The Dead (The Thaumaturge Series Book 1) (31 page)

“That'd be nice.”

He helped me undress and this time I let him, his deft fingers making short work of the buttons and zippers. Without waiting to undress himself, he urged me over to the tub and helped me climb in. I felt as weak as kitten, and didn't try to do it myself, grateful for his strength.

I let out a satisfied groan as I leaned back into the hot water, letting my head fall back against the tiled tub surround. For a few seconds, I just floated in the warmth, feeling all the aches in my body ebb away. Leo sprinkled some of my bath herbs into the water and the smell of lavender and mint rose out of the steam, making my skin tingle pleasantly and I breathed deep.

I heard the rustle of clothing and turned my head to watch Leo undress. He saw me watching, and a strange emotion passed over his face, one of uncertainty. It wasn't a feeling I ever associated with him, and it made me frown.

“What?” he said, tossing his shirt on the floor and pulling off his socks.

“Nothing.”

“You've got that look.”

“Which one?”

“The overthinking one. Out with it.”

“Are you going to stay now?”

He arched one elegant black eyebrow. “I see. I declare my love for you and now I must be put on a leash?”

Well, fuck
. I winced. “No! I only - I just wanted to know.”

“I don't leave because I don't care about you.” He had stopped undressing, and stood still, glaring at me. “I don't want to go. Did that ever occur to you?”

I sat up in the water, making it slosh against the tub. “Then why?”

He shifted, looking uneasy. “Because I have a job, Ebron. People I have to answer to. I have . . . responsibilities.”

I was stunned into speechlessness. I stared at him, confused and hurt and too many other emotions to count.

“You never told me this,” I said finally.

“I know. I wanted to keep you away from it.”

“What do you do?”

“I don't want to tell you. I don't want to talk about it.”

“Why?”

“Because,” he snapped. “It's not part of our life, here, okay, and I want to keep it that way.”

“You're . . . compartmentalizing?”

He huffed out a little laugh, and peeled down his jeans. I watched, sore and confused and bothered, but somehow still turned on. When he was naked, he came to the side of the tub and touched my shoulder, indicating that I should scoot forward.

“I want to hold you,” I said, leaning back instead and nodding to the space in front of me.

He shrugged, and stepped in, displacing a great deal of water as he settled against me. Fortunately, one of the few perks of the trailer was its jet bathtub, and we both fit more or less comfortably, though my long legs were cramped against the tile. I straightened them, pressing my feet flat against the tub surround.

He let his head fall back against my shoulder and I ran my hands down his slick chest. I pressed my nose against his black curls and breathed in his scent. For a long time, we lay in peaceful silence, our chests rising and falling together, the warm water surrounding us. I closed my eyes, almost sleeping, content and warm.

“I know I’m gone a lot,” Leo said suddenly, jerking me out of my near-doze.

“Hmm?”

“You should keep doing it,” he continued. “I mean it. You should find people to be with, even if they’re just casual like that-”

“Leo, shut up.” I bit his neck gently, right on the ridge between his neck and shoulder and he sighed and wriggled back against me a little.

“I just wanted him,” I said quietly. “Do we have to do this? I don't know why I did it. He was hot.”

Leo nodded in agreement. “He was. He was pretty.”

“It's not like you haven't fucked other people, Leo. I know you have.”

“That . . . isn't the same thing.”

“Why not?”

He was quiet for a while, rubbing his head restlessly back and forth against my shoulder.

“I don't own you, Ebron,” he said finally. “This isn't
Twilight
, or whatever. You don't belong to me. But I did kind of think that we had an understanding.”

“That you take off and do whatever you like and I should wait here for you?”

“No,” he snapped. “And fuck you. I'm the one always telling you to go on a date or something. You're not getting any younger, love. You should find someone to spend your life with.”

I pressed my lips to his neck. “I thought I had.”

Silence again, and I wondered if I had gone too far. Then he sighed, long and weary and covered my hands with his, where they lay on his bare chest.

“Then you're going to be lonely. I can't be that for you. I can't be here all the time.”

“Can't I go with you sometime?”

“No!” he shook head forcefully. “No, never.”

