The Cruel Twists of Love (19 page)

“
Do you need to be alone?” Helen nods.

         Helen runs the bath and she uses the toilet, she checks the tissue and there a little blood as she suspected on it. She cannot stay
with a man like this no-matter how much she loved him. Stepping into the bath, she feels that she needs him off her skin. He didn’t seem drunk last night but in control when he used her the way he wanted and her feelings didn’t count. She knew it wasn’t rape but she felt like it was. Maybe it was? She did say no but he still continued. Sinking into the stinging water and it soothes her. Wrapping her arms around her knees and she cries and hugs herself and she plays absentmindedly at the ring on her finger. Her crying grows louder and hysterical with the raw pain inside.

        
Helen is not aware of Phil when he gets into the bath, until he pulls her into his arms. Stroking Helen hair and nursing her like a child. Rocking her gently and soothing her. She nuzzles into him and she cries into his arms, just like she would do if it was her mum cradling Helen.

“I never do anything to hurt you again I just had
too much to drink at the pub last night before I came home. I was annoyed at being suspended then you kept me waiting” Helen struggles, but he is holding her tight in his arms.

“
Sorry that came out wrong I just wanted to ask you to marry me Helen. Carol liked it rough and after her accusing me of rape in work, I just wanted to hurt her but I took it out on you. I knew what I was doing to you would hurt, but you were like a drug to me. I just couldn’t stop myself” Helen can feel Phil shaking when Helen rest her head on his chest. She needs to go home to think clearly. She felt confused by him being near her because he still made her feel safe in his arms but he was the one who was hurting her.

“
She accused you of rape? I’m confused” she says and she stifles a sob

“
When I went for your clothes, she said I raped her that why she went for you it is all lies Helen I never loved Carol and she knows it” Helen can hear the bitterness in his voice

“
But you were with her for four years Phil you must have felt something?” wrapping his arm lovingly around Helen shoulder, and she sighs he won again she thinks sadly.

“
Is that what she said? No Helen, it was just sex for me nothing more and I never touched her as soon as they check the cameras and prove that I was not in the hospital when she said I raped her, I will be back in work” letting go of Helen and climbing out of the bath with his hand out for Helen.

“It getting cold Helen and I will not touch you” Helen stiffly rises from
the bath but getting out without Phil’s help and grabbing a towel. She doesn’t want him to look at her and she doesn’t need his help.

“I really fucked up big time with us
please Helen it never happen again, I begging you Helen, you said yes baby, you said you be mine please I am begging you for another chance” Phil tears are Helen undoing of her and she allows him to kiss her mouth, her tears fall in her defeat and he carries Helen to his bedroom. Wrapping her in his arms and he holds her to him on the bed and cradling her in his arms as they both cry soft tears.

            Helen awakens when Phil softly strokes Helen stomach he
never touched her so gently before and places a kiss on Helen neck. Her muscles are not so tender after the hot bath but it was the way Phil stroked her stomach that woke her. He has never done that before but Alan used to do it all the time hoping there was something there to soothe, that was what startled her. She needed to phone her doctor when she gets home.

“
Are we o.k. Helen” she closes her eyes and he kisses up the back of her neck. Helen wished she could control her feelings for him. She needed to end this relationship she knew that but succumbing to his touch of his lips on her neck. She can feel Phil’s smile when he kisses her shoulder and her anger flares. No she must end this she screams in her head. But she is frozen in his kiss to fight this seduction and he starts to strokes up her legs. Massaging her aching muscles and she relaxes to his touch.

“I love you Helen, I never hurt you again and I would die if I lost you Helen” she turns onto her stomach and he massages her shoulders gently.
She feels so emotionally tired and she cannot fight Phil anymore and she soothes from his soft touch.

“I got collage Phil I need to go home”

“Your dad phoned the collage yesterday and explained what happened so you can stay, they not expecting you till next week Helen”

“
But I, I need to go home Phil” she can feel the muscles in his body tighten with the tension between them when he massages Helen back

“I thought we were o.k. Helen, I have explained I would never do anything to hurt you again.
Please Helen just love me that all that matters. I will never drink again and risk hurting you please Hel, forgive me please” Phil desperately turning Helen over and kissing her deeply and she can taste his tears. Helen wants to stop his pain she causing Phil and the pain in her heart stopping as soon as she responds to his kiss. Pulling Phil to her lips desperately, she needs to feel his love again. Helen can forgive him anything when he is like this with her. Her body aches but she gives into Phil and he kisses over her aching body. She lost to his soft kisses over her breast and he slowly makes love to her with just his kisses. When he moves his kisses down between her legs then kissing her clitoris Helen tenses from the pain.

“I’m sorry Helen, you going to be too sore to make love. I don’t deserve your forgiveness Helen, I take you home” Phil doesn’t look at Helen
when he gets off the bed his shame is clear on his face

“I will not be long Helen I will get something for you to go home with. How the hell could I do that to you?
You right, this is not love or I would have stopped” she is shaking as Phil leaves her and grabbing his clothes from last night and closing the bedroom door then a few minutes later the front door. The pain ripping through her chest and she hugs herself. Struggling to breathe with her painful sobs and her hand goes over the ring. It the first time she has looked at it since he slipped it on her finger. It a stunning solitaire diamond that been set in a rosy gold with a Celtic design around the band and Helen thinks it stunning. She tries to take it off but it stuck. The lubricant where has he put it? She thinks. She searches the cabinet by his bed but Helen is shocked by the porn in the cupboard, not that he has any but by how much he has. There are magazines on bondage, group sex with women and a multiple supply of compact discs of hand written titles. She closes the door that private and not for her eyes she thinks horrified that she been looking and fascinated by the covers. She opens the draw where he keeps the condoms and the lubricant but the photograph frame faced down in the draw has her curiosity in its grip. She takes it out of the draw and turns it over expecting to see Carol’s face. Her heart in her chest when she recognized her face, she never seen the photograph before and she dressed in the clothes from the nightclub. That the only place it could have been taken she thinks. The lights are on her face and she is smiling at someone out of the picture and casting a glow over her face. It must have been taken when she first got there. She places the picture on the cupboard and shuts the draw.

