The Complete Rockstar Series (39 page)

D
ax fully dressed is gorgeous
, stunningly so. Naked, I want to drop to my knees and worship at his feet. I’ve seen him shirtless before, so I know how cut and muscular he is, I just didn’t know how
big
he’d be in other places.

When Dax enters my body, tearing away the final shred of my virginity, I can’t help but cry out at the pain. It hurts.
A lot
. Then, before he can say anything to mollify me, the sharp agony turns to pleasure—a deep, burning, twisting pleasure that begins to build upon itself, growing more intense with each thrust of Dax’s narrow hips.

“More.”

Dax responds to my whispered plea immediately, roaring up and releasing my bound wrists so he has room to move. And holy hell does he move. Balanced on his hands above me, Dax pounds away at an impossible pace. I have to brace my hands on his shoulders so we don’t slide across the sheets with each powerful thrust. With the rapid pistoning of his hips and the intense pleasure vibrating through me, it’s nearly impossible to keep my eyes focused on his. Somehow I manage to stay locked on those dark, shimmering pools.

“Kate, I…” His face contorts with ecstasy, and I realize that I’m doing that to him.
Me
. Boring Kate Campbell is sending the cold and unapproachable Dax Davies flying into unrestrained bliss.

My entire body starts to shudder, waves of pleasure rippling out from the place where our bodies join together. I can’t breathe as it crashes over me, drawing my muscles tight in ecstasy then leaving me boneless as the incredible feeling recedes. I’m floating, and Dax is right there with me.

He lets out a string of unintelligible curses (Gaelic maybe?) and thrusts one final time before collapsing in a heavy, comforting heap on my chest.

Somehow, I manage to move my hands, running them up and down Dax’s sweaty back, feeling every dip and ridge beneath my fingers, trying to get my fill of touching everything he denied me earlier. After a few minutes, Dax shifts, causing me to wince when he pulls free of my body. It doesn’t detract from the moment though. Everything is perfect. My eyelids grow heavy and I’m vaguely aware of Dax moving around the room. Then I’m wrapped up in his arms, my back pressed against his large, warm chest.

I’m drifting off to sleep, on the edge of reality and dreams when I hear a soft whisper. “M’aingeal.”

K
ate

“
T
his is the last one
.” Dax drops a box on the floor of the bedroom in my new flat.

“We’re taking off, Kate!” Gavin calls out from the lounge.

“You guys are so great to help me move. Honestly, I couldn’t have done it without you.” I tell them as I walk down the tiny hall to say goodbye.

“No worries, love. Happy to do it,” Adam says. I wrap him up in a big hug.

I buss his cheek before I pull back to give Adam a quick once over. He looks much better than he did a few months ago when Ellie was in town. Not great, but better. He was completely devastated when I told him what he said to Ellie at that stupid party. He was so plastered he didn’t even remember seeing her. Having to tell him what happened with her was one of the worst moments of my life.

“Gotta split, Kate. Give me some love.” Hawke leans in to give me one of his bone-crushing hugs. He’s so open with me and the other guys, but around everyone else, he’s quiet and withdrawn.

“You know I live to be smashed to pieces in your arms, Hawke,” I laugh when he lets me go.

“I count on it.” He winks at me and disappears out the front door.

“Ugh! This is the last of my stuff too.” Abby staggers in, throwing a pile of clothes onto the second-hand sofa her parents gave us. “I’m beat!” She flops on top of the clothing, sweaty and exhausted.

“Coming with?” Adam turns to Dax.

“Nah. I’ll find my way back later.” He throws an arm around my neck, pulling me back against his chest. “I’ll stay here with my woman for a little bit.”

I roll my eyes, which makes Adam laugh, something he doesn’t do enough of these days. “Right. Cheers mate.”

The door shuts, leaving the flat blessedly quiet.

“Oh shit! Is that the time?” Abby jumps up from the sofa. “I have to be at work in thirty minutes,” she calls out from her room. Less than five minutes later, she’s saying goodbye and is out the door for her summer job working at a camp for low-income city kids.

I giggle, leaning back against Dax so I can rub my ass across the front of his athletic shorts.

“Naughty,” he laughs, gently spanking me. Dax whispers in my ear, his hot breath giving me goose bumps. “No more Lila.”

“No more Lila,” I agree. “And, I have my own bedroom now.”

