The Cruel Twists of Love (25 page)

“
If you love me you do it for me”

“I said
No Phil” Phil pulls Helen roughly over his lap

“
Just five Helen, come on there a good girl”

“I said
NO Phil”

“I
will do anything you want Helen as long as that sexy arse is over my lap” Helen rests her head on the side and she raises her dress over her bare behind. Phil stokes her curves gently.

“It
will be more profound Helen like this” Phil hooks his legs around Helen legs and places his one hand on her back holding her down firmly.

“I
have been looking forward to this all day Helen” Phil moves a little and grabs a bag by the side of the couch and pulling out a large wooden paddle brush. Helen wriggles from his hand.

“
No Phil just your hand”

“
Shut the fuck up Helen, one cry or scream that comes out of that mouth and you get double beatings tonight”

“Please Phil no, I said no Phil if you do this” the paddle hits her hard before she can finish the sentence
and Helen whimpers from the pain

“NO” she screams and she struggles

“Ten Helen, will you keep your fucking mouth shut” he massages her where he hit her and allowing the pain to die down before he hits her hard again. Helen whimpers and digs her nails into Phil when the third hits her harder.

“
Let not fight Helen or you will have more” she grabs a pillow and bites down when the fourth hits her

“
That cheating Helen let me see your face when I hit you” Helen looks at Phil with watery eyes, the fifth making her whimper and cower from the blow. The six hits her hip. Phil parts Helen legs and hits Helen in-between her legs then pulling Helen body up and hitting her breast. Eight Helen thinks just two more, he makes her wait then slaps her face hard and she feels dizzy from the force. Phil pushes Helen to take him in her mouth and she bites his leg. Phil grabs her face and slaps her hard and she falls to the floor.

“
Fucking take it bitch” he forces himself into her mouth and he holds her down

“
You bite me again and I will pull every one of your god dammed teeth out, suck me Helen” scared by his threat she shakily stops struggling and he slides in out of her mouth. She tries to think of something to escape this nightmare but she pinned to the floor by his body. Helen prays for it to end when he rapidly forces himself into her mouth. She tries to push him off her but he sinks deeper. She hears the doorbell ring and he slides out of her forcing his briefs into her mouth and tying Helen hands behind her back. He hits her hard across the face and ties his tie around her gag.

“
Dinner Helen” she tries to go to the door but the room is spinning but she manages to crawl a little before he comes back in carrying the pizza box and he slaps her across the face.

“
Where are you going Helen? Only it’s time to eat” Helen is still left tied but her gag is removed

“
Eat up Helen” he holds a pizza slice but she turns her face away

“Let me go Phil I’m not playing, I want you to stop”

“That what you always say Helen”

“
Please Phil don’t do this”

“I’m
only going to make love to my future wife, what wrong with that Helen?”

“
But you forced me Phil, I said no”

“
That you did but you always say no and you do like it rough so how am I to know when you serious or not?”

“
Please let me go Phil” she pleads

“
Sorry Helen I thought you were playing” He says panicky when he looks at her face properly and untying her quickly and she runs to the door as soon as she is on her feet. Phil is faster and pulls Helen hair and his hand goes around her throat and pushes her into the wall.

“
Here we go again, Helen the victim. You always overreact to things, I had no idea you were serious Helen”

“
But I said no Phil over and over I said it” Phil squeezes her throat threateningly

“
Don’t start Helen, now eat your pizza and stop overreacting”

“I want to go home”

“You are my girlfriend Helen and you are supposed to want to stay with me”

“
How can I stay with you when you treat me like this?”

“I don’t want an argument Helen now calm down you know I wouldn’t do anything to upset you on purpose”

“But”

“
Shush Helen” Phil whispers softly and kisses her neck gently

“
Sorry I know I was a bit rough with you but I really thought we were role-playing a rape scene like the porn we watched, don’t be mad with me Helen” perhaps it was her fault she thinks confused by his quick change of personality.

“I need to go home and think Phil”

“Come on Helen, you know the men are back tomorrow do you really think I hurt you like that on purpose?

“
You hit me very hard Phil that was real”

“I got carried away with the game that all. I’m really sorry Helen
, give me another chance please. We need a safe word then I will know you are serious” and stroking Helen cheek where he hit her

“
Come and have some food, if you still want to leave after I will take you home” Helen reluctantly goes back in. She shakily eats one slice and forcing it down because she has lost her appetite.

“
Eat please Helen, I am really sorry” here the water works Helen thinks irritably when she looks at Phil tears.

“
Come on baby, you know I love you, tell me you love me”

“I love you” there no conviction
in her words when she says this it’s just words to keep him sweet

“
Say that you love me Helen?”

“I just did Phil”

“Say you love me”

“I love you” and her tears starting to flow again

“Shush please don’t cry, just say you love me”

“I love you” she says quietly

“Good girl, kiss me Helen” Helen shakes her head

“Kiss me Helen you love me so show me”
Helen looks at Phil and shakes her head again

“
Come on baby kiss and make up time, we don’t have to make love, it’s just a little kiss” Helen quickly pecks Phil on his cheek and Phil hands go into Helen hair and pulls her lips to his. Helen gives in and allows Phil to kiss her but she doesn’t respond to the kiss.

