The Complete Rockstar Series (10 page)

E
llie

P
ounding
. No, it’s more of a banging. Wait… actually, it sounds like hammering. Yes, a constant hammering, that’s what I hear.

I force myself to sit up in bed and throw my legs over the side.
Crap.
I look down and see that I’m still dressed in my clothes from yesterday. That means I passed out while studying, again.

The insistent thumping noise snaps me out of my half-awake state. I finally put the pieces together and realize that someone is knocking at the front door and they’re getting impatient. I stand up and stretch, my body aching from another fitful night’s sleep. Exhausted, I trudge through the lounge to the door.

“Ellie! Are you in there? So help me you better answer the sodding door!” An obviously upset voice shouts from the hallway.

“Adam?” I’m still not completely awake and alert.

“Ellie? Open up, now!” Adam insists, his voice bordering on coming unhinged.

I quickly unlock the two dead-bolts and open the door. Adam rushes past me and spins around to face back the way he came, staring me down with a surly expression and darkened eyes.

“What the hell, Ellie? You don’t show up at school and you don’t answer the door? I’ve been standing out here for ten bloody minutes! I thought something horrible happened to you!” During his tirade, Adam alternates between pacing frantically back and forth across the small space, gesticulating wildly with his arms, and throwing angry glares my way.

I calmly shut the door and turn back to my visibly distraught boyfriend. Closing the few steps between us, I grab his flailing arm and fit myself under it, snuggling into his hard chest. “I’m sorry.” I snake my arms around his trim waist and lay my head against his chest. “I fell asleep studying. Last night was … hard. Mum was ill, she had to be up for an appointment today. Dad was taking her this morning so I stayed up with her…”

Adam silences me by letting go of his irritation and wrapping his arms around me, crushing me against his body. I can literally feel his anger dissipate as his stiff posture relaxes. He buries his face in my hair and exhales in relief. “I was so fucking scared, Sweetheart. Jesus, if anything happened to you, I don’t know what I’d do.” He brushes soft kisses over my neck, his warm breath caressing my ear.

Startled by his statement, I tilt back on my heels so I can see his face. “What do you mean if something happened to me? Why would something happen?”

Adam’s jaw ticks and his warm hazel eyes go cold, sapped of their usual life. I watch as the blood drains from his face, then rushes back to turn his cheekbones a deep scarlet. He releases me from his embrace and slides one hand into mine, tugging me over to the sofa. “Sit with me.” He sounds calm, but his twitching fingers and clenched jaw expose the truth. Adam is freaking out.

“What’s going on? You’re scaring me.” I plead with him to speak to me.

Adam shifts uncomfortably, twitching and fidgeting, obviously trying to collect his thoughts. His hand is still clasped in mine, his rough fingers gently rubbing my wrist. Whether the gesture is to keep himself calm or to keep me calm, I’m not sure.

“My dad came to see me last night,” he says, unable to meet my eyes as he relays what has him so on edge.

“Your dad? I thought he was gone?” I scrunch my face in confusion. Adam mentioned that his dad was a complete tosser, but not that he still sees him. I had figured that he disappeared a long time ago.

“No, he turns up from time to time. Usually to smack me or my mum around.” Adam clears his throat, faking indifference as he speaks. I see him swallowing to hide his emotions, his throat constricting and relaxing each time he does it. “Anyway, Dax was with me, and he sort of … well, he sort of knocked my dad out cold.”

I gasp, then I smile. “Wait, that’s good, right? He got what he deserved, Adam. You shouldn’t feel bad.” I try to make him see that this isn’t his fault, he shouldn’t have guilt for his horrible father getting injured.

Adam slowly turns to look at me, his handsome face, usually so happy and full of life in spite of the home he was raised in, is ashen and terrified. “No Ellie, it’s not good. He’s not a forgiving kind of guy. I can’t go back to my flat unless I want to wake up and find him standing over my bed with a knife in his hand. That’s why I never defend myself, or my mum. He wouldn’t hesitate to kill one of us. Plus, I hate being like him, a vicious, sadistic bastard that hurts people. I
refuse
to turn into that. But Dax? Dax has no problem with violence or fighting, and he just didn’t think. When you weren’t at school… I thought…I…”

“I’m fine,” I interrupt, squeezing his hand reassuringly. “He doesn’t know about me, right?” Adam nods, confirming my statement. “So what does this mean? Where will you go?” My heart is breaking for this gentle soul in front of me. He’s so adverse to bloodshed that he’s unwilling to use force against the man who beats him regularly and has been terrorizing him for years. Yet, that doesn’t make sense. He fought Callum for me, contradicting every single one of his beliefs.

