The Complete Rockstar Series (8 page)

A
dam

“
W
here’s Ellie today
?” Dax asks me after our first class.

“I have no idea,” I answer. “She didn’t look ill yesterday, and couldn’t have rung me even if she were.” It’s not as if my mum is conscious enough to have a phone installed let alone pay the bill every month. Hell, I’m lucky to have heat and electricity, and that’s only because I live in council housing.

“That’s odd. You going to stop by her place after school?”

I think about it for a minute before making a decision. “Nah, I’m going now. I’m only at school to see her, so what’s the point of staying?” I punch Dax on the arm, “See you later?”

“Yeah, practice at six,” he says, grinning. “And Adam, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

Smiling, I shake my head, “She’s ill, idiot. What kind of bastard do you think I am?”

Dax busts out laughing. “The kind of bastard who used to be in anyone’s skirts who was willing!” He says as he takes off for his next class. Amused, I leave the school and head towards Ellie’s. If she’s not well, I can repay the favor she did me when she nursed me back from my stab wound.

My brother Danny still hasn’t caught the fuckers who jumped me, not that I talk to him all that much. He said I’m too ‘hot’ right now to run his drugs for him, and he doesn’t want anymore of his stash nicked. At least he promised to keep the pressure on Callum and Ryan to stay away from Ellie, I just have to slip him thirty quid a week.

Thanks for the sympathy, jerkoff.

Don’t worry that your only brother was nearly killed doing your dirty work. Bastard’s only worried about the drugs that they swiped off of me when their knife went into my side. My fucking family sucks.

Ellie told me her flat number once, thank God. Otherwise, I’d be knocking on every door in the building until I found her. It takes so long for her to answer the door that I’m about to give up. When she does, I think I die a little at the sight of her, all disheveled and red-faced, with tired, swollen eyes.

“Ellie?” I croak out, my heart pounding in fear. Something is wrong. Very, very wrong.

“Oh Adam,” she wails and collapses against me, sobbing uncontrollably.

“Ellie, you’re scaring me, Sweetheart.” I wrap my arms around her and lift her up, carrying her to the sofa and sitting down with her on my lap. I tuck her into my chest and breathe in her vanilla scented hair, feeling completely and totally helpless as she cries into my shirt.

“Please, Ellie. Tell me what’s going on,” I beg her. Sliding my hands up to her face, I tenderly pull her chin until she’s looking up at me. Her face is puffy and red, and her eyes are so swollen that she can hardly open them. “Please! I’m going mental here thinking the worst!” I run my hands up and down her body, looking for defects or broken bones or anything that would explain her level of distress.

She sniffs and wipes the tears away with the sleeve of her tattered jumper. “It’s my mum,” she cries, her voice on the verge of cracking. “She’s… she’s ill, Adam. Really ill.”

I need to swallow, but the lump that’s formed in my throat is too big to manage. It’s stuck there, uncomfortably large and painful. With my heart about to jump out of my chest, I trace a shaky thumb across her cheek. “What do you mean ill?” I whisper.

“Cancer,” Ellie says in a voice so low I can hardly hear her. “What am I going to do Adam? Dad works all the time and I haven’t got anyone else.” Her lip trembles and I can tell she’s about to start sobbing again. I lean forward and place a small kiss on her mouth.

“You have me.” I squeeze her tightly in my arms, feeling totally useless. I can’t make it better, all I can do is hold her and listen to her hitched breathing. We sit there for what seems like hours but is really only minutes, our foreheads pressed together, El straddling my lap with her arms around my neck and her legs wrapped around my waist.

To get more comfortable, Ellie shifts on top of me and I hiss at the friction it causes against my crotch. Her body is rubbing across mine intimately and I can’t control my reaction, no matter how inappropriate the timing is. She meets my gaze and I watch as her eyes drop to my mouth. She experimentally shifts again, pulling a deep groan from my throat.

“Ellie, what are you doing?” I ask hoarsely, my cock now uncomfortably hard and pressing painfully against the zipper of my trousers.

“I need you Adam. To feel close to someone, to you. I’m so alone.” She wiggles on top of me yet again, drawing another groan from my lips.

I can’t help myself. As wrong as this situation is, it feels so right to have her on top of me, fitting perfectly. I grasp her hips and drag her roughly across my lap, getting the deep pressure we both crave. When she gasps, I lose all control over my brain. I lower my head and kiss her feverishly, my senses so full of everything Ellie that I give in to the overwhelming need that I’ve been holding back these last few weeks.

