The Curse of Betrayal (40 page)

But as I sit here holding her body, she completely keels over. Her eyes roll into the back of her head and whites stare up at the sky. Her arm falls off of my lap into a mush of bloody snow.

“You killed her, Ryder.” Kara bends over me, her face looking down at me with a disapproving glance. “You killed her,” she chants shoving me backwards so I’m lying flat on my back. I look over and Megan’s glossed-over eyes stare right into my soul. Kara bends over me and pokes me in the chest. She lashes out again, her finger jabbing a hole into my shoulder. Blood gushes out of me, but instead of hurting, it feels good. Like the blood pouring out is punishment for loving two men.

I look at my shoulder, and I can see clearly through it. My stomach flips. What is happening to me? “I didn’t mean to. I tried to save her,” I tell Kara, hoping that she understands. I get onto my knees and reach for her, begging her to help me, but she just ignores me.

“You’re a murderer.” Ollie’s face appears next to Kara, and he starts chanting the same thing over and over: You killed her. He shoves me just like Kara, and I fall back again. This time, I land on Megan’s soaked body. I scream and push away from her, but her vacant eyes stare right at me again, making me guilty. I look away, but it only makes me feel worse. I did do that to her. I killed her and now I can’t even face her.

“All you do is hurt people.” Ari’s green eyes pop up next and stare into my soul as he joins in on their chant. He also shoves me before chanting about my murdering. Suddenly, Lisa and Professor Onassis, Mikey, Shane, Junior, my dad—they all appear in my line of gaze and chant down at me.

The chanting gets louder and louder, their voices echoing in my mind until my ears start ringing in pain. I cover myself with my arms, but their faces only get nearer, and each of them stare right into me like I’m the scum of the earth.

“I’m sorry!” I yell, reaching my hands up to them, hoping that someone understands. “I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry. Kill me!” I plead, hating myself for what I’ve done. The guilt overwhelms me. “Kill me. Take me!” I scream at the top of my lungs.

“Miss Mason.” A woman’s voice echoes in the back of my mind. “Miss Mason. Please, stop. Relax, everything is okay,” the voice says. I feel hands on my shoulders, and it brings me back to right now.

I open my eyes to a stark white room. It smells like Clorox bleach—it burns my nose. My eyes have trouble adjusting, so I have to blink them to focus on the woman’s face. I try to reach my hand up to rub my eye, but I’m pinned to the bed. My arms and legs refuse to move.

“Wh—“ I start to say, but my throat is on fire. I can’t even get out my question, let alone the first word.
 

“Shh. Miss Mason, everything is all right. You’re safe.” Her matronly voice soothes me. “Don’t try to talk. I will explain everything. Take this please for the pain.” She nods down to me and then reaches to my bedside table. She lifts up a jar and takes out a horse-sized pill. She conjures up a glass of water from somewhere in the room. I watch, emotionless. Reluctantly, I swallow the pill after she drops it in my mouth. She places the glass of water at my lip, and I take a nice big sip, hoping it will help push the pill down my dry throat. It sears a path down my throat and into the pit of my stomach.
 

“You’re in the hospital, sweetie. You suffered quite a number of injuries. You had a dislocated shoulder and broken elbow, four broken ribs, a major concussion with brain swelling, your throat is torn up, and your vocal chords were ripped. Also your ankle is sprained severely. Your face went through some trauma as well, but nothing permanent. I’ve never seen anything quite like it,” the doctor says, reading from her thick clipboard. I can barely comprehend what has happened to me.
 

“I have you hooked up to an IV here to help. The medicine will help you sleep. Right here, I’ll leave a white board and marker so you can communicate.” She places the white board on the bed next to me. “I don’t want you talking, okay?” I nod at her.

She grabs my hand and squeezes it. “You have some visitors. Can they come in?” She drops my hand and gives me the board. I quickly scribble a message down.

Not Ari

She narrows her eyes in confusion but nods her head as she exits the room with a blank expression on her face. She shuts the door behind her, and I lie here, not wanting to disturb my body and punish myself anymore.

The first person to walk in is Kara. It saddens me to look at her, because her face reminds me of Megan, and then I’m just reminded of what a murderer I am. Kara doesn’t say anything; she just comes to my side and crawls into bed with me.

She has a dark bruise over her cheek bone, and her left arm is in a sling, again, but she’s alive. She makes sure not to rest on me as she lays her head on my pillow, perfectly level with me.

I stare into her eyes, willing her to read into what I’m trying to tell her. I feel the tears start to brim at my lids as I convey my regret, my guilt, and my sorrow to Kara wordlessly. She reaches a hand out to me and brushes the pad of her finger under my eye, mopping up the tears.

I reach between us and grab the board and maker.
 

I’m sorry

“I don’t blame you for any of this. I would have died for you. You’re my best friend.” Kara lets her own dam down, and her tears fall over, creating a flood. She brushes them off her cheeks, but they come too quickly. I shake my head to get her to look at me.
 

I killed her

“Stop! Stop, Ryder. You didn’t kill her. The demons did, so stop. Stop saying that. Enough!” Kara lashes out, yelling at me. Her voice is so rigid that it makes me flinch.

She stands up, getting off the bed and retreats, leaving the room. She pauses in the doorway but doesn’t look back. “I love you, but Megan’s gone, and it’s no one’s fault but that man who stabbed her.” She slams the door shut behind her.
 

I want to yell at her. I want to tell her to stop and to talk to me. But at the same time, I don’t. Let Kara take out her anger on me. I can take it.