Before I can ask about Callum, Adam speaks again. “I’m going to be at Dax’s place, but I can’t stay there long. My dad will know that I’m there, El. Dax and his brothers are huge and can take care of themselves, but I won’t bring my crap to his doorstep. His family doesn’t deserve it.” Adam shifts around so he’s angled towards me and takes both of my hands in his. “Ellie, we’re leaving sooner than we planned, me and Dax. We’ve moved up our tickets to Los Angeles to this Saturday.”

“But school’s not over for three more weeks.” I start to panic, scrambling to make sense of this rapid change in plans, to make sense of losing Adam, even if it’s only for a little while. The thought of being apart makes my stomach twist painfully. “I don’t understand, I can’t go with you on Saturday.”

“El, you can meet us there after school is over. I’ve bought your ticket.” He pulls an envelope out of his pocket and presses it into my hand, his intense stare never leaving my face. “You leave two and a half weeks after school gets out. That gives you time to finish your exams and pack some stuff and work out the scholarships. It’s only a few weeks earlier than you planned on leaving so it shouldn’t be too big of a deal. This way, my dad won’t see us together. He won’t have a reason to come after you to get to me.”

I stare at him blankly, my hand clutching the envelope along with Adam’s fingers that are still wrapped around it. We’ll be apart for six weeks. The thought of that sends a stabbing pain straight into my heart. “Okay.” I know we don’t have a choice. Adam can’t stay here and risk having his dad or any of his shady associates jumping him, and he won’t allow me to be a target for his dad because of our relationship.

Adam releases a huge breath that I hadn’t realized he’d been holding. “Thank you.” He finally shows me that heartbreaking grin of his. My heart flutters in my chest, pounding madly just from his gorgeous smile. He moves his hands to cup my face, pulling me in for a long, deep kiss, and I practically melt from his touch. His tongue pushes in insistently, tangling with mine, making a claim on me.

When Adam finally releases me and touches his forehead to mine, I’m breathless from his kiss. “Thank you,” he repeats, stroking my cheeks with his calloused thumbs. “It’s only a few weeks Sweetheart, then we’ll be together in a new place and start a new life.”

Adam tilts his head and kisses me again, his touch becoming more urgent, more desperate. His hands slide down my back to grip me tight, pulling our bodies together as he tries to get as close to me as he physically can. I reach for him, my fingertips brushing across the rough skin of his unshaven jaw.

“Adam.” My voice wavers, barely a whisper.

He stands and leads me to my room, closing the door behind us. “How long until your parents are back?”

The look he gives me sends tremors down my spine, his pupils blown so that the hazel is barely visible. “A few hours at least.”

Adam closes the gap between us, pulling off my shirt and throwing it to the floor. He grabs his own, tugs it over his head and wraps his arms around my waist, needing the feel of our skin rubbing together. The heat, the softness of my body against the hard planes of his.

“Jesus…” He takes my mouth in another passionate kiss. We break apart only long enough to shed the rest of our clothes and fall onto the bed. “I need you, El. I…”

“I know, Adam.” And I do know. I feel it too. I need the closeness of him physically, the connection of him moving inside me.

Adam’s lips follow the lines of my body, his light stubble scraping against my sensitive skin as he trails wet kisses over my breasts and stomach until he reaches the apex of my thighs. His tongue swipes over the delicate folds and the breath is sucked from my lungs.

“Adam…” My back arches and I fist the sheets, needing something to ground me as his touch sends me flying. He takes his time, exploring every part of me, bringing me to the brink of something impossibly perfect. “Oh God, oh God…” My voice is stolen when Adam’s tongue flicks over that sizzling spot one last time and I fall, brilliant white sparks flashing behind my eyes.

Panting, I open my eyes to see Adam kneeling on the bed, quickly rolling a condom on his hard length. His eyes meet mine and I shudder. He always looks at me as if I’m the sexiest woman on earth, like he wants to devour me and fill me up until we’re both sweaty and sated.

“El…” My whispered name is reverent, the love he has clear in just that one word.

Adam lays over me, brushing his mouth over mine, skimming his tongue over my lips, and enters me with one desperate thrust.

“God El.” His head drops to my shoulder as he chokes on his words. “I love you so much.”

My fingers caress his neck, finding their way into his hair. I tug on it to bring his mouth back to mine so I can whisper against his lips. “I love you, Adam.”