Ellie kisses me back passionately, giving as much as she’s taking, tasting and exploring, her hands caressing up and down my back and into my hair. She pulls back to give me a nervous smile, then reaches down and tugs her shirt over her head, tossing it to the floor. My cock jumps in my trousers, trapped by the tight fabric that restrains me.

“Jesus.” I let my eyes drop, taking in her creamy skin, the soft curves of her breasts spilling out of the top of her blue satiny bra. Looking back up I see longing in her eyes, and sadness, which makes me falter. “Are you sure about this, Ellie?”

She answers by taking my mouth with hers, plunging her tongue in roughly as she writhes on top of me, her hands threaded through my hair to keep me close. Unable to question this, to hold back after weeks of being the good guy, of not pushing her innocence too far. My body takes over and leaves reason far behind.

I glide my hands up her silky smooth back, her skin so perfect and soft. Running my fingers back down the gentle curve to her loose sweats, I cup them under her and stand. Instinctually, she wraps her slender legs around my waist and clings tight, our kiss never broken.

“Which way,” I murmur against her mouth.

“Left, first door,” she breathes as her lips move down my neck, sending electric pulses down my spine. I bend down so I can blindly scoop up my school bag on the way to her room. Never stopping the frantic kisses that are driving us both mad with lust.

I toss my stuff on the bed and collapse next to it, skillfully maneuvering Ellie beneath me. Her hands drift down the muscles of my back to find the hem of my T-shirt. She yanks it up, forcing it between us so she can get it off. I kneel so I can reach behind my neck and help her, ripping the shirt off and throwing it aside.

Ellie props herself up on her elbows, skimming a finger across the jagged pink scar on my abdomen. Then she leans in and kisses it tenderly. She lays back down, pulling me with her, and slides her hands around to my shoulders to connect, skin on skin. When she digs her nails into my back, I nearly come in my pants, bucking involuntarily against her lithe body.

“Fuck, Ellie. What you do to me.” I groan into her neck as I lick her delicious skin. She tastes just as good as she smells. Pushing back on my arms, I trail wet kisses down her collarbone over to the edge of her bra, loving the quiet keening that comes from her throat. I glance up at her face one last time, making sure it’s okay for me to continue. Her head is thrown back and her eyes are closed. I watch as her tiny tongue pokes out to moisten her parted lips.

That’s a yes if I’ve ever seen one. I hook my finger into one side of her bra and tug it down, releasing a perfect pink nipple. “God Ellie, so beautiful.” I take the tight bud into my mouth and suck gently.

She squirms and bucks beneath me, moaning non-stop as I torment her. “Adam… more,” she pants as she grips my backside, grinding her hips against my rock hard cock.

“Fuck,” I hiss as I continue to lick and nip at her breast. Pulling down the other side of her bra, I pay the same attention to that one until Ellie is panting and thrashing beneath me.

“Now Adam, please.”

“You’re going to kill me, El.” I sit up on my knees and pull open a pocket on my bag to remove a condom that I keep stashed there and put it on the bed.

Ellie sits up, quickly shedding the rest of her clothes. When she lies back down, she’s beautifully naked, her chest heaving up and down with each breath. I kick off my shoes and socks and pull off my trousers and briefs, speechless as I take her in. Never having seen anything as stunning as Ellie Palmer, ready and willing to have me.

By the time I press on top of Ellie again, I’m sheathed and hard as steel. I pause, craving her so badly that my dick actually hurts, but I don’t want to take advantage of a weak moment, of using this to deal with her mother’s illness.

She can tell that I’m struggling to do the right thing. “Adam,” she whispers, putting her arms around my neck, pulling me fully down on top of her, my length cradled by her soft thighs, “it’s time. I want this. I want you.”

Groaning, I give in to my baser needs, letting my weight settle on Ellie. We slowly rock against each other in a tortuous rhythm as our mouths and hands express how we feel about each other.

When I reach down to touch her slick folds, her hips snap up in surprise. “Shhhhh, Sweetheart. Let me make you feel good,” I whisper against her mouth.

Ellie relaxes back into the bed and closes her eyes, absorbing every touch, every blissful rush of pleasure that I give her as my fingers slide across her wet slit. When she starts moaning and bucking into my hand, her face flushed, I know she’s ready. I line myself up with her entrance and slowly push inside.

