The Cougar's Wish (Desert Guards) (26 page)

“About what you told Ellery.”

“You mean what happened on the other side of the portal?”

“Yeah. We can’t figure out what it means if we don’t have enough information. We have your side, but we need some information from him, too.”

“I’ll find him.”

Assuming he wants to be found.

She’d been pissed that he’d taken off like that, because for some dumb reason she’d thought he’d hang out with her while she worked, but he’d bounced as if he couldn’t stand to be around her.

The cat part of her wanted to spit nails.

“You sure about that?”

“It’s not like he can get far,” she muttered. “I’d know it if he neared the edges of my mate radar.”

“That’s scary as shit.”

She shrugged. “Don’t blame me. Blame Lola. She’s the one who gave us that ability so we could keep track of you fools.”

“Things were different back then. Of course a Cougar lady was going to try to stop her idiot mate from running off and getting himself lost in the jungle. She needed help being aware of what he was doing so she wouldn’t be distracted from her numerous other chores.”

Belle gave the nearby filly’s nose a rub and gave Sean a long blink. “Chores, huh? I guess we modern Cougars don’t have many of those.”

“Point proven.” He leaned against a nearby stall and entwined his fingers. “So, are you moving back to the ranch?”

She ground her teeth and pushed back the quick
no
she wanted to give him just as a matter of course.
Apparently, I’m maturing.
“I’m giving it some serious thought. Lily, too.”

“Yeah? I know Mom would appreciate the help. Lily gonna quit her job, or is she just coming to keep you company?”

“I don’t need company.”

“Right. You’ve got a squirrely mate.”

Belle cut Sean a glare.

He put up his hands. “Just sayin’.”

“No need to rub it in my face. But yes, Lily would quit her job. It’s been a while since she’s gotten her hands dirty out here, but she’s smart. I don’t doubt she’ll get up to speed pretty quickly.” Belle laughed. “Faster than all those other knuckleheads out there.”

“It’s not supposed to be easy.”

“Huh?”

Sean let out a breath and shoved his hands into the pocket of his jeans. “With Steven, I mean. It’s not supposed to be easy.”

“Why does it seem to be like we’re picking up the tails of an argument we abandoned two weeks ago?”

“Maybe we are. You yelled at me for not making things easy for Hannah, but it’s not supposed to be easy, is it? Has being up front with Steven made things better for you?”

“Honestly, I don’t think they’ve impacted the scenario one way or another. I wouldn’t say being honest has made them worse, though.”

Sean nodded. “Maybe not. We’re getting crunched for time, so if you have an inkling of an idea of where he might be, I’ll go with you.”

Belle started for the door, brushing her hands clean on her jeans as she went. “He’s out front, I think.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. Toward the road.”

“Gut feeling, huh?”

“I wouldn’t call it that. I guess it’s just kitty proximity alert. Kind of like how Ellery’s cat can hone in on her voice from any room and walk straight toward her.”

“That’s different. Ellery’s cat is her familiar.”

“Maybe I’m Steven’s familiar.”

Belle and Sean both burst into laughter as they climbed into the four-wheeler parked near the outbuilding.

“I can imagine the groan he’d make if you said that,” Sean said as Belle put the vehicle into gear.

“I think he has the bare minimum of tolerance for this stuff.”

“He’s doing okay for an outsider, all things considered.”

“Think so?”

“Yeah. It took Mom a year to get acclimated to being around Cougars, and she didn’t even have to deal with demonic disturbances and visits from various other supernatural types besides the witches in town. She’ll tell you there were a ton of times she wanted to pitch in the towel and leave Dad. I think the last time she considered it, she got foiled by the bundle of cells that later became Mason.”

“So I can thank him for keeping them together?”

Sean shrugged. “Maybe not. I don’t believe she really would have left him, even if she did hate this shit. He would have been lost without her, and I think she knew it.”

“Do you think Steven’s lost?”

“Belle, we’re all a little lost. You didn’t hear that from me, though.” He squinted up the ranch road toward the car parked near the fence. “Is that a ...”

“Yeah. That’s a sheriff’s department vehicle. The deputy, probably. What the hell is he doing way out here?” Belle navigated around her least favorite pothole on the path and picked up as much speed as the tiny vehicle could manage.