I snorted. “All right. No romantic getaways. Got it.”

“I can't take the risk, Ebron. If you came with me, and anyone else found out about you . . .”

“Who? I don't know what you mean.”

“Come on, moron. Think. When I leave here, I meet up with... others. There’re things out there, Ebron. If they knew about you, what you can do . . .”

I felt very still, my heart going cold in my chest. “What? They'd what? And also, what
things
? Other vampires?”

He scoffed and turned his head to nuzzle at my jaw. “You know there are others.”

“I know, but...”

“You're the only one like you. As far as I can tell.”

The words felt like rocks hitting my chest. They stung, and I wanted desperately to change the conversation.
Couldn't we talk again about the him loving me thing?

“I can't be the only one,” I said softly.

“I think you are. I've been all over the world, and never found another human who can do what you can do. There are healers, of course, and people who can talk to spirits, and even people who can ascend into the higher planes, like you can, but I've never met another human who can do all that and raise the dead.”

I swallowed hard. Yeah, I could do all that. But apparently I paid the price with other people’s blood.
A sacrifice.

Some of the tension receded a bit and he relaxed against me again. His skin still felt warm against mine, comfortable against the cooling water. I reached for the soap and scrubbed at my hands, washing away the last of the blood. Then I ran the soap across Leo's chest and down to his belly, making him laugh a little as I lightly tickled him.

“Want to go to bed now?” he purred at me, and I smiled weakly.

“I don't know if I'm really in the mood, Leo.”

“That's okay. We can cuddle.”

I smiled into his shoulder, and squeezed him a little with my knees.

“What were you and Marcus arguing about?” I asked, and felt him stiffen.

He gave an exasperated snort. “The little fucker wanted me to kill him. So he could go up there with you and help you fight that witch.”

“And you declined the opportunity?”

He craned his neck around to look at me. “Would you have forgiven me for that? And you would have felt obligated to bring him back again.” He shook his head. “It would have been too complicated.”

I closed my eyes, suddenly seeing all the blood again. I wondered where Marcus was now, if he was struggling to help Jim carry Corvin out to Scott’s truck. I wondered what they would do with him, with Morgan. Would they take her to the hospital? Would I ever hear from Marcus again? I wanted my clothes back from him.

I didn't want to think about the man I'd killed.

“Come to bed,” Leo said softly, pulling away from me and standing up. I playfully slapped his ass and he smiled down at me. I took the hand he offered and naked we went into my bedroom.

Leo pulled the covers out from underneath Johnny, who leapt off the bed and stalked over to his corner. Then Leo turned to me and pulled me into his arms, kissing up my neck.

“Well, maybe I could be in the mood,” I said, closing my eyes as he ran his hands down my back, and left a trail of warm kisses up to my ear. He shifted, pressing his pelvis right against mine.

“Maybe I could convince you?”

“Yeah,” I said, letting him push me back onto the bed. “Convince me.”

He grabbed my legs and pulled them up, pressing in between them. His kiss stayed gentle, almost careful. My hair knotted in his hands as he splayed his fingers out against my temples. I had the sensation of being completely held, safe and protected.

We kissed for a long time, tender kisses that he didn't try to turn up. His mouth tasted smoky, his damp skin hot against my belly. He thrust lazily against me, but there was no urgency. I felt like we could have kissed for days.

Finally, Leo moved his mouth to my neck again, his lips soft. “Can I fuck you?” he whispered, and a bolt of pure lust shot down from my chest into my groin. I nodded, and he kissed me again, just as slowly, with the same amount of attention. When he paused and our eyes met, it was almost too intense, the depth of the emotion I saw there.

“There’s new lube in the nightstand,” I told him, and he smiled ruefully.

“When did you have time to go shopping?”

I laughed. “I just forgot that I bought more. Lucky for you.”

“Lucky for you,” he countered, and reached over to rummage in my nightstand. He produced the little box and tore it open, dropping the bottle on the bed.

“Lay on your back,” Leo said. His voice was little more than a growl. “Grab your knees.”