The head of my cock breaches her opening and her eyes fly open at the intrusion, a mixture of fear and lust reflected back at me. I push further, causing her to cry out, biting her lip to contain the pain as I tear through her final barrier. She’s so tight I have to concentrate to keep from losing it the second her body wraps around my cock.

A single tear trails down her cheek as I take her virginity. I lean down and kiss it away, whispering in her ear as I begin to rock inside her. “The worst is over, let me love you, Ellie. Let me show you how much you mean to me.” It takes everything I have to keep my voice from cracking under the powerful emotions I feel for this girl. This is so different from anyone else I’ve been with, she’s important to me, we’re important together.

Her eyelids flutter open and my Ellie is back with me. The love I know that she feels for me reflects back in the deep blue of her irises. “Yes. Love me Adam.”

With Ellie, I do something I’ve never done before in my life. I gently, slowly, make love to someone who actually means something to me. It’s not shagging or fucking or getting off. It’s emotional and heart stopping and beautiful. When Ellie starts moaning and clawing at my back, reaching out for something to steady her as the unfamiliar ache begins deep inside, I know that her orgasm is near.

“Oh God, oh God!” She cries and whimpers as she gets closer to the edge of bliss. I thrust harder, faster, each of us moaning the other’s name as we both hover on the edge of the ecstasy that we crave, that will tie us together forever.

And then we fall.

A
dam

T
he loud slam
of the front door sends chills up my spine from where I sit in my bedroom. It’s pretty fucking sad when you pray that your crack addicted mum is the one coming home so you won’t get your arse kicked by your abusive, piece of shit dad.

The guitar in my hands feels like lead all of a sudden. I stuff down the nervousness and stand, placing the instrument carefully on the mattress. A low shuffling sound can be heard coming from the lounge and I let out a huge breath of relief. Dad wouldn’t bother to be quiet since he’s usually so drunk that he trips and smashes his way into the flat, shouting obscenities the entire time.

I walk into the lounge and see my mum, already passed out on the filthy sofa, not that she’s ever conscious enough to care about dirt. Or food it seems. She’s thinner than the last time I saw her, which has been a few weeks at least. How she ever raised me and Danny without killing one of us from neglect is a mystery.

She moans and turns onto her back before becoming deathly still again. I stand over her for a moment, watching to make sure her bony chest is still moving up and down. I’ve done this so many times over the years that it’s pathetic. Imagine a little kid having to make sure his mum is breathing? Who does that to their child?

I take a good look at her, a
really
good look. My mum looks bad, and that says a lot since she never really looks like anything but the addict that she is. Her long brown hair is dull and in need of a wash. She has dark circles under her eyes, possibly faded bruises but more likely from lack of food and sleep from the drugs. She used to be pretty, the memories I have are old and faded, but I can remember a few times when her face seemed to glow and her smile was bright.

Whatever. Those days are long gone. Angry, I head back into my room, grab my guitar, and shove it into its case, slinging it up on my shoulder. Then I get my bag and put a change of clothes and my toothbrush in it in case I have to crash at Dax’s tonight. When my mum shows up, Dad isn’t usually far behind. It’s easier to avoid him than stay here and get knocked around.

The walk to Ellie’s place helps to clear my head. I don’t want her worrying about my problems on top of all of the crap she’s going through. By the time I knock on her door, I’m able to be the Adam that I want to be for her, happy, smiling, and without a care in the world.

“Adam,” Ellie’s dad says as he opens the door. “C’mon in son.” He steps back and lets me enter the tiny flat.

“Hello sir.” I put my guitar and my bag down in the entry while he closes the door behind me. Ellie’s parents are great, the type of parents every kid should have. They always make me feel like I’m welcome in their home, no judgmental looks or scowls sent my way.

“Have you eaten anything, Adam? We have some dinner leftover.” Ellie’s mum gets up from the sofa and walks over to the kitchen, rummaging through the fridge. Even with cancer, feeling like crap from the chemo and her bald head wrapped in a colorful scarf, Ellie’s mum is a thousand times better than mine ever was.

“Ummmm.” I hesitate. I haven’t eaten much today, but I feel guilty letting Ellie’s parents feed me all the time. They must have figured out what kind of home I come from because they’re always trying to give me food in a way that doesn’t feel like charity. They’re pretty cool. “I don’t want to be a bother,” I tell her truthfully.