“Lights aren’t on, so it can’t be an emergency.”

“Certainly he didn’t drive way out here just for a chat.”

“Not he,
they
. There are two of them.”

She saw the second vehicle when some of the dust cleared and pushed the pedal down a little more.

By the time she stopped the four-wheeler, Sean was complaining of a bruised tailbone, and Belle’s thighs were burning like hell.

She tidied her wind-blown hair the best she could and attempted a casual gait toward the fence Steven was leaning against along with the sheriff and Alex’s favorite deputy. “How’s it going, boys?”

Steven bobbed his eyebrows. “I’m being shadowed by the county’s finest.”

Sheriff sighed. “Not shadowing. We’re just gathering info.”

“Way out here?” Sean asked.

Sheriff cleared his throat. “We get out here every now and then.”

“You come out here as little as possible because you want to have plausible deniability about the shit we have to take care of within the glaring.”

“Okay, maybe, but look. We’re stretched thin as a force. Had to fire a couple of deputies who were in deep with the Sheehans, and a lot of shit happened under my watch that I’m ashamed to admit. I don’t stand for those kinds of dirty dealings, and I don’t care if they fall under the various shapeshifter alphas’ purviews or mine. I’m supposed to oversee law and order in this county, and I can’t stand for there to be any more exceptions. We gotta work closer together so we can figure out ways to handle the stuff that falls into both jurisdictions. Mason doesn’t have the time, and I’m guessing you don’t either.” He looked to Sean.

Sean shook his head. “Nope. My plate’s full.”

“And I won’t bother asking Hank, because he’s just as overcommitted as you and Mason.”

“So, you asked Steven.” Grinning, Belle looked to her blank-faced mate. He was being offered a job he didn’t even have to interview for. It was a perfect job for him, and of course, it’d be one more reason for him to stay.

If he had any feelings about the situation, though, she sure couldn’t glean them. She might have been able to if she got a little closer, but if she got close, the chances were pretty high her inner cat would make her do something inappropriate for public viewing ... like shove her hands into his pants.

Sheriff shrugged. “Well, I was warming up to the sales pitch when you started blazing the path.”

“How did you even know he was out here?”

“Alex,” Carlson said.

Belle rolled her eyes. “You should be ashamed of yourself, extracting information out of her like that.”

He rocked back on his heels and grinned. “She gave it willingly.”

I bet.

Steven straightened up from the fence he was leaning against and gave his head a shake. “I appreciate the offer, but I don’t know if I’m the right guy.”

“The hell, you aren’t!” Sheriff said. “Come on, boy, you already got the training, and you don’t have to pretend you don’t see the shit that’s going on out here and with the shifters in town, because you can’t help but to. If it’s about the money, I’m sure I can talk the folks holding the purse strings to squeeze a few more Ben Franklins into the offer. Plus, you know. There’s the pension, and we throw a pretty nice pancake breakfast the day after Christmas and a chili lunch in spring.”

Steven snorted. “It’s not about that. Why don’t you ask Tito?”

Sheriff narrowed his eyes. “Maybe I should. That doesn’t mean I’m going to stop hounding
you
though.”

“You can’t hound me if I’m not here.”

Belle raked her hand through her straw-strewn ponytail and cleared her throat.
So he’s still on that train of thought, huh?
“Um. I hate to interrupt your recruiting visit, Sheriff, but we’ve got a meeting about some ranch business to get to, and unfortunately, Steven can’t extricate himself from it.”

Try as he might, she wasn’t going to let him.

Sheriff sighed and pulled a little pad and a pen from his shirt pocket. He scribbled down something, ripped out the piece of paper, and thrust it toward Steven. “That’s just in case you threw my card away.”

Steven pocketed the paper and shook his head. “I still have it.”

“All right, then.” Sheriff tipped his hat at them and walked toward his cruiser, responding to some crackling on his radio as he went.

The deputy hung back, watching the sheriff walk away. When he was out of earshot, he said, “Found a bunch of stuff to charge the Sheehans with, including Ralphie. Chain of evidence was weak on a lot of things, but it helps when you’ve got folks willing to tattle to save their own skin.”

