The Chromosome Game (20 page)

‘So they fix it up ahead of time with the FlipFlop so they get the rest of the newsflash later — and what a news flash. Kelda and I don’t sugar the pill with each other, we talked real frank about the Ice-Cube deal.’

‘Eagle heard Sladey’s team on this topic when they slunk out here, that what you think?’

‘Must’ve. Going back to Tortureday then … Once they’d taped Kelda and me, they move the mike
back
. To the laundry chute. Why? — In anticipation of our holding a further meeting?’

‘Correct. They could have had no other motive.’

‘Then they spread the gospel — and
what
a gospel, Krand! Sladey would delight in whipping up neat terror among the rest of the community. Just his speed … It’s affected them, no doubt about that. Of course, Kelda planned to break it to them gently, by stages —’

‘— I know all that but we missed something, Trell. And we can’t yet know how important it is.’

‘You back on the meeting up top?’

‘Yes. Ship’s Log. You read something out loud. They would have heard it.’

‘Check! The map reference. But none of them can have any idea what it’s about because we didn’t either.’

‘They might figure it out first if they get back in there.’

Trell cursed. ‘I wish I’d been through the logs right then.’

‘No time.’

Krand stopped, gazed unseemingly toward
Kasiga
. A single light showed near the outlet for the hoist. ‘I went up there tonight. To the Laundry Chute. I know exactly how we left the logs: they were in a neat row on top of the vacuum pump … a row of five, right? — Numbered in sequence and stored in sequence. Trell, I checked that place out when we left, after the meeting. I know how to count up to five. How come they were out of sequence tonight?’

‘So whoever bugged us —’

‘— either knows what that map reference means already, or is keen to find out. Trell, I think we should move the logs out of there.’

‘Yes, we better. Did you put them back in sequence?’

‘Yes.’

‘Good thinking.’

‘And we have some more thinking to do, Trell … Two items; one of them easy for me to say, the other … not so easy.’

‘Then for Pete’s sake open with the beginners’ diet, Krand, so I have a chance to prepare my digestion for the tough one.’

‘It isn’t even a hunch, it just bothers me. Sakini and Inikas, Well … You know how they’ve gone even more nuts about tennis —’

‘— I know they’re driving Hallow even more nuts from watching them, Krand. His eyes look like tennis balls already. He’s so pale Vitamin B couldn’t fix him up.’

‘Yeah? Anyway, the twins went to the Viewing Room and started calling up holograms of their favourite tennis stars —’

‘— the moving ones?’

‘That’s right. The idea was to run the thing in slow motion, watch people like Nastasi serving.’

‘And?’

‘Well, it worked all right but the projected images are hovering in mid-air. I mean, how do you watch Nastasi’s footwork if his feet don’t touch the ground?’

‘Probably the lasers are out of line.’

‘Hallow says he tried to adjust them but you can’t move them far enough.’

‘Trust Hallow to be around for that crisis!’

‘Trell, what bothers me is why I am raising such a trivial point in the dead of night. I mean, who the hell cares if Nastasi’s feet don’t touch the ground
now
, in this day and age? … From what I gather from reading about tennis, they never did.’

‘And yet you can’t leave the problem alone? I know the feeling … I’ll look into it. What’s the other sore point?’

‘I’m coming to it real sudden.’

‘You do that.’

‘You’re only half Aryan.’

‘What’s the other half?’

‘Jew. And that’s official. Nembrak twisted it out of the computer. Sladey’s charming PTA group already know.’

‘Okay. What is a Jew?’

‘That’s what I don’t know.’

‘So whatever a Jew is, that’s what I am.’

‘Half of you.’

‘Well, I guess you can’t saw me in two, Krand.’

‘Thought you’d better know. Might lead to … complications.’

*

Sladey stopped Kendip The FlipFlop in the corridor.

‘Yes, Sladey?’

‘Kendip, when is a Captain not a Captain?’

Kendip never knew whether Bigtime-Sladey was joking or not. Intimidated by the sardonic lilt and the fey, round-the-houses mode of speech, he invariably substituted a cringing smile for any meaningful expression until the safety-rope was taut. ‘I’m … not sure, Sladey … I mean —’

‘You mean you’re frightened of committing yourself in case the answer does not please me?’

Kendip tried to conceal a childish gulp. ‘I guess the answer is: When he’s ashore!’

‘Super. You shall receive the Order of the British Empire retroactively, of course, since no empires — British or otherwise — have been in existence any too recently.’

‘
Is
he ashore?’

Yes, our revered Jewbaby is taking a stroll in the moonlight, while the boring Kelda remains bye-byes.’ Sladey’s tone of voice abruptly changed. ‘Now fetch Scorda. Don’t just stand there like a jackass. Get him!’

‘Yes, Sladey.’

‘
Yes
Sladey
… That’s the spirit. Run along, now …

‘… Ah, ’tis Scorda. Prompt as a postman — even if your pyjamas are a bit ludicrous.’

‘They’re the only ones I’ve got.’

‘Well, I’d be the very last person to suggest you take them off … Scorda, the monk and the nun are not in session; the monk is ashore; the nun is getting its beauty sleep.’

‘You think of them like that? — a monk and a nun?’

‘One mustn’t be influenced by their procreative activities. They’re agonisingly in luuuv, which is pretty nauseous since they make such a production of demonstrating it, they think they invented fucking and all that jazz, but basically she’s a Puritan and fundamentally he’s an Orthodox Yid. Add them together and you get a very tedious platter of corn on the cob … a monotonous diet indeed.’

‘So what do you want to get me out of bed for?’

Sladey’s eyes shot upward, beseeching his Maker to bestow upon Scorda the germ of cerebral activity. ‘Scordaboy, you’re the one who started getting your knickers in a twist about the shortage of food supplies … and what knickers they turned out to be! — all stripes and no pyjamas.’

