit what is your problem?
 
Breathe already, she's just a girl for chrissakes."
 
I started beating him on the back, hoping to get him breathing right again.
 

His reaction struck me as over the top, especially for Tony.
 
It crossed my mind that I could possibly be witnessing some psychological scarring happening right before my eyes.
 
I did feel a measure of guilt over the fact that it was me who had caused it, but I assuaged this guilt by telling myself I was only trying to help the poor guy.

He was breathing deeply, trying to get a grip on himself.
 
He elbowed my whacking hand off his back and stood, running his fingers through his hair until it stood on end.
 
This was nothing new for Tony, as his hair was usually in a state of disarray.

"Do I even want to know what she said?" he asked, the look of hope in his eyes too pitiful to look at.
 

I sighed.
 
"Not really, dude.
 
She is too stuck up to even see you.
 
I'm actually thinking about going back there and punching her in the face."

He looked stricken, his face now going white.
 
"That bad, huh?"
 

I was afraid he was going to do that crazy breathing thing again.
 
I put a serious look on my face.
 
"No, actually.
 
She just said your name; like, repeated it.
 
She didn't say anything else.
 
I just took off – I started thinking about the spasms you'd have if you found out I'd done it, and I got scared."
 

Tony knew my serious look was a load of crap.
 
"You?
 
Scared?
 
That'll be the day."
 
He closed his locker quietly, because Tony never slams his locker shut.
 
"Let's go, we're gonna be late for class."
 
He sounded really, really tired.
 
Or bummed.
 

I felt like crap.
 
Now I really wanted to punch that chick in the head, and I'm generally not a violent person.
 
I talk tough, but I'm all talk and no action usually.
 
I had to do something, though, to get him out of this mood.

"Oh boy,
biology
, hold me back.
 
Tony, I'm so excited, I feel like
skipping
to class!"
 
I grabbed his elbow and started skipping, dragging him along a few feet before he was able to wrestle himself away from me.
 

"Suit yourself!" I yelled as I continued to skip my way through the crowds, annoying a few people on my way, no doubt.

"Skipping in a crowded hallway is antisocial, Jayne!" he yelled out after me.

"Perfect!" I yelled back.
 

Poor kid – thought he was gonna shame the maniac out of me.
 
He should have known that was never going to work.

Just then the assistant principal opened his door, interrupting my reverie.
 
He smiled at Brad who returned the smile and gave him a knowing look.
 
Then he turned his head and saw me, scowling in recognition.
 
Perfect.
 

I tried to duplicate the look Brad had given him just for fun, but I'm sure my humor was totally wasted on this guy.

"Jayne Sparks, what a surprise.
 
Come into my office and sit."

Just another day of lame ass high school.
 
All I could think about as he blathered on and on about responsibility and respect was:
When am I finally going to get the hell out of this place?

***

I met Tony in front of the school after seventh period so we could walk home together.
 
He lived two streets over from me, less than two minutes on foot.
 

"How'd your meeting with Principal Matthews go today?" he asked.

"Why fine, thank you so much for asking," I answered brightly as I kept walking.
 
Fast.
 

Tony struggled to keep up with me, carrying his normal hundred pounds of books and wearing his ugly ass Frankenstein shoes.
 
"Stop screwing around Jayne, did you get suspended or not?"

"Nope.
 
Just lectured until I wanted to stab myself in the eye with my pen.
 
I actually prefer a suspension – otherwise known as a mini-vacation."

"Well, you're lucky.
 
Anyway, I have news ...
big
news."

I immediately stopped, since Tony never said he had big news ...
it must be really big
, I thought.
 
My unexpected stop caused him to bump into me.