The kisses become insistent and we move, our sweat-slicked bodies finding the perfect rhythm. Our moans become louder, the words we say turn into unintelligible mumbling, and then… bliss. Electricity hums across my skin, every nerve ending exploding with pleasure. It builds up in my core and unleashes in a burst of ecstasy, my body thrashing and writhing as Adam thrusts to his own completion.

We lay tangled up in the sheets, my head on his chest so I can listen to the steady beating of his heart. Adam strokes my hair, pulling his fingers through it and sending shivers across my neck.

He presses a kiss to the top of my head. “It will all work out, Sweetheart.”

I want so badly to believe him, to have something I haven’t had in a long time. Hope. A future. A life worth living.

A
dam

T
he loud bass
wakes me from a fitful sleep. I’d never flown before yesterday, or maybe it was today. I can’t be sure, but I did find out that jet lag is a complete bitch. I couldn’t sleep at all on the plane. I was too worried at the thought of leaving Ellie behind, of not being there to make sure she’s safe, that by the time we landed twelve hours later I’d been up for twenty-four hours straight. I check the small digital clock next to the bed, midnight, and someone is in my flat, ready to party.

The past week has been the longest and the shortest one in my life. It seemed as if I didn’t have enough time with Ellie, between studying for her final exams and her mum’s illness, I was relegated to a few spare minutes in between everything. I took what I could get from her, greedy to spend our last days in her bed, wrapped around each other.

“Shut your bloody noise holes!” Dax yells from the bed next to mine, startling me. I whip my head around just in time to see him cover his face with a pillow. Dax can be a bit of a bastard when he doesn’t get enough sleep.

The music gets louder when someone opens the door to our room. “Hey idiots, come out here and meet everyone,” Hawke says. I can tell he’s already had a few drinks from the slight slurring of his words and his crooked grin, plus, he has a half-empty beer in his hand, which he finishes while waiting for our answer.

“We’re fucking tired, shit for brains!” Dax shouts, his voice muffled by his refusal to remove his head from under the pillow.

Hawke laughs and turns to me. “What about you? You coming?” he asks, pointing at me with his empty bottle.

I sigh and drag my hands down my face. There’s no way I’ll get any sleep with all of the noise on the other side of the door. I’ll probably just lie here and think about Ellie. I may as well get up and get my body adjusted to Los Angeles time, even though I feel as though I could sleep for days. “Sure, I’m coming.”

There’s a knock on the front door and the amount of noise in the main area of the flat doubles. I can hear the squealing of girls and the deep voices of guys that greet each other with back slaps and laughs. Great, it hadn’t occurred to me that Gavin and Hawke were the party-hosting type. Guess I should have asked before agreeing to share a flat with them, not that I’m not used to being constantly surrounded by noise. In my old flat, it was every single night, and it usually only ended when someone was silenced with fists.

I get up and leave the bedroom, ready to get used my new life and leave the crappy one behind. Even if I’m only surviving by counting down the days until El joins me here.

T
urns out Hawke’s
uncle is pretty good at his job. He got us booked into a bunch of bars around L.A. by playing a digital sampling of our work to different club managers. We’re able to make money playing our gigs, but divided four ways it’s barely enough to cover all of the living expenses. Apparently L.A. is just as expensive as London, and way more expensive than a craphole like Hackney.

I can only afford to ring Ellie every few days, the charges are too expensive for more. I glance at the clock for the millionth time today, knowing I’ll be speaking to El in a few more hours.

“Chill out Adam. You keep looking at that clock and I’m gonna knock your teeth out,” Dax growls. “Pay attention to rehearsal or we’re gonna look like a bunch of duffers on Saturday.”

We practice at Hawke’s uncle’s big house a few miles from our place. Hawke has his drums there and there’s a soundproofed room and everything. There’s something slightly odd about Hawke’s family situation, but I’m not exactly sure what it is except that he’s apparently been raised by his uncle. I can tell he doesn’t want to discuss it, so I never bother to bring it up.

“Easy for you to say, Davies. You’re getting laid left and right. My girl isn’t here yet, so sod off,” I scold him.

Turns out, Dax is a party guy too, we just never knew it until we moved to L.A., where the parties are over the top and happen every single night. Me? I’d rather have my girl here and go somewhere quiet together. Since she’s not here, I’ve become a party guy by default. Forced to interact with everyone that Gavin and Hawke invite over, and they invite over loads of people.

