The Cowboy Next Door (8 page)

“I can drive myself home. Will you call if you hear something?”

“You know I will.”

“Okay.” She sobbed a little, not wanting him to hear. “Jay, thank you.”

“You're welcome. And I'm sorry.”

She closed her phone and slipped it into her pocket. Bailey's hand was on her shoulder. “It'll be okay.”

“I don't know how.”

“Let Jay drive you home.” Bailey sat down across from her, their salads forgotten.

“No, I'm fine. You need to eat. Little Cody Junior can't go without food.”

“I'll eat, but you need to let friends help you through this. Lacey, you've always been there for me. Let me be here for you. Let Jay be a friend.”

Jay, a friend? It felt like a mismatched shoe. It didn't fit. It was a little tight. A little uncomfortable.

 

Jay hung up from the call to Lacey and concentrated on driving, on not getting distracted. As he pulled up to the barn, he noticed his parents on the porch. They were home. He hadn't expected that.

His dad greeted him as he got out of the truck.

“I wondered if you were coming home any time soon.” Bill Blackhorse smiled and winked, talking the way they had talked to one another a dozen years ago.

“Did you think I would pull a stunt and miss curfew?” Jay smiled back.

“Nah, not really. But as we came through town we saw your truck and Lacey's car at the church.”

“I was just doing what Mom asked, making sure Lacey was okay.”

“Lacey is a wonderful young woman.”

So that's the way this was going. Not that Jay was surprised. His dad had introduced him to Cindy, too.

“Dad, we're neighbors, maybe friends, nothing more.”

His dad patted him on the back and they walked into the barn together. “Jay, it's okay to fall in love again.”

“Is it, Dad?” Jay pulled his saddle out of the tack room. “I need to work that black mare.”

“Working the black mare isn't going to undo what's happening to you. You're letting go. I guess maybe you feel guilty.”

Jay shrugged. He faced his dad, and it wasn't comfortable. He wanted to let it go, the way they'd been letting it go for years now.

“Dad, I can't forget Jamie. I can't forget that I loved her.”

“No one said you had to forget. But let someone else in. That's all I'm saying.”

Jay walked out the back of the barn. At the gate he whistled and the horses, ten of them grazing a few hundred feet away, turned to look at him. A few went back to grazing. He whistled again and they headed in his direction.

“What you're saying is that I should let Lacey in.” Jay smiled, glancing at his dad in time to catch a shrug and a little bit of a sheepish look. “Dad, you can't push us together. From what I hear, Lacey is still getting over Lance. I still have a wedding ring in my dresser drawer.”

“I'm asking you to pray.” Bill reached out to pet his favorite gray mare. “I'm asking you to let God heal your heart. Maybe that's why you came home. Time to face what happened and move forward.”

“I think I am moving forward.” Time to let go of the girl he loved? He didn't know if he could.

The black mare, Duckie, a strange name for a horse, was at the fence. Jay slid the halter over her head and clipped on the lead rope.

His dad opened the gate and Jay led the mare through, moving fast to keep the other horses from following. Bill closed
the gate behind him. A car door closed. Jay led the horse to the barn and tied her.

Lacey walked through the doors, her face a dark silhouette with the setting sun behind her. He heard his dad behind him.

“I'm going to the house.” Bill patted him on the shoulder as he walked away, greeting Lacey with a hug.

“I'm sorry. I should have called.” Lacey looked a little lost, like she wasn't sure. She stood a few feet from him, from the mare. “She's beautiful.”

“You don't have to call.” He looked over the mare's neck at the woman leaning against the wall. “You okay?”

“I'm fine. I was on my way home from Bailey's and I realized I really didn't want to go home. There's no one there.”

“The police will find her, Lacey.”

“And take her to jail.”

“They won't take Rachel to jail.”

She reached to slide her hand down the neck of the mare. Jay slid the saddle pad into place and then lowered the saddle onto the mare's back. The mare turned to look at him, but she stood still.

“Do you want to ride her?” He tightened the girth strap and knotted it.

“Could I?”

“I think so. I'll show you how to rope.”

“No way!”

He smiled and it felt really good. “Yeah way!”

“I'd love it.”

It would keep both of their minds off what they didn't want to think about. He didn't want to think about letting go of Jamie. She didn't want to think about her little sister going to jail.

“Come on, we'll take her out to the arena.” He led the horse and Lacey walked a short distance away. “You do know how to ride, right?”

“Of course. You can't live around here for six years and not know how to ride.”

He laughed because she bristled like an angry cat.

“Let me ride her first and then she's all yours.”

L
acey felt like a rodeo queen on the back of the black mare. The horse was gaited, so her trot was smooth and easy. Jay stood on the outside of the arena. She kept her eyes focused on the point between the mare's ears and tried not to look at him.

But she did look at him. He smiled and pushed his hat back, crossing his arms over the top rail of the vinyl fence of the arena.

“Bring her over here.” He opened the gate and walked through, a rope in his hand. “Here you go.”

“You really think I can do this?”

“Why couldn't you?”