“
Come on baby, kiss me properly” Helen opens her mouth to get it over with and feels his tongue in her mouth. She closes her eyes against the intrusion she feels.

“
Come on Helen, give us a proper kiss and then we eat the pizza” Helen forces her response and kisses Phil back

“
There a good girl Helen” pulling Helen close and he kisses her again.

“
Now eat your dinner Helen, we can talk later” Helen forces a cold slice of pizza down when Phil holds out another slice.

“
Eat” Phil hand feeds Helen the slice

“
There’s a good girl, Pizza can be our safe word can you remember that Helen?” Helen nods

“
Am I forgiven?” Helen was confused by how she felt, was it just a misunderstanding or did he know he was forcing her. She needs to go home and think she warns herself.

“
Come on Helen you know I love you. I would die if you ever left me, so I would never do anything to risk it” Phil touches Helen cheek

“
Does it hurt?”

“
Yes”

“
Sorry Helen” kissing her cheek gently then her lips

“I need to know we alright Helen” and
his kiss grows firmer on her lips and Helen pushes Phil away

“
Not tonight Phil, please my head is spinning”

“
But we are alright?”

“
Yes” Helen says quietly

“
There a good girl, I will make it up to you when I get home on Friday

“Friday?”
But it only Tuesday Helen thinks to herself

“
Sorry Helen I will be on call all day Thursday and it’s too far to travel so I will stay at the hospital. I might put some extra hours in when I’m there” at lease Helen you can think she tells herself

“
We can go shopping Friday because I’m off work over the Christmas”

“I don’t like crowds Phil”

“If it too busy we will come home” Helen nods, but it’s always busy on Christmas Eve she tells herself.

“I better go to work
but we are o.k.?”

“
Yes” Helen says weakly. Phil kisses Helen

“I
will leave you some money, why don’t you phone Max and see if he can come over?”

“
Would you mind?”

“
No Helen I wouldn‘t mind, he a good friend Helen and I liked him when he stood up for you”

“
Did you give back his Phone?”

“
Yes Helen that why I was late home”

“I got to go Helen
but I am going to go crazy thinking about you tied up” Helen blushes and Phil wraps a blanket around Helen shoulders

“
Don’t read too much and try to get some sleep” kissing Helen head sweetly

“I got you some stuff for the new kitchen, so you
will be able to eat something warm tomorrow. I will go and fetch it, why don’t you go up to bed?” Helen wraps the blanket tighter and wearily goes to bed. Her head is spinning and Helen is relieved when she places her head on the cool pillow. His house was really cold she thinks when she drifts of to sleep.

            Helen cries out
when she turns over in bed with the pain shooting through her body. She stiffly gets up, she needs some painkillers she thinks to herself and goes to the bathroom cabinet. Selecting two tablets she swallows them down without water. Helen is shocked when she looks in the mirror and sees the bruise forming on her face. Pulling up her long t-shirt and looking at her blackened bottom. She cries when she looks at herself in the mirror. This is not love Helen she tells herself, chanting it over in her head. Why can’t she find the strength to leave him? She asks herself. 

      Helen goes to search his Nan’s room. It doesn’t take her long to find some
concealer and starts building up her colour on her cheeks and going back to Phil’s room, she adds some of her foundation and blush and she covers the bruise. Helen examines her face, yes that will do she tells herself. She dresses quickly and goes to wait for the workmen.

            She finds the paddle brush on the couch from last night and goes outside and bins it. Helen didn’t mind the slapping but beating
her with something was wrong she told herself. She decides not to phone Max because he would only want to know why she had so much make-up on. What on earth is she going to say to her parents? She would die from the embarrassment if they knew she was into a little punishment Helen thinks horrified. She have to stay until the bruise is gone or she could say she tripped if they ask her, she got to tell Phil that they are over but after Christmas she tells herself.

            The workmen were working wonders on the kitchen staying late most nights to make sure it was finished before Christmas. Helen loved the transformation
when the men finished up on Thursday. The widow was replaced by a larger one and allowing more light into the kitchen and a moveable work bench in the middle below a wooded utensil rack. And a large oven replacing the alga and a new boiler in the scullery, making the hot water last longer. It made Phil’s place feel like a home Helen thought. She was glad it was finally finished because now she no longer needed to see Keith the head workman anymore. He still gave Helen the creeps and she sighed with relief every time he went home at night but at lease Elsie came over most days Helen thought. One more night alone Helen thought and she have her Phil back, she missed him and the hurt she felt had faded with the bruise on her face, the one on her bottom was still visible in its entire yellowy tint.  

           
Someone rang the doorbell and Helen went to have a look through the window. Helen was shocked to find Keith at the front door, her mother always taught her to never open the door to anyone uninvited after seven so she hid behind the curtain.

“Mrs
. Taylor I know you in, I need you to sign something” Helen went to the front door

“
Sorry Keith you will have to come back, I don’t leave anyone in after seven and it’s now nine”

“I can’t do it tomorrow it needs to be signed today”

“Then slip it through the letterbox and I sign it”

“
For fuck sake don’t you trust me?” No Helen thought when a piece of paper is forced through the letter box. It was a completion form and Helen finds her bag for a pen and quickly signs it and pushes the form back through.