I regarded him for a moment, and he gave me a tiny nod. My head still ached a little, and when I stretched out on my back, there were pings of pain all along my spine. I had to take a few deep breaths to calm down, to make myself stay still. I pulled my legs back a little, all vulnerable and on display.

Leo moved over me, nudging my thighs apart. His fingers, slick with lube, rested on my ass, not probing yet, just touching. His other hand went to my hip, running his thumb in small circles against my hipbone. Then his fingers pressed into me and I grunted at the intrusion, instinctively trying to move away. The hand on my hip kept me still, though, tightening enough to bruise.

“I've got you,” he said softly and I nodded, letting my head rest against the mattress. He touched me again, moving his fingers into my ass a little deeper. It was familiar and foreign and terrifying, all at once.

“Ready?” I felt him moving against me, both hands on my hips now as he moved into position.

I glanced up at him, seeing his powerful body hard and waiting for me. It was intensely erotic, and I nodded, moving my hands to cover his and letting my knees hang open.

He pushed in, stopping when he felt resistance, and then I felt his thumb on my ass, spreading me wider. I panted a little, feeling my face flush with excitement and embarrassment and desire.

“You look fucking gorgeous like this, Ebron,” Leo said. His face shone with sweat, a curl of dark hair hanging over his eye. He thrust in deeper and I felt his thighs against me, felt him stretching me. My hands flailed a bit, finding purchase in the blankets and twisting tight. My legs shook. It was almost painful, discomfort and pleasure tumbling over each other. My stomach ached, my cock ached. The backs of my eyes burned a little. I wanted him to make me forget.

He rubbed a soothing circle on my leg, even as he increased his tempo a bit, hard enough that I felt his thrusts deep in my guts. Pleasure started to build, phasing out the pain and I heard myself moaning.

“God, that's good.” Leo dropped down, draping himself over me and resting his head on my shoulder. His hair brushed my cheek, and I gripped his arm, pressing my face into his neck. He groaned. “Oh, fuck, yeah love, you sweet little thing . . .”

I wanted to protest -
I'm not a little anything
- but I couldn't think through the haze of pleasure. My hand dropped down to my erection, but then Leo grabbed my arm, holding me still.

“Fuck, Leo, come on,” I groaned.

“Not yet,” he panted. He shifted suddenly, pulling my arms straight up above my head and holding them down with one fist. He scrambled up on his knees, thrust again, harder than before, pounding into me.

I cried out at the unexpected change of angle, which sent electric shocks of pleasure straight to my balls. I felt on fire, my skin tingling, and I struggled against him, bucking up a little, desperate to get some friction against my throbbing cock. But his grip on me was like steel, not budging in the slightest. Of course, despite the charade we played, I was completely helpless against him, powerless to stop him if he ever really wanted to hurt me. He held me immobile with one effortless hand. We strained against each other, and when I finally submitted and relaxed in his arms, he released me. Our eyes met and something passed between us, some acknowledgement.

What the fuck was that?
I wanted to ask him. There had never been any sort of power plays between us before, and I wasn't sure if I liked it now. I gave a little buck, just to see if he would let me and he did, straightening his arms to give me more room.

He nuzzled against my ear. “Just reminding you, babe.”

“What?” I could hardly catch my breath.

“Just reminding you what you're fucking.”

“I never forget, Leo.”

“Let me bite you, Ebron,” he mouthed my neck frantically. For barely an instance, I felt the fangs rest on my skin.

“No. Fuck me, Leo, come on, please, give it to me.”

He growled in frustration, and roughly hauled my hips up, balancing me easily in his lap. My legs protested at the ungentle treatment and I must have winced or gasped, because he immediately let go, his touch becoming tender. My heel slid against his slick back.

He leaned over me, lacing his fingers through mine, and began to rock into me. I couldn't think anymore, not with how he was fucking me, my whole body shuddering underneath him. Finally, he grabbed at me to stroke me and I came in his hand, my cries muffled into the pillows. He thrust for a bit longer, his jerking hips hard and snapping against my ass, and then he went still, panting and moaning, and his hand clenched mine hard enough to hurt.

I didn't move, lying still under him as he came, and then he slumped onto his side, making satisfied little purring noises, his chest rumbling.