“I'm clumsy and uncoordinated.”

He laughed again and she wanted him to laugh like that all the time. When he laughed she forgot that her sister was in the biggest trouble of her life, her niece was in danger…no, maybe she didn't forget. It distracted her for a few minutes and the knots in her stomach relaxed a little, but she couldn't forget.

He put the rope in her hand, his hand closing over hers. His hands were strong and warm. He looked up, like that touch meant something, and she couldn't look away, not this time.

She realized she had one more problem she was going to
have to deal with: Jay. Because his smile did something to her heart, shifting what had been numb and cold and for a moment making her believe in something special.

“Here you go.” His voice was a little quiet and rough and she wondered if he felt it, too. “Take it like this and make easy loops. Don't work it too hard. You have to look at your target. That's what works for me.” He nodded to the horns on a post. “Give it a try and remember, she's going to do some of the work. She knows what to do. Don't panic.”

“I won't.” If only she could breathe. Breathing would be helpful.

“Relax.”

“Okay.” She wished. But relaxing was probably going to happen when she managed to rope those horns. Never.

She rode twenty feet out from the target and stopped. The mare responded to her leg pressure; just a squeeze and she came to a halt. Amazing.

“You can get a little farther away,” Jay encouraged.

“Umm, no.” Lacey smiled and lifted her arm. “I thought it would be easier, and lighter.”

“Come on, Lacey, cowgirl up.” He winked.

“Okay, here we go.” She did it the way she'd seen it in the movies and at rodeos, raising her arm and swinging the rope. It seemed to fly, to soar, and then it dropped.

She never expected it to drop on the mare's head.

But it did. And the mare didn't appreciate it. She sidestepped and jumped back. Lacey fell to the side a little and she felt the horse hunch beneath her, like something about to explode. Lacey had no intention of getting thrown, so she jumped. As she flew through the air, she knew she was hitting the ground face first.

She hit the ground with a brain-jarring thud that rattled her teeth. The hard impact of the ground socked her in the gut
and knocked the wind out of her. She tried to draw in a breath and couldn't.

“Lacey, are you okay?” Jay was at her side, kneeling and not hiding his smile the way she would have liked.

“Can't breathe,” she whispered.

His smile dissolved. “Does anything feel broken?”

She glared. “Everything.”

“Let me help you sit up and you need to take slow, easy breaths. It knocked the wind out of you, but I think you're okay.”

“Easy for you to say.”

Lacey rolled over and looked up at the sky, and then at Jay. He sat back on his heels and his lips quivered. Lacey laughed a little, but her head hurt and so did her back. Her whole body hurt.

“I don't think I did it.” She leaned back again, thinking maybe she'd stay on the ground.

“I think maybe you're not going to be George Strait anytime soon.”

“He does rope, doesn't he?”

“Yep.”

“I stink. Tell Duckie I'm sorry.”

Jay's smile dissolved. “Come on, let me help you up. You sound a little loopy and I want to make sure you're okay.”

“I don't sound loopy. I'm fine.” She eased herself to a sitting position, aware of his arm around her back and that cinnamon-gum scent.

If she turned he would be close, really close. And being near him upset her balance more than the fall she'd taken.

“You're not fine. That was a hard spill.”

“Help me up.” She stood, slow and steady, and a little sore. “Nothing broke.”

“Jay, is she okay?” Bill stood at the gate. Lacey smiled at Jay's dad and saluted.

“She's fine.” Lacey answered. “My pride is hurt. I really thought roping would be easy.”

“Come on out here so we can take a look at you.”

Jay's arm was around her, holding her close like she mattered. “Why in the world did you jump?” he asked.

“I thought it would be better than being thrown.”

Jay and his dad both laughed. Jay shook his head. “Did you really?”

“Yes, I really did. And I was wrong. I can admit that.”

“Next time grip her with your legs and hold steady on the reins. She spooked, but she wasn't going to throw you.”

“I'll remember that. Stay on horse, don't try to jump. Got it.”

Jay's arm tightened around her waist and he pulled her against his side. “Lacey, I haven't smiled…”

And then he was quiet and Lacey didn't know why he didn't smile. But she was glad it was time to go home.

 

Lacey's phone rang late the next afternoon. She was stiff from the fall and from working all day. As she reached for the phone she grimaced a little. Bailey was sitting at the dining room table and she laughed. But she had promised not to mention the fall again.

“Lacey, they've got Corry in custody.”

Lacey closed her eyes. “Okay. What now?”

“I'll pick you up and take you to Springfield. Family Services has Rachel.”

“Will they let me have her?”

“We're making phone calls.” Jay paused. “It'll work out. I'll be down there in a few minutes.”

Lacey hung up and then turned to Bailey. “They have her in custody.”

“Jay's taking you to Springfield?”

“He is.” Lacey tossed her cell phone in her purse. “I'm scared to death.”

“Don't be. This is going to work out. Call me when you get home, so I know you're okay.”

Lacey nodded. “I'll call.”