I stare into the empty space in the room and try to figure out what to do next. I have so much hate in my heart, it’s overwhelming. Only a few seconds pass before the door opens again, revealing my blonde love. He rushes to my side and grabs me, pulling me into his chest. I groan in pain as he crushes my ribs with his heavy body. He lays me back in the bed and stares into my eyes. I can see the sickening pity in his eyes.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t come for you.” Regret fills his voice, and it hurts me. It pains me deeply. I stare up at him confused by what he means. “Let’s not talk about that now. Are you okay?” He takes my head in his hands, and if for just a single moment, the throbbing stops.

Just sore

“Do you need anything?” he asks me.

Where is my mom?

“Are you sure you want to talk about that now?” he asks, making me furious. I think he can tell I’m getting upset, because he goes on, not waiting for me to object. “She’s with Hades, I believe. I was so worried about you; I didn’t have a chance to really look for her. You scared me,” he confesses.

I stare at him meaningfully so he understands what I’m trying to say without actually having to say or write it.

“I’ll go and get her; I promise. I just had to make sure you were okay first. You’re always my first priority.” He bends down and kisses me right on the lips. The kiss isn’t passionate or fiery; it’s rigid and tense. I don’t have the liveliness to stop him, so I let him softly touch me.
 

Sadly, I don’t feel a single thing. My heart barely beats, refusing to speed up. I think my emotions have taken a hiatus. He parts and gives my nose a kiss before leaving the room wordlessly.
 

When Ollie opens the door, a commotion ensues outside. An intense bang emanates and echoes into my room from the hallway. I flinch from the eruption but will myself to believe that I’m safe here. I’m not going to die. Nobody is going to attack me here. A nurse comes to my door and pulls it firmly shut, closing the gap that Ollie left when he exited.

Through the door window, I see Ari yelling at the poor nurse. His arms flail around animatedly. I watch as he continues to yell at her, screaming to admit him into my room. She shakes her head, but it only prompts him to yell louder. He pushes past her without touching her and pulls open the door to my room.
 

He stops right in the doorway. He stares at me with worried eyes, magnified and question-filled. I stare back at him, momentarily forgetting everything that’s happened. Ari has that quality about him—to be in the moment. He looks like he’s been through the ringer. His eyes are lurid and sunken in. He has a five o’clock shadow, and his long hair is in his eyes, greasy from not washing it.

But I stop looking when I remember. When it all floods back into my mind. I shake my head left and right, silently telling him to stay away and not enter. I almost burst into tears just seeing his expression fall. The feeling is foreign—unwanted.

But I push past my guilt. He disgusts me. He betrayed me. How dare he show up here. I pull up the whiteboard and quickly write a note. I need to get this off my chest. He needs to understand what his betrayal has done to me.

Don’t come back.

He looks from my eyes to the board and back again in disbelief. I make my face as blank as possible so he can’t see the torment in my eyes. I don’t want him to know what he did to me. He broke my heart when he gave my mother away—crushed me from the inside out.
 

I can never forgive him for working with Hades and ruining my life. He doesn’t even bother to put up his wall to block his emotions; instead, he nods as his eyes fill with tears. He turns in the doorway but looks back for one last time and meets my gaze.

A single tear spills over and trickles down his scruffy cheek, leaving a path of pain. I want to reach out and wipe away his problems, but this is his fault. He gave my mother to Hades for who knows what. He freaking had dinner with Hades.
 

I can never forgive that. No matter how much my heart wants to. My heart is officially frozen over. I feel hate and hate alone. And until I can release that, I’m done.
 

CHAPTER THIRTY ONE

saying goodbye
 

I never knew a week could go as slow as this past one. Demi God Academy closed down until further notice since the attack. I think the latest email said there was seven casualties—five students and two teachers. One of the teachers who was killed was Professor Ortean, my creatures class teacher. I can’t say I blame them for closing the school, but moving home has been a nightmare.

My dad thinks I had a panic attack that sent me running for the hills. And when I got to the woods, I fell face first onto a rock, which explained my bruised up face, thanks to Hermes. Then for the ribs, they had to get creative. I don’t even know what they said, something about a bear, I think, but my dad bought it, and I just nodded along. Luckily, I was under for most of the conversation, so I didn’t have to lie to his face.

To be honest, I’ve been under for most of the week with only snippets of my memory in place. After getting released from the hospital after some nurse’s magic voodoo, my girls—Lisa and Kara—went with me to my dorm room. They packed it up for me and got it all in my old Honda. Junior drove me home. The car ride to my home in Connecticut was silent. But it didn’t bother me.

It’s like my life is a television, muted and in black and white, fuzzy with those static things you used to see when the antenna was crooked. I don’t listen when people talk to me. I can’t. I don’t want to hear their pity or their pretense of being normal. This isn’t normal. None of this is okay. And nothing can be fixed. Life is forever different.

Instead of wallowing, I’ve been planning—planning my next move, planning my revenge.
 

With my lack of interest in the real world, I can see more clearly in my mind. I know what I need to do, and as I awake on this dreary morning, I know today is the day it all begins. Today, I come to terms with the things that have happened and move forward.

It may not be healthy to plan this attack and revenge scheme, but it’s the only thing I can do. It’s the only thing I can focus on. I have to do it to make Megan’s death worth something. My mother is still in Hell thanks to Ari, and now I can do something. I can help her.

I climb out of my hot shower and pull the black towel around my gaunt body. With a muted life, tastes don’t really matter anymore. I don’t bother to look at myself in the mirror, because the mere image disgusts me.
 

I walk back into my childhood bedroom and rummage through the closet for the outfit I’m looking for. I take the dress in my hand and throw it over my now dry body.

I throw on some black pumps my dad laid out for me and struggle to walk in them on my way to the bathroom. I don’t have the spirit to dry my hair, but I force myself to since I want to look as perfect as possible on this retched day. I have to pay my respects, and I can’t do that if attention is on me. I don’t want people to murmur or gossip. I just want to look like another student.