Dax spins me around to face him, grinding his erection into my hip. “That’s my favorite part about this place.”

“So,” I say coyly, “want to go workout?”

He kisses me long and deep, and then slings me over his shoulder, giving my butt a playful slap as he strides toward the bedroom.

“I’ll show you a workout,” Dax grumbles under his breath.

Yeah, this is my favorite part. This summer is going to be brilliant.

D
ax

“
R
eally
? Are you having a laugh?” Adam asks Ross Evans, our manager.

I scan the room, checking the face of each one of my band mates. They all have the same shocked look that I’m sure I have on mine.

Ross smiles. “No Adam, I’m quite serious.”

I turn to Ross. “So, you’re saying that Underground Records wants us to sign us and have us go on tour with U2? The real U2, not some basement band cover rendition?” My expression must be comical because Ross starts laughing.

“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying,” he answers once he’s finally stopped making fun. “Just the U.S. part of the tour, not the European or other countries… yet. If they like what they see, who knows?”

None of us say a word. Gavin and Hawke are eyeing Ross dubiously, as if waiting for him to shout out “just kidding!” and claim the entire thing is a joke. Adam is staring intently at his shoes, his fingers scratching back and forth across his unshaven jaw.

I guess it’s up to me to break the silence. Standing, I hold my hand out to Hawke’s uncle, a man who has done everything in his power to get us noticed and apparently, it’s just paid off.

He shakes my hand, pulling me into a hug. “Thanks mate.” I slap his back a few times. “We couldn’t have done this without you.”

Ross releases me, the excitement on his face evident. “You guys are great. I’ve told you that before. It was only a matter of time until someone important noticed. Now they have and the only direction you can go is up. They want you in the studio right away to get an album released in time for the tour.”

The others finally get to their feet, excited and congratulating Ross and each other. I accept my handshakes and pats on the back with a smile. A bottle of champagne is produced, doled out to each of us in real crystal flutes. God, Kate’s going to freak out when she hears we’ll be touring with bloody Bono.

This is it. What we’ve been working for. Over a year slogging in tiny clubs up and down the California coast has turned into our dream.

I want to call Kate, but it’s better to do this face to face. I want to see the excitement on her face when I tell her. Adam and Hawke are chatting with Ross about the studio space we’ll be recording in while Gavin is on his own mobile speaking to someone.

“So, tomorrow, I’ll send out the recording schedule and give you guys all the information you’ll need. The phone number at the studio, your new producer’s phone and email, your contact at the studio, you’ll need that email as well…” Ross goes on and on about minute details when really I could care less. We’ll be making an album, going on tour, and living our dream—that’s what I care about.

K
ate

“
I
cannot believe it
!” My face is splitting in half I’m grinning so big. “You’re going on tour? With U2?”

Dax nods, his smile larger than any I’ve ever seen on his handsome face. I’m so proud of him and the other guys I could just burst.

“We are, angel. I want you to come with.” Dax pulls me into his arms, nuzzling his mouth and nose against my neck.

“Dax.” He places kisses up and down the sensitive skin, sucking my earlobe into his mouth. “God, Dax. I want to, but I can’t go on tour with you.” My breath is coming faster and heavier. I can’t think when he’s doing that.

“What?” Dax stops, pulling back to face me. “Why not? I want you there.”

“I want to be there. But you said it’s in four months. I have school, Dax. And it’s footy season. If I don’t keep my grades up and continue football, they’ll pull my scholarship.” My hands find their way under his shirt, using my thumbs to caress the skin on either side of his waist just above his low-slung jeans.

“But… I’ll be gone for six weeks.” His brows pull together and his beautiful lips turn into a frown.

I laugh. “You’re being silly, Dax. I’m not going anywhere. It’s good timing actually. I’ll be so busy with my studies and traveling to matches, we wouldn’t be seeing each other much either way.”

Still sulking, Dax thinks about it for a minute. “I don’t like it. I want you with me, Kate.”

Really?

Removing my hands from his skin, I cross my arms. “I’m not quitting school to go on tour with a rock band, Dax. So you’ll have to adjust. We have all summer, and then when you’re gone, we’ll talk every night and you can send me photos and text. Good thing you got me that mobile, yeah?”

