Like any meal anywhere in the world, it’s not complete until dessert is served. And the British are no different; in fact, the Brits are wild about their desserts and tend to ladle creams and custards on almost all of them.
Keep in mind, however, that England does not have a reputation for its food. At least, it doesn’t have a
good
reputation for its food. If you want great food, you go to New York or Paris or even Tokyo—you don’t go to London. That said, they do have interesting—and possibly even enticing—desserts and other treats. The ones that follow are routinely served in the wizarding world:
•
Chocolate gateau: Gateau
is “cake” in French, but in England, it’s more than cake … it’s a super-rich cake. Hence chocolate gateau is a rich chocolate cake, served in slices with fresh cream. Marie Antoinette is reported to have said “Qu’ils mangent du gateau,” which translates literally to “Let them eat cake,” but she meant “Let them eat rich, dense, creamy cake.” It’s a subtle difference (regular old cake versus a buttery, rich cake) but one important to cake connoisseurs.
•
Christmas pudding:
A plum cake or plum pudding served with a rich sauce. Often, there’s a coin baked in it for luck. You either love this or you hate it, and most American kids hate it, because plum pudding isn’t super-sweet.
•
Meringue:
Meringue is simply egg whites and sugar, but the dessert called “meringue” usually begins with a meringue crust (like a pie crust but made of meringue) that’s topped with fruit or other sweet fillings. Meringue cookies are becoming popular in the United States because they are fat-free, yet very sweet, treats.
•
Mince:
A pie made of mincemeat filling—apples, raisins, suet (beef fat), and sometimes (although not usually these days) chopped meat. It’s actually quite spicy and delicious and may be served cold with custard or clotted cream (in other words, any sweet, thick dairy product) or heated up and served with brandy butter.
•
Peppermint humbugs:
Hard candy flavored with peppermint oil. Like a candy cane in the United States, but striped black and white instead of red and white.
•
Pudding:
Pudding simply means “dessert.” Don’t think of American pudding, which is more like
custard
in England.
•
Spotted dick:
No, really. I’m not making this up. This confection sounds terrible, but it’s not bad. You start with suet, which is beef fat, rub that into flour and make it into a pudding, and then add dried fruit (usually currants, which is where the “spots” come from). Like most British desserts, it’s served with custard.
•
Toast and marmalade:
Toast and jam, except that marmalade is usually made with oranges. The Beatles made marmalade famous when they sang about “marmalade skies.”
•
Tart:
Like an individual pie; a crust is topped with fresh fruit, jam, cream, and/or custard, but if you top it with treacle (which is like maple syrup), it’s treacle tart.
•
Treacle:
Treacle is a syrupy topping, with a consistency something like corn syrup but usually made with molasses. Treacle fudge, then, is fudge made with treacle. Treacle pudding is a steamed pudding made with the syrupy topping.
Treacle tart
is a tart with treacle drizzled on it.
MAGIC TALE
In C.S. Lewis’s
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe,
the White Queen entices Edmund to betray his siblings with Turkish Delight (a British dessert that is never eaten in the wizarding world). In the story, Edmund goes through an entire box of Turkish Delight in no time flat. But if you try this confection, you may wonder why in the world Edmund would betray his siblings for that particular dessert. To understand what Turkish Delight is like, start with a sort of dense, chewy, not-so-sweet marshmallow, sort of like taffy. Now, top that with sprinkles, like the ones you might put on a cake: orange, chocolate, lemon, or a dozen other flavors. That’s Turkish Delight. For my money, you’d need a lot more than that to turn your back on your brother and sisters.
•
Trifle:
A many-layered confection that begins with sponge cake (sometimes soaked in rum or other liqueur), then fruit, then cream, and so on. If you really want to be decadent, you forego the fruit layers. Rather like our strawberry shortcake, but the cake is much spongier and mushier.