The Cowboy Who Strolled Into Town (96 page)

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The Billionaire’s doubt

(Billionaire Pregnancy BWWM Romance)

By Riley Moreno

Harold Washington was the big man in town and he knew it.  At 48 years old he was also a widow who was lonely.  But Harold was particular to his women.  He liked them sure, but he had always just wanted something simpler.  Since his wife has passed he didn’t allow anyone to get too close to his heart.  He didn’t want the pain of losing a loved one ever again.

He looked at his reflection in the mirror.  “Plus I hate a woman who is only after me for my money!”  He sneered at the thought of all those gold diggers he’d met in the past.

They were the ones who turned his stomach the most.  He hated them with a passion.  Harold knew exactly why he had this anger in him.  It was his step mom he’d always thought about when he thought of gold diggers.

His father had been lonely after his divorce and she had been a pretty little blonde.  Harold pictured her 5’ 2” stance perfectly still, the day he met her he knew what she was about.  He could tell she didn’t love his dad.  Nope she was only after the old man’s money that bitch.

He really couldn’t stand her.  Thankfully, his father had gotten wise in the end and divorced her.  Harold remembered the day she came crawling back crying to him.

              “Please Harold talk to him, he’ll listen to you.”  She had begged him.

Harold has always wanted to tell her exactly how he felt about her and he used this time well.  “Nope Shelly, I can’t do that.  See I know you only want his money.  I know that you’ve simply been hoping he would die and you’d get his money.  But that’s not going to happen.   You know why?”  He had stopped to give her a second to respond, but she had only looked at him. 

              “I love your father you stupid little fucking punk.  Your problem is that you want him all to yourself.  You can’t share him and you never will.  You would rather see him in pain then to be happy.”  She had yelled at him.

              “How could he love you, what are you two years older than me?”  Harold had asked her, she was actually 25, which had been 3 years older than him at that point.”  He had slammed the door on her face.

He heard her yelling something, but he didn’t care.  He turned and walked away.  His father and him did so much better on their own, she was right about that.  But that was it, Harold loved his father.    Now 26 years later he was looking at himself again.

Thankfully his marriage had been based on love, he knew he was lucky.  His wish would have been his father to have this feeling when he had been alive.  But Harold had never got to see his happy as Harold had been in his marriage. 

He grew sad thinking back to Emily.  He had adored her with his every fiber.  Harold knew that love that theirs would be one in a lifetime.  He thought back to the years of treatments he had to watch her go through.

The cancer had eaten away at her body, she had cried in pain every night at first.  Nearing the end she hadn’t stopped crying in pain once.  Harold felt the tears coming to his eyes as he thought of her.

              “Emily I miss you so much my love.  There isn’t a day that doesn’t go back that I wouldn’t wish to have with you.  I so wanted to grow old with you.  I can never find another like you.”  He cried out.

Though it had been 10 years since her death, when he thought of it the pain was fresh like it was just yesterday.  It had ripped him apart when she died; he had tried to hold on to her.  Even when she was crying out and asking him “please just let me die.”  Harold couldn’t let it happen, he loved her too much.

Was he being selfish?  Yes but not on purpose he wasn’t trying to be.  But deep down he knew it was something he shouldn’t have allowed to happen.  He should have let her die in peace and with less pain.  But he had tried to let her go like that and he couldn’t stand it.

With the drugs in her she would sleep all the time.  He wanted to hear her voice so badly.  Harold craved to hear her talk, so he had asked them to cut back the medication at first.  They had tried to tell him they were giving her the minimum amount they could.  “If we give her any less she’ll feel the pain again.  It’s barely enough to control the pain she has.  You do understand this right sir?”  The doctor’s had asked him.

              “Yes I understand but I miss her so much.  Please just a little less okay?”  Harold had asked.

They had looked at him, he knew that look.  “It was the same one of disgust that Shelly had when he slammed the door in her face.

So many times in the past 10 years he had wondered why he hadn’t let her go earlier.  But he knew that answer.  The doctor’s had lowered the dosage on the pain shots Emily received.  He could still close his eyes and imagine it.  She had screamed so badly it broke his heart.  Not enough for him to agree to them to giving her more pain medicine again. 

              “Sir please you must allow us to give her more medication.  Can’t you hear her pain?”  They had pleaded with him.

Harold would look at them and answer honestly.  “She doesn’t scream all the time.  She’s starting to look at me again.  She’s even said my name.”  The tears came to his eyes with the memory all of these years later.

              “Sir she’s pleading with you to let her die.”  They had snapped their fingers in front of his eyes trying to gain his attention.

              “No if you ask me one more day I’ll fire you and she won’t get any of the drugs.”  Harold had threatened.  He knew with all his heart if he had to he would let her die without a drop of medicine to help her out.

The doctors saw the look of honesty in his eyes and knew he wasn’t kidding.  They had backed off and at least he knew Emily had a little relief for her pain.

              “No I’ll never find another love like that ever again.”  Harold was sad at this realization because he would love to have that happiness in his life once again.  This is why Harold had started dating again recently.

He hadn’t known where to go at first.  Well who was he kidding this would be his second time out tonight.  That’s why he was checking his appearance in the mirror right now.  Looking closely in the mirror he saw the first hints of gray showing on his dark black hair.  He checked himself out, “You’re a decent look guy Harold, and you can find someone.”  He tried to cheer himself up.

              “I don’t want to find a gold digging bitch though.”  He said out loud.  This was his greatest fear with going out again.  That’s why he had waited a year in between his two outings now.  He sighed as his mind went back searching for Emily.

He had known he loved her from the first time he had seen her.  It was his first year at college; almost everyone on the campus knew his last name.  Hell how could they not his family owned most of the state of California.  If he didn’t have such a distance for the gold diggers he could have a date any night of the week he wanted. 