Dax nods, but it’s stiff. He doesn’t like this at all. Stubborn, bossy Dax isn’t getting his way and he doesn’t know what to do. Did he really think I’d just give up my life to follow him around the country?

Taking another look at my sullen boyfriend I realize that yes, yes he did.

D
ax

F
our months
later

“
T
his is un-fucking-believable
!” Hawke exclaims as we head inside Madison Square Garden in New York City to start the U.S. leg of our tour opening for U2.

Adam walks right out onstage, stopping in the center. He looks out over the arena, bustling with the crew that is putting everything together for tonight’s show. I have to say, he belongs there. The gloom and doom mood that’s been over him for the last year seems to lift while he’s on the massive stage.

He turns to me and grins, waving me over. Once there, Adam slings an arm around my shoulders. “Can you believe this? A couple of years ago we were playing in dusty old an abandoned basement. Now—” he releases me, spreading his arms wide, “we’re in New York fucking City and we’re going to play to a sold out crowd.”

“Yeah, who woulda thought two blokes from Hackney could ever get here?” I look around at everything, the lights, the massive, four-story telly behind us, the twenty thousand empty seats that will have people in them tonight. “It’s bloody overwhelming, Adam.”

Adam’s grin dissolves into a frown. “If only—”

“Don’t do it mate. You can only go forward.” I give him the same advice I’ve been repeating since Ellie broke up with him a little over a year ago. Adam and I turned that advice into a song of the same name that has become an instant hit from our new album,
You Can Only Go Forward
.

“Right. I know. Forward.”

“Alrighty!” The tour manager, Aaron Shiftley, claps his hands to get us to gather around. “Your instruments are still being brought in so sound check won’t be for an hour. After that you have a pre-concert fan meet and greet, then wardrobe. Okay?” We all nod, not having any clue what to do except what we’re told. Ross is just off stage on the phone. He usually conveys the information to us as to what to do and where to be, but this bloke is in charge of everything, so if he wants to tell us directly, then he will.

We all nod and grunt in understanding.

“Then get backstage and rest up. I’ll see you out here in one hour. Do not be late. U2 has their sound check after yours and I will not have them held up, got it?” Satisfied we all understand, like we’re small children or something, he shoos us away.

“Well, that guy is something else,” Hawke whispers.

“Yeah. Real charmer, he is,” I agree.

We get to our dressing room, which is really just a large room with a few chairs and a sofa with a big rack of clothing in the center, and flop down to wait. Adam wanders over to a side table loaded down with snacks while Gavin and Hawke fire up some sort of gaming console.

I figure I should ring Kate now, since it doesn’t seem as if there will be time later. Slipping out quietly, I find an empty room right across the hall.

“Dax?”

“Hello, angel. I wanted to ring you before it got too crazy.”

“I wish I could be there tonight, Dax. You’re going to be amazing.”

Kate’s praise makes my skin warm and my heart soar. It’s nice to hear good things about yourself that don’t involve your ability to smash someone’s nose in with your elbow.

“Thanks. I wish you were here too.” Ross had said he could arrange for Kate to fly out for tonight’s concert, courtesy of our label, but, to my extreme displeasure, Kate has a football match tonight and an exam tomorrow so it was impossible.

“It’s going to be a long six weeks, isn’t it?” she says sadly.

Sighing, I flop down on a nearby sofa. “Yeah. It is. You can still join me in our next city.”

“Dax, I can’t. You know this. Let’s not have another row.”

I grunt, unhappy with her decision. “All right. I’ll leave it be.”

“Just, don’t forget about me.” The melancholy in her voice is evident.

“I’m not going to shag a bunch of groupies, angel. I’m not Adam.” She’s so insecure and she has no reason to be. She’s gorgeous, fun, fit, everything I could want. Everything I
do
want.

“Right, you never shag groupies, Dax.” Kate’s sarcastic tone can’t be missed. She’s alluding to my previous hookups. And she’s right. Before her, I played around a lot and didn’t care who it was.

“If we’re together I don’t shag anyone but you. You know that. There’s no comparison.”

“It’s—”

“There you are!” A piercing squeal interrupts our conversation. I look up and am horrified to see a familiar figure in the doorway.

“Lila?” I’m so shocked, I can’t help but say her name.

“Lila? Lila’s there with you?” Kate asks, sounding alarmed.

