The Complete Rockstar Series (37 page)

D
ax

“
I
still can’t believe
you’re here,” I say from where I’m sitting in the passenger seat of Hawke’s huge SUV. Kate, Gavin, and Ellie are in the back. After meeting up at the club, the mood in the car has stayed tense, with Kate acting distant and Ellie looking quite ill.

“How was your flight?” Gavin asks, using his easygoing personality to try and break the heavy veil of anxiety emanating from the two women. I twist around to see Ellie’s face, using it as an excuse to get a quick glance at Kate. Her emotions are shuttered up tight, her mouth pressed into a line. Clearly, she doesn’t want to be here with me. If she did, she’d have rung months ago.

“Long,” Ellie says, giving Gavin a genuine smile. Those two always were thick as thieves together.

“Hope you’re ready for this, El,” Hawke says as he pulls into a long driveway. “The guy that owns this place is fucking loaded.”

The SUV winds down the drive, pulling in front of the biggest house I’ve ever seen.

“Wow,” Kate whispers. “Who lives here?”

Hawke shuts the car off and turns back to face Kate. “Some big movie producer. I forget his name, but he’s huge. That part I remember.”

A valet opens Hawke’s door for him. He drops the keys into the man’s hand as we all get out. I look up at the sheer opulence of the monstrosity, and then back at the lot of us. “We look like Tiny Tim and the rest of the Cratchets showing up at Scrooge’s house for Christmas. Way out of our comfort zone,” I joke.

Hawke laughs, a rare sound to hear. “Speak for yourself, man. This is normal for me.”

“Right.” I always forget that Hawke and Gavin grew up very different than those of us from Hackney. They’re both from this area and are used to money, trust funds, stodgy rich people, and parties that cost more than the crown jewels.

“Come on, I’ll be right here with you.” Gavin calmly takes Ellie’s hand and we follow them into a party filled to the brim with Hollywood elite.

I should be excited. This is what we’re trying to achieve. Fame, fortune, recognition for our music… yet all I want is to duck out with Kate and find out why she refuses to give us a chance. I’m tempted to pull her aside right now, but we’ve entered the mansion and the noise crashes over us, making conversation all but impossible.

Next thing I know, Gavin and Ellie have disappeared into the thick crowd. I turn to ask Hawke where we should look for Adam, but he’s gone too. It’s just Kate and me and she looks as if she’d rather be anywhere but here.

I lean down so she can hear me over the thumping music. “Can we talk?”

Kate flinches back at my question. “Let’s find Adam first, okay?” She crosses the room to a doorway on the right without saying another word. At least she didn’t say no. Not having much of a choice, which I fucking hate, I follow, but at a much slower pace. I’m too big to slip through the sea of bodies as easily as Kate.

I find myself alone in a long hallway with doors up and down either side. No sign of Kate. I’ve lost her.

“Fuck!”

This is stupid. My hands dig into my hair, gripping it hard and pulling. The urge to throw Kate down, tie her up, and spank her until she admits we’d be great together nearly overwhelms me. Maddened, I check the rooms one at a time, opening the doors for a look before moving on to the next.

“Oh my god!” The loud screeching voice makes my entire body go tense. I brace for the unwanted physical contact that’s sure to follow that hideous sound. Sure enough, Lila launches herself at me, wrapping her arms around my waist.

“Lila.” I reach back and remove her hands. “What are you doing here?”

“Me? What are
you
doing here, silly? This is my dad’s house. You came to the party after all!”

“What?” Her dad? The big producer is Lila’s father? I’m so flustered, I don’t notice Lila rubbing her body all over me like a cat.

“My dad. This is his house. Now, I didn’t grow up here. My parents divorced so I only visited on weekends, but Daddy…”

I tune her out. Her dad. Shit. I wonder if Kate knows that Lila’s dad owns this house?

“Dax?
Lila
? What the hell is going on?”

Slowly, I turn to face Kate. Her face is red and her eyes glossy with tears. I look down to see Lila is still pressed up against me, wearing the same microscopic red dress she had on at the club. I back up as if Lila burned me.

“No. Kate…”

Kate spins on her heel, hurrying down the hall.

“Fuck.”

“Don’t worry about her, Dax. She knows that she doesn’t fit in with this crowd. I’m surprised you’d bring her.” Lila smiles, reaching up to put her hand on my chest.

