The Cruel Twists of Love (33 page)

        Helen rushes to cross the road before she can think to look for traffic and jumps back away from the approaching car
when the driver slams onto the brake and swears at her loudly before driving back off. Helen heart is in her chest as she watches the child wandering off to find his mum. She looks at the fast traffic for a gap and runs across as fast as she can to the other side with horns blazing and screeching tires. She breathes a sigh of relief when she reaches the other side.

“J
ackson” she desperately screams when she watches him walking near the road. He freezes and turns to look at her.

“
Hello Jackson, my name Helen I’m a friend of your mother’s do you want to get an ice cream until she comes back?”

“
Mummy coming back?” she doesn’t want to lie but she needs him to come to her and away from the traffic and she walks nearer to him, conscious not to scare him. 

“
Yes, mummy asked me to treat you to some ice cream until she comes back”

“
Chocolate?”

“
Anything you want mummy said because you such a good boy” Helen knows she said something wrong when he steps away from her

“
Mummy said I was good?” the confusion on his face and Helen steps closer when he turns and she grabs hold of him when he steps into the road, turning her back to the traffic and she cradles him in her arms. She screams from the impact from the car when it hits her legs and lower back and she topples back onto the car. Thankfully the car had slowed down and the impact was not as bad as it could have been Helen thinks to herself but the pain shooting up her legs and back. The driver steps out of the car and looks as white as a ghost Helen thinks dazed by the impact.

“
Shit you alright? I braked as soon as I saw the kid” Helen pushes herself off the bonnet off the car but sits back down from the pain.

“I think so, sorry but his mum just dumped him here” Helen check
s over Jackson to see if he was alright and scared by how quiet he was in her arms. Helen kisses his head and feels him tense from her contact. Helen can see he is more afraid of her than what could have happened by the car.

“I
will phone an ambulance just in case, the child looks in shock”

“There no need my husband a doctor and Phil's waiting in the restaurant.
We were waiting for our son but she just left him alone” a crown has started to build up and people were coming out of the restaurant wondering about the commotion outside. Helen feels the pain grow in her legs when they come back to life. She knows he is here before she sees him and looking up at the door of the restaurant when he rushes to her.

“Helen
, are you alright, the baby?” holding her tight when he hugs her. Helen nods and she returns the hug

“
What the hell happened?”

“
Your shit of a mother just left him alone outside thank god I was the other side of the road” Helen hugs the child tight and Phil goes to take him from her arms.

“
Come on Helen let him go I need to check you are alright” Helen looks at Phil warning him to back off and she tightens her hold. She can feel Jackson shaking from her contact but she can’t let go.

“I fine Phil and I promised Jackson some Chocolate ice cream”

“They have ice cream in the restaurant Helen will you let me check you over then?” Helen gently strokes Jackson hair from his eyes

“
Shall we get some ice-cream?”

“
Strawberry?”

“I thought you wanted chocolate?” she laughs at the concentration on his little face
when he tries to decide which flavour.

“
You can have both Jack, if you can get Helen to go inside” Phil says sternly and Helen can feel Jackson cower closer into Helen body.

           
Helen struggles with Jackson in her arms to the restaurant and her legs protesting from the pain. Phil writes down his insurance details and hands it to the driver.

“
Tell them I reversed into you, no need for you to lose out because of my mother” the driver takes the details with some hesitancy.

“
Can I have your number to check how your wife is?”

“
Sure it’s on the details I gave you. I will take her to hospital after the child’s got his ice-cream sorry I am still learning not to argue with my wife” Phil shrugs his shoulders and smiles apologetically at the driver.

“
No worries, I think she still more concerned for your son, you know she shielded him from the car, she a very brave lady your wife” Phil shakes his hand and rushes to Helen and supporting her weight with his arm around her waist

“I wish you let me hold him”

“He scared of you Phil I can feel him shaking when you talk”

“
And I was scared of you Helen, so he will learn I will not hurt him like I did with you” Phil kisses Helen cheek

“
But you do keep scaring me”

“
My baggy, mummy said Phillip was supposed to have it” tears springing to his eyes with the knowledge that he dropped the bag when Helen grabbed him

“
Let’s go and find it when Helen orders the ice-cream” and Phil grabbing hold of Jackson before he or Helen can complain, setting him on his feet and he holds his hand tight in his grip. Helen sits down in her seat fighting the queasiness in her stomach from the smells in the restaurant, she glad it close to the door.

“
Not so tight Phil, he only little”

“
We o.k. aren’t we buddy?” Helen gives Phil a stern look in warning, she not going to be argued with after the day she had.

“Helen a bit touchy so we better not argue” stroking Helen face tenderly

“Come on Jack let’s find that bag” leading the child by the hand and he struggles to keep up with Phil and Helen summons the waitress over

“
Could we have a chocolate and strawberry ice-cream please?”

“
Sorry we don’t do ice-cream” Helen looks at the waitress sternly

“
Look I have just been knocked down and I promised my son a dammed ice-cream before I can find out if my unborn baby is alright, so what do I need to do to get the ice-cream?”

“I send someone out for some from the corner shop” Helen smiles her
thanks at the waitress before she hurries off.

