The Collected Works of Chögyam Trungpa Collected Works: Volume Two (68 page)

As long as we have awakened to the attitude of heroism of the bodhisattva’s way, we are going to proceed along. We are not going to rest. Even when we do rest, it is part of our journey. If we are not walking but resting, that is only to regain further energy to walk. As long as there is a sense of ongoing process rather than wanting to stay in the snugness of self-indulgence of ego’s neurosis, there is a constant journey taking place.

That constant journey demands certain requirements. Various skillful means are necessary. These skillful means come along as we feel we need them. On the whole this is the result of our commitment to the teachings. We feel one with the teachings as we feel one with our body. Because we feel one with our body, we feel what our body needs. Our body needs rest, shelter, clothing, food, drink. Similarly, because we feel one with the teachings, with all these skillful means and practices of the bodhisattva way, we feel intuitively what needs to be done. In other words, unless there is a sense of involvement with the teachings, complete identification with the teachings, whatever we try to do is like shooting an arrow in the dark. Most often it is ineffective, and it does not fulfill the demands we want to achieve.

On the whole we could say that the basic definition of the bodhisattva path is that sense of involvement and identification with the teachings. It is complete identification with the teachings and with life; complete identification with bodhisattva, with buddha nature, with the paramitas, and with the spiritual friend. There is something
real
about the whole thing. You are not afraid to get into it, to latch on to it.

Identification with the teachings is an important point of the bodhisattva path and the teachings of mahayana. It is not that you have to be smart so that you can choose which item is the best to have. At the same time, it is not based on blind faith either. Instead, you feel what you
need
, and you
involve
yourself in it. The mahayana is based on a sense of sympathy toward oneself, compassion toward oneself. If you don’t relate with your body, with your basic being, so to speak, there is no sympathy to your being. Without sympathy, you would purely be involving yourself with a fantasy dream world, rather than actually experiencing what needs to be done—which is a very intelligent act rather than an act of blind faith.

That seems to be the summary of mahayana practice: complete identification with the teachings. Bodhichitta is implanted in your heart. Therefore, you are the embodiment of bodhichitta, the awakened state of mind. Your creation, your being is bodhichitta. You are no longer dealing with foreign elements coming from outside; you are awakening your intelligence as you go along. Your intelligence becomes greater and greater, more and more powerful. It begins to eat through the skins of ego, the layers and layers of ego-manufactured walls and barriers. That’s why the idea of
awake
rather that
saved
is important in the bodhisattva approach.

D
ISCUSSION

Cynicism and Frivolity

Student:
You have emphasized maintaining a cynical attitude. When we choose the bodhisattva path, do we give that up, or is giving that up blind faith?

Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche:
Giving up cynicism is blind faith. When you develop an intelligent attitude as to what you definitely need, the frivolity of what you may not need but you think you need could be stripped away by a cynical attitude. Once you identify with the teachings, you begin to know what would be best and what would be a frivolous thing to do. As you go along, there will be successive frivolous mentalities happening—and you could cut those down.

Pushing or Not Pushing

S:
There seems to be a very strong desire to confirm the reality of the teachings, to have a glimpse that it actually happens. You want it to be true so much that the desire itself can become an obstacle. That desire could be an expression of the
lack
of faith in the teachings. So it could be an expression of faith in the teachings
not
to push on all the time.

CTR:
Even if you decide not to push, you are still making a forward journey. It is like changing your car tire when you have a puncture. That is also a part of the journey you are going along. So it’s the same thing.

Mirroring

S:
Rinpoche, what is the difference between the way the sangha, the people we are living with, become mirrors to us and the way you represent a mirror to us?

CTR:
I don’t see any difference, particularly. In the case of your own friends, even if something reflects back on you, you may not believe that it is the real mirror. However, when you work with the teacher, you feel that the mirror must be a more profound one. But in actual fact, it is the same thing. It is a question of how much you are open to it.

S:
When you are dealing with your friends, the question arises of your trips and their trips. It is different than with the spiritual friend, where you have the confidence to say, “It’s
your
trip.” You don’t have to try to sort out this trip and that trip.

CTR:
I think that’s a matter of opinion, actually. It’s like going to a surgeon who is your relative or going to a surgeon who has nothing to do with you. The surgeon who is your relative might have a personal concern about you, so he might make a mistake. So you go to somebody who is impersonal to you instead.

S:
In dealing with our friends, it seems necessary to consider their trips in terms of the mirror reflection.

CTR:
I suppose it’s a question of what part is your version of them bouncing back on you and what part is really their true nature.

True Nature

S:
Rinpoche, what do you mean by their true nature?

CTR:
Their true nature is different from your version of them. The true nature of the other person may be an act of neurosis, of frivolousness, or whatever.

S:
When you are relating to another person, is their true nature their buddha nature, or is their true nature the way they manifest themselves? Is their true nature what is there beyond their hostilities and aggression, or is their true nature just their trips? Is it the way they are, their style, their buddha nature, everything?

CTR:
I think of true nature in terms of their neurosis as well as their insight. It’s their basic being. In other words, you don’t lay preconceptions on them. Therefore you could see their neurosis coming out of them as well as insight coming out of them—which is very hard to do.

S:
So their true nature is where they are at at the time, which you can’t possibly understand?