“Sod off, Lila.” I take off after Kate, hoping she’ll let me explain.

By the time I catch up to Kate, she’s already talking to Ellie and Gavin. No one has found Adam yet. Hawke joins us and puts a beer in my hand. I’ve never been more thankful in my life to have a drink as I am right now.

K
ate

G
iggling
. My dreadful, slutty, man-stealing flatmate is giggling from her side of the little suite we share.

I groan, pulling the duvet up over my head, too tired to deal with her this morning. Then last night comes back to me.

Dax, with Lila hanging all over him. Adam, shagging some bloke’s girl. Ellie, leaving the party in tears, never returning to my dorm to get her things.

I nearly start crying when I think of Ellie’s face when Adam shoved her. I grab my phone and dial the number she gave me. A lilting voice tells me that it’s been disconnected.

Gone
. She’s gone. I feel ill, then the sick feeling morphs into fury.

On a mission, I throw off the covers and grab some clothes. Quickly, I shower, brush my teeth, and get ready to leave, more determined and angry than I’ve ever been in my life. I’m going to kick Adam’s arse for being such a useless twat and destroying my best friend. Dax, the bastard, can be dealt with later.

When I step out of the bathroom, Lila is waiting for me.

“Did you have a good time last night, Kate?” She smirks, knowing I was upset to see her with Dax.

All right then. Adam can wait.

With my hands on my hips I step forward. A streak of satisfaction runs through me when Lila falters and is intimidated enough to step back.

“Let me tell you something, Lila. I am really not in the mood for your crap. In fact, I’d say I’m somewhere close to being quite unstable at this moment.” Her eyes widen a fraction. I take another step forward and the backs of Lila’s knees hit her bed. “You don’t want to start something you can’t see through. Do you?”

I cock my head and wait for her response to my veiled threat.

“I suppose not,” she says.

“Good.”

I grab my keys and head for the door.

One problem down, only about a thousand more to go.

Lila calls out after me. “Just one more thing before you leave.”

I flinch, frozen in the doorway, one foot in the hall. Reluctantly, I turn around. Lila sashays over, her hips swaying as if she were strutting the catwalk at fashion week.

“What is it,” I snap.

“Oh.” Her eyes flutter as she feigns innocence. “I thought you might like to see a picture I took last night. You know, before my dad’s party.”

“Your dad? What?” Confused, I release the door, letting it close gently behind me.

“My dad. Oh no!” She acts embarrassed when it’s obvious that she’s enjoying every minute of torturing me. “That party last night was at my dad’s house. Didn’t you know?”

I swallow loudly. “No. I didn’t.”

“Well, no worries.” Lila waves her hand as if it’s no big deal. “Here. Isn’t this a great photo of me?” She whips out her phone, holding it in front of my face.

When I get a look at the screen, my knees nearly buckle. Somehow, I have no idea how, I manage hold in my reaction. Internally is another story. My heart flips around and stalls, plunging into my feet.

There, in all of her half-naked glory, is Lila, licking Dax backstage at the club last night. I know it’s last night because I recognize the clothes they both are wearing.

“Where did you get this?” I snarl, snatching the phone out of her hand.

Lila deftly plucks the phone from my hand and walks over to her bed, sitting down gracefully.

“Oh, you know, just after the show last night. I go to all of Dax’s shows.” She sits up, all wide-eyed and childlike. “You do know that I meet up with Dax after all of his shows, don’t you?”

Scorching heat floods my neck and face, burning me to the tips of my ears.

Lila smiles. “I guess you didn’t. Well,” she lies back on her bed, crossing her legs at the ankles and begins playing with her phone.
Is she texting Dax?
She doesn’t look up as she dismisses me. “Have a nice day.”

Humiliated, I spin and stumble as I reach for the doorknob. The last thing I hear as I fling it open and run down the hall is Lila’s girly giggle.

D
ax

“
D
ax
? What are you doing here?”

I jump up from my seat on the concrete steps of the training facility at UCLA. I’ve been here for over an hour, waiting for the girls’ footy practice to end. “Kate!”

Kate lets her hurt show for a brief moment before her face hardens. “I’m late for class.” She slings a large duffel up on her shoulder, brushing past me.