“It’s not a bother, Adam.” She pulls out different takeaway boxes and piles food onto a plate. Then she sticks it into the microwave to heat and gently shoves me towards the table. “Shoo, go sit. I’ll bring it over.”

“Hi.” Ellie joins me, taking the chair next to mine, resting her chin in one hand.

“Your mum seems better,” I whisper, taking Ellie’s free hand, threading her fingers through mine.

“Yeah, it’s been a pretty good day. They found a medicine that keeps her from getting sick as much.” She leans back and rubs her tired-looking eyes.

Before I know it, a plate of hot food is slid in front of me and a large glass of water appears. “Thanks Mrs. Palmer,” I say gratefully.

“You’re very welcome dear.” She pats my shoulder and smiles. “I’m going to have a rest. You two have fun and be careful.” She turns and disappears down the hall.

Ellie’s dad is watching the news, leaving us alone in the small kitchen area. The room is quiet while I scarf down my meal. Once I’m done, I wash the plate and turn to El. “Ready?”

She stands up and smiles, but it’s forced. Whenever we’re around her mum, it’s hard for her to be happy. “Let’s go.”

“
Y
our usual
?” I ask Ellie as she slides into a booth at our favorite hangout, a small coffee shop near our school.

“Yes please.” She gives me a bright smile and I can feel her watch me as I cross the busy café and place our order at the counter.

“Hi Adam.” I cringe at the sound of the girl on my left.

“Lucy,” I say banally, not giving her the satisfaction of looking in her direction.

She trails her fingers along the back of my hand and I bristle at the touch. “Fancy meeting you here,” she purrs.

I pull my hand back and glare at her. “I didn’t meet you here, Lucy. I’m here with my
girlfriend
.”

Lucy’s dark eyes narrow and she tilts her head towards Ellie. “You mean
that
girl? I have no idea what you see in her Adam. She’s so… boring. Everyone knows it won’t last. You don’t have it in you to be faithful.” Lucy shoots a sly smile in Ellie’s direction and I see Ellie’s cheeks redden in embarrassment.

“Here you go.” The barista places my drink order on the counter and goes to wait on the next customer.

Usually, I’m friendly towards the girls I’ve shagged, always portraying the easygoing, laid-back guy. It seems easier than being an asshole like Dax, but Lucy has shredded my last bit of patience in keeping up the act.

I turn and face her head on. The fury I feel must show on my face because Lucy recoils and her skin blanches. In a low voice I hiss, “Don’t ever speak to me about Ellie again. You have no idea what you’re talking about, so fuck off.”

Unable to stand near Lucy for another minute without doing something I’ll regret, I snatch up the coffees and stalk over to the table where Ellie is staring down at her hands, her face red with humiliation.

Fuck!

I hate that the girls at school make her feel like that. Never in a million years did I think that I’d regret my extensive extracurricular activities, but I do. Anything that puts that look on Ellie’s face was definitely not worth it, plus, I know that they give her a hard time at school. It kills me that it’s my fault.

“Here you go.” I place El’s cup in front of her.

“Thanks,” she mumbles, still staring down at her hands.

I squeeze in next to her in the booth and put a hand on her leg under the table. “I’m sorry about that, El. She’s a bitch and she’s jealous, that’s all that is. Please don’t let her get to you. You mean everything to me. Only you. Got it?”

Ellie looks up at me through her lashes, her mouth still pulled down in the corners. “I know, Adam.” She takes a shaky breath and smiles. “It’s hard to watch.” She shrugs and sips her coffee.

“If I could take it all back I would. You know that, right? I didn’t care about any of them, especially not Lucy. I don’t even like her.” I take her chin and tilt her head up until I can see those gorgeous blue eyes. “I love you, El. I’d do anything for you. Anything.”

She nods and attempts a small smile. I figure that she probably needs more time to accept the truth. I’m sure it’s difficult to believe that I only want her when my past indiscretions are constantly being flaunted under her nose.

I move slowly, deliberately as I lean in and brush my lips across hers. A faint whimper comes from her as we connect, so I deepen the kiss but keep it chaste enough that she knows it comes from love and adoration, not lust.

When we break away, she licks her bottom lip and her gaze locks with mine. “I love you too, Adam.”

I sigh and give her one last kiss. As long as she loves me, we can make this work, create something perfect together.

If I didn’t have Ellie, I’d have nothing.