Dax shrugs at my statement. “I would tell you that you could get laid too, but I know you won’t, so there’s no point.”

I give him a look of disbelief and he raises an eyebrow back at me. “What? Cheat on Ellie?” I ask, making a disgusted noise. “Never, so you’re right. Don’t bother.”

He shrugs again and returns his focus to his guitar. I shake my head. No conscious, that one.

“Come on you two, cut the shit and let’s finish this. I have plans tonight,” Hawke calls out from behind the drums.

I smirk at him, “You have plans every night, Evans. Your social calendar is as busy as the King’s Cross station at rush hour.”

Everyone laughs and we get to business working on new songs to add to our set tonight.

I
t’s so
hot in the club that I have to keep using the hem of my T-shirt to wipe the sweat out of my eyes so I can see. I knew I should have gone straight home after the gig, but the rest of the guys wanted to go out, and Hawke had the only car. A taxi ride home would have cost a fortune, which I don’t have.

“Hey gorgeous,” a sexy female voice purrs.

I startle when I feel small hands caress my exposed abs. Dropping the edge of the shirt, I see a stunning blonde in a skimpy red dress in front of me, her arms extended under my clothes. She drags her fingers across my skin, following the line of my jeans to the button at the fly. Jesus, I start to get hard from the proximity of her fingers to my dick.

I shiver at the touch, and make eye contact with the girl. Blue. Her eyes are the same clear, deep blue as Ellie’s. The girl I love. The only girl I can ever imagine loving, even though I’m so angry with her right now that I could scream. Collecting my thoughts, which are slower than usual due to the copious amounts of alcohol coursing through my blood, I take the girl’s hands in mine and gently remove them from my hips.

“Sorry, love. Not interested,” I tell her, smiling to lessen the blow.

She tilts her head and looks at me curiously. “Are you sure? Because your body says you
are
interested.” She gestures towards the bulge in the front of my jeans and smirks.

“Definitely not interested,” I chuckle, “regardless of what my body thinks.”

“Well, maybe some other time,” she says, reaching out and sliding a finger over my lips before she turns and walks away.

I watch her tempting backside sway as her long, tan legs bring her back to her friends at the bar.

“Whoa! Couldn’t close the deal, huh Reynolds?” Hawke’s hand smacks my back and he doubles over with laughter.

“Hardly,” I scoff. And it’s true. In L.A., the girls are not only easier than they are back home, but they practically fling themselves naked at me and Dax because of our ‘sexy British accents’. “If I were single, my dick would probably light on fire and fall off from overuse,” I joke, throwing in a dark glare to let Hawke know I’m not in the mood for his jokes.

“I’m just kidding bro. Take it easy!” Hawke says. “She didn’t answer again, huh?” he asks, handing me one of the fresh beers he’s clutching in one hand.

I bristle at the question. “I don’t want to discuss it,” I snap, gritting my teeth together. Ellie hasn’t answered my calls the last three days in a row. She’s due to be here on Monday, just two days from now, and I haven’t spoken to her in almost a week, no matter how many times I’ve rung her. Hawke knows this, and he’s pushing me, and after a few drinks I’m thoroughly pissed off.

“Dude! No big deal! I’m just seeing how you are and I’m not doing a good job of it, obviously,” Hawke says, holding his hands up to calm me down.

“It’s fine, I’m just knackered. I shouldn’t be drinking when I’m this tired.” I rub my hand down my face. “If I could just reach her…” I stop, reminding myself that I don’t want to talk about it.

“Well, the good news is that my uncle called after we left the gig tonight. He’s got us booked into the Troubadour next month for two nights,” Hawke grins. “That’s why I was looking for you.”

“That’s brilliant,” I reply, a smile replacing my perma-scowl for the first time in several days.

“Yep, things are looking good for us, my man.” Hawke holds up his bottle, bumping it with mine. “Well, gotta find a nice hottie or two for tonight. Catch ya later!” He chugs his beer and disappears into the crowded dance floor.

“Hey sexy.” I see a tiny brunette in a dress so small that it must double as a tube top. She gets in my personal space and bumps my arm with her obviously fake breasts.

I sigh. These L.A. girls are so fucking grabby and desperate. It’s going to be a long two days waiting to hold Ellie in my arms. I guzzle down the rest of the beer that Hawke bought me and push the girl away in disgust.

My nerves are shot, I’m exhausted from lack of sleep and constant partying, and I’m drunk. Again.

I really need Ellie to keep me sane. Or else I may lose myself in this bullshit town.