“
Well Helen, you are without doubt not a natural” Helen laughs at Phil statement, picking up the hidden meaning

“
And don’t forget Phil, I bite”

“
Don’t worry Jack she only bites me, when I’m naughty” ruffling his hair playfully. Phil picks him up and puts him in a high chair by the table.

“Phillip he not a baby he be five on Friday”

“I know Helen but I need to have a look at you and I don’t want him wandering off when my back is turned” Phil looks concerned and he reaches for her hand. Looking at his watch when he checks her pulse

“
It’s a little fast Helen”

“I only just made it Phil, I forgotten to put my running shoes on today” Helen laughs falsely

“You not fooling anyone Helen, I know you scared so am I” kneeling down to look at her legs and he lifts her dress a little

“I can remember a time that would have turned me on”

“Oh, I’m losing my attraction now I’m pregnant” she teases

“
We need to go to hospital NOW, we can get the dammed ice-cream later” he says and he stands back up looking worried.

“
Will it make a difference?” Phil touches her check tenderly

“
No Helen, if it going to happen nothing will stop it”

“
Then can we go home after?”

“
No, sorry I need to know it will drive me mad worrying if we don’t find out for sure” Helen nods her acceptance the baby will be fine she tells herself

“
The driver said you turned your back to shield Jackson, how can you value your life less than him?” Helen can hear the bitterness in Phil voice.

“
He brought the bag to the door when he saw it in the road. I really don’t get you, I don’t think I ever will” his bitterness turning to anger.

“Phil I didn’t think of myself only of protecting Jackson, I would do it again in a heartbeat for any child not just for Jackson
and don’t you dare blame me or Jackson for this, do you hear me?”

“
Sorry Helen, I’m just worried about the baby. You bleeding bad Helen and I can do nothing but wait” Helen fights her tears back, the pain been building up in her stomach but Phil confirming what she already knew that her baby was dead.

“
Then can we go home after” Phil shakes his head sadly

“
You will need to be examined properly”

“
Can you do it?”

“I can’t Helen, it taking all my strength just standing here waiting for a fucking ice-cream” Helen watches the waitress come over with
a napoleon ice-cream.

“
Yucky white ice-cream” Jackson says with a look of disgust on his face and Helen cuts the vanilla ice-cream away and places it on a different plate.

“
All gone Jackson” Helen forces a smile on her face and she passes the spoon to Jackson.

“
How can you act like nothing fucking wrong?”

“
Keep your voice down Phil, you scaring Jackson”

“I’m fucking scaring him?” he hisses at her

“I get the fucking car and you got ten minutes or I will fucking drag you to the hospital, do you hear me?” Phil slams the door loudly when he leaves Helen masking her heartbreak alone.

          Helen summons the waitress over who got the ice-cream and gestures for her to come closer so she can whisper to her

“Sorry but I think I’m having a miscarriage could you look after Jackson when I go to the bathroom? My husband gone for the car but I need to check” the waitress strokes her arm and nods and she sits down in a vacant seat. Helen notices blood on her seat when she stands and the waitress covers it over with a napkin.

       Helen locks the door in her toilet cubical and searches for a
sanitary pad in her bag. She finds one scrunched up on the bottom and places it in her briefs. She wipes the blood of her skin with a wet wipe and she allows her tears to fall finally for the child she knew she lost and she struggles to gain control over her grief. Helen didn’t want Jackson tainted with this grief so soon after meeting him so she wipes her eyes and opens the door. She washes her face with cold water and pats her face dry. Taking a deep breath and faking a smile she goes back to the table.

“
Thank you for looking after Jackson and getting the ice-cream for us. How much do I owe you?”

“
It’s on the house, your husband’s outside do you want me to bring your son?”

“
If you could lift him out of his seat, I can manage the rest” Helen holds her head up high when she heads to the car with Jackson in her arms. Phil hesitates then opens the car and greats Helen and takes Jackson from her arms and placing Jackson in the back and strapping his seat belt around him. He presses the child lock on the door and slams the door shut.

“
Where is mummy?”

“
We see her later buddy” Phil struggling to sound happy for the child, he opens the door for Helen to get in and gently strapping her in.

“
We go home Helen, just like you wanted, shh Helen it be alright you just need to be brave a little longer” Helen closes her eyes and she wraps her arms around her stomach. She hears the door close and she allows her silent tears to fall. Phil squeezes her hand gently before starting the car and heading home

            Helen wipes her eyes a
nd she forces a smile for Jackson when they pull up to their house.

“
Look Jackson your new home, we will have a big party here on your birthday”

“
A party, can Summer come?”

“
Who Summer?” she whispers to Phil

“
No idea, but I will ask mum” Helen starts to cry again when she loses control of her emotions

“
She dead to me Helen, but we need to keep her sweet until she signs the forms or he never be ours” Helen spots Elsie coming towards them and groans.

“I can’t deal with her yet” Helen says bitterly

“You will have to Helen, she been like a mother to me all these years and I need her to help me cope with this mess” Phil squeezes her hand reassuringly

“
Besides she already knows, I phoned her from the car so she can look after Jackson when I examine you” Helen gets out of the car and opens the door for Jackson. She lifts him out and returns his smile when he nuzzles into her.