I can’t respond to Kate, I’m too bloody surprised to see her former flatmate flinging herself at me, landing solidly in my lap.

“What the fuck, Lila?” I struggle to move her off as she winds her arms around my neck, locking on tight.

“Dax! What the hell is going on?” Kate is shouting through the phone while I remove Lila and dump her on the sofa.

“Dax, honey, stop pretending to be surprised to see me here,” Lila says, plastering her body against me again. Angrier than I’ve been in a while, I shove her back with complete disregard to the fact that she’s a girl. She stumbles, nearly going arse over tit on her bloody high heels.

“Stay the fuck away from me! You’re mental!” I hiss, taking a step back. “Hello? Kate?” There’s no response from my mobile. When I look at the screen, I see that the call has been disconnected.

Putting my back to Lila, I grind my teeth, warring between two different rules at the same time.

Rule 2—Never let your emotions show.

Rule 3—Women who act like slags can be treated like slags.

I’ll hit her if I don’t get it under control and I can’t have that. She’s a cow, but she is a girl. Plus, she’d have me tossed in jail. Rule 2 wins. Breathing slowly, I put my mobile in my pocket, uncurling my fists. Turning slowly, I face the girl who has caused me more problems than I can count.

“Why. Are. You. Here.” I keep my cold, hard mask up, determined not to let her see how much she affects me.

“Oh Daxey, my daddy is the producer for your latest album. Didn’t you know that? I asked if I could have a job on this tour and he made me the assistant to the tour publicist. Isn’t that great?”

Daxey? Job on tour? Publicist? Isn’t she in school?

Lila is smiling, but her eyes aren’t. They’re cruel, cunning, and full of secrets. She knows exactly what she’s doing.

I shove past her before I do something stupid. Storming into the dressing room, I spot Ross in the corner chatting with who-the-fuck-knows and who-the-fuck-cares.

“Ross, I need to have a chat.”

He looks up and does a double take when he sees me. Shit. I must not be hiding my anger very well. I’m out of practice, used to being free to feel however I want around Kate and not care that she knows.

“Sound check is in thirty minutes,” he says to the others after dismissing the two blokes. “Let’s go to the other room.” Ross directs me towards a door to the right. Once it’s closed behind us, he whirls around, concern on his face. “What’s going on? You look like you’re ready to kill someone.”

“I might just do that,” I growl, cursing under my breath as I once again try to manage my building anger. “Fuck, Ross. Why didn’t you tell us that Lila was going to be on tour with us?”

Ross jerks back in surprise. “Lila? Who’s Lila?” He is genuinely baffled.

“You didn’t know?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he admits.

I pinch the bridge of my nose. “Sebastian Griffin.”

“The producer of your album?” Ross asks.

“Yeah. Does he have a daughter?”

“What?” Ross seems uncertain where this conversation is headed. “Well, yes…” He presses his mouth into a tight line. “Tell me you didn’t fuck the boss’ daughter, Dax.”

That’s it. I snap and Ross has the unfortunate luck of being the closest one to me when it happens. Ross stumbles as I surge forward. He ends up with his back pressed against the door. I get as close as I can without actually touching his ridiculous thousand-dollar suit.

“No I didn’t fuck her! She’s been trying to fuck
me
for the past year and a half!” I roar. “She’s Kate’s old flatmate, Ross!”

His eyes widen further than I would have thought possible. “The one who stalks you at the clubs?”

“Yes, that one! I didn’t know her last name! I can’t have her on tour with me, Ross. She’s fucking mental!” I back up, pacing the room while I concentrate on not punching the wall or something else that would injure my hand and make me miss the show.

Ross steps forward, shaking his head, genuine remorse in his eyes. “I’m sorry, Dax. But she’s literally is the boss’s daughter. I can’t fire her.”

“What the hell am I supposed to do?”

Ross’s gaze hardens and he straightens out his suit, tugging at his shirtsleeves. He turns from Hawke’s kind uncle into the professional Hollywood manager in the blink of an eye. The one who doesn’t tolerate rock stars who have temper tantrums.

“I suggest you ignore her. She’s a ninety-pound girl, Dax. She can’t force you to do anything. You’ll figure something out.”

With that, he turns and exits the room, leaving me with the raging urge to punch someone and a near crippling desire to throw Lila Griffin over a cliff.