“Alright Helen make up your mind time, stay or leave?” she asks herself, but she already knows the answer
.

            Helen is waiting for Phil to come back with her clothes. He has been gone for hours now and she was getting nervous when she waits on the stairs for him. She hears the car pulling up outside and she gets ready by the door. She can hear Elsie talking, oh god she thinks and she rushes and hides upstairs. The front door opens and closes.

“Helen?”

        She listens to his footsteps coming up the stairs and watching the bedroom door as it opens. She presses play on her i-pod and she slowly dances closing her eyes when she moves seductively in his shirt and slowly undoing the buttons when she dances.

“
What you doing Helen?” she smiles at his confusion in his voice

“
Just dancing Phillip, will you join me?” and dropping her shoulders and allowing his shirt to drop a little. Helen’s hands moving over her breasts and she sway’s her hips seductively. Stroking and arching her neck as she moves.

        She feels Phil hands slip around her from behind and she rubs her behind into his body. Phil bends his head and kisses her neck
, moving her body into his when Helen moves and allowing the shirt to finally drop to the floor. Phil tilts her chin to his lips and kisses her lips, holding her in place by her throat.

“
How can you forgive me?” he whispers so quietly to her mouth

“
Because I love you Phil, I really wish I didn’t but I do”

“
Oh Helen I really thought I lost you” And pulling Helen hair gently and he kisses her neck, Helen moving his hand between her legs. She still sore to touch but she needs to show him that they are alright

“
It o.k. Helen we can just kiss” Helen holds his hand to her body

“I need to Phil, please show me we going to be o.k.” she pleads

“You got to promise me you stop me if it too much” and lifting Helen onto the bed and Helen undoing his trousers and slipping him into her mouth. She feels him removing his jumper when she sucks him. Holding her face in his hands and pulling Helen gently from him and kissing her lips urgently. Phil pushes her into the bed. And he gets the lubricant and rubs it on him then Helen and soothing and massaging her sore skin.

“I love
you “she whispers and he slips inside her. The mix of pain and pleasure when he enters her makes her moan. She holds on to his shoulders and feels his body start to move, wrapping her legs around his hips so he can deepen into her sore body. Phil holds on to her hips with his one hand and moves fast inside her. Phil kisses and tastes her mouth when he gently holds her face with the other hand and climaxing inside her quickly.

“
Sorry Helen, I couldn’t stop myself” she kisses Phil softly it didn’t matter that she has not had an orgasm she had her Phil back.

Chapter 5

            Phil hands strokes her stomach wakes Helen with a fright again. The same tender care as before and transporting Helen into Alan’s arms when he soothes the wanted baby Alan wanted. Is that what Phil wanted? He has been getting more careless.

            Helen was so relieved when her period came last week and could start the birth control but she hasn’t told Phil. She knew he wouldn’t understand that she did not want a baby yet with him. He would take it as a rejection and not it’s too soon.

        Phil was also refusing to accept the ring back because Helen had said yes to him and if she loved him she would want to please him and show everyone she was his. So the ring was still on her finger. Phil has been very loving towards her and making no demands in weeks. The only glimpse from the other Phil was when she told him she was going dancing with friends from collage this Saturday night. He was not happy but Phil gave in and said she might as well because he wanted to do some Christmas shopping for her. She had Phil present wrapped under the tree at home and a few surprises for him for later. Phil was coming over for dinner then they would come here because Helen was almost living with him now and with spare clothes sharing his wardrobe.

“
Time to wake up Helen, if I can’t have you tonight” and slapping Helen playfully on her buttocks

“
No more Phil, I beg you I am not going to be able to walk straight let alone dance if you keep this up” 

“
But Helen that my plan, pick a number?” and tickling Helen and Helen giggles at him

“
One”

“
No, you need more, pick again” as he continues to tickle her

“
Six Phil, stop please, can I have six” she laughs and she wriggles from his fingers

“
Six? You are a greedy girl today Helen, but I see what I can do”

“
So how do you want your first?” stroking her body and he kisses Helen’s neck

“
Like this Helen?” he whispers and moving Helen leg up with his and slipping his fingers inside her

“
Yes” she whispers breathlessly

            She was meeting Max by the bus stop and they would meet the others at the Blacksmiths. She didn’t want to go there alone so Max said he would meet her first. Max was becoming a great friend and he was always making Helen laugh with his playful behaviour. He was twenty and had a strong muscular build, dark brown hair that was cut short and a strong jaw line. Phil thought Max was a girl and Helen didn’t correct him when she talked about his antics in collage. Helen didn’t fancy Max but she could understand the other girls chasing after him because he was always funny and charming. Helen feels hands slipping over her eyes.