“What kind of folks?” Sean asked.

“You’d be surprised who’ll come out of the woodwork when folks think it’s safe to talk. All kinds of folks. I guess they figured they’d suck it up and tell on themselves before the Sheehans told on them. They don’t want to get kicked out of your glaring for withholding information, I guess.”

“I’m gonna need some names,” Sean said.

Deputy grinned coyly and backed toward his car. “Well, that’s official police business.”

Belle groaned and rubbed her eyes.
Should have seen that one coming.

“Anyway, they’re getting arraigned this week. I feel sorry for Ralphie. I doubt he’d be tied up in the mess if it weren’t for his family, and he’s just a kid. He’s stupid, and they’re not teaching him to be anything but that. If you folks can find it in your hearts to argue for kinder sentencing for him ...”

Sean gritted his teeth. “We’ll talk about it and let you know. Ralphie’s the reason Hannah is a Cougar. He mauled her. If anyone should have the final say on whether Ralphie should get tossed into the deepest, darkest depths of juvie, it’d be her.”

“Jeez. Well, all right,” the deputy said. “Don’t be strangers.”

He got into his cruiser and followed the sheriff up the path.

Without a word, Steven started walking toward the houses.

Sean cut her a “
Well
?” look, and Belle shrugged and whispered, “What the hell am I supposed to do?”

He pantomimed walking with his fingers and hopped into the driver’s seat of the four-wheeler.

“See you at the house,” she said.

He nodded and started the thing up. He waved at Steven on the way past, and it apparently took Steven a moment to put two and two together and realize that Belle wasn’t in the vehicle with Sean.

He turned around and spotted her on the path.

When she’d caught up to him, he asked, “You got some kind of tracking chip attached to me? And if so, where is it and when did you have a chance to put it there?”

“I don’t need a tracking chip. The animal part of me is a huntress, and she’s going to be more attuned to her mate than any other creature around.”

“So, you’re only giving me the
illusion
of freedom.”

“If I’m not free, why should you be?”

“Of course you’re free. You’re a terrifying wild cat, aren’t you? You can do what you want.”

She shrugged. “For some things, sure. The part of me that’s primal and wild lets me do things I wouldn’t have the courage to do if I were just human.”

“Like following me into holes to hell.”

“That, for sure. But there are some things I’m not free to do.”

“Such as?”

“Take another mate, for one.”

“Belle—”

She put her hand over his mouth and shook her head. “I keep telling my brothers to be honest about things so there’s no confusion and nothing gets left unsaid. I can’t preach it unless I’m going to live it, so that’s why I’m telling you. You’re it. I don’t get another.”

He wrapped his fingers around her wrist and gently pulled her hand down. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry, what? That that’s the way it has to be?”

“No, I’m sorry that’s the lot you drew. That of everyone you could have had, I was it.”

He meant that. She could tell.

That was almost as bad as him simply not wanting her. If it were that, she could get over the burn eventually. The other thing ... she had to help
him
get over. She wasn’t so sure how to do that.

She wasn’t used to arguing on her own behalf. With most folks, she adopted a “take me or leave me” policy. But she didn’t want him to leave her.

Maybe I need to convince him that he could have me anyway?

It wouldn’t be a desperate move. Just an honest one.

Steven had never been the kind of man who put much stock in the opinions of the people around him. Their commentary didn’t change his actions—except when it came to his parents. Steven often changed his behavior for them just out of spite—to show them how ridiculous their beliefs were—but that wasn’t quite the same thing as what he was enduring at the ranch at the moment.

Everyone but him seemed to think things were hunky-dory and that time would mend most wounds. Steven, on the other hand, staunchly believed that added time would only make him retreat further into his darkness.

He couldn’t retreat, no matter how badly he wanted to. The more he burrowed, the more the people around him dug in and tugged him back.

It was driving him nuts, but he couldn’t lash out.

Literally
couldn’t.

Belle was on his lap and not purely out of flirtation. Whatever magic she was working on him at the moment was keeping him from bolting. His limbs wouldn’t cooperate. Legs wouldn’t work. Arms wouldn’t nudge her away.