“Dax! Sound check!” Someone calls for me from the other room. I storm off, hoping the music will take my mind off of Lila and her bloody fucking shit.

It’s not until we’re getting back to our hotel, early in the morning, after one of the biggest moments of my life that I realize I never rung Kate back.

Fuck me.

K
ate

“
S
o what
? You’re just never going to talk to your stony boyfriend again? That’s ridiculous and immature, Kate.” Abby is glaring at me from the opposite side of our table at a tiny Mexican restaurant near our flat.

“No. I didn’t say that. I… I need to figure out what I’m going to do, that’s all. And why are you calling him stony?”

Abby laughs. “You know, because he’s always so… composed.”

“You only notice things like that because you’re obsessed with trying to figure people out, Miss Psychologist.” He is stony and composed, but I won’t give Abby the satisfaction of being right. I drag my fork through my chile relleno, not interested in actually eating it. In fact, I’ve probably lost a half stone since hearing Dax with Lila at the New York concert.

Lila. On tour with Dax. My slutty ex-flatmate around my boyfriend twenty-four hours a day for the next six… well, now five, weeks.

“Have you decided?”

I stare at her blankly, having missed the question. “What you’re going to do about Dax. Have you decided?” Abby asks again.

“No. It’s just,” I take in a deep breath, willing myself not to cry. I’ve cried more than enough over the last week. “I can’t compete, Abby.”

She wrinkles her nose. “Compete? What does that mean?”

I huff. What would Abby know about feeling invisible? She always looks like she’s ready to pose for a swimsuit magazine, all tall, tan, and skinny, with beach-ready blonde waves cascading down her back and big blue eyes.

“What am I, Abby? Honestly? I’m nothing special. I’m not gorgeous, I’m not rich, I’m not posh… I’m just some plain girl from the East End. Why
wouldn’t
my boyfriend go on the pull while he’s on tour? He’ll have girls like Lila flashing their tits at him every chance they get.”

Abby sits back in her chair with her arms crossed, looking bored. “Are you done?”

Heat fills my cheeks in embarrassment.

“Now, look at me and listen up.” Her harsh tone gets my attention right quick. “You are not,” she puts up her fingers and makes quotes, “‘some plain girl from the East End’
.
You’re beautiful, smart, and one of the most talented soccer players I’ve ever seen. You have to stop putting yourself down all the time, Kate. If Dax didn’t want you, he wouldn’t be with you. It’s as simple as that.” She finishes drinking her lemonade and fishes out an ice cube to munch on. “And what makes him so much better than you anyway?”

I shrug, not knowing what she’s looking for me to say.

“Hmph. He’s
not
better than you, that’s why.” She swallows down the remainder of the ice. “Money, fame, good looks… those things don’t make anyone better than you. Some of the most attractive people I’ve ever met are actually quite hideous on the inside.”

I roll my eyes. “Don’t use your psychology crap on me, Abby.”

“It’s not crap. It’s true. God, you
need
a shrink to help with that low self-esteem of yours. You have to trust that Dax loves you. If he doesn’t, then you’ll find out.” Abby pushes her plate away and signals for our server.

“He’s never even told me he loves me, Abby. It’s just that…” I sigh. “I’ve loved him for so long. He was always unattainable to me. I guess I’m afraid it won’t last.”

“He’s not a guy who lays his feeling out there, Kate. You’re looking for reasons to end things so you don’t have to be hurt if he’s the one to end it.”

“I hate that you’re so smart.” I throw some money down on top of Abby’s when the check comes.

“It’s the psychology major in me,” she giggles. “So, will you answer when he calls?”

Abby bumps my hip with hers as we exit onto the crowded sidewalk. “Yeah, I will.”

“Awesome. Now, let’s go work on our tans. The beach is calling.” She flips down her sunglasses and I do the same. Arms linked, we begin the three-block walk to the nearest beach.

As much as I want to believe Abby, the insecure girl inside is begging me to end things with Dax so he can’t hurt me. I have to swallow down the bile that threatens to rise at the thought of never seeing him again. From that reaction, I’d say there’s a big part of me doesn’t want to let him go.

D
ax

“
D
axey
! I need you!”

Fuck!

I cringe at the sound of that squeaky, high-pitched voice. It’s like nails on a chalkboard. Avoiding her is exhausting and it’s only been two weeks.