‘Okay, so lay off my pyjamas.’

‘Tut-tut, so sensitive … Well, you and I, we had a little talk — did we not? — about what we heard on that cassette. We heard lots and lots of things about us — wasn’t that thrilling? — but we also heard a map reference, Scorda. A map reference.’

‘In the ship’s log.’

‘Quite. It didn’t appear on the breakfast menu. And, forsooth, we checked the log rather more carefully than did the saintly duo, and their lot. What do we find? — A cache of supplies, Scordaboy:
Din
-
dins
. Didn’t you realise what it meant?’

‘But … Won’t we have plenty of food, now we’re ploughing up the land?’

‘This is no time to tell you about fertiliser, Scorda, since it might upset your sensitivities. Enthusiastic though our tireless colleagues are — relentlessly muck-shifting for the sheer joy of flexing their proud young muscles — if they manage to grow so much as a bunch of primroses I’ll personally open the Chelsea Flower Show and pin rosettes on their behinds — or wherever they so choose.’

‘Nothing will grow?’

‘Not without a miracle. And since miracles are restricted to those sickly movies — with heavenly choirs thrown in
compris
— you and I and the rest of the more practical-minded team must perform one of our own. It behoves us, therefore, to build a boat; and to make it go hurtling along we borrow the spare tractor engine, which is somewhere or other not very far from the Hoist Area. We shall, in other words, hoist ourselves by
their
petard. Isn’t that rather pretty?’

‘Okay, let’s stick to the deal: We use the spare tractor-engine for the boat. And we park the boat … where?’

‘Up the creek — I speak not figuratively but literally.’

‘Which creek?’

‘The one round the bend — I speak not —’

‘Cut that out. How far upstream?’

‘I’ve drawn a map … You see this section of the river, where it curves round towards the mountains? … Well, Scorda, there must be a fissure —’

‘— a … ?’

‘Oh, dear. The rock underneath the water must have been split at some time, kinda sorta lika earthquake.’

‘These are contours?’

‘Excellent, Scorda. Teacher is pleased.’

‘Well, if you’ve got your contours right, then this means that the river runs in a deep cutting —’

‘— which cannot be seen, my dear fellow, from the plains.’

‘Won’t people go up that far fishing?’

‘Well, the difficulty is, there aren’t any fish.’

‘Sladey, I heard Krand say that as soon as he’s got one of them horses trained —’

‘—
those
horses —’

‘—
any
horses, Sladey, he’s going to ride right up to the Alps, so he might see us, don’t you think?’

‘We must be careful little boat-people, Scorda.’

‘More than careful — I heard there’d be two of them riding.’

‘Who’s the other?’

‘Helen-043.’

‘Well, well! That rules out Krand as a potential beneficiary regarding anything we can manage by way of caviare —’

‘— Maybe Krand just wants a fling with a nigger-girl for the kicks, I mean like it’s a temporary hang-up —’

‘Scorda, whether it’s temp-or-ar-y or not, or whether he thinks she’s an aeroplane, Krand is
out
.’

‘But he’s —’

‘He’s what, Scorda? — a nice, big, strong greek god?’

‘I don’t see what you’re getting at.’

‘Good. Now, this map-reference. You sure you got the location exactly right?

‘I copied it direct from the log.’

‘And did Scordaboy think to remove the requisite page?’

‘I didn’t like to risk tearing it out.’

‘Well, you don’t
tear
it out, Scorda. You undo the binding and very carefully you remove both that page and the opposite page in the section.’

‘Why?’

‘Why? — Because if we pinch an engine, and the heavenly couple get wise to it, they might suddenly ask each other: Why no engine? And they might think, good gracious me, there might be hidden supplies someplace, and, odds bodkins, the clue might be in the ship’s log. At the first opportunity, Scorda, I shall visit that unseemly garbage disposal unit and r-r-remove the evidence. And that opportunity is right now.’

‘Sure … Could you move your hand a bit, Sladey?’

‘My hand? … Christ, aren’t we anxious!’

‘I said, move it, Sladey.’

‘Where would you like me to put it?’

‘Just keep it to yourself.’

‘Scorda, we must find you a psycho-analyst among those busybody auto-nurses. Have you never seen astronauts at the pictures, caressing each other with such tantalising devotion?’

‘Well, you ain’t no astronaut.’

‘Very true. However, not to worry, really you mustn’t, because people might get to think you’re neurotic, and that would never do. I just thought we were pals: and you know what? — We are, Scorda. We are.’

‘Just don’t prove it so much.’

*

Kelda whispered, ‘So you’re part Jew. And what is a Jew?’

‘Some kind of a recessive gene. They were developing a master race. Something went wrong and they got me.’

‘Wrong? If you’re what’s wrong, who is what’s right?’

‘Anyone pure Aryan.’

Her voice hardened. ‘Sladey. Is he pure Aryan?’

‘I wouldn’t be too prejudiced on his account. Sladey is Sladey — Jew or Gentile.’

‘Sladey-555? — the Master Race? Oh, boy!’

‘Shhh.’

‘I won’t shhh.’

‘Look, were talking about racial categories. Up at the meeting we described Eagle as being of Red Indian descent; Milem and Helen and people: black. See?’

‘No, I don’t see! Compare Sladey with Nembrak the Inventor. Am I supposed to accept they have anything in common?’

‘They’re both Aryan. Look, let’s quit this —’

‘— I’m not gonna quit! Mendra has dark skin. Is she —’

‘She’s considered okay because she comes from Provence and tans easy.’

‘It must be a hairline decision. I have green eyes. Do pure Aryans have green eyes?’

‘Optional. Angels have them, too.’