“Wait! Don’t do this again. Talk to me, Kate.”

“Do what, exactly!” She whirls around so fast I stumble over my own feet. “Protect myself from getting my heart broken? Or distance myself from a highly dysfunctional group of slutty, immature men?” Her voice cracks on the last word, her full lower lip quivering.

My heart flinches from Kate’s verbal slap down, but I manage to keep my face calm. She’s right. We
are
a highly dysfunctional group of slutty, immature men. And I probably
will
break her heart. But the sadness behind her anger makes me even more determined to win her trust back.

“Nothing happened with Lila. You know I can’t stand her. If you had stayed after talking to Adam yesterday at our flat—”

Kate cuts me off, her cheeks flushed red. “If nothing happened why have you been meeting up with Lila backstage after your gigs?”

How in the hell…?

“I don’t meet her backstage.”

“She’s my flatmate, Dax! She showed me the bloody photo from the other night! Don’t treat me like I’m stupid!”

“You’re not stupid. She accosted me after our gig. Literally grabbed me, Kate. She took the photo before I could shove her off. I turned her down… blatantly. I know how much Lila upsets you, the way she’s always chatting me up. We’re fighting over nothing. You know I despise her.”

“It’s too hard, Dax.” She shakes her head, her eyes glimmering with tears. I should let her go, let her think I’m the bastard that I am, but instead I push forward.

“Why don’t you trust me? I told you I want to be with only you and that’s not good enough. So what is it then?”

Kate harrumphs, crossing her arms over her chest to shield her heart from my perceived betrayal. “You were snogging her in the hallway at that stupid bloody party Saturday night? As if it isn’t bad enough what Adam did to Ellie…” a pained sob escapes.

And there it is, right there. She’s afraid that what she saw happen between Ellie and Adam will happen to us. Kate’s seen Adam and his parade of tarts and thinks I’ll chuck her and do the same. The Lila situation has only made it worse.

“Kate…” I step forward, pulling her into my arms. “I would never do that to you. Ever.” My body awakens at the contact, electrified sensations zipping through my veins.

“I don’t know if I can believe that, Dax.” Her body is stiff in my arms.

“Please. Give us a go. I’m not like that. Your flatmate is a total nutter, you know this. Once the term is over, you’ll move and won’t have to deal with her anymore. I told her off good this time, so hopefully I won’t have to deal with her anymore either.”

I can’t believe I’m begging a girl to be with me, yet here I am.

Kate steps back, leaving a cold space where her warm body was pressed against me. “Why me? Huh, Dax? I’m nothing special, so tell me why?”

Reaching out, I take one of her hands in mine, threading our fingers together. I’m torn between keeping everything bottled up and hidden, and telling Kate everything I know to be true.

“You… you’re different.” I struggle to explain how I feel without giving away too much. How it felt knowing that we may have never gotten a chance to see how great we could be because of my past. My inability to let my emotions show, my belief that the post-fight rewards were not only deserved but that they were
owed
to me, those bloody rules—they fucked up everything.

Kate arches an eyebrow. “Different?” Her beautiful, full lips turn down in the corners. When she tries to tug her hand away, I hold on tight, refusing to lose the contact.

“Different is good, Kate. Bollocks. I’m not saying it right.” Sighing, I rub my free hand over my unkempt hair. “I
respect
you. That—well, it means something to me. You’re better than some random shag in the backroom of my dad’s club or Lila or a groupie.” My dad’s rules come roaring back to the forefront of my mind again, never far enough away to ignore.

Rule 4—Women who act like slags can be treated like slags.

Kate was never a slag and never will be.

I see her wince at the reminder of the women in my past and her stupid flatmate as I drag the knife over her wounds, bringing fresh blood to the surface. But there’s something else shining there—behind the pain. Hope? Desire?
Hate?

I swallow nervously. Fuck, I pray it’s the first two. I couldn’t live with the guilt of Kate hating me. For the millionth time, I wonder why I care, why I let this girl see my emotions, for her to see me stripped bare in a way I don’t let anyone see.

She bites her lip, those white teeth sinking into the plump, pink flesh. The action makes my cock stir in my trousers. I say a silent thank you that I threw on baggy cargos instead of the tight, crotch-hugging jeans I usually wear.