Emily had been different though.  She hadn’t even batted an eye when he walked in; the other girls in the group seemed to sense him.  But there was the one girl who didn’t turn.   He had noticed it right away.  He had a keen observation on gold diggers.

              “Hi my name’s Harold Wa.”  He had gone to introduce himself to her, making sure he let her know his last name.

She had cut him off with a quick look.  “I know who you are and I don’t honestly care.”  She had said and turned back to the conversation he had rudely interrupted.

Harold didn’t care the guy she was talking to was someone who would barely qualify to clean his car.  She was a beautiful woman; he saw her face and was lost in it instantly.  It was the look she had given him that had capped the deal. 

He could remember her shorter brown hair.  It hung just below her ear lobes.  She had just a little bit of make-up on and a faint lipstick.  Emily had been beautiful.  When the cancer had struck her the first thing she cried about was how it would affect her looks. 

              “We’ll get you wigs, no one will know about the hair.”  Harold had told her.

              “They’ll know Harold you know they will.”  She had cried on his shoulder.

              “Even if they do they won’t say a word or act funny around you.  I’ll make sure of that.”  Harold had promised.  He was true to his word too.  A few of the staff who Emily had heard over talking about how “she has no hair”, where the exact words she had told him.  Harold had fired them.  In all reality he had been mad enough to kill them.  But they weren’t worth going to jail over.  Even though he had money, he knew there were limitations to what he could ask for with it.

Now here he sat fighting with himself on whether he should go out or not.  He wanted to; however, he didn’t want to go to this charity thing.  It had been his CEO for one of the companies he owned who had suggested the night out.

              “I’d rather sit here and think about Emily instead.”  He said to himself.  But Harold had never been the type that would stand up a person.  If he had promised he would go, he had to go.  It was part of his own principles. 

              “Fuck it.”  He said, and looked in the mirror combing his hair into place.  Looking once again at the few grays that were coming in on the sides, he thought it made him look more handsome. 

He rubbed his face to see if he wanted to shave or not.  He liked the little bit of stubble that had grown on his face the past few days.  It added a new dimension to him.  Harold finally finished off his look with a quick spray of Polo cologne.

Chapter 2

The charity had the feel of a carnival when they walked in.  Harold was a fan of the old time carnival’s so maybe this night wouldn’t be as bad as he had thought.

              “Different type of theme isn’t it?”  Jack Sim the CEO who had invited turned to Harold and said.

              “Yeah it is I think I like it a lot!”  Harold admitted.  He decided to let himself relax for the night and have some fun. 

If anyone would admit that he had closed himself off to the world, Harold would willingly say yes.  He had done it, ever since Emily had died.  Hell, ever since she had gotten so sick.  At first he had hoped the doctors had been wrong about the diagnosis.  He had spirited Emily all over the world to get different opinions. 

              “I’m sorry to report that your wife has lung cancer.”  He could hear it from each and every doctor at the same time.  His world has crashed down around him.  He was sure Emily went through her own hell as well.  Harold tried to be there for her as much as he could.  But honestly, for the first few weeks he had distanced himself from her.  He was crying on his own, being by himself not comforting her at all.

Yet another time he had been shellfish.  That was part of his personality he had wished he could have changed.  But it had been there for years.  His dad had instilled in him the attitude that whatever Harold wanted, he would get.

Perhaps it was because Harold’s mother had died when he was only 2 years old.  Or maybe it was because his family was filthy rich and anytime he needed something he would ask his dad.  Anytime he wanted something he would ask his grand dad.  They both had spoiled him and made him who he was.

Harold liked himself.  He had been told by many people in the past how much of an asshole he was though.  They didn’t like his “holier than though attitude!”  That’s how they would always say it too. 

As he walked around he let his mind wonder back once more to the happier times with Emily.  That first time he knew she was different.  He thought back and wondered how he had known she was different.  Well besides the fact she had told him she knew who he was and she didn’t care.  That had been the first time he had ever heard that when someone found out who he was.

He became quite interested in her.  Harold found out everything he could about her, from other people.  He learned her name was Emily Sands and she was just a girl.  Not related to anyone important, not even rich.  As he learned more and more about her he became even more interested.

Finally he had found her again and tried to woo her.  He worked hard on that too.  He wanted this girl who didn’t care about his money at all.  When she finally agreed to their first date she paid for her dinner.  Harold wanted to tell her right then and there that he loved her.

He wasn’t stupid he knew there was more than just her attitude that he loved.  While they got to know each other he opened up to her completely.  She accepted him for who he was and loved him anyway. 

Harold found out that sharing his money with someone he really loved wasn’t hard to do at all.  He loved everything about Emily.  It had taken him a full 2 years of dating her to get her to agree to marry him.

His father was still alive for a year after Emily and he got married.  She had helped him through the loss of his father.  She had been there to let him cry on her shoulder and hadn’t judged her for the tears she had seen falling on his face.

              “Mr. Washington I’d like you to meet the organizer of this event.”  Jack grabbed his attention.

Harold looked at the dark complexion of the lady he was being introduced to. 

              “This is Sandra Sims.  She’s my sister as well as the person who set up this amazing event.”  Jack smiled proudly. 

              “Nice to meet you Mr. Washington, and thank you so much for agreeing to come to our event.”  Sandra shook his hand. 

He smelled a gold digger in her.  “It’s nice to meet you as well Ms. Sims.”  He shook her hand but wanted to get away from her quickly. 

Harold didn’t notice the look that flashed across her face.  Had he known he might have been aware of his misjudgment?  In his mind he avoided her the rest of the night.  He didn’t even realize that she never once approached him again.