Five minutes later Jay's black truck pulled up in front of the house. Lacey had popped a few ibuprofen and she met him at the front door. He stepped out of the truck, leaving his hat behind.

He was the one there for her.

No, not for her. She pushed that thought away, because it was dangerous to her heart. That thought didn't even belong. It was like a kid's activity book,
one of these things doesn't belong.
The thing that didn't belong was Jay Blackhorse in her life.

This was about Corry in trouble, the baby and the police. Jay wasn't in her life. He was…

She wasn't sure and now wasn't the time to deal with suspicion, worrying that he had other motives for helping. She didn't want to get caught up in questions, prodding her to ask why he was involved in her life and what he wanted.

“Call me.” Bailey stood behind her. “And stop looking like the sky is falling. That isn't you, Lacey. You're my sunshine friend, not a dark cloud.”

Lacey turned and smiled at Bailey, remembering a time when they were on opposite sides of this fence and Lacey had been the optimist. “You're right.”

“Ready to go?” Jay stood in her yard, Wrangler jeans, a button-down shirt and his puka-shell necklace. She smiled, because she couldn't help herself. She liked that he had these two sides of his personality.

“I'm ready to go.” She smiled when Bailey kissed her cheek. “Thanks, Bay. You mean the world to me.”

“Ditto, chick.”

Bailey walked down the steps, punching Jay a little on the arm. “Take care of her. She's my best friend.”

“Will do.” He shifted a little and looked down, his cheeks red.

Lacey pulled her door closed and twisted the knob to make sure it was locked. And then she walked across the lawn with Jay.

It felt worse than a first date.

It was anything but.

“Climb in.” Jay opened the passenger-side door and she obeyed, really not seeing the running board, and then falling over it. A strong hand caught her arm from behind and held her steady.

“Very graceful.” He said it with a smile that she could hear. “You're two for nothing on the accident scale.”

Lacey turned, frowning, and he was still smiling, a smile that showed dazzling teeth and the tiniest dimple in his chin.

“Thanks.” She smiled back.

“You're welcome. Do you need help?”

He was teasing and that helped, for a second she forgot the case of nerves that was twisting her insides.

“I'm fine, and you can let go now.” She slid into the seat, aware of the place his hand had rested on her arm.

The truck was still running and Casting Crowns played on the CD player, songs of worship, loud and vibrant. She fastened her seatbelt and leaned back, waiting for him to get in. He did, bringing with him that freshly showered and spicy-cologne scent of his.

“Lacey, you have to stop thinking I'm the enemy.” He reached to turn the music down. “I'm sorry for knowing about you, about…”

“My record.” She looked out the window, watching farmland slip past them. Gentle hills, green fields, a few houses and barns. Not St. Louis, city streets and crowded neighborhoods of people getting by the best way they knew how. Some did better than others.

Lacey's family had been one of the families not making it at all. Never any security or hope, just scraping and trying to survive.

“We've all done things.” Jay tried, she knew he really tried. He didn't get it. He couldn't.

“What have you done?” She turned away from the window to look at him. “Well?”

He didn't answer, but he smiled a little smile, keeping his eyes on the road ahead of them. Both hands on the wheel in driver's-ed position. He did everything by the book.

“Did you maybe sneak behind the barn and smoke once, years ago? It made you choke, might have made you sick, and you never tried it again?”

He laughed. “Were you watching?”

“No, but I can picture your skinny little self out there with a friend, sneaking around with your contraband, your little hearts racing, hoping you didn't get caught.”

He laughed, and Lacey laughed, too. And it felt good. It felt like a moment of normal in a crazy, mixed-up world. A world that for a time had been on its axis, turning smoothly.

“You picture me as a skinny little kid, huh?”

“You weren't?”

“I was.”

“I know. Your mom showed me pictures.”

He groaned at that and shook his head. “Of course she did. So you see, we've all done things.”

He didn't understand feeling dirty. He didn't know what it meant to walk down the aisle of the Gibson Community Church, wondering if it would be like the other times she had gone to church, wanting to be loved and walking out lonelier than ever.

She closed her eyes, remembering that first week in Gibson, when she'd gone to church and she had gone forward, looking for love. And for the first time, finding it. She found perfect love, and redemption. She found forgiveness.

“Do you know what I learned when I moved to Gibson?” She looked at him and he shook his head, glancing her way only for a second.

“No, what?”

“That the love I had been looking for wasn't real love. I had tried church quite a few times over the years, but I'd had the wrong idea and each time I went, I left unhappy.”

“Okay.” He waited. She liked that he really listened. He got that from his mom.

“I wanted love from the people in those churches. And when I didn't get the love I needed from them, I left. Not that some of them didn't reach out to me, but they couldn't give me what I needed.”

“Forgiveness?”

“Exactly. I needed God's love, and I craved His love, I just didn't know it.”

“I know.”

“Really?”

He nodded. “I've had my angry moments with God and a few years of wild rebellion because I thought he'd let me down.”

“You really were a bad boy?”

“I was.”

Lacey looked away, because she didn't know how to go farther with the conversation. She didn't know how to accept that Jay could actually understand her.