CTR:
Quite possibly you can’t—but there is a possibility that you might be able to do so.

Awareness and Vows

S:
I feel that I need awareness in order to keep the refuge and bodhisattva vows, but I see that I’m not aware. There’s always this haunting feeling that I’m not keeping the vows because I don’t have the necessary awareness. Are you saying that I should have faith that this awareness will come?

CTR:
You don’t have to develop awareness, particularly. As long as you see that you are
not
aware, that in itself is awareness.

S:
But that doesn’t help me work with the bodhisattva path. There isn’t any discrimination. I’m not aware enough to deal with situations.

CTR:
If you realize that you aren’t aware, that’s the whole point. You don’t have to catch yourself being aware all the time. You do not have to feel good or to feel that you are always a solid, balanced person—the idea is to catch yourself. You see that you are not aware, then you create a gap. That gap doesn’t necessarily have to be a good one; it could be a quite horrific one. Nevertheless, that gap in itself becomes very helpful because you begin to see that you are not aware of it.

S:
How does that help?

CTR:
It begins to break the chain reaction of speed.

S:
Does it let you become more aware after that?

CTR:
That is awareness.

Feeling the Need to Practice

S:
Rinpoche, you said that as you go along the bodhisattva path, you feel a real need for certain practices, like the paramita practices; so nothing is imposed on you. There seems to be a very fuzzy line in my head between an intellectual approach and the way needs appear in my mind. Things seem to be coming out of my mind, but I am not sure whether they are thoughts or the gap.

CTR:
Once you begin to analyze the nature of need, you are treating yourself and the teachings impersonally. I mean, we don’t have intellectual hunger when we want to eat food; we have real hunger. We actually, physically need food. So there is no room for analyzing. The whole thing has to be very straightforward and very direct. It has to be abrupt.

Recognizing the Gap

S:
Rinpoche, is recognizing the gap, the gap, or not recognizing it? Are you aware when it is taking place?

CTR:
You do have some awareness when it is taking place. It is like when you suddenly fall down: you have some sense that you fell down. But then there is another kind of awareness, which is confirming that gap. That comes much later.

Hunger for Dharma

S:
Rinpoche, where does hunger for the dharma come from? Does it come from something that happened in previous lives?

CTR:
It is a very real thing. You feel that you are inadequate and you need further strength at that given moment—and you pick up on it. It’s a very natural thing. Something is missing, and you want to fill the gap.

Identifying with the Teachings

S:
Rinpoche, could you talk a bit more about complete identification with the teachings?

CTR:
Identifying with the teachings means that the teachings are not regarded as belonging to the teacher alone, but they are also a part of you. That is precisely what is meant by the teachings being true. If they are true, basically, they should apply to you as well to the teacher. When there is a fire, the firemaker gets burned as well as the person watching the fire. So there is no
belonging
, as far as the teachings are concerned. They are not purely information, they exist as a living situation. So the teachings transcend doctrine. In this sense, the teachings have nothing to do with the technical aspects of the dharma—they are just reality.

S:
Could the same thing be said for the teacher?

CTR:
Yes. That seems to be the meaning of spiritual friend. The spiritual friend is a friend for all, rather than a friend for one particular situation or one particular person.

Body

S:
You said something about not trusting your body. I’m not sure what you mean by that.

CTR:
It’s a question of feeling that there is a natural organic situation happening. If you don’t relate with that, then your ground is lost, and you have no way of developing clarity. Body, in this case, is a sense of experience, real experience.

Pretending to Practice

S:
You said we should pretend as if we can practice in this way, but in trying to practice generosity, patience, or meditation, what happens is that you see your lack, that you are
not
really generous, patient, and so forth. You have this feeling of always being less than the teachings, rather than feeling you are up to it, or you can master it, or it is coming through you.

CTR:
As long as you begin to make everything solid and sure, I don’t think you can get anywhere. As you begin to realize your deception, that is another deception. So you have to trust your first perception of being a fool. You start by being a fool. You are giving away security, being a fool.

Paramita Practice

S:
Rinpoche, among the contradictions to the paramita of morality is not committing evil acts for the sake of compassion. Another contradiction to the paramita of morality is rejecting immoral people. Those seem to be extraordinary reversals of ordinary emotions and morality. Could you say something about that?

CTR:
From the hinayana point of view, or a very traditional idea of evil, such actions are evil. However, in the mahayana, if somebody is so highly involved with food that they have stashes of food stuck in their room, it is your duty to steal it from them. That is an evil act according to hinayana—you should not steal—but in the mahayana you are
supposed
to do that! It is some kind of a joke!

Actions and Impulses

S:
If you are angry, should you just be aware of that and have faith that it is all going to work out okay? Suppose you think it is harmful and you want to stop doing it—do you have any advice on skillful means for dealing with that, or for imposing some kind of discipline on yourself?

CTR:
If you have an impulse that you want to kill somebody, and you have faith that you are going to kill that person and it’s going to be okay—somehow that doesn’t work. The very act of killing somebody is a cowardly thing to do. You can have faith in your anger—but you don’t have to kill somebody, particularly. That anger is a self-contained thing, so going as far as murdering somebody doesn’t apply. The point is to have faith in the basic being of the anger, rather than having faith in the impulse.